Nancheng, nothing old.

Yian.

I leaned against the window on the train, silently calling her name in my heart.The green leather car going north to Qiqihar is full of people in the hard-seat car.Fortunately, I got a seat by the window. I wear earphones and my favorite songs, which can block some external noises.The lively noise, the flustered dislike, to be honest, since I met Lu Yian, happiness has become easier and easier, but sadness has also become easier, my emotions can no longer be pure.

Passing the villages in the north, the wilderness in the outskirts, the trees with sparse branches, and the mountains of Huangshi exposed.Yian.

I really came from the south to the north.Across the winding river, came to Hua

North Plains.The endless plains are getting farther and farther away from my southern town.

Autumn is coming in the northern cities, the sky is still so blue and clear, and the patches of white clouds always give people room for imagination.I think of what Lu Yian said, when she was in the city, it would not rain in early winter, the sun was shining brightly, and the clouds in the sky were like horses, like fish, like many beautiful things that we were looking forward to in our hearts.

Through the dirty glass, I looked at those beautiful things, the clouds in the sky, like Lu Yian's pigtails.I wiped and wiped with a paper towel, and I couldn't wipe off the dust that had accumulated over the years.

When does your shadow appear in the window glass?Your smile, my familiar face.

Ian, I close my eyes and watch.

The song in the earphones said: "Your silhouette in silhouette is so beautiful, I dare not look at it until I hold back my tears."

I went back to Beijing, and since then, I haven't contacted Lu Yian for a long time.

When you really decide not to meet someone, there are always many reasons.

At first, Lu Yi'an even called me, saying that your sister Qinghan made a lot of delicious food.I always think of many reasons to refuse, such as writing a small paper this weekend, my friend’s birthday this weekend, my roommate’s day this weekend, and club activities this weekend.

I always have many reasons to convince myself not to see you, but there is no reason for me not to love you with peace of mind.

At first, it was like this, but after a long time, there was no news.

I didn't contact Lu Jiang either, I only chatted with Zhang He occasionally and didn't mention her.Zhang He and Su Yan are very good. Even if they have been together for many years, they are as sweet as a period of passionate love. They only occasionally hear some troublesome things from her. A 25-year-old young woman with a stable job is facing nothing but marriage.

She used to say that she was lucky to be only 25 years old.

But next year, this year?Sometimes I would ask her this way, and she would tell me in a moment of contemplation that Su Yan would spend it with her no matter what.With that person by your side, you will have the courage to overcome all difficulties. The difference between one person and two people is that you can hug each other when you are sad, and take care of each other when you are tired.

She always said this in a gentle voice, and I can imagine her smiling faintly over the phone.

However, later we understood that when we were young, we always used to exaggerate the power of love, but one day we will always be down-to-earth with luck or misfortune, because everyone is such an ordinary person and wants to live an ordinary life.

I haven't seen Lu Yian for a long time, I tried my best to stop thinking about her.I tried to do many other things in the past, but there was always some trajectory in my life that connected to her.In my spare time, I practice calligraphy on the desk in the dormitory. The copybook is still the "Mysterious Pagoda Stele" that Lu Yi'an gave me when I was in high school.But I can't practice well no matter what, the handwriting is crooked, and when I feel irritable, I crumpled a ball of rice paper and threw it away, which is a waste.In my spare time, I went to the basketball court alone and started to learn how to play basketball.Sometimes I think, how can I like her and become like this, unconsciously doing what she likes, wanting to be like her.Some people say that two people who love each other will eventually become more and more alike, but we are not in love.So my interest in calligraphy didn't last long, but I kept learning basketball.

