Nancheng, nothing old.

"Jiang Ming, thank you for telling me that I really like that girl. She is very attractive, but that has nothing to do with love. Apart from love, we always have friendship or other things. Jiang Ming, if you can, please take care of me Is she okay, I'll talk to her later to clarify this matter."

I don't know how long she's waiting, but she probably can't wait.I hung up the phone and found a nearby theater to watch the movie "Tears of Allure", which will be released on the [-]nd. I waited for Lu Yi'an to call me to let me go back. The wait was two hours.It's not an interesting movie, but it's probably because I couldn't watch romantic movies that night, and I didn't see the content to a certain extent, but I just kept crying and felt very sad inside.Fortunately, the cinema was dimly lit and no one noticed me.When Lu Yian called me to go back, it was twelve o'clock in the morning, and I walked back with my head buried in the hat of my down jacket.Seeing her, it was red eye to red eye, and she cried too.

She asked me what was wrong, and I said I went to the theater to watch a sad movie.

"What movie"

"City of Tears."

"I went to see it a few days ago. In order to write a film review, I didn't cry a tear. It's probably a few years older than you." She smiled. Although her eyes were red and there were tears on her face, her mood was obviously happy.

We sat on the sofa with our legs crossed, turned on the TV, and played programs casually, but no one paid attention.

"She called me just now. She said that she ignored me recently and wanted to come back to accompany me sooner."

"I just said, Sister Qinghan won't fall in love with others."

"I'm really in a bad mood recently. I've been writing a column and watched some depressing books and movies. In addition, I'm so worried about Qinghan. Maybe outsiders will think I'm making a big deal out of a molehill, but I'm really worried. Without Qinghan, I will I probably won’t be able to survive, but if I let myself survive, I’ll be like a walking dead, and I’m afraid I’ll die of depression.”

She said, I am so afraid of death.But if you can't survive, you can only let heart disease and depression die.

This is similar to me.

"But I probably won't be able to sleep tonight."

I looked at her, and she grinned and said, "Because I was so excited." That look was a little bit of the look I loved at first, and I looked at her, unable to move my eyes.

"By the way, Jiang Ming, I haven't asked how you are doing this year."

"Suxin."

"what?"

"Han Suxin, do you still remember? I'm going to be with her now." I said with a smile.

She said quietly: "That is a beautiful girl."

Let me push her, don't worry about it, Su Xin is mine.

"By the way, Jiang Ming, do you still like Lu Jiang?"

She stared at the TV and asked me, there was an ad for Pepsi on the TV.

"Sister Lu, stop pretending. You know that I like you, you have always known, don't you? Don't worry, I don't like you anymore. I only liked you when I was young and hadn't seen the world."

Lu Yi'an chuckled: "Then you have seen the world now."

I nodded: "I've met Han Suxin, she sings so well and is so beautiful, she might be famous if she participates in a talent show in the future."

"By the way, when did you know." I couldn't help but ask her. I always knew she knew everything, but everyone was tacitly loving.

"During the National Day of your freshman year, when you came to Shanghai to look for Xiaojiang, you kissed me while drunk. I told them not to tell you."

"why?"

"Because, because you are like me in the past. Jiang Ming, from the first time I saw you, I felt that you were so similar to me before. I tried to pretend that I was lonely. In fact, you don't have many friends, right? I used to No, since I came to Beijing and before I met Qinghan, I was always a lonely person. I was seventeen or eighteen years old, and I always liked to write some melancholy words, pretending to be happy and carefree to cover up my inner secrets. I want to take care of you, guide you, Help you. At that time, when I was very young, I really hoped that there would be a senior in my life who would guide me and not be so confused. I think you were the same at that time, so I want to do my best to take care of you , because I feel sorry for me who was lonely and helpless when I was young."

I must have cried, my eyes are too sensitive, I have been crying, simple tears, like sand in my eyes, my heart doesn’t hurt, I’m not sad, I just want to cry, but fortunately Lu Yi’an keeps talking, even though there is a lot of trouble between us Very close, but she never looked sideways at me.

"The first time I knew that I liked a girl, I was scared, sad, and even hated myself. I don't know what you are like, but I don't want you to know that I understand everything. If you say it, I will definitely reject you. You will shrink back and embarrass yourself for the sake of self-esteem. When I saw you with that boy, I was worried at first. Some girls will go to be with boys after they find out that they are gay, and do things that make themselves regret. But then I found out that you actually liked that boy too, and I thought, maybe you're just temporarily infatuated with me, maybe you're not gay at all."

"I am, although I try to deny it, but I was born. But no matter what, it's over. I'm with Su Xin now, and I can't keep talking about the past."

"We will take the final exam on January 1th. I will stay here with you for a few days. I will follow Sister Qinghan's order and make you fat."

Lu Yi'an didn't deny my words, but he had a smile on his face.That night, I still slept in her bed, sleepless all night.As for her, I don't know if she suffered from insomnia because of overexcitement.

Everything is happy.

however.

affairs of the world.

It's never as simple as we like it to be. Sometimes misfortune comes like a drama, suddenly, and makes people feel in a trance. It's hard to tell whether it's a nightmare or a reality.

I was the first to know about Lu Yian's grandfather's death.At that time, it was my fourth day in Shanghai. Lu Yian still drank some wine and occasionally suffered from insomnia at night, but she miraculously ate and did not vomit anymore, but she ate less. It has been much better.She always talks about Qinghan, Qinghan, and my Qinghan at night, and she feels much happier, and her smile is more age-appropriate.But, at that time, I received the news of her grandfather's death.

