15 diary

Xie Yiran returned the key to 1203 to Lu Jue and left.Then Lu Jue and Ji Bei called countless times, but they got through but no one answered.

Lu Jue felt faintly uneasy when he thought about Xie still being followed.

Ji Bei and Lu Jue searched for Xie Yiran all over the city, but to no avail.

Lu Jue searched all the places they had been to recently.Xie Yiran gave himself the key, where else could he go?When it was getting dark, Lu Jue remembered a place.

While driving there, Ji Bei called, and he was anxious on the other end of the phone: "Lu Jue, I think it's still possible to go back to the previous house! I'm far away now, so go and see him Are you there?"

Lu Jue stepped on the accelerator: "I'm going there."

In front of the house where Xie Yiran lived before, Lu Jue knocked on the door: "Yiran, are you inside?"

There is no echo inside.

Lu Jue called again, and sure enough, he heard a muffled ringing sound from the room with a door on the first floor.

"Yiran, I know you are inside, you open the door." Lu Heng said.

Still no response.Lu Jue was in a hurry. He called again and continued to knock on the door: "I know you don't want to see me, but please answer my call and let me make sure you're okay. Still... If you don't open the door, I'll find a way to break it of."

Lu Jue waited outside for him to respond, but there was still no sound, only the muffled bell was still ringing inside, wondering what happened to him inside?Lu Jue said anxiously: "Xie Yiran! How are you doing now..."

Lu Jue took two steps back and was about to kick the door when the phone in his hand was connected.

Lu Jue heard it immediately: "Yiran! What are you doing in there? How are you?"

"Lu Jue...you go away, I don't even want to hear your voice right now..." Xie Yiran on the other end of the phone, his voice was weak but also ruthless.

Lu Jue's heart sank, he was silent for a while, and then said softly: "Yiran, are you... all right?"

"I'm... fine. Please leave..."

"Open the door and let me see you..."

"Please... let's go..."

"Yiran, your voice is wrong..." Before Lu Jue could finish speaking, Xie Yiran hung up the phone.

Lu Jue called again, and then Xie Yiran directly turned off the phone.Lu Jue immediately knocked on the door: "Xie Yiran! Open the door!"

Lu Jue kicked the door directly, separated by a solid anti-theft door, he didn't know what happened to Xie Yiran inside, he kicked the door countless times recklessly, the violent movement made him feel the pain in his heart clearly Violent beating.

Knowing that Lu Jue couldn't get in, Ji Bei called Lin Fei in advance.

Lin Fei had rushed over now, and hurriedly took out the key to open the door.

The key had just been inserted into the keyhole, before it could be pulled out, Lu Jue kicked the door in.

The room was still the same as it was when Xie Yiran was moving. All the furniture was covered with white cloth. Xie Yiran was behind the sofa in the living room, curled up on the ground, his brows were tightly knit, and his face was a little pale.

"Still!" Lu Jue rushed over and picked him up.

Ji Bei happened to come over too, seeing that Xie Yiran's condition was not good, he asked Lu Jue anxiously, "What's wrong with him?"

"I don't know yet, I'll take him to the hospital first."

Ji Bei was worried about Lu Jue, and seeing that his face was not looking good, he wanted to take Xie Yiran over.Lu Jue had already rushed downstairs with Xie Yiran in his arms.

Xie Yiran's face was pale from the pain, curled up in Lu Heng's arms, and tightly clenched the clothes on his shoulders.

An also got out of the car, and immediately opened the door for Lu Jue: "Mr. Lu?"

"Notify the hospital!" Lu Jue directly carried Xie Yiran into the back seat.

While driving, An dialed the number of the hospital.

Lu Jue hugged Xie Yiran's shoulders, helped Xie Yiran wipe off the sweat from the pain, and worriedly asked: "What's wrong with you? Is there any pain?"

"Lu Jue...why are you..." Xie Yiran opened his eyes slightly, but he didn't know what he wanted to ask?How should I ask?What can I ask?He opened his eyes slightly, and in the end he only said a question to whom he was asking: "...why?"

"Because... I love you, Xie Yiran, I can love you like him, and love with my life!"

"You're not him..." Xie Yiran let go of his clothes.

"I'm not him," Lu Jue grabbed his hand back: "So, I'm going to pursue you as Lu Jue now." There was persistence in his voice, just like Lu Heng's assertiveness: "This is mine. The first confession. You can refuse, but I will have the second, tenth, and hundredth time."

