In order to survive, I do many jobs

The cold wind blows outside the window, and the dry branches and leaves and debris are carried up by the wind. With the sound of crackling firewood in the indoor fireplace, the room is quiet and peaceful.

At the scene of the laid-off girl's re-employment job search, Gogol's white cloak covered the top of my head. I was forced to narrow my vision and could only slightly lower my eyes and look at the thin young man paralyzed on the chair.

He looked at me: "..."

I looked at him: "..."

The atmosphere was very embarrassing for a while, and the crows flew past outside the window, making a sound of mocking stupid humans.

It stands to reason that as a source of happiness for walking, I have nothing to do with awkwardness or embarrassment. The place where the master walked was full of laughter and laughter, and the sand sculptures lined up to twist Yangko and dance Chacha, creating a great harmony in the universe.There is nothing that a piece of cross talk can't solve. If it doesn't work, add another selected sketch.

And the man in front of me is my final interviewer, so I should hand in my resume and start bragging (crossing out) about my past work experience and ideal salary to win this short-term job that seems to include board and lodging. Infiltrate the enemy and unravel the evil plot to save the world.

But the point is, I haven't forgotten my new script:

I, a miserable migrant worker, lost my job because of the terrifying Baron Demon King's business war annexation plan, and almost fell into the back kitchen of a tavern, washing dishes until dark.And because Mary Su Leiwen, who arranged for the new boss, was overheard by her future colleagues and passed the initial test directly, the job hunting process was extremely bumpy and twisted.

As a digression, I really like Gogol, we artists are so unconventional, we only need an opportunity to see each other: no one can reject dog-blood literature, no one!

My masterpiece is so beautiful, but it is a pity that the owner has no chance to appreciate it: I am afraid that he will be so angry that he will pour a bottle of vodka in the middle of the night and kick open the door of my room with a gun, and send me back to the west with a biubiubiu.In terms of ability to stay up late, I can’t compare to this nocturnal Siberian hamster, and this glutinous rice ball stuffed with sesame seeds is really a bit unscrupulous.

The big hamster covered with white skin was still staring at me with his clear eyes, I unilaterally shook my head with him for a long time, and finally I bowed my head and rubbed my dry eyes in defeat.

That's amazing, doesn't this guy even blink?As expected of a behind-the-scenes boss, invincible.

Question: When a poor wage earner meets a black-hearted boss who caused her miserable unemployment, should she punch him or kick him first, given that this boss is likely to become her next boss?

Answer: When your boss is suspected of staying up late and attempted sudden death, remember to keep the evidence before beating and avoid touching porcelain.Come on, beater with iron will, break the curse of 007 with your fist as big as a sandbag!

I seriously thought about my new personality, looked at my socialist iron fist and the weak body of the devil king, and wavered between sending him to the hospital with one punch and making soup for him to nourish his kidneys.

As Dazai Osamu’s beloved disciple, after I personally tried his astonishing Vitality Stewed Pig’s Blood, I realized: the so-called Vitality Stew series is just a combination of being broken and then resurrected. It's a good guy - it's especially effective for anorexic patients, and canned herring is delicious after eating the Bite-Vitality Stew range.

Seeing that this weak child who stays up all night with anemia doesn’t eat well, he needs dark cooking to soothe his sense of taste. Where is the kitchen?I'll show you a hand.

Although I am here to apply for a programmer and not a cook, cooking is my eternal hobby.The recipes I learned from Mr. Suehiro Tiechang have not been practiced well. Can I find new test mice in a foreign country?

The members of the House of Death shrank their necks: a sudden chill.

While staring at each other silently, I scanned the face of the new boss up, down, left, right, and right, and reviewed all kinds of information about him in my mind.

The devil Fyodor, from the murder incident in the fitting room of the shopping mall, the jungle incident, the murder incident framed by the phantom thief Kidd... There is a shadow behind each incident, playing with the former colorless king in the palm of his hand In between, the high-intelligence evil villain who wantonly provokes Wang Zhan.

Before seeing his true face, I had a lot of reasonable guesses about this man combined with facts—for example, his hard-to-remember name proves that he should be a school dropout who has never been beaten by the dean; His identity proves that he is an upright hunk; another example is that he calls himself a mouse, so he should only have one ear and so on.

Therefore, the final image of the devil in my mind should be like this: a giant mouse with chest hair and holding a spiked mace, the right ear is missing, only one left ear, and the cry is "Jie Jie Jie" The strange laughter, one child at a time.

But the actual devil is like this: a lifelong honorary member of the Sudden Death Association, a record holder of kidney deficiency and dark circles under the eyes, a lover of furry rabbit hats with lop ears, a big Siberian hamster, a non-bald code farmer, an inscrutable philosopher.

