Pet me, are you addicted?

For such a dating software, my mentality is mainly based on dating.If you are really tempted after a few chats, you will inevitably make an appointment to meet up and go to the park.

What makes me very unforgettable is a clinical college student who is still like a child emotionally.Children studying medicine always have an inexplicable attraction to me, which may have something to do with my schooling experience.His name is Sum.

That day, I met sum in West Lake Park.Although I like him very much, I just feel that the two of us are as far away as a world apart.

I had two appointments with sum, the first time at the park and the second time at my residence.While at my place we had sex through and through, I frankly miss the close bond with him in the park even more.

After two meetings, I wrote two paragraphs about sum——

"First time. When I first saw you, you were young, innocent, silly, and real. I seemed to have passed through the fireworks in the world and returned to the Holy Land of Ivory. I can't help but look sideways at your face, and I dare not let the person I admire I stayed there for too long, lest I disturb your innocence. Side by side by the lake, I poured out my heart to you, and you opened my heart to me. Finally, on the black rock, you clasped my hand, and I hugged your neck. Night It’s so beautiful, but it’s short-lived. It’s especially hurtful to be parted forever.”

"Goodbye, you still make me at a loss. In the classroom, I saw your shyness. On the grass, I heard your happiness. Your happiness is simple, like family and friendship. My happiness is sticky Yes, like an unfathomable love. You lightly like it, and I am deeply nostalgic. For half a month, we have a unique story. Life is a vase, and I have been broken into pieces, but you are perfect as before. I love you , I envy you, I want to be you. Perhaps, you are just a shadow, just a past."

After that, I went to his school to find him several times, but he just met me briefly, sometimes even refused to meet me, making me wait for hours in vain.Finally, I still made up my mind and ended my admiration and thoughts for him.

After this incident, a terrible thought popped into my mind—maybe my fate with this circle is over.Until that day, I accidentally recognized Shao Wei's head, and he was within 1000 meters of me.At that moment, my unreliable sixth sense told me that fate might come again.

I often think that sum will be the last person who makes me fall in love.When love becomes a numb routine, what is the heart to say.

So, I always want to go back to the past, to find those people in the past, and to relive those things in the past.But who can I get back?

Li Xuan is still in Beijing, and he doesn't see each other every Spring Festival.Li Lei's mobile phone number has long been lost. Although he has kept his chat account, he has been afraid to add him as a friend because he is afraid that he will refuse.

It's not just these people that I want to get back.Someone once warned me not to talk about anything with anyone, because as long as you talk about it, you will miss everyone.

For example, Any, Hu Ge, for example, Zhu Hang, A Lei, for example, my high schoolmate Tu Hao, and Shao Wei who pursues Tu Hao.I fantasized about meeting some of them by chance, but I never thought that after seven or eight years, I would meet Shao Wei in the provincial capital.

After graduating from high school, Shao Wei and I reconnected on the Xiaonei website.I'm a narcissist and love photography, especially selfies.Once, Shao Wei saw a selfie I uploaded and commented:

"Oh, you're pretty handsome. Why didn't you think you were pretty before?"

Although most of Shao Wei's words were not credible, but after reading his comments, I felt as if I was really praised, and my face was filled with joy.In particular, I thought that this comment came from the aesthetic vision of people in Shao Wei's circle.However, at this time, Shao Wei still didn't know that I was in the same circle as him.I paid attention to Shao Wei's school information, which is a university in Xi'an.

After graduating from university, the Internet has become indifferent, which adds to a person's loneliness.The dynamics of my friends have been consistent for ten years, as if time stopped at the moment of graduating from college.

After working for three years, for Shao Wei, I would occasionally wonder if such a similar person with whom I had intersected before is doing well now, but I never thought about what kind of intersection I would have with him in the future.

But to be honest, when I first recognized his photo on the gay dating software, I was inexplicably pleasantly surprised.I didn't know that Shao Wei was also in the provincial capital, and I didn't expect that I could still recognize him from his head.

So, I decisively sent a message to Shao Wei:

"Hello there!"

Soon, Shao Wei replied:

"you are?"

I didn't upload my real profile picture to the dating software, so Shao Wei didn't know it was me.After some thinking, I decided not to reveal my identity, and pretended to be a stranger on the software to ask Shao Wei to meet.I don't know why I'm doing this, or not entirely sure if it's the right thing to do.

Now, I accidentally discovered Shao Wei, in the vast network world, just like I discovered Tu Hao back then.I can choose to create an opportunity to get to know each other, or I can choose to forego this opportunity to reconnect and keep the secret hidden.Obviously, I chose the former.

