Nancheng, nothing old.

In March [-], Han Suxin and I were together.

In March, Lu Yian returned to Shanghai, working calmly and hard, waiting for her lover to come back; To become her real dream, she was exhausted in the hardships and busyness of life; in March, Su Yan was in Chongqing, starting a new life alone in her hometown, a familiar or unfamiliar city, and I heard that she did not go back; In March, in March, Zhang He lived a life I didn't know in that small city.

And I was in the north, in the coldness of early spring and March, in that city where only Suxin and I became lovers.

Don't ask about the past.

We still lived in that small house, we tore down the extra bed, and used Su Xin’s intern salary to replace it with a double bed. We slept together, and she liked to hug me at night, and I gradually fell in love with this feeling.She took the subway to work and left early and returned late. At that time, I didn't have many classes in my junior year. Su Xin made a small table for me and put it by the window so that I could focus on my review for the postgraduate entrance examination.I'm clumsy and don't know how to cook, so I usually cook in a rice cooker and wait for Su Xin to come back to cook.If I pass the exam, I will stay in Beijing for a few more years, which is always a good thing for me and her.On weekends, Su Xin took me to the bar, and she sang there when she was not busy, earning some extra money. There are many people who like her, since she changed to sing Eason Chan's songs.I like Eason Chan, Su Xin said, no matter where I can see it or not, I always sing a song of his, and sing it for me.

Su Xin is a person who knows how to be romantic. She bought a lot of sticky notes and sent me the lyrics of please every day. But at the beginning, we were not like a real couple. Su Xin was my first girlfriend. We rarely kissed. There was no other intimacy either.

During that time, I didn't have a part-time job, and I concentrated on taking the postgraduate entrance examination, and I relied entirely on the support of my parents financially.Suxin is not stingy with me financially, but I beg her, the cohabitation with unclear economics, please start after I start working or at least graduate, for the longer term, I hope we are equal at this moment, at least financially Don't let anyone pay too much.Su Xin agreed.

In May, Su Xin took a break, went to school with me, and was going to accompany me to class. Our fingers were interlocked. Su Xin's hands were big and slender. I liked the feeling of clasping fingers with her, and I didn't want to be separated for a moment.On a small campus, I met Zhengzhou Yang again, my unfavorable ex-boyfriend. After we broke up, we started to get along like ordinary friends. Afterwards, he probably felt that there was no possibility of reconciliation with me, and we gradually cut off contact.I held Su Xin's hand and met him and his new girlfriend beside the basketball court.

He frowned and looked at Su Xin.

I smiled and introduced to him: "Zhou Yang, this is my good friend Han Suxin."

"Lin Jiangming, are you gay? Is she your new girlfriend?"

He asked me bluntly, without any scruples, I saw Su Xin frowned, and his girlfriend looked at him unhappy.I took a step forward and invited him to change places, but he pushed me away and shouted: "What are you afraid of? If you didn't hear your roommate say that I don't know, why did you come to provoke me since you are gay?"

His voice attracted passers-by to stop and watch, and Su Xin hugged me behind him.

"Don't dare to admit it if you dare to do it? You are gay and you still want to play with my feelings." I pushed Su Xin away, walked in front of him, and apologized to him.Anyway, I felt sorry for him for being with him and then being apart.But some men are really strange. They don’t care about the thoughts of the women around them, and it doesn’t mean that he loves me so much. I have seen him talking and laughing with his new girlfriend more than once, and they are very affectionate, but now they are not reconciled to seeing me. .

"Zhou Yang, I'm sorry, I did like you a little bit at that time, but aren't you pretty good now? We are all good, don't mind the past, okay?"

"Lin Jiangming, you are disgusting."

There were quite a few people around, pointing and whispering to each other, but I couldn't hear what they said.Zheng Zhouyang's new girlfriend frowned and tugged on his sleeve, hoping to leave this place quickly, but he was unmoved and stared at me with a heartbroken look.

"Jiang Ming, I really can't figure it out."

"I'm sorry, Zhou Yang." Su Xin couldn't see me apologizing all the time, so she dragged me aside.

