lifetime flower

The author has something to say: It seems that there is something to say... and I don't know where to start, hey... read the article

41. The world is unpredictable (1)

We sat on the bench outside her house for cooling off at night and chatted for a long time. It seemed that there were only the two of us under the starry sky, without Li Zhi, and no one came to bother us.It wasn't until the sky became faintly white, and I leaned on her head that I seemed to wake up from a dream.I glanced at my phone, it was already 04:30.

Reluctantly told her that I should go back, she said she would send me off, but I firmly refused.Under my urging, she walked into the house step by step.When she closed the heavy door and turned on the lights in her cabin, I breathed a sigh of relief and prepared to go back.But the moment I turned around, I saw her pink curtains being lifted, and a slender figure standing in front of the window, staring at me.

My throat was choked, and I couldn't speak for a while.What's more, even if she said something, she couldn't hear it.So I pointed to my heart, and she nodded immediately, pulling out an erratic and sad smile.I really don't want to turn around... I glanced at the gradually brightening sky, gritted my teeth, turned around and left.

But what he couldn't help was that he looked back at her for a moment.

Her eyes hide too much emotion.

Going home is much easier than leaving the house. I easily slipped back to my bed without making a sound. The bed was still the same, with a thin layer thrown aside.After the door was closed, I quickly changed into my pajamas and got into bed.His mind was over, and he fell asleep as soon as he closed his eyes.

It was already ten o'clock when I woke up again. I rubbed my sleepy eyes and walked out of the room to get the broom.The younger brother's voice suddenly came through the wall: "I have already cleaned my sister."

"Really." I was stunned for a second, put down the dustpan, and shook it to the bathroom to wash.I didn’t go to bed until almost five o’clock, and my spirit was really low. Even the super cool mint toothpaste my mother bought couldn’t save me.Looking at the blue-faced person in the mirror, I couldn't believe it was me.

While brushing my teeth, I heard my mother calling someone in the living room. The voice came intermittently:

"...I'm not in a hurry, my girl is not in a hurry, she doesn't even have a boyfriend..."

...

"Ah, you want to introduce one? That's great, but she's still studying."

What is this and what, how did it come to me.

"Yes, yes, late marriage and late childbearing is good. Hey, look at Xu Wei, she has a child at the age of 19. She is still a child, and when she goes out to play, she throws the baby to her mother. Hey... it's time to worry about the child. I have to worry about my grandson, I'm tired. I'm not in good health... These juniors are still ignorant, so why not?"

...

"...Then my girl won't. She has a big heart every day. She thinks about everything but never thinks about it."

...

"...Okay, okay, okay, then I'll tell her about it."

...

"I don't object, I don't object. There are so many objections, sister. The girl is so old, she should think about it... But the girl in my family has always had ideas, and I can't control her."

While listening to my mother's phone call, my speed of brushing my teeth slowed down.Full of suspicion, who to call? Why does it always involve me, even late marriage and late childbirth?

When I was full of doubts, I heard the door of my brother's room creak open. Ye Lixuan dragged his slippers and came behind me, looked at me in the mirror, and smiled like a fool.Seeing it, I felt chills running down my spine, this kid must know something.

I squinted at him: "Why, laughing like this is definitely not a good thing."

"Hey~" He laughed dryly, leaned over, pinched my shoulders with both hands, shook his head and said, "Whether it's a good thing or not, I still have to see you, sister."

"What the hell...what the hell are you doing?...Okay, don't talk about you like this, I don't want to know anymore."

I snorted and turned my face away from him. The kid laughed and said, "Are you still arrogant? Sister, you have a secret, a big secret." After he finished speaking, he stood behind me in the mirror. Looking at me so intently.I don't know what he meant, but I was suddenly very disturbed.He stared at me intently, the light in his eyes gradually restrained, his expression gradually became serious, and soon there was no smile.

That gaze seemed to be piercing, which made me feel uncomfortable.

"Sister," he called me, with a terribly serious expression, and then he fell silent, as if he didn't intend to continue, but also seemed to be struggling, hesitating how to speak.Finally, when I hung my heart and waited for his next words like a judgment, and thought he would never speak again, he spoke.He lowered his voice, seemed to sigh, and asked me, "Where did you go last night?"

I saw my eyelids twitch in the mirror, but my face remained expressionless after all.I stared at him in front of me, sullenly made a look like I didn't hear clearly, and uttered a sound from my nose: "Huh?" Then he wavered, obviously struggling, as if he didn't have the courage to ask a second time.

