[Spell Retaliation] Tunnel

After the annual vacation, I began to prepare for the conjurer promotion test.

The person who recommended me was a senior who had graduated for many years and had met him once or twice in school.I read the recommendation she wrote for me: careful, thoughtful, and very keen observation ability.ah.Holding the application form in my hand, I thought to myself, is this evaluating my ability as a conjurer or my character as a person.

Gojo Satoru, who was sitting next to me, took the form from my hand, held it in his hand and looked at it: "Not bad. It's quite suitable."

I was taken aback, and looked at him with pursed mouth: "See the line below, I'm very slender."

The boy laughed.

However, the ascension test was finally delayed for a month.My recommender died in a certain task before the exam, and when the news reached the school, it was like a snowflake that cleared before sunrise.The teacher had no choice but to run a separate test for me.There is no difficulty in upgrading from level three to level two, and naturally no one came to see me off.I was up before dawn to catch the bus before the morning rush hour.I didn't take that tunnel.Without Gojo Satoru, I wouldn't even dare to go through the tunnel alone.

Even so, something went wrong with the exam: the level of the curse was higher than originally predicted. ——It’s not a big strange thing, because there are many conjurers who died for similar reasons, including my recommender.

I looked at the curse spirit in front of me, and felt very absurd for my indifference.

I won, and I even managed to rescue a kid who was there.After finishing the mission, I moved to a nearby park. The rescued boy sat on the sand at my feet and cried loudly, while I just stood there and let him cry until the late arrival. The Assistant Superintendent finally arrived at our side.I noticed that he was followed by fellow students who had finished their mission and stopped by to see me.It was almost dusk.

"What's going on...?" Seeing my expression, Nitro was the first to run up to me.

"Ah," I opened my mouth and glanced at the crying child at my feet, "you must be scared."

"Oh……"

"That." I turned to the assistant supervisor who followed me, and said in a very light tone, "The level of the curse seems to be different from what I said before."

"Yes..." The tall man lowered his body to comfort the crying boy, without looking at me, "I'm very sorry."

"..." The light apology was like a painless needle prick.I stared at them, as if I was going to eat them alive, and stared blankly at the crying child in the arms of the assistant superintendent.I really don't have any more energy to use to anger, whether it's the negligence of the assistant supervisor, the noise of the boy, or the dozen pairs of eyes that kept turning on the head of the curse spirit just now, or today's trip late in the cold morning bus.I just thought: It turns out that normal people should react like this when they see the curse.

The sky fell.Listening to the crying of the boy next to my ear, I suddenly felt a little ridiculously powerless.

I envy him so much.

"Glass." After a while, I finally opened my mouth to call out my classmate's name, "...my arm is broken."

I've never felt so tired.

During spring break, I stayed home for a few days.However, before returning to school, I found that the felt rabbit I brought home and received from Teacher Noctua was missing.I ran to ask my mother, and she recalled it for a long time: Oh, that rabbit.Throw it away with your old clothes.Seeing my expression, she stared at me: Who told you not to take care of yourself and throw it away.

I went back to school early.The others hadn't come back yet, Gojo Satoru was playing games in the dormitory, I knocked on the door of the boy's room and asked him to have dinner together.Wujo sat on the ground, with many game boxes scattered around his feet, and he didn't wear his glasses, saying "wait a minute, I'll finish this game."It was sunny that day, so I sat on the steps outside the boys' dormitory for a long time, watching the afternoon breeze blowing through the fresh green atrium.

After a while, Gojo Satoru finally walked out of the room, and greeted me while wearing sunglasses: Let's go.Oh no, why did you come back so early...?

I didn't answer, I took back my feet basking in the sun under the steps, and stood up. "I want to eat eel rice."

sure.The boy closed the door.I know a good store.

We went all the way down the mountain, and the mountain was filled with the smell of cherry blossoms about to open.

During those months, it seemed like I was crying all the time at first.

After a long time, I started to be in a daze.I was in a vain, mechanical daze, as if trying to fill the sea with stones, but I have forgotten what I was thinking about.I just remember that the eel rice is delicious, every spine is roasted very soft, and the fish skin covered with sauce makes a crunchy sizzling sound when it is bitten.

