Nancheng, nothing old.

Su Xin and I were very nervous when we brought our girlfriend home for the first time.Fortunately, I told my family about this not long after I was with Su Xin.Both my parents love Su Xin, a girl with a beautiful face and a gentle face. In the past, they always talked to Su Xin and asked her to take care of me.Taking her to my house, my father came to pick us up in his car, and my mother did her best to cook a table of meals. In short, they loved Su Xin more than me, and they acquiesced in Su Xin's identity.My family moved to the city when I was in college, during which time I seldom came back. I have no friends or memories here.Su Xin said she wanted to visit my old school, and I took her to my hometown, the place where I lived for 17 years but didn't have many friends in the end.

Elementary school, middle school.The old style of the old street is still there, and the hawkers from many years ago are still there. I took Su Xin to introduce her my childhood life one by one. We went to eat my favorite Chongqing noodle restaurant. The streets passing by on a folding bicycle, the newly renovated houses, and the bookstore that has been open for many years and is being repaired, made Su Xin fulfill his wish and meticulously intervene in my memories.We stood at the school gate, looking at the old school gate from a distance. At this time in the past afternoon, when classes were in session, students crowded into the campus with students and teachers, but during the Chinese New Year, it was deserted and the iron gate was closed. , nothing, Su Xin and I slipped into the campus from a small gate, saw the teacher list, there were many young teachers I didn’t know, but there were also a few of my former teachers, so I pointed to the photo and gave Tell me some interesting facts about them.My childhood was pure and happy, and I am happy to show it to Suxin, but about my middle school, maybe some people knew me in the past, and I have no plans to tell Suxin about those pasts, including Jiahui.However, the city is so small, everything you want to escape will come to you so smoothly. In the past few years, I never thought that I would meet Jiahui, or that I consciously forgot about her, but that day, I held Holding Su Xin's hand, I met her while whispering in the crowd.

God said it was time.

Mr. Lu Xun said that a true warrior must dare to face blood.

No matter what kind of life it is, no matter how timid and fearful I was in the past, in the future life, I choose to face it one by one. In real life, I don't want to become more cowardly because of temporary fear.

Su Xin and I are on this side of the road, and that person is on the other side of the road.There is a sea of ​​people. To be honest, no one knows anyone. I don’t know that your heart is surging and there are many stories.I looked sideways, saw her just in time, and recognized her at a glance. Even if I haven't seen her for many years, her appearance will only stay in my mind for a second, and it will automatically transform into the familiar appearance of 17 years old.The moment I saw her, I was terrified, my internal organs sank quickly, and my heart was filled with emptiness and fear. I squatted down on the ground with my whole body covering my stomach.On the street, someone looked at me twice, and she went into a clothing store without knowing anything.Su Xin knelt down, put her arms around my shoulders and asked me what was wrong.I stared at that store, the memories of the past poured out like blood, the blood vessels burst, I was very scared, I was very scared, I wished that the sunny day would suddenly disperse, the world would be dark, and no one could see anyone without a spotlight.

But, Jiahui, that is the scar that I buried in my heart, and it has rotted inside. If I am in a hurry and cannot be treated, then how will I live in the days to come.

I took Su Xin's hand to stand up, asked her to wait for me, looked around the road, and quickly crossed to the opposite side.

Through the glass window, looking away from the figure of the model, I could vaguely see Jiahui's shadow. She was picking out a dark green sweater, holding it in front of her, and talking to the owner, with a smile on her face all the time.

I stood at the door, hesitating, hesitating, maybe I opened the door and went in, pretending to see her inadvertently, and said with a stiff smile: "Hello, Jiahui, long time no see." But we said goodbye in such a tragic way , when I don’t know whether she is alive or dead, I completely forget about her, I live a peaceful life, I secretly love Lu Yi’an secretly in my heart, ride a bicycle through strange streets, blowing the calm and pleasant wind alone, and then What was Jiahui doing at that time?What kind of suffering is she suffering? Is she like a flower, waiting for Twelve Young Masters and looking for news about him?

I thought, I, Yu Jiahui, was painful and unforgettable. When I thought of this, I blamed myself, feeling like a heavy weight was on my feet, how could I not step through the transparent door.

Is it really over?Many years have passed, many lives have been added, and I almost have to love a few people.