So in the winter of 2009, I had my first boyfriend in my life.The boyfriend's surname is Zheng, and his first name is Zhou Yang.Zhengzhou Yang, the name is a good name, I remember it once I heard it, and I am also a good person, both internal and external, 1.8 meters tall, muscular, a member of the school basketball team, an ordinary person with a good personality, and treats female students Always gentle, very popular with the majority of women in the school.His smile is full of sunshine, similar to Lu Yian, when he treats others, he is gentle and polite, like a gentleman, when he is on the court, he always bursts with endless vitality.This kind of him has many similarities with Lu Yi'an.We often talk and laugh, if Lu Yian is taller and wears a robe, when she is serious, she will look like a modest gentleman, charming.

At least in my heart, Lu Yian is like this, when he is quiet, serious, laughing like a child unscrupulously mischievously, and when his eyes are full of pure love and happiness, he attracts me.

However, my association with Zhengzhou Yang was not because he was so similar to Lu Yian. Although it was this reason that made me want to get close to him, but because of this, I also wanted to alienate him, but he still became the first boyfriend in my life. .

I knew him on the basketball court.

When I didn't contact Lu Yian again, I liked to go to the court all afternoon. In winter, there were few people playing. Sometimes I was the only one on a court, and I repeated monotonous practice dribbling.I thought, in the summer, I will probably be able to play basketball, and I can be with Lu Yian. In high school, I often pestered her to teach me how to play, but I never had a chance.I know that she likes girls who can play basketball, so I spent a lot of time doing this thing that I might do with her in the future, although at that time I hadn't thought about when I would see her next time.

I met Zhengzhou Yang on the basketball court.He smiled and said, "Students, do you want to play together?" He laughed, the way he spoke, he really looked like Lu Yian, of course he is much prettier than Lu Yian, I admit that my mind fluttered for a moment, FORHER.

He taught me how to play, I was definitely a serious student relatively speaking, we gradually became good friends, then boyfriend and girlfriend.From the moment I agreed to him, I knew that I could probably meet Lu Yian in an open and aboveboard manner.I admit to my momentary meanness, and to this day I still find it mean to cheat on the feelings of someone of the opposite sex in order to hide one's sexuality.

I tried to alienate him, I told him the truth.I said you are like the person I used to like, so I like to be close to you, but I am not with you because you are like him, but because I want to give myself a chance, will you forgive me?

He said with a faint smile, yes.

See, it's so similar again.Lu Yi'an is also like this, he likes to confuse others with a harmless smile on his face, talking with people gently, and lovingly forgiving others' mistakes.

I try my best not to fall in love with anyone who looks like that person. I can't help thinking of what Wang Xiaobo said, Chinese intellectuals always want to mold themselves into saints.

But no matter what, Zhengzhou Yang became my boyfriend, and I called Lu Yian on that weekend.

"Sister, I'm in love, bring him to meet you?"

"Okay, you haven't been here for a long time, let me treat you to dinner, dating in college is very good, may I help you check?"

I called Lu Yian from the balcony in the living room. The moonlight in the cold winter was cold and the heating was insufficient. My heart was trembling, and my fingers ached from the cold.I talked to Lu Yi'an a few words, I can't even remember what I said, but after I hung up the phone, I couldn't help sobbing under the quilt, as if there was no one else around, crying louder and louder.

All my roommates knew that I was in love with Zhengzhou Yang, and they thought something was wrong with us, and they all came to comfort me.I'm curious that he and I just started dating, and we haven't passed the period of passionate love, how could it be like this.

I said: "The person I liked in high school, she has a girlfriend, and I have a boyfriend now, and we live separate lives that don't intersect anymore."

They said: "Jiang Ming, it's all going to pass, just cry. You're fine now, Zhengzhou Yang is such a good boyfriend, you will forget about him." I know the old sayings, they will all pass.It is only two years since I met Lu Yian.

Zhang Xiaoxian said that the best way to forget someone is time and a new love.If you can't forget, it's because the time is not long enough, and the new love is not good enough.

Besides, I didn't love Lu Yi'an as much as I thought.

I took Zhengzhou Yang to meet Lu Yi'an, and I said that she was a very good sister in my family. He was serious and dressed a little maturely.Hearing that Lu Yi'an loves books, he deliberately picked a hardcover book in the bookstore next to the subway.

