stupid dirty romance

He has never felt like at this moment that he is really soaked in darkness, and all around him are also plunged into darkness. The sunshine and warmth he loves are driven away by the cold and dark clouds, and the lightning and thunder A devil got into his ear. He should have been brave and resisted, but now, it was too late.

He couldn't stop Yin Yu, let alone his own tendency, the only thing he wanted to do now was to confirm his status and make Yin Yu look more docile in front of him.

He found that the most terrifying desire is the desire to control, you don't necessarily love and hate, you don't necessarily have any emotions that can be sung, described, and have romantic thoughts, you just try to make everyone bow down as a ruler ruthlessly , relying on your breath, the pleasure you enjoy is the scepter in your hand and the slave under your feet.

Xia Jun doesn't want to admit that he has become the same person as Yin Yu, because deep down he doesn't just disagree with Yin Yu, but the sarcasm he often shows stems from his sense of superiority over himself. He even looked down on Yin Yu's behavior of selling his soul.

But now, he should have thought that he would at least feel pain for the blood shed by Yin Yu, and would feel pity for this person who showed his favor and weakness from time to time, but the reality turned out to be completely opposite. such a relationship.

However, the sequelae of these idealisms have not yet dissipated. He will not put it into action yet, but think more. He does not act, but just thinks and then introspects.

The plum blossoms were already in full bloom, but they were about to fall again. Xia Jun stroked the petals that fell on the pages of the book, and gently closed the book. He looked at the stone brick road leading to the inpatient building of the hospital, as if he could vaguely imagine From the back of Yin Yu, he doesn't look strong or fragile at this time, just an ordinary person wearing a hospital gown and a loose sweater. Yuan Qi, if someone notices his expression at this time, they will find that there is no soul in this person's eyes, only greedy desire and sad loneliness are burning, he is not happy, but not sad, he is alive, But it's already dead...

Xia Jun didn't know whether his interpretation of Yin Yu was right or wrong, but at least so far he was more willing to believe his guess. He didn't want to face it, but just wanted to escape for a while.

Obviously, in his eyes, at least so far, Yin Yu's charm has almost disappeared. There is no other reason, but it originated from the fear and avoidance of the unknown and too powerful. This inequality is not deliberately caused by any of them. , but of psychological origin.

If Yin Yu knew what Xia Jun was thinking now, he might let his soul die for a while as Xia Jun guessed.He is not completely ruthless to Xia Jun, because he also has a brain, and the brain is not only used to plan things. After getting along for a long time, he will naturally have feelings, but to what extent these feelings are, the same, only the person concerned Clearest.

It is true that people are emotional animals, but what is more valuable is rationality.

The wards of this hospital are not big, even the so-called advanced wards are nothing more than a bedroom with a balcony, and a living room connected to the outside of the bedroom. Yin Yu lay on his back on the bed and looked at the hospital-like lights on the ceiling. I don't know what I'm thinking, I just let my thoughts fly away.

He felt a little tired. Ever since Xia Jun entered the Golden Triangle, he had been impatient with his favorite and indulgent lover many times, and even yelled at this person a few times for the first time. They are no longer as they used to be. On the contrary, they tacitly maintain a so-called sweet illusion, but the real situation is burnout.

Counting it, they have been together for a long time. He and Xia Jun wanted to have a big fight between the age of 15 and Xia Jun when they were teenagers. When they met again at the age of 26, they became a new relationship. No, it’s not a new relationship. He knows very well that the relationship between him and Xia Jun has never changed qualitatively, but it is the same as before. He has been like this since he was a teenager, and nothing happened to Xia Jun. Variety.

Few people know that Officer Xia is actually two years older than him, and it seems that there has always been the older side between them, but this is not related to experience, but to the essence.

Xia Jun didn’t have a mother when he was very young, but he still has a father anyway, and he will always be the child of his parents in essence, but Yin Yu is different. He clearly knows the hardships of transforming from a dog to a human being. The heart he lacks is exchanged for the right to walk upright.

He didn't know how many happy days they had to live like this. He had even thought about the scene of Officer Xia drawing his gun at him more than once. When that day really came, he wouldn't be surprised at all.

perhaps.

Yin Yu doesn’t think he’s an attractive person, it’s not that he lacks self-confidence, in fact he never feels inferior, he’s very objective, and knows that he’s essentially a boring person who lacks emotion and interest in life, yes , he knows how to enjoy, he knows some art and elegant things, he knows when to show the dignity of a superior person, but in his bones, what is engraved in the depths of his soul is to force himself to be numb and ruthless, to pursue all good things and throbbing indifference.

This doesn't mean that he is a coward, it just means that his soul is destined not to be enriched.

He is not dead, but alive and well, happy to tease, happy to act, happy to have fun, but never happy to play emotional games, he can't participate in real emotional games, not because he is afraid of being defeated, but because he has long lost the right to participate , He admitted that he was a little special about Xia Jun's issue, but this special point did not mean that he wanted to make an oath to each other with Xia Jun. He didn't scoff at this, but he couldn't get into the drama.

The fact is that, the only concessions he can make are these pitifully insignificant issues, such as he can accept being a bearer in bed affairs, and he can accept Xia Jun saying things he doesn't want to hear from time to time, It is acceptable for Xia Jun to vacillate—a vacillation within his controllable range, and he can also take the initiative to repair the unpleasantness after accepting it.

But he can't make more concessions. He can express his pampering in another way, but he won't express his "love" in another way.Because pampering his lover and giving gifts are his habits, but love is not. He has lived until now and has experienced too much, but he can't understand love, let alone how he loves.

In his understanding, there is no love in the world.

Now he was tired, he didn't want to cajole his lover, he didn't want to laugh and curse, he didn't even want to play with gusto, he wanted to rest for a while, to be himself.

What was he like himself—cold, numb, he was indifferent, indifferent to everyone, to the world, lacking interest, aimless, like a piece of cold marble.

It is precisely because of this that he has so much interest and love for rich and interesting people.

But now, maybe just now, he has seen through and seen enough of Xia Jun's posture, he is tired of it, and he doesn't want to continue to make any indifferent efforts, he knows that Xia Jun will neither turn black nor completely run into the light. There are almost no white people in the world, and most people are gray tones. Perhaps it is only in different degrees that you will mistake light gray for white.

Black and white arguments are beyond stupid.