live-in close friend

Let's sing a song. "

Li Xunran chuckled: "What are you singing? A lullaby?"

Qu He's voice was very serious: "My favorite American TV series is called "Fringe". There is an old man in it. He is a genius scientist, but someone removed a piece of his brain, so he was locked up in a mental hospital. Later he His son took him out of the mental hospital, but he couldn't sleep at night, and he had to hum a nursery rhyme to him so that he could fall asleep peacefully."

Li Xunran was captured by his gentle voice, unable to speak.

"Row, Row, Row your boat, gently down the stream. Merrily, Merrily, Merrily, Merrily. Life is but adream."

"Row, Row, Row your boat, gently down the stream. Merrily, Merrily, Merrily, Merrily. Life is but adream."

"Row, Row, Row your boat, gently down the stream. Merrily, Merrily, Merrily, Merrily. Life is but adream."

The low singing voice carried unreasonable feelings, warmly circling in the hotel room, Li Xunran gradually felt that his eyelids were heavy, the boat took him to the deep river of dreams, behind him, sitting The man with the oars, the man had the same face as himself.

Qu He heard the breathing on the bed next to him gradually becoming longer and more even, and slowly lowered the volume until it was almost inaudible, but he still hummed softly and kept humming.

I hope you can have a good dream.

☆, I am with you, just like being with myself (4)

G. How to shed tears

The main itinerary of the second day is the wedding dress street.

Fang Mengqiu's friend in her hometown is going to get married next year. Suzhou wedding dress street is well-known. The friend told her long ago that if she goes to Suzhou, she will definitely help her investigate and see if it is worth making a special trip to buy a wedding dress.

The wedding dress street is next to Tiger Hill, and a large square is full of large wedding dress boutiques. The wedding dresses sold are exquisite and gorgeous, and the price is not as cheap as the legend says.However, the unremarkable street on the other side is the famous wedding dress street. The street is full of small shops, one next to the other. Wedding dress accessories, high heels, toast clothes are all available, and the prices are staggeringly cheap. If you are willing to buy Careful selection, but really can pick a good wedding dress at a good price.

Women have no resistance to wedding dresses. Married and unmarried are the same, young and old are the same.Not to mention Fang Mengqiu, even Zhang Tongtong was very excited, holding the highest expectations for every small shop, and he had to go in and have a look around before letting go.

Qu He and Li Xunran held hands and followed them far away, like two grooms accompanying the bride to pick out the wedding dress.

"When you got married, where did you buy the wedding dress?" Li Xunran asked.

"I haven't bought it before." Qu He looked at Fang Mengqiu. The latter took a fancy to two wedding dresses. He gestured left and right in front of the mirror. The boss spared no effort to encourage him: "Try it, it doesn't matter if you don't buy it, just try it."

"Haven't bought it?" Li Xunran was surprised.

"Well, the first time we got married, Cui Yao was in a hurry to go to the United States before we had time to hold the wedding. We only took wedding photos, and the wedding dress was provided by the photography studio. The second time we said it was a fake marriage. No one thought about hosting a banquet, and when I found out that I liked her, she was going to divorce me again." Qu He was still looking at the two women in the store wearing wedding dresses, with eyes wide open. deep and far.

After a long time, he turned around and asked Li Xunran: "What about you? Have you thought about what you will be like when you get married? Will you help choose the wedding dress?"

Li Xunran was disturbed by the way he looked at the wedding dress, and when he heard this question suddenly, he answered casually: "I really thought about it before, imagining what it would be like to marry Jian Yao one day. But it was too late. She is married now. I like her silently by her side. I have liked her for so many years, but I just can't tell her. It used to be like this, and it still is now. "

As soon as Jian Yao was mentioned, there seemed to be tears in those big eyes, Qu He couldn't bear it, and suddenly he had the idea of ​​hating Jian Yao: You have been so cruel to such a person for more than ten years!He wanted to reach out and pull him into his arms without thinking like the previous two times.But now he couldn't stop thinking, so in the end he could only reach out and pat him on the shoulder: "If the old one doesn't go, the new one won't come. You deserve better."

Li Xunran turned to look at him, the smile on his lips turned out to be stern: "No, I'm not worth it. Even better, I can't afford it."

Qu He firmly controlled the urge to hug him, feeling a beautiful flower blooming from the bottom of his heart, branching out, carrying the poison of despair.

"Brother Qu, come and help me see, does my sister look good in this wedding dress?" Zhang Tongtong yelled loudly in the store, and the two people outside the store were each full of worries, and it took a while to react and walked into the store go.

