four year itch

【Your eyebrows and smiles made me sick for a while/the heat faded/give me back my lonely health】[1]

Ye Jia was unhurried and resolute, with a smile on his mouth, but his eyes were already stained with sadness. He is now personally ending his reckless youth and burying his unhesitating first love with his own hands. He has not yet Strong enough to be indifferent to it.

"Rui Bai, I'm not 20 years old anymore, I won't be excited because you let me know the plot earlier, and I won't feel that I treat you differently because you adopted my suggestion. I'm tired of the scene of slapping and giving another candy." Ye Jia paused, tried his best to calm down, and then said, "I already...don't like candy."

Feelings are like desserts, which are obviously harmful and useless. Just because they give you a little sweetness when you are lonely, you are willing to bear the aging of the face and organ diseases caused by sugar.And quitting feelings is like quitting sugar. As long as you don't be tempted by the sweetness of desire, you can naturally escape from the bitterness of desire.

"Rui Bai, I'm going home."

"Ye Jia..." Xu Ruibai found out that his voice was trembling when he spoke. He was so afraid, as if he could feel that something important was moving away.

Ye Jia didn't give him a chance to continue. He was too considerate, and even wanted to say goodbye in the least embarrassing way: "Although we didn't seem to have really started, I still want to tell you solemnly. bid farewell."

Xu Ruibai subconsciously took a step back, as if he was resisting what Ye Jia was going to say next.

He still heard Ye Jia's voice: "Rui Bai, let's not contact each other again."

After he finished speaking, he let out a sigh, and this long sigh seemed to swallow his own life.

A big dream, four years of absurdity, and now I wake up from the dream, leaving a panic.

Xu Ruibai froze in place, his face full of bewilderment, he never imagined the possibility that Ye Jia would leave him one day, and he didn't know how to respond to such a farewell.

Ye Jia looked at him, and suddenly felt that he was a little pitiful, but she still made up her mind and turned around and said, "I still have to pack my luggage. If there is nothing else, you can go back."

This was the first time he was ordered to leave. A trace of embarrassment flashed in his eyes, and then he regained his composure: "Go back? I'm in my house now."

"?" Ye Jia looked back at him in disbelief, thinking that she had heard wrong.

"The one who wants to go back is you." Xu Ruibai said coldly.

Ye Jia never thought that Xu Ruibai would show such an unreasonable side. Maybe this is the most real side of Xu Ruibai. There is no essential difference between him and Xu Ling. With that bit of pride in being superior to others, once someone sweeps away their upper-class "face" a little bit, they will spare no effort to suppress them, and they will not give up until they hurt their heads and blood.

He looked at Xu Ruibai, and felt that he was strange and ridiculous, and the wavering he had just now disappeared completely.

He sneered and said: "I am very sorry that I have occupied your house without knowing it all these years. If you need it, you can send me the bill, and I will definitely pay you the rent. But now I would like to trouble you to allow one more day, so that I can pack my luggage and get out as soon as possible."

Xu Ruibai looked at him for a few seconds, finally lost from the indifference in Ye Jia's eyes, turned and left.

Ye Jia stubbornly looked at the closed door, and it took a while to recover, and sat down on the sofa on the side tiredly, it turned out that maintaining the appearance of bluff would be so tiring.

This was his only victory in the long tug-of-war with Xu Ruibai over the years, when he decided not to love him anymore.

You can win him only if you don't love him.

So is love a game destined to lose, either you lose yourself or the other party.

Xu Ruibai didn't leave either. In the cold draft of the corridor, he smoked one cigarette after another, wondering what he was thinking.

Not long after Xu Ruibai left, Shen Qingchuan sent a message asking Ye Jia where the dinner appointment was, and he was about to get off work.Ye Jia quickly collected his emotions, sent the location of the restaurant, and hurried over by himself, not noticing anything strange in the corridor.

When Shen Qingchuan saw him, he stroked his chin and looked around, before concluding: "Are you in a good mood?"

Ye Jia blinked her eyes twice and asked, "Is there any?"

Shen Qingchuan smiled without saying a word, lowered his head and took a bite of the food in front of him.

Ye Jia also laughed, and said with some embarrassment: "Maybe I figured out something."

Shen Qingchuan joked: "Then I hope that you will figure out something every day, so that my dinner will be settled in the future."

As soon as this remark came out, both of them laughed. As smart as Shen Qingchuan, he probably guessed that it must have something to do with that Mr. Xixifeng, but he still asked calmly, "Tell me? What did you figure out?" What's wrong?"

"Hmm..." Ye Jia took a deep breath, "I'm resigning! I'm going home."

Shen Qingchuan's smile froze on his face, and he asked in surprise, "Why so suddenly?"

Ye Jia frowned, thought for a few seconds, and said with a smile, "Suddenly? No."

"Actually, I knew from the very beginning that I was not suitable for this job or this city. I just insisted on staying here, trying to grab something that didn't belong to me." Ye Jia buried her head and sighed softly. As if resigned to fate, he whispered, "In the end, I didn't hold on to anything, but was held tightly by everything."

"Jacques Rancière." Shen Qingchuan's voice sounded above his head.

"?" Ye Jia suddenly looked up at him, his face full of disbelief, as if to say, how do you know?

However, Shen Qingchuan calmly picked up a tissue and wiped the corners of his mouth, and said slowly, ""After Time", didn't you just say something in this book?"

What Ye Jia just said was indeed taken from this book. This is a film review written by Rancière for Bella Tarr. It is a work borrowed to explain the meaning of time. Rancière's writing is really charming and poetic.

In his book, he wrote, "A closed circle is always open."

Ye Jia likes this book very much, but unfortunately, philosophy related can only be a product of a minority, so when he heard Shen Qingchuan mention the name of this book, he was not surprised.

"Xiaojia, as I said, we are similar people. I knew it from the first time I met you. We will have endless topics to talk about. I am honored that you are willing to share your joy with me today." Under Ye Jia's surprised eyes, Shen Qingchuan gently grabbed his hand, with a smile on his face, affectionate and sincere, "Have you ever thought that maybe you are not suitable for this city, but just not suitable for that person."

[1] Excerpted from Mu Xin's Eyebrows