want to be your person

I have to update quickly, the key is to learn. ——XL

When Dinka woke up, he found himself lying on a hospital bed with bandages all over his body, and there was a strong smell of disinfectant on his body.Because of the heavy trauma, his mind was still hazy. When he saw his mother, Uncle Xia Liang, and Xia Jian beside the hospital bed, Dingka suddenly woke up and was shocked.Enduring the severe pain all over his body, he sat up.

"Where's Chen Mo? What about others?!" Dinka's heart seemed to be pumped into ice cubes, filled with many angular ice balls, piercing his flesh and blood.If something really happened to Chen Mo, what should he do? !Living is more painful than dying.I promised Chen Mo that I would always, always be by his side, never leave, my dear, this is really not just talk, you fucking said you would never leave me!Dingka tore the clean white sheets, tears were rolling in his eyes, and his voice was sobbing and indistinct.

Everyone didn't speak, Dinka's eyes widened, and big tears fell down, breaking into rivers.

"Why don't you talk, don't you know?" Dingka yelled out of control, the wound on his body was dragged open a big hole, and the flesh exploded.Seeing her son's appearance, Xi Hui couldn't help but burst into tears.

"Son, don't be like this, take care of your injuries..." Xi Hui didn't dare to talk about Chen Mo's affairs, she was afraid that Dingka's emotional agitation would cause his condition to worsen, Xi Hui couldn't help but feel deeply guilty and remorseful, she cared too little for her son, He only thinks about his own happiness, but ignores Dinka's feelings and happiness.

"He must be fine, I...I'm going to find him!" Dingka lifted the quilt and saw that his legs were covered with plaster. Body, with every step Dinka took, he felt his broken bone stabbing deeper and deeper into his leg.

This kind of physical torture is not as good as the pain in my heart.

Xi Hui and Xia Liang wanted to stop Dingka when he got up and walked, but because Dingka was seriously injured, they didn't dare to act rashly, they just blocked Dingka and supported him.

"Son, take care of your injuries first, okay? Even if mom begs you..."

"Dinka, just listen to your mother and heal your injury first."

Dingka resolutely shook off the hand that supported him, his clear eyes were full of turbulent pain, and he choked helplessly.

"Mom, there is something I should have told you earlier. Chen Mo and I have been together for a long time. I love him, and he loves me too. I was cowardly and didn't say it, but this time I must accompany If he dies, I will accompany him to die."

The expression on Ding Ka's face was so decisive that neither Xi Hui nor Xia Liang expected such a thing.

With a "snap", Xi Hui slapped Dingka heavily, and half of Dingka's face was numb.

"How can you say such a thing, I am your mother, if you die, what will you tell your mother to do..."

Xi Hui knew Dingka's stubborn nature, once he made a decision, he had to make it even if he died.Xi Hui also felt distressed, because her son could easily give up his life because of a man, easily abandon his biological mother, and guard the so-called love without hesitation, and fulfill the so-called promise.It's ridiculous, how can two men have love? !

"Dingka, if you go out from here, there will be no mother like me in the future!" Xi Hui was so angry that she had to let Dingka choose between family affection and love. The most aggressive thing between people is the way of choice , obviously neither side can lose, Xi Hui still has to force Dinka to learn the cruelest choice.

The last ray of light in Dinka's eyes faded away, like a walking corpse whose soul had been ingested, and he couldn't feel the pain anymore.

"I have worked hard since I was a child, just to save face for you. I thought that was the meaning of my life. But Mom, I will be very tired. I have been ridiculed, bullied, and disgusted. I have to pretend Pretending to be unharmed, it was all fake. Until I met Chen Mo, a man, I fell in love with a man, I thought it was disgusting, but I just loved him. Mom, you have found your happiness Yes, but I'm not happy at all." Dinka, wearing a white hospital gown, laughed and burst into tears.The faint light of the sun reflected on Dinka's pale cheeks, making him appear thin and light.A gust of wind blew by and blew Dinka's collar. The stubborn boy exhausted his strength and made the choice he thought, but destroyed the purest...