Fang Mengqiu was wearing a moon-white wedding dress, with a plain satin skirt and minimalist lines, making her look as pale as a bright moon.Qu He nodded: "It's very pretty." The boss jokingly said: "This wedding dress is tailor-made for your wife. Look at how beautiful she is wearing. Mr. can't take his eyes off you." Then Half of the sentence was said by Fang Mengqiu.

A pale pink blush flashed across Fang Mengqiu's face, and she waved her hand: "He's not my husband."

Qu He kept staring at Fang Mengqiu in the wedding dress, he was thinking about another thing: If I could accept her feelings and marry her, wouldn't things be much easier?

Li Xunran took two steps back and looked at them from a farther perspective: they were indeed a couple, he had been hurt twice by marriage, such a good person deserved a better match.

"Brother Qu, my sister is so beautiful, you look stupid!" Zhang Tongtong jumped out at the right time, interrupting everyone who was worried.

Qu He shook his head and smiled, Fang Mengqiu said: "This wedding dress is indeed suitable for you."

Fang Mengqiu smiled back politely: "Thank you." He turned and went into the fitting room to change back into his own clothes.

Li Xunran walked outside the store silently, he wanted to breathe.

He heard Jian Yao sing a song before, and it sounded in his mind very clearly at this time, every line of the lyrics was clear:

Roses in full bloom bring pollen to the nostrils

Don't hide your eyes when the sun is too strong

It's better to have wind to scatter the gravel

stimulate more secretion

Overtly and secretly love to death

Pretend to pretend that the two are confidants

Tears need to be avoided

I'm afraid to harass you even if I'm emotionally broken

how to shed tears

I can't find a reason to cry

this love without your permission

laugh I am not qualified

don't break your heart

how to shed tears

Self-awareness is wrong

There is no gap to break the embankment

let bitter love stay in my heart

Alluvial accumulation

Still keep the secret buried in the eyes at the end

no excuse cry heartbroken

just want to cry

reflux with this secret buried in the veins

H. As long as you are well

After returning from Suzhou, Qu He and Li Xunran got busy at the same time.

The school is officially on summer vacation, Professor Liu has more time, and Li Xunran's classes are more scheduled than before. He also hopes to spend more time chatting about "Sculpture", so the treatment has changed from twice a week to becomes once every two days.

Qu He started to leave early and return late again.The Shanghai Symphony Orchestra is going to tour Europe in early September. This was agreed at the beginning of the year, and the training must not be sloppy.The Shanghai Conservatory of Music’s appointment of him as a guest professor has basically been settled. From now on, the Orchestra Academy will run on both sides, and there will be very few chances to go home and cook two side dishes at night.

After working in such a hurry for more than a month, most of Qu He went out at [-]:[-] in the morning and returned home at [-]:[-] in the evening.Li Xunran's homework is getting heavier, there are many tomes on psychology, and the school library is closed during the holidays. He spends lunch and dinner every day indiscriminately, keeps his computer close to him, and checks information online until late at night.When Qu He came home, he saw that the light in his room was still on, and he didn't bother him. He quietly washed and went to sleep, but the two of them hardly saw each other, as if they had returned to the days when they first lived together.

However, every night is still difficult.

It is necessary for Li Xunran to check the information, and it is also deliberate. He makes himself busy and chaotic, tired and sleepy, so that he can fall asleep.Those hallucinations did not recur, but he just couldn't sleep well, and the dreams came one after another, all in disorder.Sometimes he was looking for his own shoes with bare feet on the side of the road. There was a long endless line of shoes on the road, and he looked at each pair, but none of them belonged to him.Sometimes I dream about the start of school, new students report, put things in the dormitory and go to the playground to gather, and return to the dormitory after the meeting, but I can’t find my room, I can’t even remember the house number, and I searched floor by floor. I've searched every building, but I still can't find the correct door.In the dream, I can also feel anxious and helpless. When I wake up, I stare blankly at the ceiling, feeling that I am dying from the torture of life.

Qu He was exhausted by the heavy rehearsal, so he rarely dreamed at night, but he always had to wait for the lights in the opposite room to go out before he could fall asleep peacefully.Sleeping the same late, but waking up early, the eye circles gradually turned blue.Not being able to see each other, an unresolved heart temporarily died down, and he carefully prepared breakfast for the two of them every morning. It was hot, and the other person packed it in a crisper and put it in the refrigerator. A post-it note was posted on the refrigerator door to remind him to eat.This reminded him of the first years, peaceful and beautiful, silent and moving.Sometimes he thought that it would be fine if his life went on like this, as long as he knew that he was always well, by his side, living quietly in the opposite room, that would be a kind of satisfaction.

