You are the sunny scenery in my heart

Gao Ze's girlfriend is a very refreshing person, chatting with her for a while, knowing that Gao Ze is lucky to know her.She likes children as much as Gao Ze, and she is very happy to play with Xiao Jian.

But she seemed to be a very traditional girl, and when it was still dark, she urged Gao Ze to send her home quickly.

At night, after Xiaojian fell asleep, Gao Ze returned to the sofa in the living room.In fact, he could have gone to sleep in the guest room, but he said: "If there is any accident at night, I can rush into your room as soon as possible."

After several twists and turns, when we met, he was still willing to send me a touch that I could barely bear, but it's a pity that I was too cowardly to reciprocate.

I had insomnia that night, so I quietly walked into Gao Ze’s study. I knew that his books and periodicals were full of high artistic attainments. Seeing "Farewell Song" in a prominent position, the scattered memory fragments were seamlessly reassembled in an instant, becoming the most willing to miss in my mind.

That was when I was still with Gao Ze. I went to a bookstore once and felt that the title of this book was a bit sad. People have no resistance to sad stories, so I bought it home.It happened that Gao Ze hinted that it was his birthday that day. When I was at a loss, I saw this book on the desk before, and it immediately became a birthday gift that Gao Ze liked very much.So far he doesn't know that I am a person who is very insensitive to numbers. Except for my parents and sister, I will even forget my own birthday.

I read it with relish, there is an unremarkable girl in it, a person who is afraid that she is not worthy of being loved and has been working hard all the time, which inexplicably arouses my deep thinking.Am I worthy of being loved?What is charming about me?What does Zhou Ran love me for?What does Lao Zhang love me?Gao Ze loves me again?Is it just a unique face?For a person in his thirties, without a job and without any skills, is it an unspeakable embarrassment?If you dare not pretend to be a kind and upright person, then even your character cannot be used as the basis for being loved.So from head to toe, I deeply felt that I was worthless.

I looked at Xiao Jian, Zhou Ran's child with someone else.If you don't say anything, no one will know. I hate it.In order to let Zhou Ran understand how much I love him, I played a role like a nanny, using my self-confident love to tell the world how generous I am.It's just that in the dead of night, I faced him alone, and the reluctance deep in my heart was still captured by myself.Poor me, I thought we could make up a romantic enough three-person world, but it was just my wishful thinking, and as the protagonist, I have gradually failed to make it so beautiful, so what excuse is there to flog Zhou Ran in the cold?

Gao Ze's footsteps came from outside the door, from far to near, it seemed to stop at the door.

I wanted to ask him to come in, but seeing Xiaojian sleeping so sweetly, I decided to go out.

Sure enough, when he opened the door, he saw Gao Ze standing outside in surprise.When I closed the door, I noticed that his feet were bare, "It's so cold, I don't wear slippers."

He was embarrassed, scratched the back of his head and said, "I'm afraid I'll disturb you."

The two sat side by side on the sofa, and the sound of the TV was very low.

"Gao Ze, why did you like me back then?"

He was overwhelmed by my question, scratched his head for a long time, and replied hesitantly: "I like you, I like you! Why are you asking this?"

"I don't know why my submissive appearance deserves to be loved by others!"

"An Ji, don't think so, you are noble, no one in this world is qualified to truly love you."

I turned my face to the side, Gao Ze under the fluorescent light of the TV had the word serious written neatly on his face.But he gave such a ridiculous answer.

I smiled helplessly and sipped the cold orange juice in front of me.

Saying goodbye to Gao Ze, he didn't force him to stay, he knew that I didn't belong here, so these few days were an unexpected encounter.It's like frozen cherries in the refrigerator, taste it and know it's sour.

Maybe Zhou Ran didn't expect that I would come back so calmly. He probably thought that he would at least need to kneel on the ground and make a promise to me ten thousand times that he would never ignore me in the future.Yes, I used to be able to do such a thing.However, the "Farewell Song" that night has already pulled me out of the occluded tube-like life, telling me that time is fleeting, if the absurdity of life is just living for others, life and non-life, existence and non-existence, it doesn't matter different.

Zhou Ran looked at me dully, and in his hesitant eyes, I saw a humble gesture, which was mine, and it was naked in his pupils that made people feel angry.During my absence, Zhou Ran didn't seem to have caused any disasters.

Maybe he has already guessed that I live with Gao Ze, or maybe in his mind, which has long been anesthetized by alcohol, he keeps fantasizing about the things that Gao Ze and I may do outside of human relations.So, in his world, what kind of person am I?How much do I really care about in his heart?Are those sweet words of his just an excuse to play with me when he is in a good mood? Did he regard me as a singing bird at that time?He teased me with words, and I responded excitedly, and he was satisfied as expected.

After Zhou Ran went to work, I went to see his mother.

His mother has really changed, she has become ascetic.Who's to say it's not a good thing?

"Maybe what you said was right at the beginning, we may not be so qualified to be together."

Zhou Ran's mother looked at me in surprise, "What do you want to do?"

I told her that I plan to leave Zhou Ran for a period of time, and if we still love each other as before after this period of time, we will be together again. If another person walks together, then we will travel alone in the end of the world.

In the end, I entrusted Xiaojian to her. A woman, no matter how poor she is, will become stronger because of her children. This is the power of maternal love.

Suddenly I understood Zhou Ran's mood when he left without saying goodbye, it was very refreshing and joyful.

Xin Jing heard that I have been fussing at Gao Ze's house for the past two days.

"He's a guy who has girlfriends now."

"You two won't..."

I shook my head in embarrassment.

"Actually, I came to say goodbye to you. I used the few days I was away from home to reconsider my present and my future. I don't think I will stop at 30 years old. I want a higher evaluation. I'm going to wandering."

I have tried to think that my venture this time was unsuccessful, and then one day under a streetlight, I saw Zhou Ran's familiar face, and he said: "What's the use of chasing fame and fortune? Stay with me, don't you?" Do you need to work hard? Just take care of your beauty.” At that time, I lacked determination and relied more on Zhou Ran.