Personality

I don't know when I came home, I changed my clothes and slippers in a trance, I put the keys back in the small basket where the sundries were always placed, and then I went to wash my face.I buried my head in the sink full of clear water, held my breath, and watched the tiny bubbles emerge from my eyes one by one and burst.The chest cavity is like a time bomb in ambush, which will explode unexpectedly at any time.I felt like an invisible hand was strangling my throat, and I couldn't breathe or think about anything.

Unplugging the sink, I watched the water rush by in front of my eyes, and flow into the sewer in a shrinking vortex.

The vortex, the vortex again, I feel that I am currently in a huge vortex.Mysteries, one after another, like bubbles that are constantly emerging, one after another.

After the water ran out, I realized that my headache was about to split, and when I looked up, I was greeted by myself in the mirror.My voice was caught in my throat, and I staggered back, staring straight at myself in the mirror.

When people look at their own mirror image, do they also feel a sense of shudder like me?It was like coldness spreading from the back all the way to the limbs and bones.Then I began to wonder whether the person in the mirror was the real me, or the person outside the mirror was me.

I was in an indescribable panic, flashing through my mind and looking in the mirror.

That crying boy was not the Kamenashi Kazuya I was familiar with.I don't even feel like I know him at all, never met him at all.He was obviously just one person, but he had two completely different faces.No, the faces are exactly the same, but they are clearly two different people.

My memory began to become chaotic, with strange lights and shadows flashing through my mind like a fast lens, spinning rapidly.

At that time, I seemed to understand a little bit what he was doing and what he was thinking.

I can't stay at home, as long as I look in the mirror, I can't help but feel fear. My heart is already trying to connect the things since I met Kazuya, and the clues that have puzzled me at a certain point, one by one. , I really want to see what kind of amazing image it will be when it comes out.However, I eventually gave up on this stupid idea.

I can't do that, and I don't want to make any ill-intentioned guesses about and also.I couldn't extricate myself from the contradiction, after receiving a call from my manager asking me to go to the recording studio, I decided to use work to anesthetize myself for the time being.Be a competent star, not just another detective.

The one who helped me compose was a very famous Italian composer from the United States.My manager is obviously very satisfied with me finally being willing to cooperate and put some thought into my new single, instead of blindly immersing myself in the tenderness of my beautiful girlfriend.All along, he didn't know that what I liked was actually a strange man.I like the song this time, the light and comfortable melody reminds me of the good times I spent with Kazuya.Kazuya's smiling face appeared in his mind again unstoppably, a very gentle smile, just like all men who look at their lover.

I reached out to the composer and expressed my welcome in English, but he unexpectedly spoke to me in a language I had never heard before. I didn’t need to look in the mirror, and I believed that my face must have been frighteningly pale.

The agent asked me nervously if I was uncomfortable, because I kept forgetting to be polite and frowned and stared at the foreigner's face.I simply cannot maintain my manners in this situation.

I finally knew which language Kazuya was speaking to the boy in the mirror.I still clearly remember a recurring word in it.

They spoke Italian, and Kazuya and the boy in the mirror spoke Italian.I still remember the words whispered repeatedly in his mouth.So I immediately copied it to the composer.The tall foreign man looked at me in surprise, but answered my question in a friendly manner.

èguasto, èguasto, kazuya.

The meaning of that sentence is: he is dead, he is dead, and also.

During the Cold War period when we lost contact, Kazuya published another novel "Kill The Doctor".I bought that book, and it's about a mental patient who is threatened by his doctor, and under the stress of his insanity, he finally loses his mind and kills his doctor in an accident.As it turned out, Kazuya was indeed worthy of his title, with his ruthlessly sharper style hitting the top of the bestseller list.

At the same time that everyone is more pursuing and loving this mysterious writer, I smell a sense of despair and falling in this work, as if the body is falling hopelessly into the dark abyss, the feeling is slow and sensitive, dull Feel the fear of flying and falling, the despair of the coming ending, and the pair of eyes grinning on the cliff.

Only those who are in despair can write such desperate works.

By the time I realized this, I was already in a taxi.Kazuya's various weird behaviors, dilapidated rabbit dolls, fairy tale books on the bedside, tearful teenagers in the mirror, secret medical records, and even the split and twisted vortex masterpieces on the wall of Kazuya's apartment.In an instant, a complete image was quickly connected in my mind.

At that time, I only had one wish, I hoped that my hindsight would be in time, and that I would be able to save Kazuya in time.

Holding a thick phone book in my hand, I frantically looked for the number of Dr. Sato Akechi.Do not look for public hospitals, only private clinics.And a psychiatrist.I finally found Akechi Sato, a psychotherapist, with the address and phone number of his clinic behind.I almost pressed the number with trembling fingers, but in the end I resolutely pressed it and hung up.Because I recognized that number, it was the phone number that Kazuya often called to his apartment some time ago—the so-called editor’s reminder phone number in Kazuya’s mouth.

And also lying, he has been hiding everything from me, about him.

Find He Ye Besides, the most important thing now is to find He Ye.I began to deeply regret why I didn't rush in and hug him tightly when I saw He also cried in the mirror.

Breaking into Kazuya's apartment, there is no light, and the darkness is flowing water everywhere, silently occupying the entire space, covering everyone's eyes and all despair.Only darkness is the most real existence, and everything else is just an illusion in the mirror.

I heard my own trembling voice in the dark, very clearly, and also!And also!The tone of the cry was unfamiliar even to himself, as if it didn't come from his own vocal cords, it was already a crying tone with a different tone.

Kazuya's voice, very soft, came from behind the thick velvet curtain.Just a shout, Jen.

Just like the sound of nature, it is equivalent to a life-saving straw.I never knew if I saved him or he saved me.My tears were opening the curtains, and seeing the thin figure of He Ye curled up in the corner, they finally flowed down uncontrollably.Hugging him tightly, kissing his hair comfortingly.Before I could say that sentence: Kazuya, fortunately you are still here, nothing happened.

He was also buried in my arms, his body trembling like a fallen leaf rustling in the cold wind, and he could only whisper a word repeatedly.

Jen, he's dead, he's dead.

I gently pushed his body away, and the pale moonlight leaked from the gap between the curtains, revealing the bloodstains on Kazuya's body