It was just as if, he took a deep breath impatiently, and his voice was lowered: "You went out last night, I know, you went out at seventeen past one. I was still awake at that time, don't pretend, You can fool your parents, but you can't fool me."

I sighed, my tense face relaxed, and I didn't answer his question.I don't know how much he knows, so I can't speak.I hate this feeling now, although it is innocent, but suddenly everyone is on guard, and I feel very sad in my heart.Can anyone tell me, is this something that must be faced?

"Sister, what did you do, what time did you come back?" My younger brother lost his patience and asked me eagerly. My silence made him very anxious and mixed with dissatisfaction.But I also learned from this sentence that the only thing he knows is that I went out last night, and nothing else.I shook my head and said, "I couldn't sleep last night, and suddenly wanted to go out for a walk. I came back at 04:30."

"If you can't sleep..." he said, maybe seeing the change in my expression, he swallowed the last part of the sentence, looking a little annoyed: "Just go out for a walk? Didn't do anything else?"

I turned around and looked up at him: "For example?"

I hate this, I hate talking to my loved ones in this self-defensive, airtight way, but I have no choice.

"For example, who did you go to see?"

"...Your brain hole is bigger."

"For example, I met Li Zhi." He ignored my teasing and said with a frown.

Silly brother, staring at me so worriedly and intently, is trying to find some clues from my face. "Li Zhi?" I laughed mockingly. Yes, when this person was mentioned, I couldn't help but be scornful. I said contemptuously, "Him? You still think I like him? What kind of thing is he!"

"Sister, don't be like this, it's uncomfortable to look at me."

"Haha, that's because you think too much, kid."

"I hope, although you guys had a fight yesterday, it was because of Sister Yi. Between you and Li Zhi... okay, don't look at me with that kind of murderous eyes, I won't say anything Can't you?" He withdrew his searching gaze and waved his hands at me in panic.I put down my toothbrush and water glass, flicked him on the forehead, and said, "Thinking so much, who allows you to learn from me? If you can't figure it out, don't think about it. You're asking for trouble. You just need to know that I'm fine, good boy."

The younger brother snorted aggrievedly, turned his head and went back to the room.I smiled and shook my head, but my heart became heavy.When passing by the small cabinet, I took an apple for breakfast, and went back to the room to read while nibbling.

The mobile phone received a message from my younger brother: "My parents don't know about this, I didn't tell them, don't worry the family so much in the future."

I stood silently in front of the bookcase for a while before I replied with three words: "I'm sorry."

I made the lunch, a simple stewed soup, fried beef with bitter gourd, carrots, a palm-sized tender pumpkin, I shredded it to make a stir-fry, and my parents went to Xu Yi’s house to discuss the matter yesterday evening The dried crucian carp that my aunt gave me when I was here.It was almost twelve o'clock, and my father, who was not supposed to work overtime on weekends, came back from overtime.Hearing the heavy footsteps going upstairs, I hurried to open the door and put the slippers away.Dad came in, put away the bag, and sat at the dining table to fan the wind.Then I took a glass of water and passed it over, and went home to drink a glass of water, which is my father's habit.After drinking the water, I took the cup and put it away, and sat down at the table to eat.

Dad smiled kindly and softly patted my head: "It's great to have a daughter." I smiled back brightly, but with a strong sense of guilt in my heart, I said, "Let's eat, Dad." Passing the chopsticks to in his hand.Before I lowered my head, I found that the mother on the opposite side was staring at me, and the meaning was unknown.

Thinking of my younger brother's attitude this morning, I couldn't help feeling a little more blocked.What is this, besieged on all sides?Ahhh I'm so annoying.

This undercurrent is my fault, my fault.

"Sister, sister?...Sister!" I heard my younger brother calling me in a trance, and before I could react, he knocked on the head with chopsticks.I tried my best to look up as if nothing had happened, and looked at him: "Huh? What?"

He said dissatisfiedly: "Why are you in a daze, mom is talking to you."

"Oh, sorry, I was thinking about something."

My mother's eyes were very deep, and she asked me: "What are you thinking about?" I was stunned, well, I don't know what I was thinking.But at that moment, my heart suddenly moved, and I blurted out: "I want to go back to school, I want to go back and review in advance."

All three of them looked at me in surprise, and Dad seemed to be unhappy right away.

"...Isn't it good to review at home?" Mom was silent for a while, then said in a soft voice, with a hint of begging in her tone.She didn't even ask me why, just rhetorical.It's always been her style - hitting people's hearts directly and hitting the nail on the head.I suddenly felt sad, how did such a fucking idea come up, oh my god.