I still mustered up my courage, the rest of my life is very long, and it is rare to meet Jiahui, so don't delay it for a few years.I opened the door and went in. The shopkeeper looked over, and Jiahui also looked over. She still had the same oval face for many years, and her appearance was roughly the same as before, and I might be the same too.When she saw me, she frowned, then faded away.

"Jiang Ming!"

I nod.She picked up the dark green sweater, turned to the shopkeeper and said, "Wrap it up for me."

We didn't talk at all, and I stood aside and waited for her to pay.She went out of the store with her bag, and I followed her. The owner smiled and said, "Welcome again."

She stood at the door of the shop, stopped to look left and right, and I looked across, Su Xin was leaning on a concrete pole, playing with her mobile phone.

"Jiang Ming, let's go to the small hot pot in front of the high school, I'm hungry."

"Okay, wait for me, I'll go talk to my girlfriend first."

I don't know her expression at that time, when she spoke, she looked at Su Xin's side, and didn't care whether she should or not, and crossed the road again.

Su Xin put away her phone, raised her head and smiled at me: "Meet a friend?"

"Well, I have something to talk to her about. Can you go back by yourself? Come back and explain to you. "

Su Xin folded her arms and looked at me, looking serious, I was afraid she would get angry, but she raised her eyebrows and said: "Kiss me, let you go." I looked around, there were people coming and going, and I was too shy to do intimate things , had no choice but to make a booing mouth shape in front of her face.Su Xin pursed her lips and said goodbye to me.

When I went back, I found that Jiahui had been watching me for a long time.

"Jiang Ming, you have changed a lot, at least you are braver than before."

"Jiahui, I'm sorry."

"You don't need to say sorry, please treat me to a hot pot meal."

An old friend reunites, but I still have a grudge in my heart, but I dare not ask. I still remember that she loves mung bean sprouts and lotus root, hates coriander, and can't eat spicy food.Jiahui said, Jiang Ming, don't serve me. We have been separated for six years, and many things have changed.

They each talked about their lives for several years, but they dared not mention that I forgot her and let go of her. The simple love when I was young was not as good as the complicated love later.

"Jiahui, I'm sorry." It still started with these words. "I don't know what happened to you after that?"

"Jiang Ming, I woke up and my hands hurt after my head cleared up. I didn't see you. I was so scared that I thought I killed you. But my mother said, you didn't do anything, just like this after I committed suicide. Lost trace, they don't know about our meeting to commit suicide."

"I'm sorry, I was too timid at that time, I was so scared, I felt something burst in my mind, and I couldn't remember anything when I woke up. Jiahui, I'm sorry."

"Jiang Ming, I hated you very much at that time. I hated you until three years in college. I hated myself for not being worth it. I fell in love with a cowardly person like you. Now that I think about it, I really loved you with all my heart and soul at that time. And you just simply like it."

sorry.For a lot.I lowered my head, I couldn't swallow the food, but Jiahui was eating the hot pot slowly, it seemed like we were just eating, the words she said she hated me just now were so plain that it didn't affect her at all.

"Jiang Ming, I don't mean to blame you now. After all, I was ignorant before. I made a boyfriend last year. He has been chasing me since freshman year and knows everything about me. I am now in a state-owned enterprise. He will be transferred next year. Come here, we may be married soon."

"You..." "Bless you." I put down my chopsticks, but I couldn't even pretend to eat.

"Jiang Ming, I met you two years ago. I really hate you, but I'm fine now. You're doing well. You're not a child anymore. You won't be so stupid to ruin your life for love. .”

"Jiang Ming, it's great to see you getting braver."

After Jiahui finished her meal calmly, we went to visit the high school campus together.Except for the senior three students, the rest were on vacation. It was the afternoon, and she and I registered at the gatekeeper. The campus has been renovated, except for a few main buildings. The running track and the basketball court are half gone, and there are very few students in the school. Jiahui and I walked around the running track, talking about the past and memories of various places. She told me about her boyfriend, I talked about Suxin, and Zhengzhou Yang Speaking of Lu Jiang, Lu Yian is not mentioned alone.

It’s pretty happy, Jiahui is someone I miss, this time we didn’t hold hands, there was a distance of ten centimeters between us, and we occasionally rubbed our shoulders, but this time no one pointed at us and said, “Look! They are gay." "How can two girls fall in love?"

In 2014 and 2007, the times are very different. We have passed through a long time, and those irrelevant people will leave our lives with their injuries after all.

