through those heavy years

It is true that I am no longer Wang Xiaodong who just arrived in the city six years ago, and I have no time to worry about this outfit.I just got out of the prison with only a few fifty cents on my body. I was so hungry that I couldn't even eat a bowl of noodles.What I am currently facing is to find a job as soon as possible.And I have no requirements for work as if I have just arrived, as long as I can fill my stomach.I thought that I used to be a chef, and I felt a sense of security in my heart. Fortunately, I was not useless.

I don't look at any job advertisements, look for a restaurant, and walk in shabby.Some waiters can tell at a glance that I am not here to consume when they see my old-fashioned attire.They didn't have a straight face, they just asked me who to ask for or if I need help?I said, I want to apply for a job as a chef.They looked at the other waiters blankly and said that we don't seem to be recruiting chefs here, you are looking for the wrong place.Don't bother with me after talking, and go about your own business.I stood awkwardly for a while, then left helplessly.Then, still with a shy face, I asked several companies.Fortunately, there are a few companies that need people. They took me directly to the lobby manager for an interview. The lobby manager sat in front of me solemnly, stared at me for a long time, smiled contemptuously, and asked, do you have a senior chef certificate?I shake my head.Ask again, do you have a certificate of graduation from the relevant school?I shake my head.Then he immediately said to me, sorry, we don't recruit apprentices here.I hurriedly said, I am not an apprentice, I can cook.He smiled and said that anyone knows how to stir-fry, no matter how unpalatable it is when the stir-fry is cooked, we need to recruit those who have a red book to prove that they have learned it, understand!

Their time seems to be very precious. Before I can reply a word, they pat their ass and leave.The successive frustrations made me feel very depressed. I didn't expect to find a job, it was so difficult.

But I say everything must find a job.I went to many restaurants, large and small, to try my luck.Among them is a food stall. The proprietress is about 40 years old. There are no wrinkles on her face, and she is well maintained.She was polite and kind to me, with a big smile on her face.She said: "We don't need any red books here, as long as the food is delicious and the work is efficient. The salary is not necessarily worse than that of a big restaurant."

She took me to the kitchen and asked me to show her my hand.I am already grateful for giving me a chance to show off here without being swept away.But I haven't held a spatula for four years, and my hands are shaking a little.I cheered myself up and told myself that I must seize this opportunity. If I didn't seize this opportunity, I would have nowhere to go at night, and I would continue to be hungry.

Fortunately, I didn't completely forget what the fat man taught me.Groping through previous memories, as well as some recipe books I studied in prison, I successfully completed a good dish.The proprietress said that she smelled the fragrance, tasted it, and she was full of praise, saying that it really has real kung fu.

It is a kind of happiness to be affirmed by others. I looked at the proprietress very sincerely, hoping to give full play to my strengths here.

The proprietress asked me, "The cooking is so delicious, where did you work before?"

I replied vaguely: "I used to work at Xiangju Yipin."

The proprietress said: "That's a big place, why didn't you do it, come to me."

As she spoke, she printed the paperwork and asked me to fill out the contract.

I struggled a bit in my heart, and finally felt that I couldn't lie, so I answered honestly: "I'm in jail!"

"Prison?" The landlady's smile faded suddenly, and she looked at me in shock.

Nervous by her reaction, I nodded, "Yes, I've been to prison."

"Oh!" The proprietress quickly put away the contract that was placed in front of me, "Sorry, we don't need a chef here!"

She was still smiling just now, but when she heard "Prison", her face immediately turned cold like turning the pages of a book.I said emphatically, "I'm not a bad person, I've reformed myself."

She bowed her head and ignored me, deliberately ignoring my existence.I continued, "I need this job badly, please do me a favor."

She said "Oh" and waved impatiently: "Let's go, let's go, there are a few good people in prison."

Sad and sad, I walked out of the food stall without losing my temper.Having been in prison will be a label that I will never get rid of for the rest of my life. I have done myself too badly, so it is no wonder that others look disgusted.

I tried several food stalls one after another. When it was said that I had been in prison, everyone's reaction and expression were the same.Honesty is sometimes a sharp knife stabbed at oneself.The painful thing is not how many years you have been in prison, but when you find out that after you are released from prison, there is no corner in this world that can accommodate you.Hitting the wall hit me badly. Thinking of my grandma, would I react just as strongly? Can sin really be given time to baptize?