Concealing grilled rice, I said vaguely: "Well, I haven't figured it out yet." My mother sighed sadly.

She must be restless, otherwise, she hates the behavior of talking while she has food in her mouth.What is she thinking, is she thinking about why I want to go back, is she wondering if I know she knows, is she guessing how many things I have hidden from her?

.... Tongue twister?

Dad just said: "Daughter is getting older, we won't interfere with you, you have your own ideas, sometimes we don't understand too well." My brother didn't speak, and ate quietly without looking at me. I noticed that his nose famous.The atmosphere at the dinner table was obviously different, and everyone had their own thoughts.I seemed to be in it, struggling helplessly, but also as if I was detached, looking at the situation I created by myself, I felt guilty but I had no regrets.

In order to ease the atmosphere, I forced a smile and said: "It's just thinking about it. I haven't decided yet. It's also good to study at home. I want to go to school because there are many students staying in school. I have a lot of questions to ask them. Don't go." It’s okay, anyway, the Internet is so developed, so it’s the same for video questions.”

"Really..." Mom thought, absent-minded.

I quickly said: "Don't worry about this problem, Mom, what did you tell me just now?"

The younger brother suddenly cast his gaze over, with a strange expression on his face, wanting to laugh but not daring to laugh.Dad laughed directly, and looked at his mother who was smiling and didn't speak.Mom's complexion suddenly became better, and she said casually as if nothing had happened, "It's nothing, I'll just ask you if there is anyone you like, and if there is a boy you like."

I was stunned: "No, don't you know."

"The point is not this, the point is your aunt, oh, there is a child at your little uncle's house who likes you."

"...Child?" I looked at my mother in astonishment.Before she could open her mouth, her younger brother leaned forward with a smile: "Sister, sister, your expression is so wonderful hahaha, if it wasn't for the camera, I would take it for inspection and take a picture."

"For us old people, of course it is a child. A boy in his 20s is now working in the provincial capital. Didn't you go with us to your little uncle's hometown during the last winter vacation? He is from your little uncle's family. "

"...so?"

"The child said he likes you, so ask your aunt to help tell the story."

"So you were calling my aunt just now?! I don't even know who she is, and I don't know what people like me like about me..."

"Don't underestimate yourself, the child said he likes your quiet and cute appearance." Mom blushed in a rare old way. "What your aunt means is that if you don't have a boyfriend yet, can you consider him? If you agree, your aunt will give him your mobile phone number."

I looked at my mother in disbelief: "Does this mean you agree?"

"I'm free, you're already this old, it's time to think about these things."

"Mom! Didn't you tell me not to worry about finding a boyfriend before? Didn't you also say that studies are important?"

"Just to let you understand, get in touch, don't be in a hurry, besides, people have said that they don't approve of starting a family too early, so I can wait for you."

"Wait for me..." I was a little out of breath, my head swollen.My father and younger brother, who had been watching quietly with the intention of watching a joke, also changed their expressions when they saw me like this, and looked at me worriedly.

After calming down for a while, I continued: "Mom, I don't know what's wrong with you. It's not that you don't know what I mean. It can also be said that my outlook on life is also formed under your influence. Step back Wan Bu said that even if I try to contact that man...Let’s put it this way, do you know that man, do you understand him? You don’t even know who he is, so you dare to hand over your daughter to him?”

My mother showed a troubled face, and tried to calm down my emotions with a pleasant face. She hesitated and said, "What about the child's character? Don't worry about what your little uncle said. He is a very good boy. Is his career? It is said that his company The sales manager of the company is considered young and promising. It is said that there is a girl I have not liked for so many years, and I fell in love with you at first sight when I saw you that day..."

"Mom," I couldn't listen anymore, and interrupted my mother with a gesture, "You say this as if I have already decided to marry that person! Don't you think it's ridiculous? Have you considered me? I'm the main character in the matter of not falling in love. You say he is good, yes, maybe he is very good. But no matter how good he is, it is useless if he is not in tune with me. Can he understand me? Can he tolerate my weird temper ?Does he like music, does he like to read books, or when I read something and express it, will he be at a loss or laugh at my hypocrisy? Position? Future? How to deal with people? That's not him! It's just something external, isn't it easy to find a person with something external? Can these represent what kind of person that person is?"

"Yuer..."

"What I'm looking for is a life partner, not someone who makes do with each other! Mom, don't you understand me best?"

