I can't run away after agreeing to fall in love

After Shen Zhitang finished speaking, he turned his head to one side and closed his eyes, as if to isolate himself from the outside world, and there was Tang Yingqiu on his body, his weight and self-righteous love pressed him so hard that he couldn't breathe , but also to cover up the body's instinctive reaction, he could only take small and rapid breaths, and when he said the harshest words, there was a whimper in his throat.

Seeing Shen Shitang like this, self-blame and fear once again swept through every cell in Tang Yingqiu's body. His behavior made Shen Shitang feel uncomfortable again, and he said it was disgusting.Tang Yingqiu stood up and looked at Shen Shitang like this.

Sensing that after Tang Yingqiu left, Shen Shitang raised his hand and covered his eyes with his arms. He hated himself so much. He is still deceived by Tang Yingqiu's sweet words. After living for more than 30 years, he still can't live a clear life.

Tang Yingqiu watched Shen Shitang curl up in pain, like a fetus still in the mother's womb, and wanted to go up and hug him, but found that the source of his pain came from himself, and he was a person who would make him feel sick. people.

What about Ah Hong?Would Ah Hong make him feel so sad?Would he find Ah Hong disgusting?

or—

Tang Yingqiu asked herself, can Ah Hong bring happiness to this person in front of him?Can you give him the home he wants?

Suddenly enlightened, Tang Yingqiu tucked in the quilt and returned to her own bed accompanied by powerlessness.

The night is too long to survive, the sky is starless.

Aisham is the only child in the town who does not come to school because of handicap.The only grandfather leaves early and returns late to maintain the family's livelihood. Aysham takes care of all the affairs of the family. There are not many teaching resources in the town that can be provided to everyone. These are the things that Aygul will learn again. Go back and give it to Aisham.

Aysham is much older than Aygul, so this knowledge is no longer applicable, but it seems that in order to protect such a little sister, Aysham still accepts Aygul's teaching, at a young age Take on the role of a "little mother".

It was at dusk when Shen Shitang knocked on the wooden door of Ayigul's house, and outside he heard footsteps that belonged to Ayysham. Ayysham was startled when he saw Shen Shitang, and then He went to probe again and said, "Teacher, what happened to Gu Li?"

Shen Zhitang knelt down and looked at the little girl in front of him, "No, I'm here to find you."

"Teacher, come in and have a seat!" Aisham staggered towards the kitchen and turned off the gas stove. When he came out again, he held a cup of goat milk in his hand, "I just squeezed it, teacher, drink it."

"Where's grandpa?"

"I'm leading the sheep to the factory, and I'm going to stay there for many days!" Aisham probed his head and saw that Shen Shitang's expression didn't change before continuing: "Grandpa said that there will be a lot of money there, and he is willing to hire him. Uncle Jilili told me these things when he came back, he said Brother Aqiu is a good man."

Shen Zhitang smiled and flicked the man's head, but he just brushed it off in his panic, "Now are you telling me something nice about him?"

"I didn't! I didn't!" Aisham rubbed the tip of his nose and said, "You are all good people, we will repay you when you grow up."

"Sham, what hours of the day are you free?"

Aisham thought for a while, then wrinkled his fingers and said, "After making dinner in the afternoon, I will be free. At that time, my sister is teaching me lessons."

"Then I'll come here to teach you at this time from now on, okay?"

Aisham was startled and said, "No need, no need, teacher, go and do your own thing. I'm not as smart as Gu Li. It will take me a long time to digest what she said!"

"I'll come here, okay?" Shen Shitang reached out to help Aisham pick off a small piece of cotton wool flying from his hair, and asked a question, but he could not be refuted.

Before Aysham answered, Shen Shitang felt a small black ball rushing into his arms, and then heard screams, Ayigul hugged Shen Shitang's head, and shouted with a smile: "Teacher, come here!" We welcome you so I can spend more time with the teacher!"

Ayiguli is close to everyone, and she is also the follower of teachers Zhou and Cai in school, but they are female teachers. Ahong doesn't get close to them, so he has less communication in private. Shen Shitang took him before When I went to the hospital, I became closer to him in my heart.

With one arm around Aygul, Shen Shitang signaled Aysham to sit on the row of chairs with the other hand, and stroked Aysham's head with the other hand, and said, "Do you agree or not? If you don't agree, I will be angry." Yeah, when I'm angry I'm super-fierce."

Shen Shitang lost his temper before, and at that time it was to drive the two of them to sleep on the big bed.Aisham's tears fell down, and Shen Shitang wiped them with a veil, and finally nodded while sobbing.

Shen Shitang's legs were numb, and he changed his posture to hug Ayiguli, and suddenly remembered that she sprained her foot during physical education class today, so he frowned and asked, "Who brought you back?"