We went there on a Saturday night and arrived around eight o'clock. It was already dark at that time. Lu Yi'an was wearing thick light blue home clothes and went downstairs to the garbage, just in time to meet us.Her hair was disheveled, and she wore loose cotton slippers.

She said, "Hello, Jiang Ming."

I jokingly said, "Living with Sister Qinghan, I instantly gained a sense of taste in my clothes, and I am no longer the kind of old lady's clothes."

She looked at me and tickled my fingers.I leaned down, and she whispered in my ear, "Qing Han bought couple clothes."

It's disgusting to see her smug.I pulled Zheng Zhouyang's clothes and dragged him to the front.

"My boyfriend, Zhengzhou Yang."

Lu Yian communicated with him politely, walking while talking, I was beside Lu Yian.The content of the chat is nothing more than how I met him and so on.When we arrived at Lu Yian's nest, Chen Qinghan happened to be arranging the meals.

"Yi'an, go change your clothes and go out to eat."

She said this to Lu Yi'an, then smiled at Zheng Zhouyang and me, and asked us to sit on the sofa and wait.

Zhengzhou Yang was not a peaceful boy, he sat next to me and underestimated me in a low voice: "That sister is so beautiful."

It is obviously irrational for any man to praise another woman in front of his girlfriend.But he knew that I would not be angry, so he praised Chen Qinghan unscrupulously, and despised me by the way.

After Lu Yian changed his clothes, we started to eat.Lu Yi'an introduced Chen Qinghan to Zhengzhou Yang as "a cohabiting friend."

He didn't understand the meaning of this word, and he envied Lu Yi'an for having such a beautiful roommate who was good at cooking.

His rather handsome appearance and good personality make him very popular with girls, and Chen Qinghan is no exception.After dinner, he and Lu Yian watched NBA replays in the living room, while Chen Qinghan and I washed dishes in the kitchen.

She said: "Nice boy." She looked at me quite meaningfully.

I repeated the action of wiping the bowl with a rag in my hand and nodded.

"pretty good."

Chen Qinghan took the bowl in my hand. "I hope you will always be in the state of sweetlove."

"Thank you, Sister Qinghan, and I hope you and Sister Lu will always be happy."

Chen Qinghan had a quiet smile on her face, which was very similar to Lu Yian's at the moment.

"Of course. By the way, Jiang Ming, do you think Zhou Yang and Yi'an are alike."

Her words slowed down my heartbeat by almost one-third, and I could hardly hear the heartbeat. The surrounding was very quiet, and there was no sound of water. She was waiting for my reply.Without daring to stay, I said with a playful smile: "Zhou Yang is more handsome than Sister Yi'an, taller than her, and better at playing basketball than her."

My words made Chen Qinghan burst into laughter, and she quickly shifted her attention to Lu Yian. She began to tell me many things about Lu Yian, such as the embarrassing things that happened because of her height, and before she was injured, Was so crazy about basketball.When talking about this, Chen Qinghan was very depressed, she turned around and looked at Lu Yian on the sofa facing the kitchen door.

I watch it too.

She wore a ponytail and sat cross-legged on the sofa. She had a great conversation with Zhengzhou Yang, with a smile on her face all the time. When she was excited, she would even point fingers. She didn't feel that she was sitting next to a man she met for the first time. .

She is very happy.

There was also a smile on Chen Qinghan's mouth.It was a smile from the heart.The corners of the mouth kept widening, and the eyes were crooked, which seemed to hide some sadness.

She said, I would like to love her forever like a child, if I can really hope that she will never grow up.

"Sister Qinghan, may your wish come true."

I lowered my head and said to her in a cheerful tone.

It is always easy to spark sparks between rivals in love, just like this, I have no desire to communicate with her anymore, saying that no one wants to.

I didn't say a word to Lu Yian that night, and I wanted to catch the last subway with Zhengzhou Yang.When he left, he was obviously reluctant because of an unfinished game.

