Nancheng, nothing old.

We often ask ourselves, if everything can be the same, can you choose not to meet her that day.I also often ask myself, when I am sad, I ask myself, if I have not met Lu Yian, everything will be much better for me?But the answer is no, besides loving me, Lu Yian taught me many things.

When I first arrived in the north, under her care, everything went well.Except for the 20 days of military training, every weekend after that, I joined her and Chen Qinghan's small world, adding meals or enriching the feeling of home.She treats me like a big sister, and Chen Qinghan treats me very well, I call her Sister Qinghan, and she and Lu Yian become my big sisters together.My friends from college, seeing them occasionally, also feel that I am extremely lucky to have such a sister in a foreign land.Therefore, Lu Yian, liking her has become a great secret to me.

Just like the photos I put away in my room in my hometown and sealed at the bottom of the box.

I often call Lu Jiang and sit on their sofa in Lu Yian's small living room every weekend, waiting for sister Chen Qinghan to do it.In Lu Jiang in Shanghai, the words are very pleasant, she likes that place, the night view of Huangpu River, the streets of old Shanghai, she likes to take a walk on the long Bund, and then talk to me without mentioning anything about Wang Xiaoyu Everything, I thought she forgot.We had a lot to talk about, and I couldn't wait to tell her everything about my new city and school.

She said that Guo Qing is welcome to find her.

Ever since, Chen Qinghan, Lu Yian and I went to Shanghai on the National Day of that year, taking the plane instead of the high-speed train.Lu Yian and Chen Qinghan are going to Wuzhen, they just take me to Shanghai and meet Lu Jiang.She always thought that I like Lu Jiang.It was me who made her think that from the beginning to the end, the girl I loved more and more was indeed Lu Mingjiang.

When we arrived in Shanghai, it was one o'clock in the noon. Lu Jiang came to pick us up. During the holidays, she worked as a waitress in a small bar in Tianzifang. She always worked part-time in her spare time, often on night shifts. She worked next to the school and Girls from the same school live together, and they only go back to the dormitory when they are young.We followed her to the place where she rented a house to put her luggage, and we did not see her roommate who is often invisible in the legend.Under her persuasion, Lu Yi'an temporarily stayed in Shanghai for a day.

We came to Tianzifang for a threesome, and I bought small gifts to send to relatives and friends at home.After the swim, he waited for her at the bar where she worked part-time for a drink.Lu Yi'an and Chen Qinghan drink Corona suitable for women, and I can only drink Lu Jiang's special non-alcoholic cocktail.A glass of dark pink non-transparency drink that looks delicate.She handed it to me, "Try it, I will learn how to mix wine without doing anything, this is my first work."

Lu Jiang had a confident smile on her face, and her short hair was dyed brown.But before we could speak to us, someone called her, and she passed by.I took a sip of the wine, it was slightly sweet and slightly sour. After swallowing, there was a bit of bitterness in my throat.

I looked at Lu Jiang in the distance, walking under the dim lights everywhere, with a straight body, a smile on my face all the time, and occasionally said a few words in Shanghai dialect that I couldn't understand. Shy and quiet girls are different.The girl who lent me two pen refills, spoke softly when talking to me, and would blush in front of Lu Yian disappeared completely, not a trace of it could be seen.However, this is a stronger and more independent Lu Jiang.I raised my glass and took a swig of wine.At that time, my mood was really mixed.

Lu Yi'an looked at me: "This year, Lu Jiang has completely changed. She wanted to abandon Xiao Yu, so she also abandoned her former self. Do you still like Lu Jiang like this?"

I glanced at Lu Jiang, then fixed my eyes at Lu Yian. In the dimly lit room, she frowned and looked at me with melancholy eyes.I nodded slightly, looking away.

Some people say that one's life will always change a lot in one's life when he was eighteen in his early years and eighty in his later years. Every time in this world, the real me changes. is unusual.

But this life is still long, and I am only ten years old. I have heard a lot of words, but I don’t understand much. I don’t understand love, and I don’t understand the difference between loving someone and loving.I don't even quite understand if I can say love to Lu Yi'an.

