four year itch

[This is a kind of poor pride in human nature, everyone always thinks that he is more unfortunate than another unfortunate person who is crying and moaning beside him][1]

A flash of white light split the vast night sky, followed by deafening thunder, tearing apart the tranquility of the night, the overwhelming storm eroded the ground, and the raindrops slammed on the window aggressively, making a crackling sound, disturbing the entire city. Garden moonlight.

The vigorous summer is getting closer and closer in this heavy rain, and the hot summer is coming again.

Ye Jia hadn't slept soundly at all, woke up from the midnight thunder, and opened his eyes suddenly.He found himself being hugged by Xu Ruibai, with Alpha's strong arms across his waist.His heart felt hot, and he moved his body cautiously, trying to get out of the opponent's arms, but the arm lying on him suddenly exerted force, almost forcefully, and pulled him back again.

"What's wrong?" Xu Ruibai still had his eyes closed, his voice sounded like he had just woken up, his breath sprinkled on Ye Jia's ears, causing an inexplicable itchiness, Ye Jia became silent for an instant.There was a violent storm outside the window, there was only one night light that was dimly lit in the room, and he felt peaceful in Xu Ruibai's arms.

If only they were as peaceful as they seemed, he thought.

"Hot..." Ye Jia whispered.

Xu Ruibai might be too sleepy, he loosened his arms, and rolled over to the other side of the pillow, there was a distance of several centimeters between the two of them.

I don't know if it's because of pheromones, or because Xia Ye suddenly woke up, but it's all the result of being unable to sleep peacefully. After leaving Xu Ruibai's embrace, Ye Jia became uneasy.Only when Xu Ruibai's even breathing sound could be heard again, Ye Jia dared to move slightly towards him, letting her shoulder touch him, as if this could calm his agitation, and then Omega closed her eyes contentedly. Eyes, began to wait for the next round of falling asleep.

"Is it hot?" A chuckle suddenly came from above his head, Ye Jia's body was hot, but his heart was completely cooled by the freezing rain.

Xu Ruibai kissed the top of his head, "Is it hot?"

"Ah."

Xu Ruibai kissed his forehead again, "Still hot?"

"..."

"How about this?" Before Ye Jia could make a sound, a hot kiss had already landed on his lips.

Ye Jia had no way to refuse him, he had already been fascinated by the pheromone, so he kissed hard, and the kiss became hotter and hotter.Ye Jia felt the changes in his body and guessed what would happen next, but Xu Ruibai let him go.

Ye Jia glanced blankly at Alpha who had returned to his original position and was about to continue sleeping, but his brain hadn't realized what happened.

He was already in love, and Xu Ruibai's pheromones surrounded him from all directions, in this situation, there was no way to stop.Ye Jia gently scratched Xu Ruibai's palm, trying to convey his thoughts in this way, but Alpha was unmoved, if it wasn't for the smile on the corner of his mouth, Ye Jia would have thought that he had fallen asleep.

"Help me." There was some grievance in his tone unconsciously.

"How to help?"

Ye Jia frowned silently, and moved forward.He is obviously not very proficient in asking for a kiss, but greenness seems to be a better tease, Alpha opened his eyes contentedly, snatched the initiative from him, pressed him to start a new round round of aggression.

How the clothes were untied, he has no memory, they seem to be born like this, it has nothing to do with their own wishes, everything should continue like this as if it is correct.

Before getting confused, Ye Jia told himself that this should be correct.

"pat"

The door was opened a crack, and a small head poked its head in.Ye Jia heard the sound, and out of the corner of her eye, she caught a glimpse of the little girl in pink pajamas standing at the door, desperately trying to push Xu Ruibai away, for fear that the other party would repeat the same trick and do something embarrassing.But this time Xu Ruibai did not expect him to let go before him, and covered his head with the quilt as quickly as possible, and hurriedly arranged his pajamas in the dark.

Ye Jia heard a vague voice coming from across the quilt. The little girl's voice was timid and apologetic, "Uncle, I'm sorry. But... there was thunder."

As if to prove that the little girl wasn't lying, a rumbling thunder sounded at the scene, and even Ye Jia trembled from the sudden sound.

"Mom said, Xiao Ke has to learn to be independent, but Xiao Ke is afraid..." The little girl seemed very annoyed, she obeyed her mother's order unconditionally, and wanted to gain more tenderness in this way, but the child's nature bothered her, She still has no way to be as strong as her mother requires.