——The last one is what I can see from his clear and pitiful eyes. A person who despises himself for the sake of ideals cannot be a philosopher.

Philosophy is good philosophy second, I also plan to take philosophy in the future, use brick-thick textbooks to smash Osamu Dazai's daily mourning class, and solve this black mud spirit from the root.

Philosophy, programming, psychology, the three directions of my future electives seem to be covered by Morenjun.The look in his eyes was instantly kind and amiable, and I would never let go of the opportunity to steal a teacher for free. I love learning as much as I do not forget my original intention even in the task of Erwuzi, and I am always ready to take out my small notebook to take notes.

Although the difference between my imagination and reality is about as wide as the entire Pacific Ocean, I am a person who respects facts. Looking at the thin body of Majin-kun, I silently erased the inherent impression in my mind and took out a piece of milk chocolate from my pocket. hand it to him.

I used to have low blood sugar when I woke up early, and Osamu Dazai brought me sweets for a long time.

During that time, the top cadre of the mafia organization always had a lingering sweet smell, and the dying enemy in the interrogation room could occasionally smell the fragrance of candy on his fingertips, and when he struggled to raise his head, he could only Seeing the cold and calm glint in Dazai Osamu's eyes.

When the work was over, Osamu Dazai returned to the office to process the documents. I squatted on the ponytail and filled out his bandage reimbursement application for the day, and naturally reached into his coat pocket to grope.He took out a dark chocolate that he didn't like very much, and stuffed it back until he got the taste he liked, then he happily withdrew his hand, writing hard while holding the candy.

"Thank you." Fyodor took the chocolate in the shape of a small square, rubbed off the silver foil wrapped outside with his pale fingertips, twisted a corner of the chocolate with his fingertips, and slowly put it into his mouth.

His lips were pale in color, and a smear of syrup on his lips outlined fine lines on his lips, which were slowly licked away by the tip of his tongue.

Fyodor is surrounded by classical aristocratic airs.It's not that his behavior is in line with etiquette, but that you can hardly see his panicked side. Even if his poor physical fitness makes him unconscious, he still looks calm on the surface.

He may not be able to beat me, but this does not prevent me from thinking that he is a dangerous element.

It may be due to hypoglycemia. Fyodor sat with his head down on the swivel chair, and his shallow breathing could be heard in the room for a while.

"A Tuo~" The last person who broke the silence was Gogol, waving the corner of his white cloak cheerfully, like a little girl waving a handkerchief, and said happily, "Listen to me, Xiaoqian Ye worships you so much!"

Me: "???" What are you talking about? Why didn't I know that I admired him? I could tell by looking at his dark circles that Morenjun is not an excellent master of time management.

Don't I have a lot of work?But I will never make myself look like an anemic vampire. Of course, I can't rule out that it's the cold weather in Russia that caused the bed's sealing ability ax.If it is not forced by life, who would like to get up early in winter?

At this time, I have forgotten what I said when I captured the civet cat three times, so I forgot to stop Gogol from saying something like: "Xiao Qianye thinks that A Tuo, who is also a programmer, is not bald, it is really amazing Already!" provocative words.

Me: That's it!Did you take off his big fur hat as soon as you came in, not to see if your best friend is dead or not, but to inspect the goods for me?What a touching friendship!

Looking at Fyodor's thick hair and the codes flowing on the computer screen behind him, I nodded silently and admitted what Gogol said: Yes, I admire you very much, please tell me the brand of shampoo you often use and fragrance type.

"Since I'm here to apply for a job..." Fyodor thought about the word "application" and thought it was very interesting.He has been engaged in terrorism for so many years, and it was the first time that he was approached by someone to apply for a job as the "CEO of an Internet company". Leaving aside what kind of nerves Gogol was having again, the person brought here must not be an ordinary person.

It doesn't matter, as long as it can be used by him.Talents have the way to use talents, waste has the recycling value of waste, and he is not picky when manpower is insufficient.

"Find bugs for this code first." Fyodor rubbed his eyes sleepily and got up from the computer chair. Heat rash, "Nikolai, is there any instant food in the refrigerator?"

"It seems to be all eaten~ Oh yes, the clown went out today to buy ingredients, but I was so happy to see Xiaoqianye so I forgot! I will go out again." Gogol said unconsciously. Sharkman put on his top hat in his eyes, and went out to go to the market in a hop.

The door slammed shut. Fyodor stood there, looked at the closed door, and slowly turned around to go to sleep for a while.

As for the "applicant" thrown into the studio by him, if he dares to act rashly...

──It will probably be blown to nothing by the miniature bombs hidden in the house.