He and him are really alike.But he, after all, is not.

Xie Yiran just closed his eyes, curled up in his arms and stopped talking.

The car accelerated for a while, slowed down, and finally stopped and stopped.

"Mr. Lu, there is a traffic jam in front of you during rush hour." An's short words also contained some anxiety.

"Open the door for me." Lu Jue said directly.

An immediately got out of the car and opened the car door, and saw Lu Jue directly carried Xie Yiran out, and then carried Xie Yiran on his back.

"Mr. Lu, what are you going to do?" An stopped him, worried: "You can't do this now! The doctor said that your heart still needs attention..."

Lu Jue was already walking through the still traffic with Xie Yiran on his back.

With Xie still on his back, he ran in the crowded and stalled countless vehicles: "Yiran, hold on for a while..."

Lu Jue gasped heavily, his face turned red, and he could feel his heart beating abnormally violently.

Xie was still on his back, with his chin resting on his shoulder in pain: "Lu Jue...do you understand the pain of being lost again?"

"……I know."

"You don't understand." Xie Yiran was silent for a while, not knowing whether it was pain or sadness, his voice began to tremble: "If you understand, why did you come to provoke me...why...you made me mistakenly think that you are Lu Heng coming back Yes, but it's not..."

"I won't let myself gain and lose again...so, I don't want to lose you..."

"You won't lose me...because you are not him, you never...never got..."

Lu Jue didn't speak anymore, he carried him behind his back and accelerated forward.The person on his back was actually a stubborn person.Now, he is by his side, but he will no longer belong to him.

My previous liking for him was not based on understanding.Until, when my elder brother passed away, when I sorted out his belongings, I saw the only thing he brought to the United States-seventeen diaries.

Every page is written with something related to Xie Yiran. The three words Xie Yiran appear on every page, tens of thousands of them, from the fourth grade of elementary school to the last page of the diary, a full 15 years.

From his diary, I understood Xie Yiran more clearly, understood that feeling, understood the relationship between them, and fell in love with the one that my brother had missed for 15 years, called Xie Yiran. people.

Lu Jue ran out of the highway with Xie Yiran on his back, and he endured the violent beating of his heart...

When carrying Xie Yiran out of the blocked road, the ambulance was already waiting at the intersection, and the doctors and nurses rushed to carry Xie Yiran into the cart.

An was also chasing from behind on high heels, and when seeing Xie Yiran being pushed into the ambulance, Lu Jue lost his strength in an instant and gradually fell down.

"Mr. Lu!" An went to support him.

Lu Jue covered his heart and panted violently, his tired eyes gradually closed on his pale and sweaty cheeks: "I'm like this... there's no need... to tell him..."

"Mr. Lu! Mr. Lu" An immediately raised his head and shouted: "...Doctor!"

Lu Jue fell to the ground, he felt the heart in his chest was about to jump out, about to suffocate, and it was about to get rid of himself.

He really wanted to tell him, still, in fact, I always remember you.

He still remembers that when he was in the third grade, his elder brother loved to play and make trouble, and he didn't think about studies, but he especially liked class, because he liked to peek at a boy in the class during class, and he could see the whole class.

I will also follow him to watch, look very carefully, maybe, that boy is too cute.

I will always remember that boy with big and bright eyes, quiet and gentle, he sat by the window, in the sunlight, his bangs looked so soft.

I thought it was because he was good-looking that I would take a closer look, after all, they were all boys.

He didn't dare to approach him, the boy was very quiet, and he just watched him silently from the "behind" of his brother.

But later, I met again, in the first year of junior high school.So I started to look at him every day like I did in elementary school, in a corner that he would never pay attention to.

Later I realized that it was not simply liking to watch, maybe it was a liking that was not allowed, it was a love that had no result but could not be stopped, it was until the moment my heart failed, because I didn’t express myself like that person. Forever sorry love.

But there was no other way, he already had a cheerful brother by his side.And at that time, I didn't know how long I could live?

Some love is not born at the right time, so there is no need to confess it. No one will ever know it existed until it disappears with death.

But the god ironically let me live again, this time... I really want to catch it.

The author has something to say:

Recently, I have been catching up with papers, so there are few updates, and... Tomorrow I have to hand in T_TT_TT_T... I have to break my knees first, so please bear with me T^T and sympathize with the children who are catching up with homework T^T So I stayed up late last night , so (^_^) double update today.