There don't seem to be any spells that look like eels.I was very satisfied after eating for a long time, put down my chopsticks and said.

Gojo Satoru, who was drinking water, choked: What are you thinking about while eating.

When spring comes, I have several lovely juniors.Gojo Satoru loves to bully them, so the juniors often come to complain to us.He also always makes the teacher angry, and fights with Xia Youjie every now and then.When the boys were about to fight, Nitro took me out to buy drinks.The mountains are covered with cherry blossoms, and everything looks soft, warm, and bright.

Only I know.

Only I know that I do not and cannot forgive anything.Spring hadn't saved me, New Years hadn't, and that muddled promotion test hadn't.In the past, the senior recommender who had a double-sided relationship with me once told me: I think you can play more with your classmates, including the kid from the Wutiao family, they are all very good.However, looking at other people's vigorous smiling faces, I just feel like a clumsy clown.What can I say to them?Speaking of the nightmares that keep me awake at night, or some random association that seems to creep into my mind at any moment?

I think of the boy crying at my feet that day.I wish I could be him.I also thought of Gojo Satoru who was sitting alone on the roof. The moonlight of that night seemed to be able to illuminate my bleak and mediocre life.But the brighter it is, the more I want to leave.

It's summer.On the day of the sister school exchange meeting, I was blocked in the woods by a senior from the Kyoto school.

She seemed to have seen something, stood on a high place and carefully observed my behavior during the battle, then she landed in front of me and laughed: It's really interesting.

what do you mean?I feel uneasy.

I say you. ...You are not suitable to be a conjurer at all.She looked pitiful, and she was also at the same level as that Wutiao, so pitiful.

Seeing you like this, you know it in your heart, right?

What are you doing here?

I can't remember many things after that.

In the afternoon when the exchange meeting ended, I found the tunnel in the mountain by myself.I haven't seen it for a year, and it seems that no one else has walked here. Weeds are still growing at the entrance of the tunnel, and the mountain is full of insects.

After a long time, Gojo Satoru was the first to find me, and his calling came from afar: "What are you doing there?"

I woke up like a dream, turned around, and saw the boy urging: "Everyone else is looking for you."

"……it is good."

He glanced at me, hesitated to speak.A flock of birds flew through the woods, only a few fleeting black shadows could be seen.

The next day, I submitted an application for suspension of school to the principal.

Not long after that, I was hospitalized.The reason is very simple. My family and I had a big fight, and my mother asked me what you were going to do. I just said: I want to be hospitalized.

I'm so exhausted, it's like being drained from the inside out.At this moment, I sincerely just want to be admitted to the hospital. I lie on the bed like a dead body and look at the ceiling every day. Someone brings me food, I can eat liquid food, and when the weather is good, I can sit in a wheelchair and watch the sky outside.

Then I smashed everything in the room, and threw all the shredded books, photos, and clothes in the yard and burned them.The only good news is that because I am afraid of pain and blood, I never thought of hurting myself.

They stopped arguing with me, probably because they finally realized my abnormality, felt ashamed, and sent me away hastily.

So I got my wish and was admitted to a public hospital far away from home.

My world finally returned to silence.

For the first two weeks, no one came to see me.

In the third week, when the smiling Xia Youjie walked into my ward with a reluctant Wutiao Wu, I knew it was Teacher Ye Moth who sent them here.I didn't smile, and I didn't even bother to say hello to them, I just glanced at the two people who entered the room.Gojo Satoru seemed very dissatisfied with my deadly reaction: "We came to see you, please be happy."

"?" I looked up at him, and the boy's sunglasses slid down to the tip of his nose, revealing half of his blue eyes and looking at me.Then I tilted my head, and said a word of respect in a strange way: "Thank you."

Gojo Satoru was so angry that his face was crooked.

Xia Youjie, who was standing at the side, showed a gloating smile, and then he put the blue printed bag in his hand on my bedside: "We brought you dessert. There is also Wu's share in it."

"Ah." I turned my head to look, "Is it sweet cream?"

