living guilt

41.

Shu Can was sitting next to Shi Chen's hospital bed late at night when she would wake up tomorrow morning, repeatedly looking at the enhanced CT and MRI. Don't see his edematous head even if he has a large lesion.

In this way, maybe he can still have a little hope, and like all the family members of terminally ill patients, look forward to a miracle.

He really hated Shi Chen, and didn't like Shi Chen.

But it was so painful that everyone told him to go to sleep, but he couldn't close his eyes at all.

The people in the dream all had two identical faces, one on the front and one on the back. When he kissed Shi Chen, he touched Shi Yun's tearful face, and when he shouted for Shi Yun not to leave, Shi Chen also closed his eyes. Eye.

Shu Can didn't think he was repenting, and he didn't like Shi Chen, so why did he repent.

He just couldn't control it, couldn't control the details that would be evoked.

Shi Chen was still the liar who played hard to get, and put a long line to catch big fish.

Shu Can regretted so much, regretted that when she saw Shi Chenduan sitting upright in the lobby of the Central Hospital, slightly carrying a big bag of stuffed bread, she turned around and left without looking away. Frightened and ran away without a trace.Why did he still chase after him, why did he check every surveillance camera around, why did he go back to that damn old house and wait for him to come back.

Shi Chen is not Shi Yun, even if he calls Shi Chen a thousand or ten thousand times, he is not Shi Yun.

He was just Shi Chen, the Shi Chen he didn't like.

He would not feel sorry for the crooked hand that was tied to the detention center and covered with bruises, nor would he feel sorry for the body that couldn't walk in a straight line, fell to the ground and couldn't get up for a long time, and he wouldn't feel so sorry for Jingui that he wouldn't even have a private room. Shi Chen, who can make the sound of a dog eating even after eating a few slices of bread.

How could he be distressed?He only likes Shiyun.

But all the scenes he had made up about how Shi Yun died tragically in that car accident were being wiped out one by one by Shi Chen's expressions in every frame.

Shu Can is very difficult, he wants to catch up with Shi Chen's time, but also has another self who is yelling at him not to let him forget.

42.

Shu Can had just changed clothes and wiped her face when Wu Min knocked on the door and came in to tell him that Shi Chen was awake.

See, he really did it on purpose.

43.

Wu Min didn't know how to tell Shi Chen that he would soon shave his dark and thick hair and give him a biopsy.

With her hands in the pockets of her white coat, Shu Can stood not far from the end of the bed and looked at Shi Chen with the same cool look on her face.

Shi Chen's body was connected to a urinary catheter, and repeated tossing and turning could not heal the incision. Every time he coughed, he should not feel comfortable.

Wu Min pressed the switch to raise his bed a little bit, Shi Chen reached out and pressed his chest, swallowing hard, he was very thin, but the little baby fat on his face was still there, he looked very young, with big eyes When he looked over, Wu Min confirmed that he didn't remember himself.

Shi Chen looked at Shu Can who was standing coldly at the other end, then slowly turned his head and hoarsely said to Wu Min that he wanted to drink water, and asked if he could have some water.

Wu Min came in with warm water, and Shu Can took it with a straw and swept him out.

Fearing that Shi Chen would be too thirsty to drink too much water, Shu Can raised the straw a lot, so that he could only drink a few sips of water, and he didn't explain. Seeing Shi Chen's wet lips, looking at the cup eagerly, he felt very sad.

"hungry."

"I'm not hungry."

"You slept for three days, how could you not be hungry?"

Shi Chen was very helpless, he realized that his incision was a little painful, he half-lyed on the bed and responded, "Okay, then be hungry."

Hungry and unable to eat anything, Shu Can turned on the TV for him to watch, Shi Chen could not hold on after watching it for a while, and moved around sleepily.

"What's the matter?" Shu Can held his wrist, Shi Chen was a little surprised by his touch, then frowned a little awkwardly and said that he was a little nauseous and dizzy watching TV.

44,

Shu Can didn't say anything about the biopsy. Shi Chen looked very tired. He was coughing all the time, and his body temperature didn't drop after the operation. The oncologist said it was normal. Shu Can was still afraid of bleeding or infection, so he rarely took the initiative. talk to him.

He called Chen Zhiping, and Chen Zhiping went to the central hospital to find out the reason why Shi Chen went to the hospital that day.

He had gone for blood work and tests that day, and it looked more like it was for leukemia.But was scared away by Shu Can, and did not see the report.

When Shi Chen fell asleep, Shu Can carefully touched his forehead and hair. Shi Chen's cheeks were as soft as the lotus root arms he held in his hands when he was a child. Soft, nice, but Shichen..

Shi Chen refused to open his eyes, he said that opening them would make him dizzy.