I look at her.

Taking a sip of Lu Jiang Tiao's cocktail, he glanced around and peeked at her under the dazzling light, not daring to look at her for too long.Her eyebrows, eyes, lips and nose are the same as before, but her hair is longer. When talking to Chen Qinghan, she has a playful smile on her face. She is the only one in her eyes, looking at her with all her attention, leaving me only a profile.

Across Lu Yi'an, I vaguely felt that Chen Qinghan was looking at me, looking at me again and again, but I didn't dare to turn my face to look directly at him.Unable to confirm, I felt more and more uneasy. In the slightly noisy environment, with the drums beating, I felt my rapid and violent heartbeat, and quickly turned my eyes to the dimly lit place. I wanted to find Lu Lu in the crowd. Jiang, seeing her in a crowd of strangers will make me calmer, but it's a pity that I can't find her.My throat was dry and my face was hot. I stroked my face with one hand, trying to block the staring gaze, and drank the cocktail that Lu Jiang made for me.

Jiang Ming, Lin Jiangming.

I looked at Lu Yian, and she looked at me.It was a snowy day, and in the white world, we could not see the eaves and streets.

Jiang Ming, Jiang Ming.

She called my name and touched my face with her fingers.My face is still hot, and so are her fingers, hotter than my face in the cold winter, almost burning me.I can't push her.

I looked down at her and wanted to touch her long hair, but my limbs were so sore that I couldn't lift my hands or move my legs.

She tiptoed lightly, holding my face with both hands, and carefully brought her bloodless lips close to my face, feeling cold for a while.

Jiang Ming, Jiang Ming.

My throat was so hoarse that I couldn't respond to her.I couldn't call her Ann, couldn't give her a hug.Think about the corners of her clothes that were blown up by the wind, but it looks like a wooden man cast a spell, her body is stiff there, she can only feel her own heartbeat, full of joy, anger, sorrow and joy, but she will never move.

Her lips are against my face.Fade away soon.I was the only one in the white world, and it was dark in an instant.

I woke up.Warm tears flowed down the cheeks and into the neck, icy cold, like Lu Yian's kiss in a dream.I was lying on the bed in Lu Jiang's small room, and she was sitting beside me.

"Why don't you wake up, I thought you were going to sleep until dawn."

"Am I drunk? Your mocktail"

Lu Jiang looked at me with an apologetic expression on his face: "I'm sorry, I didn't know you could drink so badly, but you just put some vodka secretly."

"Is it okay if I'm drunk?" I rubbed my head and asked her.

Lu Jiang looked at me with a serious expression and didn't speak.I heard a bang in my heart, and my heart trembled.

"Did I do something? Where's Lu Yian?"

"Jiang Ming, do you really not remember?"

I covered my head, my heart was trembling.

"I told you not to like Sister Yi'an. Do you know what you did today? You pulled her by the collar, kissed her face in the crowd, and said you liked her, didn't you Seeing that moment, Sister Yi'an's face turned pale."

"Why?" The severe pain in my head made me unable to even speak. I didn't believe what Lu Jiang said, but when I thought of the cold touch on my face in that dream, I couldn't help but believe it.

"So, is she angry?"

"How can Sister Yi'an be angry? She has always been such a gentle person, but Sister Qinghan is very disappointed."

"Jiang Ming, Sister Yi'an treats you like a younger sister, and Sister Qinghan treats you like this, but you shouldn't like Sister Yi'an."

Lu Jiang's words were like knives, piercing my heart one after another. I thought about the disappointed expression on Lu Yi'an's face, and Chen Qinghan's disgust when looking at me, so my tears flowed down the corners of my eyes, Wet Lu Jiang's pillow towel.

I ask her. "Is there no one else who likes Lu Yi'an except me?"

"Yes, but there is no one like you who goes to her house every weekend and asks Sister Qinghan to feed you. She really treats you as a sister. You don't know how precious Sister Qinghan is Lu Yian, she won't Let a grain of sand appear between them. Jiang Ming, don't like Lu Yian."