Under the computer chair, potted plants at nine o'clock, behind the storage cabinet at eleven o'clock...a total of five remote-triggered micro-bombs.The system roughly scanned a circle, and projected a dark green electronic map in my mind, with red dots flickering dangerously.

Wow, even my own studio in the safe house is a bomb nest. I have reason to suspect that he is a black-hearted boss who never blinks and sends his subordinates to die in return for the reputation of "exercising ability". Maybe even the salary is a painting Dabing doesn't give money at all.

Tsk tsk tsk, if it weren't for the fact that I have enough savings now and don't care about the meager salary of one or two part-time jobs, a boss like him would be dragged into a pigsty by me.

"Entrance exam... let me have a look." I threw the bomb-loaded computer chair aside, dragged a familiar little horse over to sit down, and scanned the lines of code at a glance.

My programming is entirely taught by Bishuiliu. On one evening after another busy part-time job, I am entertaining guests at the Polo Cafe while listening to Bishuiliu's codes that read from heaven to me with headphones, and then my system will Organize and replay the daily lessons, and understand all kinds of programming languages ​​bit by bit.

What Fyodor showed me was a part of the minutiae of the entire program. I studied it for a while and found that this piece should be the software icon, which is also commonly known as the logo. Sure enough, what he could show me must be his plan the most insignificant part of it.

"This is... Mickey Mouse?" I scratched my head, although I know Fyodor's nickname is mouse, but he is not afraid of being sued by the strongest legal department on the surface for using Mickey Mouse's big head as an icon so blatantly. Bankruptcy?Or is it that they are super brave in leading villains, and they are not cowardly at all?

Forget it, it has nothing to do with me as a wage earner. I will run away decisively after less than a year of work, go on business trips, go undercover, and the cat at home is pregnant and has a cub and confinement... There are only unexpected excuses. less than fake.

It is said to catch bugs, but the code written by Fyodor is very beautiful, concise and smooth, and it is pleasing to the eye to read along the way-wait, what is the last string of garbled codes?Why is this kid so rude.

It should be the garbled characters written and typed out by falling asleep on the keyboard.My system guessed.

Imagine: in a dark room with closed curtains, in front of the gloomy green screen, a pale face is staring at the English letters in front of it, and the fingers as stiff as a corpse slowly tap a new button.

suddenly!A burst of lightning and thunder!The programmer who stayed up late and died suddenly fell on the table with his full head of hair. At the last second when he lost consciousness, he stretched out his fingers tremblingly and wrote the last widow: The prisoner is...

"Prisoners are in this cruel society where you want to be 007 even if you are the boss." Fyodor's best friend Gogol said earnestly in a black suit, holding a white flower and standing on the funeral podium, "Friends, my best friend today Say goodbye to us, but he will always live in our hearts—we will never forget the last piece of code he didn't have time to type, which is his bloody and tearful struggle against capitalism!"

It's so touching!Sitting in the first row of the funeral, I was moved to tears and stood up and cheered. As the sad bug gradually came to an end, I held Morenjun’s relic—the computer that accompanied him all his life—and slowly put it into the coffin...

Wake up, Boss Dog is not dead yet, it's time for me to move bricks.

I woke up from the beautiful fantasy, and responded to the system's question: "Yeah, it's better to put rice on the keyboard, and chicken pecks are more reliable than this."

I dissed Fyodor first, and I deleted the codes of the suspected mental patient's confession line by line, moved my fingers, and took out my hand speed when facing people online.

Since it is an application test to demonstrate self-excellence, how can I show my difference by only catching a bug?If I want to survive tenaciously in a highly competitive society, I must show my housekeeping skills and let the boss see my strengths.

First of all, I think his icon design is not very popular, and infringements are unacceptable. Even the mafia must respect the Basic Law. How can it disrupt the market casually?If we let others know that our organization can't even hire a logo designer, it would be a shame.

In order to respect the personality of the boss, we temporarily retain the core element "mouse".As a qualified behind-the-scenes manipulator, packaging yourself as a good person is the best solution. Let's learn from qb. The masculinity hidden under the cute appearance is very fashionable. Therefore, the icon of the organization should be changed to - hamster.

I drew a chubby hamster with a little bit of blush on the bulging cheeks, added two bead eyes and big dies, and finally drew a bright flowery smile, an amiable cartoon that is loved by children The image is freshly baked.

Look, isn't the pollution-free and pollution-free masterpiece handed down from generation to generation much better than his fake and shoddy infringing products?You're welcome, take it as a gift from me to meet him.

I nodded with satisfaction and edited the new logo into the general program.The projection screen flickered, and the original infringing Mickey's avatar was completely replaced by my masterpiece, and the evil hunting style changed into a pink girl in seconds, perfect.

"Yoxi, let's work together." I stretched my waist and sat up on the pony pony. My ears moved and I heard the sound of Gogol's purchase, and I ran happily to eat my staff meal.

