The number one lalang in heaven

The number one lalang in heaven

Jushuiyue

Copywriter:

Am I the last to know that my colleague and I are husband and wife?

"In the west of the Weak Water, there is the Queen Mother of the West, who is born and never grows old, and protects with the sky.

The queen mother is blessed, she is under the influence of Tianlu, she is favored by the residence, and the gentleman has prosperity. "

*

I am Yang Hui, the legendary Queen Mother of the West.

Among the many rumors about me in the mortal world, there are two points that need to be refuted here:

1. I am a male

2. Jade Emperor and I are just colleagues

*

"The Queen Mother of the West" was attacked by x "Jade Emperor"

True fairy love, hundreds of years old

No.1 is called an outline text, a nonsense work, the setting is not based on research, and the Queen Mother of the West is privately assumed to be a male, please do not force it if it is difficult to substitute.

1.

My name is Yang Hui, and I am a fairy.

It may not be formal to say immortals in general terms, but to be precise, I am the god who punishes natural disasters and marries and reproduces.

Some friends may have already guessed it, yes, folks generally call me "The Queen Mother of the West."

2.

But I am a man.If it is fake, it will be exchanged, and it will be a man who pays ten for one fake.

The kind that doesn’t grow a uterus and doesn’t grow a vagina.

I know what you're thinking, I'm a golden male fairy, you can't make clay sculptures.

3.

My full name is "Shangsheng Baiyu Guitai Jiuling Taizhen Wuji Virgin Mother Yaochi Great Saint Xiwang Jinmu Supreme Qing Lingyuan Jun Commanding the Immortals Da Tianzun", although I don't actually live in Yaochi, nor do I live in it. On Guishan.

It's embarrassing to call such an awkward title, and I don't know what the mortals think when they take the honorific title.Does anyone put someone else's home address in their name?

Forget it, gods don't care about mortals.

4.

Since I'm not really "Queen Mother" and don't like the title, why not change my name?

Because it wasn't my name in the first place.My first name is Yang Hui, but I can't control what nicknames people give me.

One of the downsides of being a fairy: Mortals can change your name, your home address, and even your gender.

5.

Good and good, there are gains and losses.

6.

There are still many misunderstandings about me in the world: For example, I have to hold a huge party every year on my birthday, and I have to distribute peaches--distribute flat peaches for everyone to eat; What's the use of it; I have given birth to seven fairies as beautiful as flowers, each of which is more beautiful than the other, and I am determined to marry this Dong Yong and that cowherd...

But among these, the most widely circulated and troubled me is: I am a couple with the Jade Emperor.

7.

I and the Jade Emperor, or "Haotian Jinque Supreme Supreme Natural Mirao Supreme True High Heaven Sacred Great Benevolent Jade Emperor Forgives Sins Xifu Great Heavenly Venerate Xuanqiong High God" (Oh, this title is even more exaggerated than mine) , or Emperor Beichen, we are actually innocent colleagues.

It is inevitable that some of our business contacts and responsibilities overlap: I am in charge of punishment and marriage and childbearing, and his title comes with "forgiveness and blessing".However, as a Taoist god, he usually sends a fairy boy to fetch even the call file, and he has never seen it a few times in thousands of years.

8.

Disclaimer: Fairchildren are hundreds of years old.We do not employ child labor.

9.

Back to the theme, mortals have this kind of hobby: they like to mess up the mandarin ducks.For a while, it arranged for Chang'e and Houyi to be together, which made the Moon Immortal, a sun shooter, feel embarrassed when he went to work every day; Pulling up sleeves and chopping firewood; rumors that He Xiangu and Han Xiangzi are in love, and the Eight Immortals cross the sea and everyone thinks they are light bulbs; it is also said that the little dragon girl and Nezha have an affair, and the Dragon King, whose own son was beaten to death by Nezha, was so angry that he didn't eat for a month, etc. all kinds.

The Lalang match between Emperor Beichen and I may not directly affect the two parties involved.After all, his Immortal Mansion is in the north, and this "Queen Mother of the West" is in the west, so it doesn't matter if they play disco, party, drink and go crazy.

I can't see each other, but I hear the other person's name and my own being mentioned side by side all the time, and the legends and stories of various versions linger in my ears for many years.This is probably our relationship for hundreds of years.

In various folk tales, our husband and wife work together to cheat his elder nephew and kill his sister; Limited to Yang Jian and Nezha Sun Wukong's havoc in the Heavenly Palace, it can be said that we share weal and woe.

Each of these stories has a nose and an eye, and they are so real that I have to believe in a trance that we are a confused couple with deep affection.