"What about you? You can like Wang Xiaoyu, why can't I like Lu Yi'an, whoever I like is my freedom." I retorted, using a sharp sword to open her unhealed wound.Sure enough, Lu Jiang panted heavily as I expected, as if he had been hit hard.

Seeing her distressed appearance, I finally couldn't help but burst into tears.

"Lu Yi'an will hate me from now on, she will always avoid me, but I love her. I love her every step I get close to her. Maybe I shouldn't come to Beijing in the first place, I stay far away from her, slowly I will forget her, but I let myself go and come to her step by step, not only like her, but I love her."

"Jiang Ming..." Lu Jiang leaned over, ready to hug me.But she has been hurt by what I just said, and she looks weak.I hugged her tightly.

"Lu Jiang, will Lu Yi'an hate me more and more in the future? Chen Qinghan doesn't want to see me, and she doesn't want to see me either. Lu Jiang, I love her."

I cried bitterly on Lu Jiang's shoulder without any restraint, and wiped all my tears on her T-shirt.I feel guilty and afraid.What's more, I'm afraid, I'm afraid that Lu Yi'an won't approach me again, and I'm also afraid that I will see her.At this moment, if I want to meet her eyes, I will not have the slightest courage.

"Jiang Ming, I'm sorry."

"Jiang Ming, I'm sorry. Actually nothing happened." Lu Jiang pushed me away.

"You are very quiet when you are drunk. You are a good girl. Sister Yi'an scolded me and told me not to give you any more alcohol. Jiang Ming, look, she still cares about you very much."

"Really?" I let go of Lu Jiang, held her shoulders and looked at her, stared at her, and looked at her calmly without any emotion.

"Really, but Jiang Ming, this is a possibility, it will only get worse. When it comes to love, no woman can tolerate a grain of sand in her eyes."

"It hasn't happened yet."

very nice.

I don't blame Lu Jiang.

Take a long breath to calm yourself down.

"Jiang Ming, I'm sorry. I just hope you don't like Sister Yi'an so much. I don't want to see you get hurt."

"Actually, you are afraid that I will intervene in their feelings and hurt Sister Lu and Sister Qinghan."

"Yes, I really hope so. It's not easy for them now. You also know that Sister Yi'an broke two ribs for Sister Qinghan, and the old injury has healed up to now. So, I hope they can be well and continue to get better. .”

"If you can't get happiness yourself, do you entrust your happiness to others?" I sneered.

That night, I was cold, selfish, and bitter because I loved my instinct.

"Will they be happy without me? It's as if I am the only person in this world who can destroy their love. Lu Jiang, you know, no matter how good they look on the surface, they are just avoiding the huge problems they will face in the future. "

"But they love each other. Jiang Ming, Lu Yi'an will never love you, I promise."

"I love her, but I didn't ask her to love me. Haven't you read a letter from a strange woman? Let alone me."

Lu Jiang didn't speak, and I didn't dare to look at her.At those times, I felt guilty in my heart, and there were still many moral constraints in my young heart. The better they treated me, the less I dared to be a little frank in love.I am cowardly and timid, I can only turn the unhappiness in my heart into words to hurt Lu Jiang who can embrace me at this moment.

"I'm sorry, Jiang Ming." She apologized again, and she always apologized.

I looked away from her.I pretended not to forgive her.

"But I promise you, from tonight on I will try not to like Lu Yian, and try to stay away from her, because I also hope that she can be happy forever."

At least, I hope that Lu Yian can always be happy like a child.I haven't seen her sad, and I haven't seen her heartbroken, so it's best not to see her.

That night I slept on Lu Jiang's bed, with my face stuck to the drenched pillow towel, so I didn't sleep well all night.Lu Jiang sleeps on the bed of her roommate, who I have never masked. My back is facing her, so she should be like this.This kind of discomfort lasted until the next day at dawn, and I left her small room, looked back at her, and lay motionless under the quilt.

I left Shanghai alone.

I don't know if Lu Jiang pretended to close his eyes to see me leave, but I didn't say goodbye to her, nor did I say sorry.