[Spell Retaliation] Tunnel

Teacher Noctua came to see me. I thought I would be criticized for not being motivated enough to study, but who knew that he only cared about the relationship between me and my classmates.I dryly told him about the mission and was let go.

In spell education, practice is more important than theory.At the beginning of my enrollment, I was very afraid of the practical class, because my skills were not as good as others, and I was worried that I would be laughed at by the other three.Unlike the students at the same level, my spells are featureless and impractical. Gojo Satoru once inquired about the spells I used out of curiosity, and then he frowned, showing sympathy: "It's so troublesome." I momentarily speechless.I soon discovered, however, that while Gojo Satoru, who had a bad temper, would laugh out loud at my mistakes, he would do the same to everyone else.If I do better now and then, they all come together to express their admiration.

After most of the school year has passed, I have understood that no one will laugh at me, but I am still afraid of stepping into the practical class.I know that every success must be followed by dozens or hundreds of failures, and the next success will come without knowing when it will come.

Just be patient for a few more months.I told myself that as long as I got used to it, everything would be fine.

Time didn't make things better, however.We went to work as usual, and the other three always rushed forward aggressively. Usually, I was the only one who remembered to ask the assistant supervisor to set up the tent.On the way back, Wutiao teased me that I was an expert in cloth tents among the students of this year, but Xia You interrupted the second half of the sentence, and I just smiled.

Following behind the three chattering and laughing, I was still the only one returning with a pale face.And they have long been accustomed to this kind of reaction from me-Gojo Satoru even kindly offered to give me the miso soup while sitting in the fast food restaurant. "I can eat." I rejected his thoughtfulness viciously, forcing myself to swallow the smallest portion of lettuce bibimbap spoonful by spoonful.Click, click.There was a crisp, juicy crunch in my mouth of small slices of fresh leaves and salad dressing.It seems that the curse spirit covered with white exoskeleton was crushed today, and green blood flowed out.

I saw that curse spirit again in my dream, with only half of its head left, its barbed tongue still dripping with green juice stuck into my eye socket, pulling out clusters of flocculent broken organs.

I always dream about my own death.

Sometimes there are other deaths.The death of Nitro, the death of Teacher Noctua, and the death of family members who have not been in contact with each other for a long time.Only Wujo Satoru did not die, even in the dream world.One day, I dreamed that I was killed by Gojo, thrown into that dark tunnel, and covered in spider webs when I rolled on the ground.Xia Youjie was standing behind him with a smile on his face. As soon as they turned around and left, the huge curse spirit that always followed Xia You jumped up and gnawed off my head.

In class the next day, Gojo Satoru cared about me in a rare way: "You look so pale."

I ignored him, took out the textbook from my schoolbag and threw it on the table.The boy showed a very puzzled look: "What are you doing?" But I still didn't answer.As soon as the autumn rain passed, the sun became cold and bright, making it impossible for me to hide.

The nights had turned into an ordeal, and I was beginning to resist falling asleep.One night late at night, I wanted to try to review the spells I had learned during the day in my room, but I was afraid of damaging the things in the dormitory, so I ran lightly to practice in the empty yard.However, my homework review was not going well. I stopped halfway and started to reflect on the problem. Suddenly, I heard a loud laughter coming from my head. ——It is Wujo Wu.The boy sat on the roof, his short white hair was illuminated by the moonlight, he raised his sunglasses with one hand and looked at me with a happy expression: "What are you doing?"

"...Practice." I looked up at him, the night wind chilled my sweaty back from the nightmare, and I felt that I was cooling down quickly. "You are, what are you doing?"

"Look at the scenery."

"..." This man is really strange, "I'm going back."

"Hey, you're only halfway through your practice." He stopped me, "You made a mistake just now, didn't you?"

"……yes."

I was physically and mentally exhausted, so I put on an attitude of humbly asking for advice, "Then I would like to ask Mr. Wutiao, how should I change it."

His tone was disdainful: "How do I know. This is your problem, solve it yourself."

Ok.

I looked up to the sky, and there was a huge moon in the distance, which made people itch.Then I turned my gaze to the boy sitting on the roof, his thin white hair was like a cloud covering the moon: "What can you see when you sit there?"

"A lot of things." Gojo Satoru smiled, pretending to be mysterious.

After a while, he said again: "Although your hard work is touching, I think you should go to bed early. You are very short."

"..." I didn't answer, just looked at him.The boy has a good-looking face, even from a distance, I can still imagine what that face looks like when joking with a bright tone.Clouds flit across the shadow of the moon.The fragmented fragments of the dream played back in my mind again and again.I recalled the dream of being killed by Gojo, and felt as if I was gradually being flooded with calm anger. ——Why, why, and how can I interpret my classmates as crazy murderers in my dream?What am I afraid of?

"What's wrong?" Seeing me staring at him, the boy poked his head.

"...Gojo-kun," I blinked my eyes, "you are studying here, don't you feel bored?"

"?" He showed a puzzled expression, "What else? Should I go to conquer the world?"