Then when we met at a colleague’s dinner and bowed our hands to each other, we found that apart from toasting and greeting business, there was only the silent embarrassment of being pressed on the head.

10.

The word "beheaded" was taught to me by Yaoji.In addition, she also taught "clay sculpture", "bundle cp" and so on.

Recently, she especially likes to run to the mortal world, and when she gets home, she will share with me how she "got it real".I am only a listener who observes my heart every time, and I make surprised or echoed sounds from time to time.

Whether the truth is true or not, in fact, go to Yuelao's place and borrow the marriage book to take a look, and you will know where there are so many spaced shirts and candies in the same frame.

She just enjoys the feeling of being "on top", and I don't need to spoil the fun.

11.

Did I just mention that we live together?

It's like this, no matter how beautiful the Yaochi is, it's actually just a pond, and no god can really sleep in it.

And the reason why I have the word "Yao Chi" in my title is because I live close to Yao Chi, which causes misunderstandings.Since Yao Ji became a fairy, she has been living in my other courtyard.She also said at the beginning that she would build her own fairy mansion opposite me, so that she could enjoy the happiness of a fairy.Later, she discovered that there are many happier things in the world than being a fairy (for example, the improper relationship between men and women between YY colleagues), so she didn't bother to toss a house.

Later, after discussing with me, she successively called Zhinu, Jiutian Xuannv and many other good sisters to be roommates. My fairy mansion was expanded and turned into an apartment.In the fairy world that pays attention to purity, it can be regarded as the only one.

12.

...Wait, so I've actually been living in the girls' apartment?

Why do I feel that I seem to understand why people pass me as a woman?

12.

Closer to home, Emperor Beichen and I were arranged to go on a business trip together today.

Yes, the Jade Emperor is not the highest official position.There are several emperors, and everyone does their own thing, and they are all social animals.

To be honest, although the gods should be calm, I am still nervous.I can't stand embarrassment the most.On the eve of departure, I held Yaoji for a long time to do mental training. I practiced how not to let the words fall to the ground. I rehearsed until even a stone can talk for half an hour.

The next day, I found that I had miscalculated again.

13.

The thing is this: I managed to dig myself out of bed and arrived at Nantianmen early in the morning.

He arrived a quarter of an hour earlier than the agreed time, and when he saw me, he simply cupped his hands: "Xichi Yuanjun."

I like to work with people who have a sense of time, so I also saluted: "Emperor Beichen, good morning."

After saluting, he stood silently waiting for the shuttle bus, but I just found out that he is a nice person, and I thought that if I make friends, at least this long trip will be more comfortable: "I'm afraid we will have to work together for a long time. It's been a while, Dijun can call me Yang Hui directly."

He turned to look at me, not intending to answer.I bit the bullet and continued, "Then I can call you..."

I'm stuck.

The problem lies here.

I found out that I didn't seem to know the name of my rumored husband-in-law.

"...Xiao Zhang?" I said tentatively.

The corner of his eye twitched: "...Li Xuan, just call him Li Xuan."

14.

I smiled dryly and said, "Ahaha, I thought your surname would be Zhang, ahahaha, why is that?"

He looked at me and said nothing.

"Haha, maybe it's because, that or something, the story of Jiang Ziya conferring gods." My face was either swollen by the cold wind from Nantianmen today, or I was about to be swollen by myself. Saying 'naturally someone will do it', Zhang Ziran jumped out and said, 'I am nature', and then he picked up the position of Jade Emperor for nothing, hahahaha. Now it seems that it is a completely cold joke, haha, haha."

Hearing the words, he chuckled with dignity: "Where is there such a thing as being able to pick up a god's position by relying on one's name?"

Without saying anything else, he laughed... like a moment of spring sunshine to dispel the cold wind.

15.

And it's strange that they are married to me.

16.

Once started, the topic went much more smoothly.The practice of chatting with the stone last night was unnecessary, because I found that Li Xuan is actually very interesting.He usually gives people the impression of being unsmiling, but in fact he is quite a funny person.

We chatted about those long and complicated documents, those documents that had just left my fairy mansion during the day and sent them to his study at night, and we actually felt a little bit like seeing each other late.

If Yao Ji was present, she would comment: This is the sympathy of social animals.

But for me, this is the bosom friend at work, the feeling of colleagues who are moving!

17.

After chatting all the way, the embarrassing atmosphere has almost dissipated, and I am in a good mood.

When we arrived at the destination, West Sea Dragon Palace, there was a row of Dragon Palace soldiers and generals on both sides, and a young man dressed in black bowed in front of him: "Welcome to the two immortals."

We quickly returned the gift.

The young man introduced himself in a few words, and soon chatted with us.It turned out that he