"Now that you have a girlfriend and Jiang Ming has me, can't you all have a good time?" He pushed Su Xin away, no gentleman at all.Su Xin fell to the ground, his girlfriend couldn't see him, she yelled his name, and left in a fit of anger.Zhengzhou Yang gave me a hard look, and then left.

There was a lot of discussion around, Su Xin was still sitting on the ground, I didn't know how passers-by would judge us, but at that moment I was annoyed, I liked someone openly, fell in love, and was not a street mouse, sneaking around.I squatted down and held Su Xin's hand, and kissed her, French kiss, I learned it while watching a movie, obviously Su Xin has more experience than me, we kissed in the crowd for 1 minute, and there was a lot of cheers around.No matter how much kindness or malice, I kissed myself happily, and walked away with Su Xin. It is 2012, and in the capital, I will never be expelled from school because of same-sex kisses.

Don't be afraid from the beginning, don't be afraid, don't keep thinking about waiting and waiting, don't always hope that others will create a harmonious environment for us, we always have to do something for ourselves, if there is nothing, at least we can For your own love and freedom, endure suffering.

From then on, Su Xin and I became more and more intimate.

From [-] to [-], the two years I spent with Suxin, after careful consideration and calculation, are probably the happiest two years I have ever been together. I live with Suxin.

In the summer of [-], Suxin graduated. At that time, I was still in school preparing for the postgraduate entrance examination, and Suxin became a member of the Beidiao family.Su Xin is from Hunan, she is a typical southern girl like me, her Mandarin is not very standard, and she is thousands of miles away from home among the busy and indifferent crowd, she often said that it is fortunate to have each other.At that time, the smog in Beijing became more and more serious. Suxin's ideal city was Shanghai and the south of Shanghai. She said, wait for me.If I pass the postgraduate entrance examination, we will stay in Beijing for a few years, if not, let's go to the south together.

On December 21, [-], Maya said that it was the end of the world. I just finished the English test the day before, and we went to her friend's bar to participate in the end of the event.

Su Xin often said, Jiang Ming, let's open a bar together in the future, and you will be the proprietress, responsible for collecting money and listening to the stories of passers-by.

Su Xin often said, Jiang Ming, we will live together every day from now on, how many songs I will sing for you, how many love poems you will write for me.

She sang for me in front of the crowd.

"Confidence Flower House is specially opened for you

Anyone who passes by you knows

Acknowledgments posted on Huapai Lidotu

The forehead is also printed with the words "the world is old"

She said, Jiang Ming, I really like you.

If, if there is no more trouble in my life, I am willing to spend my whole life with Han Suxin, starting from the age of 22.

In [-], many things happened.

Like me, I failed to get into Beijing Normal University in the end, and had to be tired of work and papers in the last days of the university.

Ru Suxin began to transform into a mature woman, and worked for a year to become the supervisor of a small department.

For example, Lu Yian, 25-year-old Lu Yian, began to be called a young novelist or young niche writer.

Lu Jiang, like me, was tired of graduation.She learned a lot while working as a director's assistant. For her graduation project, Lu Yi'an was asked to write a script and shoot a 10-minute sympathy story. Chen Qinghan participated in the performance. The broadcast time happened to be May 5th. spouse.For my graduation thesis, I boldly chose the research on homosexuality in Wang Xiaobo's literature.

Although we all encountered ups and downs because of our boldness, we both graduated successfully. Then I left the city of Beijing and chose a factory in the suburbs of Shanghai as an HR assistant for employment.I went in July, and Suxin in September, she tried her best to deal with it, and finally transferred from Beijing to Shanghai.

In July and September, we all left that distant northern city, and the dark smog dissipated. After seeing a few heavy snowfalls, we were finally returning.

Su Xin and I lived apart for a short time, everyone except me was in downtown Shanghai, and I went to the city on weekends to get together with Su Xin and meet Lu Jiang by the way.Chen Qinghan came back from studying and was in Shanghai with Lu Yian, but I don't know when they will go back to Beijing. I always consciously avoid Lu Yian, and I am always afraid of seeing her and Su Xin.But in fact, I was thinking too much. Before I knew it, Su Xin had met them several times.Lu Yi'an and Han Suxin, without me, they would appreciate each other.