I imagined that scene and thought it was a little funny. "That seems interesting too."

The boy didn't expect me to say this, and he replied after a while: "...you are strange enough."

I just smiled.

not like this.I looked at Gojo Satoru sitting in the moonlight, like a desperate believer looking up at the gods under the altar.Maybe there was a moment when I wanted to ask him for help, but I knew that no one could save me.

The tasks assigned from above are still indisputably passed on to us one by one.Because of special circumstances, Nitzi, who can use the reversal technique, is often sent to other missions as support, or to teach alone.And Gojo Satoru always walks with Xia You, and every time this happens, I become a person again.

The nightmare is still going on.I followed Gojo Satoru's advice and didn't go to the yard to practice in the middle of the night, as if I realized that the unaccustomed techniques would be difficult to get used to.Every night when I staggered back to my room and closed the door, I would jump into bed like a dying fish.Everything I saw during the day haunted me over and over again like a shadow. —I also saw a dead body today.very scary.Disgusting.But I don't know how long it will be before I can be freed from this kind of life.And, why on earth did I come to this deserted remote mountain to learn spells——

I suddenly found myself questioning something that I couldn't get to the bottom of it.

I felt that if I didn't solve this problem, I would not be able to let myself go, so I tried to communicate my ambitions with my peers: "Speaking of which, why did you two come to the high school to learn magic?"

It was Gojo Satoru who answered me with a loud "Ah?!", and then I suddenly realized that the question was really stupid, and wanted to change the subject, but he looked back at me, and then replied: "No reason. Jie—— It’s for that.” The black-haired boy walking beside him took his words with a smile and explained to me: “I want to learn spells and protect ordinary people.”

That's a really good answer.So I laughed too: "That's it."

"whispering sound,"

However, Gojo Satoru, who was walking in front, seemed very disapproving. "There are so many reasons. Do you have to find reasons for everything you do?"

"You don't understand Wutiao." I rarely took the initiative to answer the question, "That's a very important thing."

"what?"

"You two, stop arguing. We're already here." Xia You interrupted her friend's next words at the right time.I raised my hand and said hello to the assistant supervisor who was following me: "I'll just set up the tent."

That's a very important thing.It is a part of me, a small golden gear at the very heart of the machine.

But.Looking at the vigorous backs of the two boys, I thought darkly.I neither have their talents nor learn how to live freely, and I can only let the gears be constantly rusted.Why did I learn spells—?Is it the request of the family, or a trick of fate?Many years ago, I may have also longed for spells. I also wanted to fly into the sky or talk to animals, as if I could grasp the wonderful power to change my destiny.But not to fight, to witness death.

So I learned a little spell.I was lying in the ward, recalling to Gojo Satoru in a stiff tone.Just a little bit, but enough to make a child ecstatic. I believed that I must be gifted.

Are you a child?

Five jokes, I said, there is no one who learns spells who does not participate in the battle-what kind of magic do you think spells are?

yes.I took his jibes and I figured it out later.So the magic fails.

I finally learned that spells are not magic that makes people happy, but curses.A curse that must be fought against a never-ending nightmare for the rest of your life.The tool of survival becomes the most feared thing.But I have been in this river for too long, the water is up to my waist, and I can't turn back.

Coming out of the hospital where the mission was performed, Wujo took the two of us to find a place to have dinner.

On the way, we passed through a small park where a few children from school were sitting on the play equipment, laughing, screaming and playing.The dusk of late autumn was fleeting. Listening to their laughter, I suddenly felt a faint sense of strangeness, as if something was missing in me.In that battle just now, something that was taken for granted suddenly disappeared, so the evening wind whistled like it passed through the hollow in my chest.

"I want to eat strawberry cake." After a while, I suddenly suggested to the two of them.

"..."

The two boys walking in front looked back at me at the same time, and then looked at each other, as if I was surprised by the unprecedented request.Then it was Gojo Satoru who spoke first: "It's only been a few months, where can I get strawberries to make you a cake." "Satoru," the black-haired boy beside him interrupted him.As if to comfort me, Xia You smiled and suggested softly: "It's just the season of chestnuts, how about we eat Mont Blanc?"

"Okay." I didn't force it, and nodded happily.

Neither of them walked away, as if they were waiting for me to follow, so I took two trots.Xia You looked at me curiously: "What happened? Why are you suddenly in the mood to eat cake today?"

I shook my head: "I just thought of it suddenly. Anyway, I don't need any reason to do things. Someone said it."

"?It's not my business."

"Because you're a sweetie."

"I don't like eating strawberries. And why would anyone want to eat strawberries this season."

"Then do you want to eat later?"

"?" Gojo Satoru paused, "Eat, why don't you eat it. I don't hate chestnuts."

I laughed out loud: "Your preference is really arbitrary."

And Xia You just listened to our conversation, smiling all the time.

I really want to leave.

I smiled and looked happily at Xia Youjie with a soft expression and Gojo Satoru with puffy cheeks beside him who was buried in the cake.Silent screams turned to whimpers in my heart.I really want to leave.

