Youth boy〖comic fanboy〗

On the street where people come and go, there is a strange blank.I saw it from a distance, and I felt a strange feeling in my heart. At this moment, two girls who came all the way from there walked past me——

"Ah, it's so scary, that one just now." The petite girl spoke first.

The tall girl next to her immediately said, "That's right, I thought someone was playing cosplay at first glance, and I wanted to take a photo with you, who knows—" The girl who spoke couldn't help shivering, "I just think of the girl's eyes now, and I feel cold sweat all over my body."

"Ah, it's really bad luck. Baobao, let's go faster and go to the KFC ahead to eat something to calm the surprise."

"Good idea! Haha! Then let's hurry up!"

Saying that, the two girls ran away hand in hand.

When I heard this, I stopped with a little slow reaction, and looked at the backs of the two girls from afar——

They were all wearing cute pleated skirts with lace, one pink and one white, and the tall one was carrying a small bright red shoulder bag.

I froze for a moment, then looked down at my jeans and jacket, and smiled inexplicably. Sure enough, compared to the two girls just now, my attire, combined with short hair and a hat that are more refreshing than boys, Looks like just a tomboy.

But I can’t help it, not to mention my mother Zhao who is petite and cute like a doll, even the face of Nian Guosan’s brother Ping, who is one level higher than me, looks more like a girl than me.

However, thanks to Chiyo, the girl in the class next door, and with her unremitting encouragement, there are already many more skirts in my closet, which has only been jeans, but I still haven’t worn any of them so far.

Alas, I looked at the clear blue sky above my head, this is the gap between ideal and reality——

Obviously there is a boy in my heart who I care about and like very much, even in order to let him like me a little more, I wish I could learn the method of 'How to become a busty man who fascinates boys' from the 'XX' magazine.

But the reality is that I am still in school every day, receiving confessions from girls and some inexplicable entanglements and ambiguous kisses.

Thinking of this, I have a headache.Because right now I'm going on a date with Chiyo, a girl.

***

Chiyo was one of the many girls who confessed to me at first, of course I refused as usual, telling her, just like everyone else, we just need to be good friends.Originally, our relationship was not very close, but one day a while ago, "I tried to wear a skirt with the encouragement of the former student council president, Kazeka Asagiri, but was rejected by the girls collectively." After the storm of 'Xiaocheng wears a skirt is super ugly', the person who stepped forward and rescued me from embarrassment was Chiyo.

After that, the relationship between Chiyo and I improved significantly, with more phone calls and letters.However, recently, Chiyo has made me feel a little scared.She began to exclude me from being alone with other girls, always trying to monopolize all my private space.

Finally, she said to me after school, "Xiao Cheng, you are exactly what I thought in my heart. I am very satisfied with Cheng, I love you! If you want to come here tomorrow, you must come! I will let you see real me!"

I can't figure out what she means by asking me to come out alone with her today... It always feels so scary.However, if she is left alone, I don't know what she will do...

In fact, when I went out today, I saw Wan Li who was reviewing his homework with his brother in his room.

***

Wanli, Wanli under the sun, is my neighbor, my brother's classmate, and also my brother's childhood sweetheart since he was three years old until now. In the end, he is still the boy I have a crush on.

I could have called either my brother or Wanli for help, but——

But the moment before the words came out, he inexplicably remembered about Yuna.

It was the beginning of this semester, and Yuna was entangled by a boy from another school. In desperation, she asked me, who looked like a boy, to be her temporary boyfriend, so that the entangled boy would give up. On the contrary, it angered the other party.

I can still vividly remember the three or four boys' fists that suddenly swung at me that day.

If it wasn't, if it wasn't for my elder brother and Wanli who secretly followed behind because they were worried about me and beat those boys away, I think I would have been seriously injured.

That day in that alley, the elder brother and Wan Li who waved their fists recklessly were like two dancing elves.

The relationship between boys is different from the dependence between girls. It is a magical atmosphere of equality and evenly matched power that outsiders cannot enter.

The tacit understanding they have cultivated since they were three years old often makes me feel inferior and ashamed.Even though I'm my brother's sister, even though I'm Wanli's neighbor, I don't feel that I'm any different from the girls at school who simply yearn for me.

There is no reason to like someone, but it is too painful to maintain a secret love that can never be spoken.So I looked for a reason or excuse to end this relationship, so that I could give up, so that I could return to a relaxed state——

The same is true of my relationship with Wanli. I didn't work hard enough and it was over.

Whenever I think about this, I can't face the two people who seem to have no space to blend into the third person.