Dad hurriedly supported me who was so excited that I was about to stand up, and comforted me, "Yu'er, don't get excited, your mother has no other intentions."

"Daughter, you are so naive. You have no financial foundation. How can you have any feelings? You can't talk about understanding Long live in a broken thatched house..."

"Why don't you understand! Mom, you always use individual examples to deny me and generalize. Do I need others to give me the economic foundation? I am strong, and I can earn money by myself. I need to rely on men What? We were talking about objectifying women before, and now you're leading me down that road."

"But if you are stronger than men, they will feel unbalanced, which will lead to family crisis, daughter. Women must learn to show weakness and not blindly be strong."

"Mom, I'm not strong, I just don't want to be their vassal, how did I become strong..."

"...Then think again, even if you find someone who fits you well in every aspect, can you guarantee that he won't change his mind in the future?" Mom looked at me eagerly, with worry in her eyes.For a while, I was choked by these words and didn't know what to say. Listening to this argument... Ha, I suddenly felt disheartened, weak, and almost collapsed on the stool.

Then I cried, I didn't know why I was crying, I just felt angry, wronged, not understood, and my heart was so stuffy, tears fell down, I said: "Then should I just let it go? This is a lifetime Just because of this reason, I'm going to let it go? It's like who I'm with, he has no chance of changing his heart or losing his relationship... What's wrong with you, mother? What are you worried about? Someone you and I don't know , My aunt said yes, so you decided to let me try it? I haven't graduated yet, I still have to continue my studies, and I have more important things to do. Haven't you always supported me?"

Mom didn't speak.

"Speaking of pride, mom, you underestimate your daughter too much. It's not that I have no one to chase after me. What is a department manager? If I care about this, I would have been with Qi Haiguang a long time ago. He is a rich second generation. There are also intersections, the personality is also very good, and everything is good. Are you satisfied? But I don’t like him, and I know that the relationship with him is at most a friend. I can feel that if I am with him, nothing is right. Everything is wrong, we may quarrel every day. If this is what I want, someone I can rely on, I would have been with him a long time ago. Maybe you think I am too naive, let's see if I will be in a few years Will regret it."

"Don't tell me that if you don't get in touch, you know you won't like this kind of words. I'm just disappointed, such a hasty decision, it feels like you're going to sell me and don't care about me anymore... I don't look down on others, Just don't want to."

"I'm just afraid you don't want to." Mom said suddenly.

I was stunned, and I asked, "I don't want to? What do you mean?"

My mother dodged my gaze and sighed: "...it's nothing, let's eat."

"...I see."

Mom picked up the bowl again and picked up the vegetables.My younger brother glanced at me, and hurriedly yelled: "Eat, eat."

"Well, eat."

"Daughter, you two are really good. We are almost in time for the debate. Your brother and I can't get in a word. Hey, I performed well today, and I actually refuted the leader." Dad laughed and went I have a bone in my bowl.I looked up and smiled at my father, knowing that he was trying to ease the atmosphere.However, how can such a heavy heart be relieved by such a sentence.

The mother glared reproachfully at the beaming father, which made the father shrink his neck, retract his leaning body, and whispered: "The leader is going to get angry~"

Along with laughing, the worries in my heart became more and more serious.What made my mother so anxious, she changed her usual considerate personality.It seems that she guessed far more than I thought.In such a hurry to introduce a boyfriend to me, I still have to accept it... Is mom trying to test it?Xu Yi, what should we do.

I hate this feeling of guilt, but I know it will only get heavier, not less.

After the meal, I walked behind my mother, rubbed her shoulders, and whispered, "Mom, don't mind, I'm not angry or blaming you, I'm just a little sad."

Mom sighed: "I know, you are stubborn, and there is absolutely no way to force it. I was also in a hurry to make such a bad move!"

"Haha, Mom, why are you so anxious? Didn't you always say that you are not in a hurry? If you like it, I will definitely bring it to you. What are you worried about? Are you worried that I won't be able to get married? You have no confidence in me~ "

"That's not true. I'm just afraid that you'll be busy with other things and neglect the important things in your life. If you say that, you should always remember it. Don't just play along with me."

"No, no, I'm so obedient, right, Mom~" She smiled almost like a dog and "pleased" Mom, and I was even amused by my own image.

"Huh..." Mom let out a sound from her nostrils, proving that her anger has subsided, and then said: "Rub it for a while and go to the book."

I agreed, and quietly helped my mother rub her shoulders, but my thoughts drifted to Xu Yi.

I was wondering if I should go back to school early.