In early September, Qu He went abroad with the orchestra.Until the day before their departure, they failed to sit down to have a good dinner together. The kitchen had been vacant for a long time, and its two owners had forgotten about it.

Because he hadn't seen each other, Qu He told him the news of going abroad in WeChat. Li Xunran didn't know how he felt when he saw it. Abandoning the love for the stage, I feel empty when I get off the stage, and I have nowhere to go. I don’t know what the sunrise and sunset are for, and I don’t know the meaning of the rising and falling of clouds.

He replied in WeChat: "I'm too busy to see you off. Let's make up for it after you come back. Remember to bring me a gift!"

He also replied: "You have to sleep well, eat well, study hard, and make progress every day!"

Li Xunran never kept chat records in WeChat, but he never deleted the conversations with him.

After waking up the next morning, Qu He had already set off.Li Xunran found a new post-it note on the refrigerator: "There is porridge in the pot, steamed buns in the refrigerator, bought from the one you like to eat, and eat it after heating it in the microwave. Don't deal with lunch and dinner casually, old man." The stomach can’t stand it. There is an MP3 on the coffee table in the living room, which contains the "Ingres Serenade" I played, which was recorded in the orchestra’s professional recording studio. If you can’t fall asleep at night, just listen to it to sleep. (Smiling face) Quhe”

The MP3 is half old, probably from Quhe's student days, with a poor 2G memory, in addition to "Ingres Serenade", there is also "RowRowRowyourboat" sung by Quhe.Li Xunran put on the earphones and listened to it over and over again, until his whole heart burst into tears.

The love that cannot be declared is the delicate flower that blooms in the smelly soil, the bitter fruit that grows in the tender flower, the love that is trapped in the swamp without salvation, and the road ahead is boundless and hopeless.

☆, I am with you, just like being with myself (5)

I. Seven hours

As soon as Qu He landed in Milan, he sent a WeChat message: "I'm here."

Li Xunran was in Professor Liu's treatment room, his mobile phone was turned off on silent, so he didn't hear it.

"Try humming the melody of "Sculpture" again, can you do it?"

Li Xunran shook his head with difficulty, the feeling of being unable to express his emotions was even worse than before.

"In the past month, I have listened to the symphony pieces you listed many times, but without the original "Sculpture" for comparison, I still can't find out what stimulated you. But these pieces have one thing in common. At this point, the violin plays a dominant role. Of course, I don’t know much about music, maybe the violin’s position in the symphony is very important. Do you remember that the violin appeared a lot in "Sculpture"?"

"I don't remember. I only remember the melody. I don't remember which instruments were played." Li Xunran is a little depressed now. He no longer wants to pursue any sculptures or hallucinations. don't go.

The treatment went very poorly.

But Qu He seems to be very happy in Europe.He sent Li Xunran a WeChat message every day.

"Look, this is my lunch today, pizza, doesn't it look very different from domestic ones?"

"Today we visited the Milan Conservatory of Music. The professors are all very old. Think about it, I am also a professor, hehe."

"I heard a new piece of music, which is cheerful and suitable for cello playing. I will play it for you when I go back."

……

There is a seven-hour time difference between Milan and Shanghai. When Li Xunran wakes up at eight o'clock every day, he is used to seeing all kinds of pictures and texts on WeChat, as well as the phrase "good night" before going to bed. ".

Thousands of kilometers away, the anxiety in his heart was narrowed by the distance, and he seemed to return to the week when Qu He was on a business trip in Beijing.

Now the first thing he does when he wakes up every day is to take his mobile phone and say "good morning".

Then during the day, Xu Xu sent her trivial matters about eating and drinking one by one.

"After eating Lanzhou ramen for several days, everyone is hungry!"

"I was running on the school playground, and there was no one around. It was a bit boring to run alone."

"Professor Liu said that I could start reading Freud and Jung. I found a copy of "Discovering the Romanticism of the Unconscious."

……

He just woke up when he fell asleep, his breakfast was his lunch, and when he was getting ready for the show, he was checking information late at night, and they still couldn't meet each other, but they were separated by seven hours of time and space, but they seemed closer than when they were around close.

