four year itch

Since that night, everything has returned to normal, as if all the stories of that night disappeared into the sky with the disappearing thunderstorm.

After lunch, the strict Beta maid brought him the exquisitely arranged fruits as usual, and the metal fork next to it was shining with a cold light.Ye Jia had already forgotten how long she had been here, three days?a week?Or half a month?Time has become meaningless to him.

It's just a cycle of repeating yesterday today, and copying today tomorrow tomorrow.

Xu Ruibai became more gentle towards him, would send him flowers in the morning, read poems to him in the evening, and hug him to sleep at night.Xu Ruibai seemed to use such excessive tenderness to make up for his lost freedom.

The child who was put in shackles has also learned the methods of the abuser at this moment. He gently put the shackles that no one can see around Ye Jia's neck.Just like his mother did to him, he also treated Ye Jia in the same way——

Trying to use a cage made of gold wire to lure the birds in the sky to give up their freedom, he said, I will give you the best life, free from the wind and rain.

Perhaps he also understood that the source of happiness is to learn to love the inescapable destiny.

Ye Jia thought, will things continue like this in the future?He has no hope of leaving here, so what if he leaves here?Xu Ruibai has ten thousand ways to make him walk back by himself.

Ye Jia picked up the fork and wanted to fork the fruit on the plate, but the fruit was against him, and he failed to fork it three or five times, and finally jumped off the table and fell on the carpet.Ye Jia clenched the fork tightly, closed his eyes, and a feeling similar to boredom surged up.

——Or, that’s it?

——Or, go to die?

In fact, when he thinks about it carefully, he doesn't seem to want to accomplish anything in his life, to get something, or to be what kind of person he wants to be.I was pushed by the times all the way to grow up, studying, taking exams, and working with the flow.I had some unrealistic ideals, but later found that it was difficult to realize, so I retreated to the next best thing. I retreated once, twice, three times and countless times. Looking back, I found that there was no way to retreat.

He tried to find the meaning of life, but he has not found a conclusion until now. Even the most brilliant writers can only come to the conclusion that "man lives for the sake of living itself". After all, how can you find meaning for something that is meaningless? Woolen cloth?

Since doing anything in essence seems to be a waste of time, what's the difference between leaving here, or being imprisoned here?

——Did you decide to die just because of such a trivial matter?

People often say, how can they live if they can't bear this kind of suffering?But this suffering is already unbearable, how should he face the next pain?

Some scattered fragments flashed through Ye Jia's mind, the meals his mother cooked for him, the support his father said to him, the gift his sister secretly gave him, Bai Xiaoyu's cheating at his house, and every time Shen Qingchuan A polite but sincere confession.It's all the people he loves and the people who love him.

——Did you decide to live because of this little thing?

Once the thought of "death" appears in the mind, it will never go away, just like the most effective medicine, taken on time every day, so as to relieve the pain in the heart.

It's really painful. Does it mean that you don't have to bear this after you die?

"Mr. Ye!"

Beta's terrified voice pulled Ye Jia back to the real world. His senses slowly recovered, and he felt a tingling pain in his palm. He lowered his head only to find that the sharp fork had been inserted into his palm, and blood gushed out, dripping on the white porcelain plate. The edge, shocking.

"Go get the medicine box." Xu Ruibai walked in quickly, calmly ordering Beta's servant while pressing his wound.

The old wound was just right, and a new wound was added, Xu Ruibai carefully bandaged the wound, Ye Jia looked at the top of Xu Ruibai's head, but couldn't express any emotions.

After bandaging, Xu Ruibai stood up and handed him the phone.It was his mobile phone, but since he woke up, he has never seen it again.

"Call your mother back." Xu Ruibai said.

There was nothing wrong with Chen Jing's call. She was about to run out of her high blood pressure medicine and asked Ye Jia to help her buy a few more boxes.In the past, Ye Jia would buy medicines online and deliver them to her door on a regular basis, but this month Ye Jia seemed to have forgotten about it.

When parents reach this age, they will have some problems to some extent. It is not a serious disease, but the traces left by the accumulation of trivial life.They penetrate into the joints, flow into the blood, erode the vitality of life, make them old and crumbling.

It's like exchanging lives for lives. As children grow stronger, they become more and more vulnerable.

They chatted about trivial matters of life as usual, Ye Jia tried his best to keep the same tone.

"Mom." After saying goodbye, Ye Jia suddenly said, "In the next life, we will still be relatives, I will be a brother, you will be a sister, I will go ahead of you, and let me pamper you, okay?"

In the past, Chen Jing would definitely scold Ye Jia and ask him what nonsense he was talking about, but this time Chen Jing laughed.