The quilt was sweltering and hot, Ye Jia felt it was difficult to breathe, he sat up, stuck his head out from under the quilt, and saw Xu Ruibai squatting on the ground with his back facing him, patiently listening to the little girl's fear.

Seeing him, the little girl seemed to have found the most powerful weapon to persuade her uncle. Her little face that was about to cry suddenly became brighter, her eyes lit up and she said, "Xing Xing, can I sleep with my uncle?"

Ye Jia's heart was moved, and he nodded subconsciously. After nodding, he remembered, how could he be qualified to help Xu Ruibai make decisions?

But the permission to get an affirmative answer has already passed through Xu Ruibai like an asteroid, and landed on Ye Jia's bed. To express his gratitude, he even hugged his neck affectionately.

Xu Ruibai stood up. He didn't agree or refuse, but looked at them softly and said, "I'll get you a glass of milk."

After Xu Ruibai disappeared at the door, Xu Xu turned his face, "Xing Xing, were you and uncle doing that kind of thing just now?"

Ye Jia blushed all of a sudden, he didn't even know how to let go of his hands and feet. He didn't know how to explain this matter to a five-year-old child in a tactful way.He didn't have such experience, but he just felt that it sounded a little guilty.

"Xingxing, you are blushing." The little girl giggled.

"Xing Xing, will everyone do this kind of thing? Will I also do this kind of thing when I grow up?" The little girl looked at him with clear eyes, as if this was just the most common question on a page of a textbook.

Ye Jia thought for a while, and tried to find the most appropriate answer, "Not everyone will do this, it's because two people who love each other can't help themselves, they will do this kind of thing."

He and Xu Ruibai are exceptions, but Xu Xu doesn't need to know about these.

I hope she doesn't have the chance to know about this, and it's best not to.

"In love? Do uncle and mother also love each other?"

Ye Jia was taken aback, although he didn't know why Xu Xu used his uncle and mother as an example, but obviously the child must have misunderstood the love he said.He had a headache. He didn't know how to explain the word "love" in a way that the other party could understand. He could only rub the center of his brows and said dryly, "It's not this kind of love."

"Then why do they do such a thing?"

"..." For a moment, Ye Jia didn't know whether Xu Xiaoke's expression was wrong, or his understanding was wrong, so he asked in a daze, "What kind of thing?"

Xu Xu looked puzzled, but his tone was taken for granted, "What you did with uncle!"

Afraid that he would not understand, the child added thoughtfully, "Everyone in this family will do it!"

Ye Jia's mood at the moment can no longer be described as shock, he was speechless and could only stare blankly at Xu Xu.

"Uncle thought I didn't know, and took me to the studio every time to see opals. But I know!" Just after he finished speaking, Xu Xu seemed to have revealed a shocking secret. He quickly covered his mouth, blinked his big eyes, Then put a finger on her mouth, "Xingxing...don't tell uncle, okay, Xiao Ke still wants to go to the studio."

Ye Jia's gaze wandered from Xu Xu to the door, and saw Xu Ruibai standing there expressionlessly.He walked in, put the hot milk in Xiao Ke's hand, turned around and walked out without saying a word.

"Ruibai." Ye Jia called him, but he didn't seem to hear.

The sound of closing the door sounded, and the room was full of warmth again, but the thunder outside the window continued. There is no door in this world that can really isolate all wind and rain.

Ye Jia touched Xu Xu's soft hair, tried his best to restrain the tremor in his voice, and said softly, "Can Xiao Ke stay alone for a while? I'll go and see Uncle Rui Bai, and I'll be back soon."

"Okay." Xu Xu nodded obediently.

Ye Jia followed and closed the door behind him.

He saw Xu Ruibai standing against the wall at the end of the corridor, "Why?"

"Rui Bai..."

"You don't have to pity me." Xu Ruibai's side face merged with the shadow, thunder exploded, and the flickering light depicted a pale sculpture again, his voice was cold and sarcastic.

Ye Jia looked at him across a long corridor, wondering how this could happen.

How could anyone use rejection to express desire.

Ye Jia laughed at himself, what right did he have to pity Xu Ruibai, pity?A victim of sympathy for the perpetrator?There was a sneer on his face, and he sincerely wondered why Xu Ruibai had such hallucinations.

But he can't be indifferent, it's something that comes from human nature, after all, he can't do what Xu Ruibai did to him, especially looking at Xu Ruibai like this——

He stood silently in the rainy night without saying a word, but this extra pain had already surpassed the limit that a person could bear.

The air gradually freezes.

Just like when Xu Ruibai was hiding in the closet when he was five years old.