Xi Hui broke down in tears. She never thought that Dinka would be so tired from childhood to the conference. She forced him to be an excellent person when he was a child and asked him to do everything well. Dinka wanted to make his mother happy. Share some worries for mom.So every time Xi Hui asked, Dingka would accept it, no matter why, because Dingka loved his mother very much.

"I must be with him, whether he is dead or alive." Dinka shed tears and shed his own blood.

Xi Hui sat paralyzed on the ground, and Dingka walked out of the door step by step.

I don't care about anything, I only want you, Chen Mo.

I gave up everything just to be with you, but where are you?

Xia Jian stretched out his hand to block Dingka's way, he would not just watch Dingka fall.

"There's no need to look for him!" Xia Jian's voice was still so pleasant, magnetic and husky and sexy.

"Why?" Dinka's heart tightened suddenly.

"He went abroad for medical treatment, so you don't have to go to him. He came to see you in a wheelchair on the second day after you were in a coma, and then left the country on the same day. He asked me to tell you, don't do stupid things, just wait patiently." When he comes back, that's all, will he abandon his biological mother to find him?" Xia Jian's words bombarded Dingka's mind.

Go abroad?went abroad...

"Then... then did he say when he'll be back?" Ding Ka grabbed Xia Jian's clothes.

"I don't know, maybe I'll come back, maybe I won't come back again..." Xia Jian didn't want to make Dingka sad, but Dingka had to be prepared to lose Chen Mo at any time. Chen Mo's operation abroad was too risky. Big, I also promised that Chen Mo would take good care of Dingka.

Dinka didn't recover for a long time, he was in a trance, crying and laughing, laughing and crying again.

"I'll wait for him, and I'll definitely wait." Dingka laughed, which broke Xia Jian's heart.

Even if something happened to Chen Mo, Xia Jian would not tell Dingka, even if Dingka waited for a lifetime, he would stay with him in the name of a friend.

Dingka sat on the hospital bed very obediently, neither crying nor laughing, and had been taking injections and medicines with his co-workers for the past few days.But the reaction was very slow, Xia Jian called his name, it took Dingka a long time to react, his empty eyes were a little bleak.

Xia Jian was afraid that Dingka would suffer some kind of mental illness, so he often took Dingka who was in a wheelchair out for a walk.The air outside is much fresher than in the hospital. Xia Jian has been working very hard to take care of Dingka these days, so he couldn't help but yawned and stretched.Dinka usually looked at the sky and passed the whole afternoon without saying a word.Xia Jian would also buy a lot of books for Dingka to read, but Dingka seemed to read the books endlessly, and closed his heart even more, soaking in books all day long, which made Xia Jian worry for a long time, and finally secretly read the books. Those books were hidden.There is no other way, in order to make Dingka happy, Xia Jian chatted with Dingka every day, but naturally he didn’t get any response. Xia Jian never thought that Dingka would talk to him, after all, Dingka’s heart is not Every corner that I can control is filled with Chen Mo.Xia Jian didn't care about those, because it was enough for him to be with Dingka every day, people, don't be too greedy.

Xia Liang and Xi Hui have been delaying their marriage because of Dingka.Every time I went to the hospital to see Dingka, Dingka kept silent. Xihui cried many times seeing Dingka getting thinner and thinner. Xia Jian knew that there was too much estrangement between Dingka and Xihui. It is impossible to solve the knot in the hearts of two people.

On this day, Xia Jian took Dingka out for a walk as usual. Although it was cold outside, the sun was clear and shone on the two of them, making them very warm.Xia Jian remembered that this was the first time Dingka talked to himself after closing his heart.

"Do you think the sun looks like a sunflower?" Dinka looked at the dazzling sun, and his eyes hurt.

"Well, I really don't care if you don't tell me, do you have a pretty good imagination~~~"

Xia Jian was afraid that Dingka's eyes would be sunburned, so he gently covered Dingka's eyes.

"Can you buy me a sunflower? Just one..."

Dinka was begging and crying.

Xia Jian only felt that the palms covering Dingka's eyes were cold. He was crying?

"Don't cry, I'll buy you whatever you want!" Xia Jian felt distressed, and he would give Dingka whatever he wanted.