Compared with the month when they didn't see each other, Li Xunran felt that this month finally lived a certain life, as if he had escaped from the clutches of the clutches, and was no longer tortured suffocatingly.He sometimes thinks that maybe this is the best way for him to get along with him. They are two fires, if they get too close, they will easily burn everything around them.

J. Mother Qu, Director Li

But that fire will come back after all.

Qu and WeChat said that he would arrive on the morning of September 9, and in the afternoon he would go to the train station to pick up his mother who was visiting him on National Day.

"What a coincidence, my dad also wants to visit me on the National Day, and he will arrive on the 30th." Li Xunran secretly breathed a sigh of relief, at least another seven days without the two of them alone.

When Li Xunran picked up his father and arrived home, Qu He and Qu's mother were sitting in the living room chatting.When the two parents saw the appearance of each other's son, they were stunned.

Mother Qu stood up from the sofa and walked in front of Li Xunran, her face was full of surprise mixed with love and relief: "You are Ranran? Why do you look exactly like us and He?" After speaking, she reached out and touched Li Xunran His face and hands trembled slightly.

Li Xunran has never met his mother since he was a child. All his knowledge of the word "mother" comes from Jian Yao's mother. She is a quiet, self-restraining, gentle and warm woman. She treats Li Xunran very well. But that is love and pity for other people's children, not love for one's own children.The mother in front of her is different. She has the trivialities of a little old lady in the countryside all over her body, and she is full of worldliness. She looks at her eyes with the same love as when she was watching music.Li Xunran felt that he liked her, perhaps because she was his mother.

"Hello, Auntie." Li Xunran smiled politely, not avoiding Mother Qu's hand.

Director Li was much calmer. He just frowned and looked at Qu He, then at Li Xunran, and said to himself, "I didn't expect this to be so similar."

Qu He hurriedly stood up and introduced: "Hi Uncle, I am Qu He, and this is my mother. Mom, this is Li Xunran."

Mother Qu and Director Li are old acquaintances, and they haven't seen each other for many years. The phone call to match up their sons to live together was also a coincidence. Knowing that Qu and his father had passed away, he asked for the number of his classmate's widow to call.

Now the four people in the same room were gently brought together by the big hand of fate. Because of the similar looks of the two sons, they quickly became acquainted.

Mother Qu took Li Xunran's hand and asked long and short questions: "Do you have a girlfriend?" "Are you still used to it in Shanghai?" "Did our Hehe bully you?" "Why is this child as thin as our Hehe! Auntie will cook you some delicious food these days." The relationship between Li Xunran and his father has a peculiar estrangement between father and son. The police father is similar to the military father. He spends less time in caring about the children and has a stubborn temper. Naturally, he wouldn't tell him, and he didn't ask, because he felt that the child had to grow up by himself.Later, father and son became subordinates again. Li Xunran obeyed his father's order and was always called "the director" in the work unit. Over time, he also allocated half of his father's position to the leader in his heart.The conversation between the father and son at home has always been to say hello when eating and sleeping, and there is no gossip at all, but they talk more at work than at home.Now meeting typical middle-aged and elderly women like Qu and her mother, with a love for daily life in her bones, Li Xunran feels fresh and warm when she tells her parents about the big things of the day.He took the trouble to answer Mother Qu's questions one by one with a smile on his face. He felt as if boiling water flowed through his limbs, which made his heart very comfortable.

Qu is just the opposite.Director Li has the style of a disciplined army, sitting on the sofa with a straight back, although he is not wearing a uniform, but the majesty of his body is so majestic that no one dares to make a mistake.He greeted Qu and Jianjian, asked about work, and then fell silent. The two sat staring at each other, watching the two, who looked more like a mother and son, having a warm and happy chat.Qu He didn't remember what his father looked like, he looked like from the photos, he was indeed somewhat similar to the Uncle Li in front of him, but not to the same extent as himself and Li Xunran.He remembered that his father liked to smile a lot in the photos before he was born, with the look of Li Xunran on his brows and eyes, but in the years after he was born, he was probably overwhelmed by the burden of the family, so he seldom took pictures, and once in a while Two of them were also frowning, and their expressions were cloudy.Subconsciously, Qu He felt that his mother and father were not doing well, and later his mother confirmed it, so he agreed to her and Uncle Zhao without thinking about it.He hoped that she could spend the rest of her life happily.