He stood silently in the rainy night without saying a word, but this extra pain had already surpassed the limit that a person could bear.

The air gradually freezes.

Just like when Xu Ruibai was hiding in the closet when he was five years old.

For 23 years, Xu Ruibai lived his life as a silent and false human figure.

It was an afternoon in summer, and it was extremely hot, and there was also such a sudden thunder and lightning.His father and mother all went to the company, leaving him alone.He is not as lucky as Xu Xu, and he still has relatives who can rely on and act like a baby. He can't show his fear to anyone in this house, and he doesn't dare to say the words "I'm afraid" to anyone easily.

He can only hide in his mother's closet, and being surrounded by the pheromones of his father and mother can give him the illusion that he is being embraced by them.Like every time in the past, this time he can also get through it safely, and after the calm, he gets a few words of praise from his parents.

Until he heard teasing that didn't belong to his father.

[The full version is on Weibo, not a car, but a related plot. 】

Years later, the wardrobe that remained in the memory of a child under the age of five has been eroded and weathered by time. Although it has long since become like a dream, and even collapsed into ruins, the terrifying thunderstorms And the blushing and heartbeating groans still echoed in his ears.In the years since then, every time he dreamed back at midnight, those voices haunted him like a nightmare, invaded every nerve of him unscrupulously, and made him reject and resent every Omega. Go deeper.

Bai Zhuyu said to him, "All Omega are like this."

"This is the right given to them by God, and it is also the destiny they cannot resist."

"Omega is not qualified to speak of love."

"Omegas never love, they just accept," she said.

— What if consciousness could be changed?

They've been pumping these ideas into every child for years, because no one knows better than them that when people get caught up in lust, they stop thinking.

Human beings always feel comfortable, so they don't have the mind to resist.All people will indulge in pleasurable daydreams, gradually become tamed, and gradually live with these thoughts.

Sure, maybe someone doesn't, but who knows?Everyone has learned to pretend to survive.

Because everyone understands that no one has the ability to resist.

He kept a distance from Ye Jia: "This is absurd to you, but I have thought about it countless times, maybe they are right."

He was desperate in the struggle, he tried hard to maintain his sobriety, but watched himself sinking helplessly.The feeling of being aware of every moment of death is more terrifying than death itself.

Ye Jia sighed softly, he approached reluctantly, and touched Xu Ruibai's cheek, not because he was Xu Ruibai, if it was a dog, Ye Jia would do the same.

"Rui Bai, there are objective laws in this world, and some obvious things are unquestionable. Not everyone makes love because of instinct, more people do it because of love."

"Because I love you, I rushed from city A to city G just to see you; because I love you, I joined W agency to do a job I don't like; because I love you, I came to the first estrus ;Because I love you, I am willing to inject you with class B inhibitors. I am clean, and my love is also innocent."

——When I love you, I am innocent and brave. [2]

Xu Ruibai lost his voice, as if he couldn't understand the words Ye Jia said, his eyes were blank.He thought about all the possibilities, but he never thought that Ye Jia might really love him.

When Ye Jia said this, he felt incomparably calm. He didn't feel the regret of passing away his youth, and he didn't feel the depression of being misunderstood. A great emotion rose up in his heart, which was a kind of pity.

It is the pity of those who know love for those who do not love.There was a reassuring power to the feeling, and it made his movements even softer.

Xu Ruibai rubbed Ye Jia's palm, and he was about to wander in such an ethereal but warm hallucination, as if he heard the whirling sound of raindrops beating the leaves, and the chirping of thrushes from the distant hills. Voice.

"Ye Jia, let's just write it off, shall we? Let's start over." Xu Ruibai was helpless like a child, he knew that he was all wrong, but what could he do.All he could do was beg to the shooting star in his life, to start over, if he could, with that closet.

Ye Jia shook his head, he held Xu Ruibai's face in his hands, and gently wiped the tears on his face with his fingertips, "Ruibai, I know you are in pain, but you are not the only one in this world who is in pain. There are 60 billion people in the world, and there are 60 billion kinds of pain. No one will forgive your mistakes because of your pain."

"Rui Bai, no matter what happens next, I will always remember what you did to me. I will always hate you."

Xu Ruibai looked at him and suddenly laughed, but tears flowed out of his eyes stubbornly, he said——

I do not believe.

I don't believe you love me, and I don't believe you hate me.

[1] Excerpted from "The Count of Monte Cristo"

[2] Adapted from Ian McEwan's "Atonement": When I fell in love with you, I was innocent and brave.