I bid farewell to Jiahui.

She said, Jiang Ming, I wish you happiness.

Whether it's with a boy or a girl, may you grow up brave enough to stand up for your joy and happiness.

When I got home, Su Xin was helping my mother in the kitchen, making dinner.I pulled her into the bedroom, and kissed her face for real. I told her about Jiahui, from the past to today.She supported my face and sighed: "Jiang Ming, you were really cowardly in the past. But it's okay, you have to be brave for me in the future." She hugged me tightly, this is my Suxin.

I loved Su Xin, when I was brave, I took her to meet my parents, I was very happy, I bid farewell to the past, I accepted other people's blessings, but in the end, I still broke up with Su Xin.There are many reasons, you can’t tell, I can only say it’s fate, just like when I went to see Lu Yi’an on New Year’s Day in 2012, I didn’t expect her grandpa to pass away, so I left everything and went back to my hometown with her. For her again, drop everything.

The so-called everything is called destiny.From the fate of stalking in the past, I thought that the seed was dead, but rotten flowers bloomed again unexpectedly. I have to torture others and torture myself, just to bloom again in my rotten heart and flesh, which is called once. Love, so far away, brings pain and ecstasy to the other side of the flower.

forgive me.

forgive me.

Forgive a charming mind of love, ups and downs, never once dispersed.

After the Spring Festival, Suxin and I prepared to go back to Shanghai on the seventh day of the lunar new year. We took the train for 28 hours and slowly went north, crossed the Yangtze River, passed the Yellow River section, and went north from Hangzhou. Come on, hope all the time with me is pleasantly slow.She wants to go to County J, which is a relatively happy place in my adolescent memories. I am reluctant. Ever since I was with Su Xin, I have been avoiding everything about Lu Yian. Sometimes I think of it, I failed the postgraduate entrance examination, Is it the same? If I didn’t get into the Beijing Normal University that I was thinking about in 2009, it will be the same four years later. Lu Yi’an will gradually fade out of my life.Furthermore, when Su Yan returned, Li Sumian was still in Chendu, and there would be no friends of mine in that city. I don't know what to take her to meet?

I am in J County, all the memories are the small house, corridors, balconies, and windows.He used to ride a bicycle to carry Lu Yian to the streets and alleys, braving the faint lights to go to the campus, basketball court, desks, and Lu Yian sitting on a small bench by the door.

But, what Su Xin said, how could she have the heart to refuse, she has such a pretty smile, her gentleness speaks to the hearts of the people.

She said, Jiang Ming, I want to go, to see the bar you mentioned.

Suxin and I took the bus there on the fifth day of the new year. There were only three buses in the morning and noon to go to J County during the Chinese New Year. We took the earliest bus to go. Suxin was happy and excited along the way. She expected more from that city than I did.Unfortunately, the first stop I took her to was "FORHER", but it no longer exists. The back door from the alley was not opened, and the wall that Lu Yian wrote "FORHER" was repainted. Passing through the street, there is a row of noodles in front, with glass windows and glass doors. It is a Dezhuang hot pot. The business is not good in a few years. There are only a few tables of people. The transparent doors and windows face the street, under the sun. .

Su Xin, it’s a pity that I can’t show you the secret base where I was stationed at that time. At that time, where Zhang He gave me extra lessons, Su Yan made non-alcoholic cocktails for me. Thinking about it, my heart suddenly ached. I still remember the first time I came here with Lu Yian and drank her bitter and choking LadyBeGood. I remembered that Lu Yian once handed me a square scarf, which I never returned, and that one who came out of the dark wearing jeans She said, "I am 27 years old. I don't have any great dreams. I just want to have a stable career, a long-term lover, and a stable life."But she went back. At the age of 32, she wandered fluently and returned to Chongqing alone. I didn’t contact her. I don’t know if she became stable later?Was it with the person she wanted in the first place?

My heart hurts badly.Covering my body and squatting down, a few tears were about to fall, Su Xin hurriedly supported me, and asked gently.

I said, because of Su Yan.After telling the story of Su Yan and Zhang He that I saw in these years, Su Xin helped me up and clasped my fingers tightly.

"Jiang Ming, don't be afraid, I won't leave you, I won't leave you when I'm 25, and I won't when I'm 35."

I believe that Su Xin certainly won't, but what about me?Duckweed with no fixed mind, when will it drift away with the waves?