K. Don't move

Mother Qu originally insisted on cooking at home by herself, but the two sons firmly refused, saying that after a tiring day, there would be plenty of opportunities in the future.Finally, the family went to the Hunan restaurant.From the perspective of outsiders, this is indeed a happy family, with a strict father and loving mother, a pair of handsome twin sons, like a gift from heaven.

They didn't think about the problem of housing until they went home after dinner.

There are three bedrooms upstairs, the empty one was originally a guest room, and it should be fully furnished for Mother Qu to live in.The difficulty lies with Director Li.The old man has been sleeping alone for decades, and he is not used to sharing a bed with others, not even his own son, so he plans to find a hotel nearby to stay.Li Xunran refused, saying that if he wanted to stay in a hotel, he would go by himself, if it was impossible, there would be a sofa downstairs.

Qu's mother felt distressed, she already treated Li Xunran as her own son. "How can I sleep on the sofa, how uncomfortable! Listen to me, Director Li can live in Ranran's room, and Ranran will go and squeeze with Hehe for a few days. Anyway, Hehe's bed is big. Two young men, what are you afraid of?"

Li Xunran's head buzzed, it was the two young men who were afraid!He frantically waved his hands to refuse, but Ting Qu He said: "Okay, I think so too. Anyway, it's only a few days, just squeeze and pass. The key is that you two can live comfortably."

Li Xunran looked at him, feeling that the smile on that face had countless meanings, none of which were good.But he couldn't utter a word, his mind was muddled by this coming fact, but his heart was full of fear and anticipation.

Director Li thought about it and thought it was a good idea, so he agreed.The old man was exhausted by boat and car, and after washing up early, they went back to their houses, leaving two young men with evil intentions looking at each other in the living room.

Qu He started picking up people as soon as he got off the plane, and the jet lag hadn't reversed yet. At this moment, he couldn't help but yawned a lot. Li Xunran couldn't bear it: "Wash up and sleep, you've been tossing around all day." After speaking, he got up and went bathroom.

When he finished washing and entered the room, Qu He was already lying on the bed.

"You don't take a shower?!"

"How can I do it? I washed it in my own room. I also have a bathroom here." Qu He stretched his waist and pointed to the left side beside him. Mom walks around."

Li Xunran hesitated for a moment, and walked over step by step. He felt that his legs were extremely heavy, and he exhausted all his strength with every step.

Qu He looked very casual, said good night after lying down, turned his back to Li Xunran, turned off the desk lamp, and fell asleep like this.

Li Xunran lay upright on the bed, not daring to move, in the darkness, he heard his heart pounding, it sounded like a beating on the forehead, and the veins on the side of his brain thumped.His mind was full of Qu and that unintelligible smile.

Qu He next to him seemed to have fallen asleep quickly, and he didn't move again, his breathing was inaudible.Li Xunran lay down for an unknown how long, and after finally confirming that the people around him were really asleep, he turned over quietly and gently, facing Qu He's back.The thick curtains blocked everything out, and there was no light, but Li Xunran felt that he could clearly see the curves of Qu and the back, from the neck to the back, and the beautiful butterfly bones.

He moved forward cautiously, getting closer.He and him may not have any physical contact in the future, but he misses that hug, with the scorching body temperature, driving away the illusion in his mind.He wanted to get closer to him, taking advantage of the night and the ignorant sleepiness to give himself the last chance to touch.

He thought about this, so he did it, stretched out his hand, and gently pressed it against the pajamas on his back, buried his head closer, almost touching his neck.

He finally leaned on his hands, and through the pajamas, he could feel the temperature coming like an air current, making his heart itchy.He let out a long breath, closed his eyes, and prepared to fall asleep like this.

The man suddenly moved.

His left hand grabbed Li Xunran's hand on his back, and quickly turned over and lay flat.The hairs all over Li Xunran's body stood up, his whole body was tense, even his breathing was stagnant, he didn't dare to move, he could only pretend to sleep with his eyes closed.

For a long time, there was no more movement.

Li Xunran moved his body bravely, but there was still no movement.He breathed a sigh of relief, probably dreaming.The hand was still being held, and he was extremely embarrassed. He tried to pull his hand out. As soon as he moved, the opponent's hand tightened obviously. The long fingers clasped his hand tightly, and they were so firmly connected together, like a knot that had been twisted and twisted thousands of times.

A low voice rang in my ears: "Don't move, Mom and Dad are here, we'll talk about it when they go back. That's it for now, don't move."

In Li Xunran's heart, fireworks were scattered, illuminating the night like day.

☆, I am with you, just like being with myself (6)

[He Xun] Close friends living together (16)