"It should be... right." Xia You didn't seem to know much about desserts.

I slightly raised my face: "I like salted butter."

"..."

I saw a twist in the brunette's smile.

I suddenly felt a kind of simple happiness that I had not seen for a long time.If it was in the past, I would probably stop immediately, but at this time, I really enjoy this kind of freedom that Gojo Satoru usually enjoys.It gave me a tinge of vengeance to pay them back.Looking at the boys with gloomy faces, I casually comforted: Don't be so depressed.There is a delicious barbecue restaurant near the hospital, so you can have a good meal before you go back to school.

"Ms. Ye Moth told us that you are sick." Gojo Satoru frowned, "Why do I feel that your personality has deteriorated."

Ha ha.I laughed: "Yes...but I don't want to see you again."

"what……?"

"Especially Wutiao." The flashing smile disappeared from my face, and I returned to the gloomy, pale, and motionless look when they came, "You can go back."

"you--"

Xia You grabbed Wutiao Wu who was about to say something, and dragged him out: "Okay. Take care."

I didn't answer.Before leaving the room, the black-haired boy glanced back at me slightly.

Silence returned to the ward.

After a long time, I finally raised my hand to take the blue paper bag Xiayou gave me.The two boys seem to have raided the entire counter of the dessert shop. There are several kinds of colorful and unmatched cakes neatly placed in the bag.There is one more card.I picked it up and looked at it, and recognized the words Xiayou. "have a good rest".

The sense of guilt that had subsided suddenly hit me again like a monstrous flood.

I knew it.I thought, as long as I could see them, I would never have real peace.

Teacher Ye Moth kindly kept the news secret for me, but after a while, I turned on my phone and found that the inbox was flooded with greetings from juniors. — is simply haunted.I stared at their gracious, heartfelt emails, sitting on pins and needles and feeling sick to my stomach.Why do people keep reminding me of my connection to that school even though I'm already in the hospital?

I locked my phone in a drawer and didn't reply to any messages.

When the summer was coming to an end, Gojo Satoru suddenly came to see me with a plastic bag from a convenience store. He bought me milk, puddings in small boxes, and various light snacks.Before I asked him, the boy took the initiative to explain to me that the other two had tasks, and he just had nothing to do, so he came to chat with me.

I didn't ask much, sat up, opened the window, and the sound of cicadas flooded into the bright ward.

I really want to know.That afternoon, the white-haired boy lay on the back of the chair and asked me with a straw in his mouth.What on earth did you tell Mr. Ye Moth that he would agree to suspend your studies?

what did i say?

I didn't actually say anything.I think about something irrelevant.I can't recall many things before I left school.My memory is being selectively peeled off and self-protected. The events before the hospitalization and the damp campus life that lasted for years have become as vague and indifferent to me as other people's affairs.

I told my teacher that I still don't think I'm suitable to be a conjurer.I stated dryly.

Gojo Satoru let out an ambiguous "Huh?" Then he let go of the straw in his mouth: "You?"

"Ah."

"Because of what? You still can't get along with your technique?" The boy turned his head, "It's been so long."

"Yes. . . . Shoes that don't fit your feet will always wear them down no matter how long you wear them."

He didn't say anything, just frowned and bit the straw again.I recognized the milky drink as a lightly sweetened almond milk.The hot wind blows the white gauze curtains in the house, and there is the fresh grass smell of the leaves being roasted.On rare occasions neither of us spoke.

I look at him.Light and darkness happened to fall on Gojo Satoru's face alternately, his eyes drooping in a silent shadow.

"...Did something happen at the school?"

"?" He glanced at me, "How do you know...?"

"By reading the air."

"Ha..." He showed an inexplicable expression, "I know why you are not suitable to be a conjurer."

I don't want to talk to him.

"...It's nothing." Gojo Satoru opened his mouth, but in the end he just vaguely said, "It's all over."

I glanced at him, not interested and didn't intend to ask more questions.In the next second, the long summer wind seemed to stop breathing in an instant, and the chirping of cicadas outside the window became very faint.A blood-clotting chill that I'm all too familiar with suddenly crept in along the window sill and ran up my spine, making me shiver before I could react. "Ah." Wujo, who was sitting across from me, let go of the almond milk in his mouth, and loosely raised his blue eyes that were mostly covered by sunglasses. "Behind you."