There were not many people on the last subway on Saturday, Zhengzhou Yang stopped me and leaned on his shoulder.

"Jiang Ming, sleep for a while if you're sleepy."

"not sleepy."

I tried to sit up straight and not get too close to him, but he put his arms around my shoulders, not very strong, but made me feel suffocated, and I took his hands off my shoulders, also compromising Lean on him.

"Jiang Ming, how old is Miss Qinghan?"

"In 85, I just passed my 24th birthday."

"Jiang Ming, sister Qinghan is very beautiful."

"En." I don't deny this, she is one of the few beautiful girls I know, since I saw her in Lu Yi'an's photo.

"Does she have a boyfriend?"

I moved my head away from his shoulder, looked at him and said, "Why, what do you think?"

"I already have you." He turned his head to look at me, that affectionate look made me uncomfortable, my stomach hurts, I felt that the food I just ate at Lu Yi'an's was rolling in my stomach, and I was about to blurt out at any time, so I had no choice but to turn my head and not To see him.I couldn't look him in the eye, too honestly, contrary to me.

He thought I was angry, and hurriedly said: "I don't like pretty girls, no, I'm not saying you're not pretty, and she's not my type, I just want to introduce the senior to her, the senior likes it A girl who can cook."

At this moment, I regained my bitterness again, and sneered, "You don't have to think about it, she already has a very good partner. They have been in love for many years, not to mention how good that person is, it's just based on her love for Qinghan." Sister’s love, it’s hard to find anyone else in this world.”

"How do you know there is no one better than him in the world."

"It's just gone. She likes her more than anyone else, she will always only have her in her eyes, her joys and sorrows will always be related to her, and she is willing to do anything for her."

"It's not very manly. But you girls like that."

I pushed him away.

With a sore nose, I couldn't help but shed two tears, it was still FORHER.

This kind of love, this person, no matter how well described it is, it has nothing to do with me.I lowered my head and quickly wiped away my tears, afraid of being seen by others.

"Okay, stop talking, I'm sleepy and I'm going to take a nap, call me at the station."

That night Lu Jiang called me.Just open your mouth, Jiang Ming, I'm sorry.

She knew from Lu Yi'an that I had a boyfriend, so she thought that because of what happened that night, I fell in love with a boy casually.While the truth has something to do with that too, I'm not such a casual person.

I told her, I am not a homosexual, I just like Lu Yian, since she is no longer possible for me, I shouldn't let myself suffer forever, should I? .

She still doubts my intentions.

I smiled and said: "Lu Jiang, my boyfriend is a handsome guy. He is gentle and considerate, and he is meticulous. He is a person who makes me feel safe. The important thing is that I like him. I like to play basketball with him and go to school together. Study room, let’s go shopping and watch movies together.”

"Jiang Ming..."

"Come to Beijing when you are free, and I will introduce him to you."

"I don't know what you think in your heart, but I just hope that you won't be stupid for a while and do things that make you sad."

"I will not."

"Jiang Ming, I still have to apologize for what happened that night. You haven't contacted me since then. I thought you were angry."

"I did get angry, but it's not a big deal, we're still good friends, aren't we? I'm not bad now, I'm just getting started, don't expect too much. But come and see me early, you'll see him."

It was the end of December. Relatively speaking, I can't say it's good, but I can't say it's bad.In the following days, everything was submerged in the exam week. I sometimes went to see Lu Yian, but because of what Chen Qinghan said about her resemblance to him, I dare not take Zhengzhou Yang there again.Although that Ms. Lu who is so mad always asks me about him and me every time, she always thinks that we will be fine, and avoids mentioning Lu Jiang in front of me.

If the misunderstanding is also like this, let's continue to misunderstand like this.I am waiting for the day when the truth will be exposed, and I only hope that day comes late enough that many loves and many people can fade out of our lives naturally.

The author has something to say: I like the beginning of this chapter very much.

The outline of you in silhouette is so beautiful, I dare not look at it until I hold back my tears