Just like the article written by Lu Yian, when a certain friend died prematurely.

She said that life in the world is like a traveler suddenly.People who come to this world are just guests, and when they come, they are ready to leave at any time. The length of time is just a matter of fate between people.Think about it, what a sad thing it is, born in the midst of love and desire, come and go alone, die and live alone.

You, me, and him, were born alone, and died alone.Come naked, if you can, then go naked, the love in this world is more connected with the mother's umbilical cord.The rest cannot be retained.

We lose our loved ones, often when we don't know it, or maybe in our sleep.At that time, I thought, maybe I didn't have enough fate with him, so he didn't come to me once in my dream before he left.

It is always easy to talk about other people's affairs, but it is a painful tragedy for oneself.

At that time, it was like this.

Lu Yian was sleeping on the bed, I sat on the sofa and watched TV, the coffee table was turned into a vibrating mobile phone, it rang and rang, rang and rang, and it kept rushing, Lu Yian was sleeping soundly, without any response.The vibrating sound, like the siren sounded in wartime, made people panic.I picked up my phone and saw that it was Aunt Li's call, so I was relieved, thinking that Lu Yi'an would sleep in the early morning, so I answered it without authorization.

"Yi'an..." Aunt Li's anxious voice startled me, and my newly settled heart instantly lifted.

"Auntie, I'm Jiang Ming. Sister Lu worked overtime until after five o'clock last night, and she still hasn't woken up."

"Jiang Ming." Aunt Li sighed deeply.

"Jiang Ming, it's good if you're here. Her grandfather passed away, and I don't know how to tell her."

There was a clang in my heart, like being hit by a big clock.Lu Yi'an and her grandfather had always had a good relationship. The death of her grandfather broke the straw that had just been repaired.

Aunt Li was talking about the death of Grandpa Lu Yian, but I was absent-minded and heard it intermittently.

"Jiang Ming, who is looking for me?"

While talking, Lu Yian stood at the door looking at me with sleepy eyes, rubbing his eyes.I hung up the phone at once, still holding her mobile phone in my hand, feeling a little helpless.

"Is it my mother? I haven't called home for a long time. Grandpa has been in poor health a while ago. Give me the phone and I'll call back."

She held out her hand to me and waited for me to take the phone.

I took a deep breath and told her the fact that this kind of thing, life, old age, sickness and death, cannot be concealed.

Your grandfather passed away this morning.

Just in your dream.My words made Lu Yian turn pale in an instant, she slumped on the ground while holding the door, she didn't say a word, she just kept panting, and then started to cry big and big.

How quiet the room was, only the sound of Lu Yian panting, like an asthma attack, as if he would die at any time.I stood in the living room in a daze, holding Lu Yian's phone in my hand.I walked over to hug her, holding her head, her whole body was powerless to cling to my arms.

"Lu Yian."

This is the first time I called her name like this, but she didn't even look at me, she just panted and cried, I hugged her up, sat on the bed, and let her cry there, her numb and helpless appearance made me sad.When I went to the corridor, my father called and asked him to borrow 3000 yuan.Since I started working part-time during winter and summer vacations, I seldom asked my family for money. I knew that my father had opened a savings account for me, but I never asked him, nor did I have that card.

He was at work at that time, and he was happy when he received my call, but I just asked him for money.I said I wanted to go home, and begged him to lend me the money for the plane ticket, and begged him not to ask why, but if he could transfer the money to me as soon as possible, my father must have been very worried at that time, but I couldn’t care less, he was silent on the phone For a moment, reassure me, and then hang up the phone.

After calling my father for an hour, I received a text message from him.

"Jiang Ming, Dad Qian called you, bought a plane ticket, and told me what time to pick you up at the airport."

There was an air ticket for sale at the entrance of the community where Lu Yian lived, and he took the money and immediately bought two air tickets from Hongqiao Airport to City G at [-]:[-] pm.

When he went back, Lu Yian was still lying on the bed.Huddled into a ball, was facing me.I messed around in her bedroom, packed a few things I thought she needed, called Lu Jiang, briefly explained the situation to her, and asked her to help Lu Yian ask for leave.

She asked me, Jiang Ming, are you still unable to let go.

I said, maybe it's not that I can't let it go, it's just that I can't see Lu Yian like this and ignore it.

No one can bear Lu Yian's appearance, not to mention that I love her and have always been like this.

In those few days, I helped Lu Yian, served tea and water, and served the guests who came to the funeral. When her relatives asked her, they said they were good friends.I didn't call my father, but on the second day when I arrived at Lu Yi'an's house, Su Xin called, because my father told her about my borrowing money.One thought I had something to do at home, and the other thought I had something to do at school. The two faced each other, and they just broke it off.

However, Su Xin just mentioned to me euphemistically, hoping that I would not deceive my parents, her tone was sad.I lied to Dad, and I lied to her in silence.Lu Yian's grandfather passed away, and I accompanied her home to attend the funeral, regardless of my studies.There is no way to explain these words to Su Xin.

She was silent on the other end of the phone, waiting for me to explain, and I was also silent on the phone, not wanting to explain, and always waited until the time came, or someone was looking for me on my end, or someone was looking for her end, and hung up the phone.She is never afraid of the embarrassment in silence, and she is bound to ask me to give an answer.

Since she confessed, I don't know whether we are tacitly flirting with each other.I just run away when I can, I don't want to face it one day.