"Thank you, Xia Jian..." Dingka felt the warmth of the sun, thought of sunflowers, and closed himself in thoughts.

We are struggling with memories and suffering in missing.I can't reach the most beautiful distance, I can't find a paradise with you.

Xia Jian really bought a sunflower for Dingka and put it in a delicate vase. The vase was lavender with violets painted on it.

"Do you like sunflowers?" Xia Jian placed the vase on Dingka's bedside.

"Well, I like it very much. The primary school teacher accidentally introduced to us the (sunflower) painted by Van Gogh. I fell in love with the sunflower painted by Van Gogh in the textbook." Chen Mo bought it for himself in Dinka's mind. The sunflower scene is somewhat bitter and sweet.

"That's it..." Xia Jian felt that Dingka had gotten better these days, and he was willing to talk to himself.

"I'm hungry, can you buy me something to eat?" Dingka wanted to send Xia Jian away.

"Of course, I'll buy it for you now." Xia Jian saw that Dingka was almost skinny, and he wished that Dingka would eat more and grow fat.

When Xia Jian went out, Dingka took out the fruit knife hidden in the cabinet, and cut a small cut on his arm, but the cut was deep, and the blood soon flowed out continuously. Dingka squeezed the wound, Drip all the blood into the vase.Dinka believes that his blood will nourish this sunflower, it will never wither, just like Chen Mo, he will never leave his.

But Dinka forgot one thing: the sunflower cannot leave the sun, no matter how much you love it.

The sunflowers in the vase gradually withered without sunlight within a few days. Dinka had nightmares every night, and his weight became lighter and lighter, and his morbid emaciation almost turned into a skeleton.Xia Jian forced Dingka to take in the nutrients in the food every day, but Dingka would vomit badly whenever he ate anything, and kept looking at the dead sunflower in the vase.Dingka fed the sunflower with blood every day, but he still watched it gradually dry up. Dingka was startled, and he suddenly imagined Chen Mo's dying appearance. Could it be like this... No, no, He will not die!

Xia Jian would scrub Dingka's body regularly, just scrubbing his face, arms, and thighs.Sensitive parts are cleaned by Dinka himself.

"Why are there so many wounds on your arms?!" Xia Jian's face darkened, his expression was serious, and his tone was stiff.

"That wound already existed." Dinka lied.

"I didn't see any signs of injury on your arm in those few days!" Xia Jian revealed.

"I already have these wounds, I won't tell you, I have to go to the bathroom." Dinka got up and went to the bathroom with a cane.

There was a smell of blood in the air. Xia Jian thought it was nothing at first, but he accidentally knocked over the vase with the cup on the bedside, and the red liquid in the vase flowed out in large pieces, and the smell of blood became stronger and stronger. Xia Jian only felt nauseous and wanted to vomit, and his stomach acid was regurgitating.As soon as Dinka came out of the bathroom, he saw the vase was overturned and the dead body of the sunflower was rotting on the cold ground. The blood stained the sunflower's original vibrant color. Before he could get it, he staggered and ran over, falling heavily to the ground.

Dinka hugged the sunflower tightly, the vase was broken into pieces, and the flowers were dead.

"Dingka, why are you torturing yourself like this!!!" Xia Jian's eyes turned red with anger, but in fact his heart ached.

Dinka curled up her body, holding the flower in her arms.

"That's my sunflower...that's my sunflower..."

Xia Jian gritted his teeth, became ruthless, and ruthlessly pulled out the disfigured Hua'er from Dingka's arms, tore off the flower disc with his hands, cut off the rhizome of the flower, and then used his feet to sever Trampling hard, crushing.

"Dingka, your sunflower is Chen Mo, he will come back, don't give me the fuck to think about!"

Xia Jian knelt down and hugged Dingka who was crying loudly, indescribably painful.

"After holding it in for so many days, let's cry..."

"Trust, and trust that everything will be alright."

Well, everything will be fine, for sure.

Xia Jian's eye sockets were moist, this was the first time he cried, and he cried for the one he loved.

For Xia Jian, Dingka is his sunflower, but he is not the sun, shining high above.