"Then if you smile, you agree." Ye Jia seemed to be playing tricks, but also seemed to be acting like a baby.

"What silly things are you talking about?" Chen Jing laughed.

Ye Jia also smiled: "Just recently in the hospital, I saw a lot of life and death, and I was a little touched."

"How is that friend of yours? When are you coming back?"

"Come on, be back soon."

Ye Jia felt a heat surge in his chest, and his nose was sore, as if he had accidentally choked on hot water while taking a bath.But he saw Xu Ruibai who was staring at him from the corner of his eye, so he could only pretend to yawn, which made the tears fall.

He said: "Mom, I'm sleepy. I didn't sleep well last night. I'll go to sleep first."

After hanging up the phone, Ye Jia handed the phone to Xu Ruibai.Xu Ruibai didn't reach out his hand, but just looked at him silently for a long time, and finally took the phone over.

The thing more terrible than despair is probably to be content with despair.

In the early morning, Xu Ruibai woke up, but found that there was no one around him. Looking around, he saw Ye Jia sitting on a high stool looking out the window in a daze.He lost a lot of weight again, with empty clothes hanging on his body, his slightly arched back was faintly visible under the moonlight, and he just sat so quietly, even breathing became very light.Xu Ruibai felt in a trance that he was about to disappear under the moonlight and into the night.

"What's the matter?" Xu Ruibai walked up to him and hugged him, his movements were very light, and even his voice became cautious, as if he would break the person in his arms by mistake if he exerted a little force.

Ye Jia's eyes were dull, he looked at him calmly, then shook his head.

"What do you want to eat tomorrow? You've lost a lot of weight." Xu Ruibai said vaguely, kissing Ye Jia's side neck.

Ye Jia didn't respond, just sat motionless.Xu Ruibai kissed Ye Jia's glands, exuding a little bit of rose fragrance, but this fragrance has a sour smell, like the deep rancid smell that an old man in his twilight will reveal when he sits in meditation.

"Don't you love me?" Xu Ruibai asked.

No sound.

"Continue to love me, okay?" As if yearning.

"I'm tired, Rui Bai, I want to sleep." Ye Jia said.

In the early hours of the morning the rose withers and the night dies.

--

The flowers in the room will be replaced with new ones every day, of all kinds, with buds tightly held and dewdrops in them.

Xu Ruibai thought that by doing so, he could pretend that everything was as it was before.

Ye Jia looked at the flower garden by the window every day, and he always wondered what happened to the flowers the day before. He waited vaguely, like a person sentenced to death lying peacefully on the guillotine, Close your eyes and urge the guillotine to fall——

Xu Ruibai is getting engaged to Chen Di.

This news exploded like thunder in the summer night in the long-quiet manor.

Ye Jia forgot how he got the news, Xu Ruibai didn't tell him, but he did know.It may be that the lobby of the manor has become more ornate, it may be that the plants in the flower garden have been built more neatly, it may be that the footsteps up and down are busier, and of course it is more likely that there is a bit of arrogance of the winner in Bai Zhuyu's eyes.

She won again, she always wins.

The victor brings finery and invites her prisoner to dress up for her son's wedding.

Shirts, vests, suits and ties. Ye Jia stood in front of the mirror and tied his tie in a strange way. He had never worn a suit so formally before, but he still dismissed the servants who were going to come forward to help. put on by yourself.

After struggling to the death with the tie, a crooked knot was finally left behind. Ye Jia raised her head in satisfaction, only to see the protagonist of tonight's story standing at the door, looking at him with a half-smile.

Xu Ruibai was wearing a black suit, with a rose brooch pinned to his chest, and the color of the ruby ​​was as bright as blood.

He walked in, untied the somewhat funny knot, and made a beautiful shape skillfully in three or two strokes, "This is the right way to tie it."

As he spoke, he picked up one of the suits and helped him put it on. Ye Jia didn't resist and let him manipulate him.

Xu Ruibai went around behind him, helped him straighten his hair in front of the mirror, and then kissed his forehead, as if they were the two who were engaged tonight.

"Put out your hand." Xu Ruibai whispered in his ear.

The opal was placed in Ye Jia's palm, the one he brought out from the studio. I don't know how long Xu Ruibai kept it on his body, but the stone was still warm.

Ye Jia didn't bother to ask why, and obediently stuffed the stone into her pocket.

"Let's go."

Xu Ruibai's tone seemed to be relieved after making a difficult decision. He squeezed Ye Jia's shoulder heavily, and turned him towards the door. His reluctance seemed to be farewell, and then he gave a little With force, Ye Jia was pushed away from him.