"..." Of course I knew what he was talking about.I turned around stiffly, and a group of mucus-like spells was staring at me on the window sill, and its soft, liquid tentacles had already passed through the thin screen window between us.

"—呵!"

"ah??!!!"

An unexpected flash of light brushed my cheek, cut through the screen, and hit the wandering curse instantly.The slime melted into blood-red flocs, which gradually peeled off and fell from the window.I didn't move, just covered my ears, trembling, watching everything in front of me.

After a long time, Gojo Satoru's brisk voice came faintly: "You, you really can't do it."

I put down my hands covering my ears, and turned back to look at him quietly, the boy was standing behind me, looking at me through his glasses with a funny face: "How can such a small curse scare you like this. "

Suddenly, the wind seemed to blow again.

I thought of the curse spirit just now, falling down like a ball of mud, covered with fly-green eyes.

"...So?" I trembled, knowing I was on the verge of a seizure, "I was always like this."

"I just thought it was interesting."

Gojo Satoru held up his hands, "I heard that you wanted to hide in a place without curses, but you ended up going to a high-risk place like a hospital. Hey, forget it. —— Seeing you now, I understand. "There was hot air passing through the place where the screen window was cut and blowing into the house continuously.He tilted his head, and his tone was as bright as that night when he looked at the moon, "You really can't become a magician, Huajing."

"..."

"How—?! Uh——?!" The boy couldn't finish his sentence.Because I suddenly picked up the convenience store plastic bag full of souvenirs on the bedside table and slammed it in his face.The pair of expensive luxury sunglasses flew far away under the impact, and the milk that rolled down a few times flowed out of the squeezed carton, and the ground was in a mess for a while. "What are you doing?!" Gojo Gojo, who came back to his senses, turned his head and stared at me, his face flushed.

"...Get out."

"what?"

"I tell you to get out!!" I screamed out of control.Seeing him standing still, I fumbled for the things at hand one after another, and threw them at him with all my might—the remote control, the plastic cup, the brand new children’s picture book, the medicine bottle—Gojo Satoru hurriedly raised his hand to cover his face in embarrassment , backed away while avoiding my stormy attack: "No, why did you suddenly go crazy?!" "That's why I said I don't want to see you!!" I didn't want to answer his question at all, just kept, As if being possessed, he concentrated on hitting him, splash, splash, the pills that fell out of the medicine bottle were scattered all over the ground, big and small, white and yellow, "Get out!! Why? Come and see me!!!"

I chased after him, stumbled off the bed, and threw the book in my hand at Gojo Wu.Through the flying pages of the book, I saw the boy's astonished expression, "Yeah!! I can't become a magician!! What do you guys know other than becoming a magician?!"

That's wrong.I know.

I can't say that.But I can't stop myself from saying those words.

"……,Why……"

A nurse heard my scream, and suddenly there were many chaotic footsteps at the door of the ward: "Miss Huajing?!"

I know.I actually do.

it's all my fault.

The last book was also thrown out by me.The strength in his hand was really exhausted, so the picture album slid out sideways and fell in the distance with a pale clatter.

I slumped on the ground, covering my face and crying.The cold milk all over the floor wet my hospital gown from the knees up.

"I've had enough... what curses, what conjurers... go to hell..."

I am too weak and not strong enough.I am immersed in fantasy all day long, and after a little setback, I will be devastated.

it's all my fault.

The nurses who opened the door of the ward rushed to my side and surrounded me. One or two of them quickly dismissed Gojo Satoru who stayed where he was.I ignored them, just kept crying blankly, my brain gradually began to alarm due to lack of oxygen, suffocation and dizziness came one after another, the nurses who held me firmly grabbed my arm and beat me Needle.In a crowd of surging white people, I saw Gojo Satoru.He stood motionless in the corner, staring at me from a distance, his beautiful blue eyes full of bewilderment, like an innocent child.

I'm still screwed, I think.