It's already very late, but in the city's night view, there is never darkness.I was desperate to find a job today, drank some natural water at night, and wandered feebly in a snack street.The smell of skewered meat pervades my body and seduces every cell of hunger and excitement. Hunger can make a person lose his basic morals and emotions, and only the singing of hunger and hunger can be heard in his mind.I also suffered from hunger when I was a child, and with my uncle and aunt's family, I often couldn't eat.At that time, I was very stubborn, always hungry when I was hungry, and never cried out.Now that I am hungry, I feel weak all over, so my arrogance and stubbornness seem to succumb to the ground, begging others for some food.

There is really a special bucket on the side of the snack street, which holds some kebabs that extravagant people can't finish.Some beggars, even those who don't look like beggars, rushed to hug each other first to pick them up and eat them.I was shocked to see this phenomenon. No matter how the times progress and the quality of life improves, the number of poor people in this society is still increasing.

Even if your hungry chest sticks to your back, you don't have to ask others for alms.I still haven't been able to pick up food from the bucket like they do.Because I'm afraid of losing face, afraid that people I don't know will laugh at me.I have always been cowardly, even if the cowardly starve to death, I would still take my face into consideration.

Suddenly remembered Fatty.The note with the phone number on it has always been kept by my side.After hesitating for a few minutes, he still picked up his steps and went to the phone booth to make a call.After the call was made, what came out of the receiver was——The phone number you dialed is empty, please check and dial again.

I put down the receiver in frustration. This is the only friend I haven't seen for nearly five years.I don't know if he still remembers what he said back then, his home is there, if you want to find him, you are welcome at any time.

Find out where you used to work.The staff seems to have changed completely, and there is no familiar face to be found.The restaurant has also been newly renovated, and there is no trace of the old one.Try asking someone who seems to know you as well as you can if you know the fat man's new contact information.But after Fatty left here, he never went back.I could only come out with infinite disappointment, and then groped my way to his house.The road to his house has also changed. There are several towering buildings surrounding it, dividing the original main road into intricate small roads.Finally, after trying to find his house with great difficulty, the door of his house has been closed tightly, and no one responded to the knock on the door for a long time.

It was already twelve o'clock in the evening, and most of the residents had gone to sleep.I had nowhere to go, so I squatted at the door of Fatty's house to rest overnight, mosquitoes were flying around, and the corridor was so dark that I couldn't see my fingers.

Hungry, bitterly hungry, so hungry that I couldn't close my eyes and rest for a while.I can only drive away the mosquitoes in the torment, and watch the sky slowly become brighter with my eyes open.

After one night, neither the fat man nor the fat man's parents came back.Whether they lost relatives, or moved, or something happened, nothing is known.Feeling lost, she got up and wanted to leave, when an aunt who lived above was going to the street to buy vegetables, she passed by her down the stairs, and couldn't help asking, "Young man, are you looking for someone?"

I looked at the aunt and nodded.I look like I came from a remote mountain area to join relatives.

"Then who are you looking for?" Auntie asked.

"Fatty!" She didn't understand, I realized and said quickly: "Yang Shun, I'm looking for Yang Shun!"

"Oh!" The aunt suddenly realized, "Xiao Shunzi, no one has known him for a long time!"

I was surprised that something happened, and I asked, "Did something happen?"

The aunt said: "He took drugs. I don't know whether he died outside or was locked up in a drug rehabilitation center. In short, his parents also moved away, and there is no news from the family!"

"Oh!" I didn't know how to digest information like this for a while, and my head became dull. I don't know if it's because of the life of the prison machine for a long time, and the degeneration of human emotions, or because there are too many such messages, numbness Had the proper reaction.Only after taking a deep breath did I feel a trace of coldness.

Auntie saw that I didn’t seem to believe it, so she said emphatically: “It’s true. It’s absolutely true. Once he became a drug addict and asked his parents to pay for drugs. The knife was going to kill his parents. It was a big mess, and we were all present in the building. Later, he called the police. He heard that the police were coming, so he refused to give up, threw the knife and ran away. His parents were crying to death, and we shed a lot of tears when we saw the sad look. His parents were afraid that this kind of thing would happen again, so they moved. I heard that they went back to their hometown, but I don’t know the details. In short, they will not come back Yes. Hey, if you talk about drugs, it’s really harmful. Once bad luck gets involved, people will be completely ruined, lose their minds, and go crazy. Thinking of how cute and lively Xiao Shunzi used to be, he will also become That!"

"Then why does he take drugs?" I asked stupidly.

The aunt thought for a while, and said: "It seems to be for weight loss, everyone is talking about it. He is too fat, ugly, and wants to lose weight. But no matter how hard I try, exercise, diet, I try every means. It didn’t work. Later, I didn’t know where I heard that taking drugs can help you lose weight, so I tried it boldly, but I became addicted to drugs, and I couldn’t quit.”