You are the sunny scenery in my heart

It has been five years since I separated from Zhou Ran. During these five years, I have never been in love again. I always feel that the relationship with Zhou Ran has never stopped.Until last night he called to tell me that he was getting married.The bride is a son of a high-ranking cadre, and he is in the same family as him.I just realized that I have been deceiving myself all along.I didn't say congratulations, I held the phone and listened to his breathing, and finally he let out a long sigh and said, "I still hope you can attend my wedding, because I want your blessing the most. Everyone else is irrelevant."

I can't comment, because I didn't think about whether I would have the courage to see him get together with other people, let alone imagine him kissing someone else.

Anxious in my heart, I always felt that even if we were separated, Zhou Ran must belong to me, and he doesn't love others.Now, I finally feel the feeling of reluctance, Zhou Ran, both in name and reality belong to someone else.After that, I have nothing to do with you.Why so heartache?It's been five years. Could it be that there is still hope for a revival of that relationship?

Zhou Ran asked me to meet his wife, but I refused, and he said, "Let's meet, it's just for eating and chatting."

OK, see you.

The most extravagant Rick Street, I walked up to the second floor alone with my chest held high. There are too many, come to Rick Street for a stroll if you have nothing to do.Be a high society person.

Zhou Ran and she have been waiting early, with friendly greetings and hugs as before.

The waiter came over and asked politely in a low voice, "Can I order?"

"Xiao Jing, what would you like to drink? Xiao An doesn't drink."

"Who said I don't drink, I want a bottle of 92 years old."

Zhou Ran looked at me in astonishment, as if he felt strange to me now.

From the day he said we broke up, I began to learn how to drink and how to get drunk, and I often became unconscious when I was drunk alone, and woke up the next day in a strange place.Don't know what happened before.

"Then what do you want to eat?"

"No need, I ate at home." Said to him very calmly.

Zhang Jing's face stretched out.

"How about that? How about just drinking? Is Kobe steak okay?"

I paused and said, "Have to eat? Then order me some popcorn."

Zhou Ran, Zhang Jing, and the waiter were all stunned, "Sir, we don't serve popcorn here."

I looked at the young waiter, "But I just want to eat this now!" She was so pitiful that she stood there awkwardly, neither advancing nor retreating.

"Okay, wait a minute, I'll go out and buy."

Zhang Jing gently grabbed Zhou Ran's arm, and Zhou Ran gently pushed it away with the other hand, "It's okay, I'll be right back." After finishing speaking, he put on his suit jacket and went downstairs.

Zhang Jing cowardly didn't dare to look at me, so I didn't care about her, I poured myself a glass of wine I ordered, and took a sip. It was so spicy that I wanted to cry, but I still held back and drank the whole glass.Very fragrant, spiciness and aroma carry through the entire esophagus, lingering.A person immersed in this stimulation and softness thought it could be permanent, but it still slowly dissipated, like a feeling.

When I was getting drunk, Zhou Ran walked in with a bucket of popcorn in front of everyone, and sat down calmly. Now he is used to being calm in times of crisis, and he can solve even tricky problems with ease.

Zhang Jing looked at him with reassurance.

I put one in my mouth, it was creamy, "I recently lost weight and can't eat butter, forget it, I don't need to change it, you can eat it, save waste." I pushed forward hard, but stubbornly Did not fall.

Any fool can see that I am embarrassing Zhou Ran, but it is impossible for Zhang Jing to know the reason why I do this.Of course I won't tell her.

After eating, Zhou Ran said that he wanted to go shopping together, after all, it had been a long time.

The corner of Rick Street, the playground in C City.

"Zhou Ran, let's go play on the carousel!" Zhang Jing said sweetly.

"Are you a three-year-old? Why don't you play Ridge?" I said.

The torrent rush at the corner of Rick Street is the most thrilling project in the entire playground, and the track setting can be described as crazy.

The moment Zhang Jing put on the seat belt, Zhang Jing was already full of reluctance. I wanted to be sure that Zhou Ran had vaccinated her before she was so taciturn.I don't care about her, the purpose of coming today is to let Zhou Ran know that I hate him very much.

When the boat we were in swam to the highest point, Zhou Ran hugged the shouting Zhang Jing tightly. At that moment, I suddenly realized that what I did now was so ridiculous. Now Zhou Ran is the husband of a woman , will be the father of the child in the future.And I was the most insignificant person in his life. My love was insignificant, so my hatred for him, naturally, also became insignificant.There is no status, no one agrees, and no one blesses, even if it is perfunctory.

The boat swooped down, which was very exciting. During the whole process, I only heard Zhang Jing's yelling as if her parents were dead.

When I came down, my whole body was soaked, and I sat on the wooden chair to dry, and no one spoke.It seems that I am not surprised.

"I'm going to buy a drink."

I stopped Zhou Ran: "I'll go, you stay with her." I said this sincerely, because I understood what Zhou Ran really needed, and since I love him, I will satisfy him.

Looking up at Zhou Ran, there seemed to be a trace of guilt in his eyes, whether it was due to illusion or the light.

"How many bottles do you want?"

"Three bottles!" When I was withdrawing money, I saw the photo with Zhou Ran in my wallet, and my heart felt warm, and I said to the boss: "No, thank you."

When I got home, I sent Zhou Ran a WeChat message to tell him to leave early because the company had something to do.And want to see them happy.

Then delete the WeChat app, lie on the bed, still drunk, and gradually fall asleep.

This morning, when I was playing a mobile game, I suddenly found that my nails were already very long, so I hurriedly searched around, trying to find the nail clippers I had been using all along.

I finally found it in the corner of an inconspicuous drawer. When I saw it, I couldn't help but think of a person who gave it to me that year.