"Brother Ah Hong went to help others shear sheep. He was going to come back with Nirubair, but she thought I was walking too slowly. Fortunately, I met Teacher Tang!" Ayigul told the ins and outs He said everything clearly, and his little face was filled with happiness. Then he looked at the door and said, "Where is the teacher? The teacher was still here just now!"

Ayiguli jumped off Shen Shitang's lap and ran outside. Shen Shitang was afraid of the little ancestor and chased after him, but he saw Tang Yingqiu leaning against the wooden door.

After the eyes met, Tang Yingqiu walked away a little silently, and walked around to the side of the room, the sky was full of sunshine outside.

Ayigul wanted to chase after her to ask why the teacher was leaving, but Aysham held her hand. Turning her head, she saw that her sister was shaking her head at her, so she covered her mouth with her hand, and asked secretly: "Is Teacher Tang angry?"

Aisham didn't know how to answer, so he just nodded and shook his head.

Shen Zhitang walked back, looked at his watch and realized that it was already meal time, thinking that if he stayed any longer, they would have to keep him for dinner, how much the two children could eat, I am afraid that he should trouble Aisham to add food, Wanting to say goodbye, he saw Tang Yingqiu from the corner of his eye.

Tang Yingqiu smiled and said to the two children: "Wait for me tomorrow?"

Aysham didn't understand the meaning, but Aygul cheered, grabbed Aysham's hand and said, "School is on holiday tomorrow! Teacher Tang said to take us to the factory to see grandpa!"

Aisham asked, "How about the calligraphy class?"

"A lot of my classmates' parents are back! There is still a guest house there, and they have all been picked up. Brother Ahong said that there will be no classes this week!"

Sensing Aisham's probing gaze, Shen Shitang also nodded, said goodbye and turned to leave.

The two people on the road didn't say a word, the night had already fallen quietly, Shen Shitang walked in front, and suddenly saw a beam of light shining on his feet, so that he could see the situation under his feet, so that he wouldn't get lost, even if he used his toes to think, Shen Shitang also knew what happened.

During this period of time, he never took the initiative to talk to himself again, but it seemed that he had changed a way to stay with him, still imposing love, or being forced to compromise.

"You haven't visited the factory yet, have you?"

"Ah."

"Do you want to take a look?"

"think."

"Let's go together that day, I also... have something to tell you."

Shen Zhitang was silent for a moment, probably guessing what Tang Yingqiu wanted to say, "I was wrong", "come home with me", or "I still love you", "don't leave me" and so on, said softly: "Say Just talk about it now, I have nothing to tell you, can't I give you what you want in return?"

Tang Yingqiu smiled wryly, knowing that Shen Shitang still misunderstood herself completely, she didn't speak, opened the door for Shen Shitang, and walked into the room.

While Shen Shitang was taking a bath and she was the only one in the room, Tang Yingqiu couldn't help but approached Shen Shitang's bed, knelt on the ground, and sniffed him, as if performing a solemn ceremony, with the tip of her nose Get close to his bed and kiss again.

I'm afraid I won't have another chance in the future.

Tang Yingqiu felt that she had never had a good capacity for alcohol, and the number of times she got drunk could be counted on the fingers. That day, she went to find A Hong, and the local wine brewed here was cloudy and easy to get drunk.

The first thing Ah Hong did when he opened the door was to welcome him in, snatched the wine he was holding, poured water for himself and wiped his face, saying that he was drunk.

Tang Yingqiu knew that she was not drunk, so she was able to ask questions like "Do you really like him?"

Ah Hong stopped moving, Tang Yingqiu also saw the light shining in his eyes, he said, "Of course."

Tang Yingqiu admitted that she was jealous, so she wanted to provoke Ah Hong, and asked, "Do you not mind if he has other men? I mean he liked me and slept with me before."

A Hong's eyes were still full of love, and he asked himself, "So what? If he is willing to give his whole body to me, then why should I care about his past? I just want to participate in him with all my strength." Life after that will be fine, give him a satisfying present and a promising future."

So what?

Tang Yingqiu finally found the answer, even if this happened, so what, so what?What's more, it's all nonsense, and it's all because he is wronging himself.

He is a veritable bastard himself, talking about love and driving people crazy.

Tang Yingqiu laughed like an idiot, she put her whole body on A Hong's body, burst into tears again, and said, "You are better than me, you love him more, you can give him... give him better things." Life, I will leave in a few days, give me a little more time and I will say goodbye to him, and you have a good time. If... If I know that what you said to me today is false, I can't guarantee I will do something."

"You have to treat him well. He's really nice. It's my fault that I didn't cherish him. I'm a fucking animal."

……

A Hong's expression moved slightly, his eyes darkened in the end, and finally he patted Tang Yingqiu on the back, and said in a low voice, "What can I give him? Why would he want me? He only wants you."

But Tang Yingqiu was so drunk that he couldn't hear anything anymore, but he held onto A Hong's hand tightly and said, "Thank you."

and also--

"I wish you happiness."