"Gogol, are you here to cook?" I watched in amazement as the clown walked into the kitchen carrying a whole turkey. He was dressed in a dress ready to perform on stage at any time. A kitchen killer without a b-number.

"Huh? Usually Ivan is in charge of cooking, but he won't be back in a short time, and A Tuo can only cook instant noodles, so the clown can only come by himself." Gogol took out a dart knife and gestured on the turkey's belly. Open the intestines twice, and have the intention of stuffing it directly into the oven.

"You don't pluck your hair?" I stood at the door of the kitchen and reminded him with difficulty in a weak humanitarian spirit, "I assume that the chicken you eat in restaurants has no hair, right?"

Could it be that the national conditions are different, and fighting nations like to eat chicken with the hair and bones?It's my lack of knowledge.

"Was the one going to pluck?" Gogol looked down at the chicken in his hand, and asked, "But the clown did the same thing yesterday, and A Tuo didn't remind me."

"So, did he eat it?" I questioned my soul.

"No, the clown ate it all by himself." Gogol said heartlessly, "Because A Tuo said he was allergic to chicken—did he lie to me? As expected of A Tuo!" At the end , he cheered so happily that he almost threw the turkey in his hand into the fireplace.

You are indeed true friends, and I fully understand where your genuine friendship comes from.

An anemic and frail contestant who tried to stay up late at night and his roommate, a neurotic cook, survive tenaciously in Russia, where winter is as cold as a dog and strong men walk everywhere. I admire them very much.

After learning that Fyodor's only hobby is typing codes, I can't help but wonder, if he is disconnected from the Internet, will White Fang win?Why bother to make it so troublesome, the best way to deal with Internet addicted teenagers is to cut off the source of hope he depends on for survival, believe me, that's right.

"Pluck the hair first, then put butter, potatoes, onions, peas and carrots into the turkey's belly and bake it in the oven." I tucked my hands in my sleeves and directed Gogol, who was very interested in cooking, "Remember the fire The chicken skin is brushed with oil and the secret sauce..."

When I was in Tokyo for Christmas, I also roasted an oversized turkey by myself. Osamu Dazai moved a small bench and sat by the oven, knocking bowls and waiting to eat. Mr. Odasaku led the children to upturn the Christmas tree in the living room. It's a very lively festival.

I kind of miss him.

A strong smell of meat violently woke Fyodor from his sleep. His stomach was empty after almost a day without eating. He pressed his aching abdomen and sat up from the bed expressionlessly.

The smell of turkey, did Gogol buy another turkey?He has no sense of plucking chicken feathers before roasting them.I didn't bother to remind him last time, that guy actually swallowed a whole chicken with feathers raw, next time if the clown magic performed raw turkey, there should be many audiences cheering.

And the trouble that Gogol brought back, if it doesn't work... With the double debuff blessing of hunger and lack of sleep, the kind Russians gradually became murderous.

"A Tuo, you are awake, let's eat!" Gogol raised his head from the dinner plate, and waved his oily paw at his best friend, "Today's turkey was a great success, Xiao Qianye is super good at cooking."

"Congratulations." I said modestly, taking the last big drumstick unceremoniously, "Mr. Fyodor, I have changed the code, and you can accept it at any time."

...Let him have a meal first.It was the first time since Ivan left that he ate normal takeaway food, and Fyodor was not sure if he should be touched in a symbolic way.

Well, when he found a turkey with four legs, but he didn't get even one of the three people here, he decided to take back his moving heart, the world is not worth it.

What was handed over to the newcomers earlier was an insignificant piece of code—it can’t be said to be completely insignificant, at least Fyodor liked the mouse pattern he designed by himself. He did everything from drafting to hooking to coloring. It can be said that it is His masterpiece.

Back in the studio, Fyodor glanced at the code on the screen briefly. There were no obvious logical errors, and the basic skills were good. He clicked to run the program while thinking this way.

In an instant, a gigantic chipmunk approached him, arrogantly occupying the entire screen. The chipmunk was still holding a big melon seed in its hand, and silently mocked the sleepy Secondary School with its bright innocent smile. juvenile.

The four characters "Rat of the Dead House" next to the logo push this ridicule to the peak—when the enemy sees their logo, the first reaction will no longer be to tremble and run away, but It will become a simple question: "Are you recruiting members from early childhood education institutions?"

Fyodor: "..."

"How about it, Mr. Fyodor, isn't it a work of genius?" I looked up proudly, waiting for the boss's compliment.

Excuse me, where is his knife?

The author has something to say: Qianye: What a chipmunk, it's clearly a Siberian hamster!It's your body!

Fei Jia: Touch the head to kill the warning.