I forgot what holiday it was, Zhou Ran begged me to go out to play, the two sat together intimately, I leaned on his shoulder, pretending to be motion sick.He protects me like his own child, sometimes touching my head and sometimes holding my hand tightly.I want to be meticulous, but I am afraid of disturbing me, so I keep being cautious.

With my eyes closed, Wei Wei felt a little itchy fingertips, opened my eyes reluctantly, saw Zhou Ran's watery eyes, looked at me with a smile, and said, "I still woke you up!" Zhou Ran raised my ring finger with his left hand, and my right hand Use nail clippers to clip on the nails.

"what happened?"

"I see that your nails are long. I thought about cutting them shorter, but I woke you up!"

Zhou Ran looked at me with a face full of remorse, and I buried my head in his chest, "Cut it off!"

From that day on, this nail clipper has been with me, but now I discard it casually, just like a relationship, which is as heartless as being discarded by another person.

Unexpectedly, Zhou Ran called me and informed me to attend his wedding.He said he cared about my blessings, hehe, if he really cared...

Instead of arguing with him, she agreed obediently. There is no love or debt in the current relationship with him. It is just two people who know each other very well and need to be courteous.I will attend his wedding openly and aboveboard.

The luxurious second floor of Rick Street, the entire second floor, was booked by him, full of guests and friends.Looking far away, there is no shadow of Zhou Ran, nor the shadow of that woman.

I was caught by my classmates in high school, dragged over to drink, and complained that I was famous for writing a book, but everyone forgot about it.I forced myself to smile back, thinking to myself, in high school, except for Zhou Ran, who of you looked at me?Now one by one pretends to be as familiar with me as a persimmon.

Disdain.Still looking for Zhou Ran by himself.

It stands to reason that he should be glamorous today, more energetic than every time I saw him before.Because today is his big day, what other occasion needs to be neat and bright?

Finally, amidst the cheers of everyone, Zhou Ran and his best man walked into the hall together. They must be waiting for the bride!With a smile on his face, Zhou Ran stepped on the red carpet at the pace of the music, bowed to everyone present, said thanks, and his eyes were like detectors, searching around for something.Suddenly the four eyes met in the air not far away, and the two of them froze at the same time, the words of blessing that had been brewing for a long time were blocked in their throats, and they could not utter a single word.Just a symbolic nod.

When "The Bride Is Coming" was played, the heart that hung in my heart thumped to the ground, and the extravagant hope that Zhou Ran was joking just now was shattered, everything was changing subtly, not easily noticed.Everyone stood up to applaud the talented couple and congratulate them.The wedding invited a not-so-well-known host to preside over it, and there was a lot of chatter, I sat down quietly, picked up the wine in front of me, and drank it in one gulp.

The classmates around me looked at me with unbelievable eyes. It seemed that my behavior was too shocking. A man who was so drunk because of another man’s marriage was more likely to feel unreasonable. I In this embarrassment, I walked with Zhou Ran for seven years.In comparison, I have been relaxed during the five years apart, and I don't have to worry about being discovered by someone and disgusted all the time.

Before I knew it, Zhou Ran took the bride to the table to toast. There were many people, but they came to my place soon. Zhou Ran didn't say anything. He drank a cup first, let the bride fill it up again, and said, "An Ji, thank you for coming. After finishing speaking, he finished it again, and the bride filled another glass. Zhou Ran continued: "This glass of wine is for you. When you get married, you must notify me." He drank it all up again.I froze there like a log, and sat down without drinking the wine in my hand.Someone seemed to blame me for my rudeness, Zhou Ran had already walked over to toast others, and I just sat here and poured myself a drink.

Everyone returns to their own world, picks their own food and delivers it to their own mouths.Everyone has to maintain their bodily functions and live for themselves.

Zhou Ran is the same, in fact, I am also the same.Just like just now, I have been able to face Zhou Ran calmly and face him doing anything in front of me.After all, the two have been separated for five years. After all, I have gradually gotten used to it. Before I came here, I was still worried whether I hadn't let go or whether my obsession was too deep to be peaceful, but look. Come on, I'm not that paranoid either.Maybe it was what Zhou Ran said to me at that time that made me realize what it means to continue even if I cannot help myself, and what it means to grow.The growth Zhou Ran said is not about learning to do what one likes, but knowing what should be done and doing it well with heart.

It seems that I have grown up, and grown very proudly.

I sat on the seat, watching Zhou Ran having fun with the bride and the host, a smile burst out from the bottom of my heart, yes, for Zhou Ran, I am just someone I once had It's just that, in his life, I am no longer the protagonist. Maybe he still loves me, but he has a family, has responsibilities, needs to manage, and has days to take care of.He still needs to fulfill his ideals, starting a family and starting a career, both are indispensable.Maybe he doesn't love the woman in front of him, but he knows that the road ahead requires them to be like each other and walk hand in hand.Later, they will have a child, and they will have a lovely child who will grow up ignorantly, under the care of Zhou Ran and the woman in front of him, and Zhou Ran will run around for this child, just like Back then, it was as if he was willing to run around for me, the same willingness, willingness to do so.

Before the banquet was over, I borrowed the bathroom to leave directly, not because I couldn't bear to see Zhou Ran and the bride's affectionate relationship, and I couldn't find an excuse to stay any longer.If you are really happy, you don't need other people's blessings.

Afterwards, Zhou Ran blamed me for leaving first. He said that there were still many things I hadn't eaten, many things I hadn't seen, and many things I wanted to say to me, but I hadn't heard them.I said: "In front of our relationship, you left first, and I took five years to accept it. I left your wedding first to let you know that we can finally owe nothing to each other."