I never went to see Lu Yian.

Such a city is no longer the city where Lu Yian and I were in the first place. There are many, many people, and there are several insurmountable streets between us.

In November, I was alone with Lu Jiang. At that time, the girlfriend next to her changed again. I don’t know how many times I became friends with her girlfriend.I told her, don't spoil the girl's feelings at will.She said that she treats every girl with true love, but the heartbeat is not long-lasting. Every time the heartbeat period passes, she can no longer live with others. The emotional window period.

She said that even today, she still often dreams of Wang Xiaoyu, who is sixteen or seventeen years old.Sometimes I dreamed that she grew up year by year, and once I dreamed that she was wrinkled and her hair was white.When he was fourteen or fifteen years old, he said that he would grow old together, and finally died in such a tragic way, which has always been something Lu Jiang could not accept.

For five years, she never forgot about her.Come to think of it, it was a blessing that I forgot Yu Jiahui so easily at that time.

I advised Lu Jiang to see a doctor.

Life is so long, Lu Jiang is just a 22-year-old girl, she should forget the past and start again. I don't want her to consume other people's feelings, let alone hurt herself.

"Jiang Ming, you don't understand. The reason I let myself live like this is because I never want to forget her. I want to love her forever and torture myself forever."

"But in this way, how many innocent girls have you hurt, they just like you."

"But there's no other way, I'll either live like this sickly, or die."

I insisted on asking Lu Jiang to see a doctor. How long can she torture herself like this?I whispered endless persuasion in her ear, but Lu Jiang pushed me away.

"Jiang Ming, how good do you think you are? You can't forget Lu Yi'an now. You will hurt the innocent Han Suxin sooner or later. Don't ask others from your own perspective."

Lu Jiang's words made me feel stuck in my throat, choking so much that I could only watch her walk away.She called Su Xin to come pick me up, and I complained about it with Su Xin, except what Lu Jiang said later.

Su Xin put her arms around me and comforted her, "Jiang Ming, Wang Xiaoyu's death has always been a knot in Lu Jiang's heart, but what worries Lu Jiang even more is that his lover, whom he completely relies on, has been deceiving him. I often hear you say that Lu Jiang, She was a little girl who didn't care about the world at that time, and she had a warm girlfriend in front of everything. She was so weak at that time. But her most trusted lover taught her in such a tragic way in a short period of time. She grows and makes her an independent girl. It backfires and usually leaves a legacy."

"But she can't be like this all the time, dealing with different girls, what's the difference between this and those scumbags."

"You have to tie the bell to untie it. It's useless for you to worry. Don't you always say not to meddle in other people's lives? Even if you are best friends, you shouldn't. Jiang Ming, let's live our lives well, don't Worry about others."

In winter, Lu Jiang and I didn’t have another appointment. Suxin didn’t go to work on weekends, so she came to the factory to sleep with me. When it got cold, neither of us had the desire to go out. I was too lazy to go out by car, so I asked Suxin to come over. Find me.

During the two years I was with Su Xin, she always doted on me, loved me and supported me. We have gradually become a couple that others admire and admire.We have to celebrate every holiday and do something different and meaningful. Suxin still insists on sending me a song of lyrics every day. At first it was a random post-it note, pasted in my diary, and later it was folded But in order to prevent me from being unable to take it apart, she would tell me that sentence, so I wrote in my diary: "On a certain day in a certain year, a certain month, a certain day, I love Suxin to say:"

I can't help her, and I often find some nasty love poems to share with her from books. She records them in the book like me: "A certain day in a certain year, a certain month, a certain day, I love Suxin and said:"

That was me and Su Xin, the romance between the two young and poor, but at that time I really loved her and my heart was so calm that I really thought, let’s live like this for the rest of my life, regardless of whether we can get married or not. Child, I want to spend every day with Su Xin in this life.

In this way, until the Spring Festival of 2014, I brought Su Xin home.