***

"Blind date with pen and inkstone, laughing in the morning and evening, how can we say goodbye to the present.The green school trees, the luxuriant garden grass, and the dew turn into rain like ointment.The roads of the world are varied, the sea of ​​people is vast, the youth's aspirations are everywhere, and the sails are ready to go lightly—”

In a familiar lyrics, I came back to my senses.

This is a song that Asagiri Kazeka-senpai often hums.Feng Jia-senpai looks like a boy, but she is so beautiful that you can't look directly at her.Now she is busy preparing for the exams for the women's high school, so I haven't seen her for a long time.I'm a little bit disappointed about this, because my senior has always been the only one I confide in when I was worried about how to deal with the relationship with the girls——

Location: A quiet studio.

"Have you started to hate yourself for being so popular with girls?" Senior sister asked.

I put my head on a drawing table and replied, "No, I hate myself and feel like an alien."

"What do you hate about yourself?"

"I hate myself for not being feminine."

"You want to be a feminine woman?"

I nodded vigorously, "That's right! A woman who fits in women's clothing!"

Hearing what I said, the senior sister paused her hand holding the paintbrush, "Hey, you only think so now. When you grow into a figure suitable for wearing women's clothes soon, your thoughts will change. And, those entanglements Your girls, after a while, they won't be as crazy as they are now. Finally, if you choose to go directly to our girls' high school like me, then you need to stay in the country of women for eight years, This time is enough for you to learn how to dress like a woman, after all, there are many models of ladies in girls’ schools, uh, it’s just that you will become like a nun in your heart. Ah, there’s one more thing I forgot to mention.”

"what?"

"That's right, you don't have to worry too much that you don't look like your mother Zhao. I heard from your class teacher, who is your mother's college student, that your mother was in her teenage years, that is, in junior high school. There is a period in the era, almost at this time, you are also very rebellious."

"Girlhood?" I repeated in confusion.

"That's right. There are so many girls around you, you should have noticed some of their thoughts, like "Xiao Cheng is so handsome no matter how he looks! He feels refreshed even when he sweats, and he won't be like those stinky boys who play dirty." Xixi, sweating a lot, rude, and dislike things, big breasts think you are fat, thin breasts think small breasts. Xiao Cheng, always looks innocent, and also, a person who doesn't throw people away He looks so cool. If he were taller, with long arms and legs, delicate features, fair skin, and refreshing short hair! He would look like a handsome boy from a cartoon. Ahhh, I want to have two twins, one boy and one girl , but don’t want a husband, men are too annoying. Hey, why do people have to get married?” Speaking of this, the senior sister looked over with a smile, “Right, you should hear this often, right?”

I nodded.

Feng Jia-senpai smiled, "From the above, we can actually see the ambivalence of girls. They actually have beautiful yearnings for love and boys. For example, beautiful young clean and pure Prince Charming, etc., but the reality is The boys around you are the kind of rough and nasty boys. Do you think these girls are beautiful when you look at these girls playing in the sun by your side every day?"

"Yes," I nodded, "that day, it was a very sunny day, and the sunlight shone on them through the gap between the marble columns. The light is like a torrent of water, red and blue, like a colorful curtain, and everyone seems to be melted into the light."

Sister Feng Jia suddenly stepped forward and opened a painting covered in white cloth in front of them, pointing to the feathers on it and said, "This is a painting of feathers in the sun. I think, in fact, girls also have a picture like In the youth-like years, some people will want to run wildly and soar, some will feel that they are omnipotent, and some will feel that they are like a little boy in their hearts, and different situations will arise from person to person. Such teenage years , some people get through it in early childhood, some continue until high school. Some are changed by the wider world outside, and some are inspired by the influence of the boy they like for the first time. Femininity .As far as I am concerned, maybe one day I will forget it, but I think I still want to cherish it all."

At this moment, there was a pious side face of the senior sister, perfect like an angel on the wall, I couldn't help but stare blankly.

"But, Xiaocheng, please keep in mind one more thing. Regarding the girl's teenage period, it will have the opposite side. If a girl returns to reality and finds that she can no longer fly, she will shrink back Get into your own shell, create a fantasy world in your heart, insert a pair of wings, and let yourself fly freely. Girls are very contradictory. They obviously like others to be gentle to her, but occasionally yearn for others to be domineering to them .I don’t like the feeling of fear, but I want to experience it. They like the kind of stimulation that they can control at any time, so the harmless Xiaocheng who is a girl is their best practice object. Just this kind of thing, The more layers, the clearer the color, and the more layers, the darker and muddy the color is, and it is impossible to tell what color it is. Therefore, if you want to become a beautiful and pure person in the future, don't be fooled by People lead by the nose. When a girl goes too far, you don't have to show mercy just because the other party is a girl, just be flat."