Wu Min told him, do you remember that one day when he came to the hospital to see a doctor, he was hit by something, his hand was also smashed, and his head was swollen.

Shu Can looked at Wu Min and Shi Chen suspiciously.

Shi Chen said he remembered.

Wu Min lied to him and said, "It hit your head that time. There was a blood clot in your brain, which compressed the optic nerve. You will always feel dizzy. You should remove it as soon as possible."

Shu Can didn't know when he was hit on the head, and was stunned for a while. After looking at him, Shi Chen asked Wu Min if he wanted to spend a lot of money. Seeing that Shu Can didn't speak, Wu Min was silent for a while.

Shi Chen smiled and said, "It's not very dizzy."

45.

Shi Chen actually has very beautiful toes and fingers. On the day he was brought back, Shu Can couldn't bear his ugly clothes, rotten pants and dirty shoes, so she threw him into the shopping mall to buy clothes.

Shu Can gave him a card and waited for him in the underground parking lot for 10 minutes.When I went upstairs to find him, I found him sitting on the lounge chair opposite the piano row.

Because he didn't buy anything and wasted nearly an hour, Shu Can scolded him severely.Recently, I slowly remembered that what he was watching was the piano.On the day when Shi Chen was taken to have his head broken, Shu Can couldn't stay in the hospital, and he couldn't sit at home, so he went to that shopping mall by a strange coincidence, and sat for a while at the place where Shi Chen sat that day. , suddenly raised his foot and walked into the piano shop.

The piano that Shi Chen looked at that day was Shi Chen's piano, and it was auctioned here, and Shi Chen looked at it from a distance for four or ten minutes.

Shu Can left the shopping mall as if fleeing, and went to the basement through the fire escape stairs, not even wanting to apologize for bumping into someone.

The man seemed to have called him.

But Shu Can didn't respond.That voice sounded very similar to Shi Yun, and he was afraid to think of Shi Yun recently.

46.

If an unimportant but good-looking person was seriously ill, Shu Can would not advise her to undergo chemotherapy. In his outlook on life, he would not be willing to receive chemotherapy even if he was seriously ill. It's a mess to destroy people, and it's not decent to die.

When he saw Shi Chen being pushed out, it was obvious that he was under anesthesia, and Shu Can felt that he was dying. At that time, he thought, not only chemotherapy, radiotherapy or surgery, even if all these things were put on, as long as he could If you survive, it doesn't matter how ugly you are.

Shi Chen underwent operations continuously, he moved to the ward unconsciously before he woke up, the monitor was shaken unsteadily by him, Xiao Wu would go to the window to see him when he had time, he sighed in his spare time Inexplicably, Shi Chen said to Shu Can that it should be more painful.

When he was on duty at night and passed by the intensive care unit, the nurse on duty also peeked through the window. Dr. Shu leaned on the hospital bed, holding a stack of medical records on his bent leg to sign, and firmly hugged the patient with the other hand. Sleeping peacefully with the poor bald man in his arms.

47.

On the day of the diagnosis, Shu Can was calm for a while, excited for a while, and then calmed down again soon.

The pain he thought didn't come to the appointment, and Shu Can even accidentally fell asleep for a while while leaning on the chair and looking up at the ceiling.

He didn't tell Shi Chen, "You have cancer, it can't be any later than the advanced stage."

He wasn't going to tell him either.

But he had a dream. In the dream, Shichen's bald head had the scars from the operation very conspicuously. He was sitting on the parapet of the building. Shu Can wanted to tell him not to blow the wind. He turned his head and asked, "Are you caring about me?" "

Shu Can opened her mouth to speak, her throat seemed to be clogged with sand, Shi Chen laughed loudly, "But I'm about to die."

48.

Shu Can didn't go home for many days, Shi Chen had good times and bad times, Shu Can couldn't make up his mind to let Shi Chen undergo chemotherapy.But like the director of oncology said, his progress is very fast.

That day Shichen removed the abdominal thread, and the new male nurse at the nurse's station was very enthusiastic and took him for a short walk. Wu Min told him that Shichen accidentally fell while walking.Shu Can immediately left the patient and went out to look for it.

On the way, he met someone with Shi Chen.He sprayed the new male nurse with scolding blood, and yelled until he burst into tears on the spot.

When he nervously checked Shi Chen's wound, Shi Chen asked in fear, "You...what did you call me..."

"Shi Chen."

Shi Chen shook his head in confusion, his expression was not pretending at all, but he carefully confirmed to Shu Can, "I'm not... called Shi Yun..."

Everyone in the hospital knew that that afternoon, the 1.8-meter-old surgical director was the most famous in the whole hospital. Cry worse than anyone else.