Nitro found me next to the trash can, I was holding my mobile phone, and there was a white trash bag just brought over by my feet. "They saw that you didn't go back, and they were a little worried." Nitro explained to me, then looked at me again, "Are you okay?" I shook my head, "It's just a quarrel with my family." wiped his face. "Let's go back."

"Ms. Night Moth hasn't come yet," she blinked at me, "Let's go buy a drink first. If you are tired, you can take a rest."

I wrinkled my nose: "OK."

On the days off when I had no assignments, I once took a ride alone to a hospital in the city to see a doctor.I am a local, but I have not been able to adapt to this noisy city for many years.Curses are born from people's hearts, and places crowded with people are often full of resentment.I especially hate taking transportation, the subway passes through long black tunnels, as if there are countless glowing eyes shining outside the windows.

I saw the doctor, a middle-aged man about my father's age.He asked me some irrelevant questions. Under the silent gaze of adults, my panic and embarrassment seemed very childish at once.And I was broken and couldn't even explain anything to him about the curse.

"Let me prescribe you some medicine." He ended the interview very formulaically.

I stuffed the paper bag containing the medicine into my bag, and spent a lot of time going back to school along the mountain road. "Where have you been?" Wujo Gou was standing in the yard, holding candy in his mouth, and facing Xiayou who was aggressive.Seeing me, the black-haired boy withdrew his hand and said hello.

"In the city." I recognized this posture, and walked around the road, feeling drowsy, "You guys should stop fighting in moderation."

Later, we finally finished the final exams at the end of the year. There were two groups of four, one male and one female, and it was still my account for Gojo Wubu.Everyone has worked hard.Teacher Noctua announced to us that everyone can go back and have a rest.

That night, I had a good night's sleep for the first time in a long time.

I didn't go home during the New Year, and it didn't snow in Tokyo in winter, but there was a little rain. I watched the red and white party in the dormitory with the seniors who stayed in school.Teacher Noctua also came, and brought me a felt pink bunny as a gift. I picked it up and looked at it, and found that it had no magic power, it was just an ordinary doll.On the third day of the new year, I went to Mr. Noctua to learn how to make wool felt. The two of them poked their heads in the house with needles. Suddenly the door was swung open, and the bright, lively and brisk voice of the boy appeared in our ears. :"Happy New Year!"

I was so frightened that it took me a while to recover and found that it was the rest of the first-year students who had appeared in the room. Except for Gojo Satoru, the other two were carrying presents.Xia You put a beautiful white paper bag in front of me: "It's strawberry cake."

We had a tea party in the teacher's room.Teacher Noctua commented on our performance this year.He praised me and Nitro, but criticized the boys a few more words.Then the teacher suddenly turned to me: "Huajing, someone recommended you, and the higher-ups have decided that you can be promoted to the second-level conjurer in the spring of next year."

"what?"

"Congratulations." Teacher Ye Moth patted me, "You have worked hard this year."

"Congratulations." Gojo Satoru said softly while eating the cake.Xia You cut another piece of cake for me: "It's been a year of hard work."

"Ah, um...?"

"My family told us that girls want to eat sweets when they are sad." The black-haired boy looked at me with a smile, and the girl sitting next to me raised his head and added, "Except for those who don't like sweets."

"So hurry up and eat." Wutiao handed me a new fork, "Don't be sour on those who celebrate Chinese New Year."

"..." I took the plastic fork humbly, cut a piece of strawberry coated with transparent icing from the cake, and put it in my mouth. The sweet and sour fruit melted quickly in my mouth, soft and short-lived, a little cold.I don't want to think about magic and spells, curses and death, the future, the past or some meaningless reasons.So I forked another piece of cake and put it in my mouth, tears flowed down my cheeks and into the corner of my mouth, it was salty. "..." "Hanai...?" Noticing my strangeness, the white-haired boy holding a fork looked up at me.Another piece.I didn't answer, just crying and eating.With bite after bite, both the cream and the strawberry seemed to turn into a bizarre savory flavor.

By the time I finished eating, everyone just watched me softly and silently.

"……sorry."

I really want to leave.

"Let's do our best this year too." Finally, I said this.

But let's hold on a little, a little longer.I think, a glimmer of hope rose again from the bottom of my exhausted heart.At least spring is coming soon, and if the task ends early, I can enjoy the flowers with them.

Then, in that upcoming, hopeful New Year, I submitted my leave of absence.

The author has something to say:

*The character of Hanai comes from the lines that Wujo said to Hui: "Even if you are talented, you can't overcome this kind of disgust and fear, and you have seen a conjurer who is desperate and depressed halfway through."

*This article is called Tunnel, but it has little to do with Tunnel, basically I wrote it casually.In addition, it is not so much a five-article center as it is a memoir of life in a high school from the perspective of a bystander (?)

*Speaking of lettuce bibimbap, the lettuce bibimbap at すき’s house this summer is really delicious (just can’t eat it

* Halfway through writing, I really want to eat cake, nmdwsm

*The full text has been completed and will participate in CP at the end of the year

11.11 Modify BUG