***

The memories have to end here, because the short road has come to an end, and I also saw the object of my date today.

She was less than ten meters away from my eyes, and there was a strange large blank area around that section.

When people passed by within a radius of ten meters from her, they inexplicably bypassed the girl in the peculiar gothic costume.

I stepped forward quickly, and greeted with a smile, "Hi, Chiyo, is this what you said you really look like?"

result--

"Don't call me Chiyo, I am Yoko now."

I was slightly taken aback, but soon smiled again, "Well, okay, Yoko. So where are we going to play now?"

Yoko seemed to be satisfied with my reaction, she smiled, then chose a direction to walk forward, and said as she walked, "As expected of the person I fancy, most people will be very surprised, showing a look of Stupid look. It's kind of you not to react."

"I don't really understand..." Following the figure in front of me, I replied with some distaste.

"It doesn't matter if I don't understand, it's enough for me to understand you." Yangzi in front quickly interjected, and then she added, "The only person who can understand you is me. Xiaocheng, do you know?"

"what?"

"Xiaocheng, there is one thing that is very good. You don't stubbornly determine anything, you are not persistent, and it gives people a feeling that you don't have 'any selfishness'. It's really wonderful. You are the most perfect beautiful boy in my heart. .”

"But, I'm not a boy." I corrected her lightly.

"Of course I know that." Yoko turned around in front of her, "You are neither a boy nor a girl. You are a gender that cannot be classified into any category. It gathers the essence of the whole world and exists like a crystallization. That is the kind of "boy in white" in the manga, the real "boy"."

After listening to her words, I was silent for a long time, and I didn't know what to say, so I had to look around.After a look, we realized that the two of us had walked up the steps of a park without knowing when.

Perhaps sensing my silence, Yoko on the opposite side also fell silent for no reason.

After a while, "Xiao Cheng, look, I'm wearing this dress now," she pointed to the gothic dress on her body, "This is the last dress my deceased grandma made for me, eh, strange?"

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Ah, it's nothing." After groping around for a while, she raised her head and smiled, "It's not a big deal, but it seems that a talisman I carried in my pocket is missing."

"symbol?"

"Yeah, it was made by my grandma together with the clothes on my body. After my grandma passed away, I became very lonely. I lived with my grandma until I was ten years old, and then I was picked up by my parents. Now at home, but they are always busy and can't talk to me. So, I spend most of my time in the blog space on the Internet."

I was silent for a while, "Since it is such an important thing, why don't we go back and look for it, maybe it just fell on the ground where we came from."

"No need," the girl on the opposite side suddenly showed an unusually bright smile, "That talisman is a talisman, made by my deceased grandma to protect me from growing up safely. But, I used it as a wishing talisman—— "

***

"God, please give me someone who can understand and accept all of my words, please give me such a person. Just be with me, someone who is willing to listen to all of my words.

Please give me such a person, understand me! "

***

"Chiyo, what are you going to do?!" Seeing the girl in front of me retreating further and further away, I couldn't help shouting.

"What to do?" The smile on the girl's face became brighter, "When I met Xiao Cheng, I thought my wish had come true. I thought that if it was Xiao Cheng, he would understand me and listen to me." -"

"Chiyo, come here first, it's too dangerous to stand over there." I looked at her feet anxiously, and approached her.

"Don't come here!" the girl scolded excitedly, "I thought that I finally found someone who can completely replace grandma. You came today to have a showdown with me, and you've had enough of my possessiveness, right? If you knew the real me is such a person, would you rather never know me? Xiaocheng, you big liar, if you didn’t really like me, why did you treat me so well in the first place and made me fall into a trap? So deep!"

"what!"

"careful!"

The moment Chiyo fell, I stretched out my hand and pulled her around, and then——

"Xiaocheng, are you okay!"

Someone caught me when I fell.That is Wanli who has been watching us for a long time.

"Wan, Wanli?" I hurriedly broke free from his arms, "Why are you?"

——Aren’t you supposed to stay in your brother’s room and do your homework?

"Because you looked very heavy when you went out, I was a little worried, so I left a note for Ping and followed. Huh, it's okay, fortunately I followed." He said and rubbed the top of my head .

"You, are you okay, Xiaocheng?" It was Chiyo's voice.

"Ah, I, I'm fine, Chiyo, don't worry." I hurriedly poked my head out from behind Wanli.

At this time, Wan Li took out something from his pocket and handed it to Chiyo, "I saw this thing brought out of your pocket earlier, please return it to you."