"Are you in the provincial capital?" I asked.

"I just came here for a few days on business, and I'm leaving this weekend." Shao Wei replied.

"Where are you? Let's meet."

"I live in a hotel with my colleagues."

"Did you go to see your classmates in the provincial capital?" For some reason, I asked this question out of nowhere.

"No, are you my classmate? Tell me, who are you?"

"Guess?" I had no choice but to give in.

"High school or junior high?"

"high school."

"High-quality ones?"

High supplement!Shao Wei repeated his third year of high school?I didn't know it until now.

"No."

"Can't guess. Give me your mobile phone number, dear."

Shao Wei called, but he still didn't recognize my voice and couldn't guess who I was.So, he strongly demanded to meet immediately.

I premeditated the reunion with Shao Wei, of course, I can choose not to.It was I who took the initiative to strike up a conversation with Shao Wei. Of course, I didn't have so many unreasonable thoughts.What else can I hope for? Our world has been shifted by ten years.

I could have chosen to be frank and generous, and let the world of hypocrisy return to its original nature.But I chose to hide my desires, show meekness, and relive the good times.But Shao Wei chose to hide his gentleness, reveal his desires, and make decisions like water.The dead are like this, and I can't allow me to relive the unreasonable Jinse.Whether it is a familiar stranger or a dear passerby, we have enjoyed the spring, but we are nostalgic for the warm winter.

I don't know what the outcome will be, just like the acquaintance with Tu Hao back then.The ending is often unexpected.But I'm always used to fantasizing about some endings.For example, we may just meet and catch up.If we're brave enough, we might spend the night together.But after the relationship, I didn't think much about it.Because it doesn't make any sense to fantasize about things after that.Only when I take the first step, will I have the possibility of the future, otherwise everything is just a dream.

It was raining in the dark sky, and I stood at the gate of the residential area with an umbrella.A taxi came speeding up and stopped at the door.The car door opened and Shao Wei stepped down.Under the dim street lights, Shao Wei recognized me at a glance.

"It's really you, I can't believe it."

I smiled and remained silent.

"Why are you in the provincial capital?"

"I've only been back for more than two months."

Shao Wei opened a room in the hotel. In Shao Wei's words, they are all old classmates. If it is cheaper for others, it is better to give it to your own.Although I don't like being so straight-forward and ruining the warm and romantic atmosphere, who knows when the next time we meet will be.Maybe after this village, there will be no such shop.

Shao Wei told me that the real reason for his return to the provincial capital this time was that his father was hospitalized.Then, I learned about Shao Wei's family situation.Shao Wei's mother committed suicide when he was in sixth grade.Thus, Shao Wei had a stepmother.For a long time, Shao Wei felt that his father didn't love him and owed him too much.Shao Wei has not come out to his family yet, and this time he returns to the provincial capital, hoping to reach a kind of reconciliation.

That night, Shao Wei worked very hard to make me comfortable.It's a beauty trick, I think.When he told his story, Shao Wei choked up.This is a bitter trick, I thought again.

We also chatted about some of our high school classmates.Among them, Tu Hao must not be avoided.But one thing is beyond my expectation, Shao Wei's hatred for Tu Hao born of love is far more than simple as I imagined.

The next day, before saying goodbye to Shao Wei, he said to me: "I will miss you."

After hearing this, I felt that he seemed intentional or unintentional, so I replied lightly: "I know."

Lies are the greatest temptation in life.Thousands of miles away, a promise is light gold.Love is like a trick, playing tricks on us again and again, we are just props in the trick.There are times when I enjoy immersing myself in the imagination of love.And sometimes, I will relentlessly force myself out of fantasy.

On the day I arrived at the provincial capital by train from the county seat, Liu Jiating didn't come to pick me up, or even show up, but I don't blame her.

A few days before preparing to go to the provincial capital, I deliberately contacted a few old classmates who were in the provincial capital.These years have gradually drifted away, and there has been a great distance between the old classmates.And I am hiding a big secret, which makes it even more strange.I am not a person who likes to bother others. I will not easily trouble others until I am desperate.

So, in fact, I don't expect to be warmly received by someone. In fact, I'm used to being alone, and being alone makes me feel free.But this time when I returned to my hometown, I really wanted to find an opportunity to introduce my true self to them.So I greeted them anyway.Among the few classmates, Liu Jiating is a relatively familiar one.

So, I got on the noisy train alone, walked into a strange city alone, lived in a small hotel alone, and looked for a comfortable job alone.