"Ah, thank you." Chiyo quickly accepted it gratefully, but she seemed very unaccustomed to being in such close contact with boys, so after she put away the amulet, she said to me apologetically: "That, Xiao Cheng, I'm sorry today, and I'll apologize to you tomorrow. Then, I'll go back first." After speaking, she panicked and wanted to leave.

"Wait," Wanli suddenly called out to Chiyo.

"What, what?" Chiyo turned around strangely.

"Well, although this is not very good from my point of view, but," Wan Li nodded his ears, "I actually followed you all the time because I was worried about Xiao Cheng, so I took a rough idea of ​​what you said. I think It can be concluded that Chiyo likes Xiaocheng very much, and Xiaocheng also cares about you as a friend. It’s just that you don’t seem to be very clear about the difference between liking and love. Because any emotion in this world actually contains possessiveness, so in our world Age is really hard to tell."

"Are you trying to say that I like the wrong person, should I give up my relationship with Xiaocheng?" Chiyo looked at Wanli with some hostility.

"No, no, no," Wan Li waved his hands, "What I want to say is not this, but that we are too young now to accept a 'unique love until death'. I am so, The same is true for Xiaocheng’s eldest brother, Ahe, who is in the third year of high school. Our spirit and wings are still in the state of fledglings, and we are still unable to survive and stand on our own in this world. What if we have someone we admire now? You can’t even protect yourself, let alone the person you like? So, you who are like a beautiful flower, whether it’s Xiao Cheng or Chiyo, it’s too early to open up now. First exercise your ideals Wings, think about whether to decide on the person who will be with you for the rest of your life now."

"Ah, thank you so much." Chiyo blushed a little. After she thanked her, she raised her head and looked straight at me, "Xiao Cheng, we are still friends, right?"

"Yes!" I nodded vigorously.

"Then, let's go shopping with Yuna and the others after school tomorrow."

"it is good!"

"Then, I'll go back first. Goodbye, Xiao Cheng." Chiyo smiled and waved.

"Well, bye."

After Chiyo was no longer visible——

"Come on." Wan Li said suddenly.

"What?" I froze.

"You sprained your foot just now, didn't you endure until now because you were worried about Chiyo's self-blame? Don't force yourself, come up quickly." Wanli patted him on the shoulder.

I watched him persist, fell silent for a while, and finally compromised.

on the way home--

"Wanli, how many girlfriends have you dated since elementary school? Do you have anyone you really like? Actually, Wanli, there are some things about you that even Ping doesn't know?" I asked.

Wan Li paused for a moment, then said softly, "Does this question have to be answered?"

"It doesn't matter if you don't answer." I hurriedly remedied, "Did you play a puzzle before?"

"how do you know?"

"Because you have a very small puzzle piece in your mouth."

"Ha, you see," he smiled, then freed up a hand and handed over something, "Go on."

"Ah?" I took it in doubt, "If one piece is missing, the puzzle cannot be completed."

"It doesn't matter, I just found this one out of a book today. I thought it was missing the other day, so I went to the store and ordered another piece. By the way, can you see what pattern it is?"

"Well, it's white, I can't guess it." I replied after looking at it for a while.

"It's a beautiful feather when it's finished."

--feather?I froze.

"Maybe it will fade away one day, but I think I still want to cherish it all. 』

"Then guess where this piece is put together?" Wan Li continued to ask.

I took the little puzzle piece to my lips and kissed it lightly, then clenched it tightly in my palm, "What's the prize for guessing right?"

"Give you a real feather, colored!"

"Hmph! I'm stingy!" I pretended to be angry and hammered his back.

"Haha, well, we're home, come in, let me help you, be careful!"

"En..." I looked at the big boy who was much taller than me who stretched out his hand to me, endured the accelerated heartbeat, stretched out my hand, and put it in his palm.

This is who I like!It's different from the little love when he secretly hid aside and watched his three-year-old brother play happily with him when he was two years old, and he stretched out his hand to play with them with a smile——

Is a real like!

This person, this person, no matter how many times I give up, I will fall in love again.

——I will cherish the mood and feelings I like for the first time.

Ahh, Senior Sister Fengjia, you are right.

——Girlhood passes by in a flash, and everyone will soon forget the time they once had.However, don't lose that precious thing.

"I want to have a boy and a girl twins."

"No, you have to be with someone you like."

"Someday we will meet"

"Prince Charming?"

"That's right."

"Like a curtain made of light."

"so beautiful."

Wanli, I still can't express my current mood to you.However, one day, when I become a good woman like Fengjia-senpai, I will definitely——

No matter at that time, whether you have someone worth protecting for the rest of your life, no matter if that person is male or female——

I must tell you this heart.