bud

The temperature dropped suddenly in December, and a biting cold wind blew up in the sky. The road was covered with withered yellow leaves, making it difficult for people on the street to move.

Jiang Yu heard someone say that this winter is colder than every previous year.

Small towns in the north are indeed cold in winter, but this year's winter is too cold, and the wind blows again, making people shiver uncontrollably.When Jiang Yu returned to the dormitory, the other three were playing games under the covers, and the air conditioner was turned on in the room.

Xie Mingyu poked his head out and saw him who hadn't seen him for a long time, and was stunned for a second: "You didn't go to the laboratory."

Just as Jiang Yu came out of the laboratory, he didn't say much, "Take the book."

Seeing that he was about to leave again, Xie Mingyu said, "Aren't you going to stay in the dormitory anymore?"

Jiang Yu paused: "Probably."

Xu Meiyin's mood was more unstable than when Jiang Dezhi passed away. He seemed to be going crazy every day. He had to see him every day. He was strictly controlled, so he had to shorten his time in the laboratory.

Xie Mingyu got out of bed and handed him a cigarette.

Jiang Yu glanced at it, then turned around and went to the balcony. The wind was strong on the balcony, and the two lit cigarettes with their backs to the wind, looking at the sky outside the window.

"Did something happen to you?" Xie Mingyu said after asking, "Of course it's okay if you don't say it, I just think it would be better to say it."

The smoke that was exhaled was instantly blown away by the strong wind, leaving only the bitter taste in the mouth.

Seeing that he didn't speak, Xie Mingyu extinguished the cigarette between his fingers: "Have you looked in the mirror? You're frighteningly thin now."

Jiang Yu remained silent, and Xie Mingyu stopped asking.

Because Jiang Yu is not in the dormitory every day, the number of times several people meet can be counted on one hand. When they meet, they will say hello, but Jiang Yu speaks less and less often. The question will not answer anything.

Xie Mingyu remembered that the Jiang Yu he met at the beginning of school was very different from the person standing in front of him now.

Jiang Yu called a car and went back to Baihua Hutong. There were fallen leaves all over the ground, and they rustled when they stepped on them.He returned to the living room and saw Xu Meiyin sitting on the sofa blankly.

Before Xu Meiyin looked over, he looked away, went to the kitchen and simply cooked a bowl of noodles and brought it to her.

He returned to the house, skillfully took out the pack of cigarettes, sat at the desk and looked at the guitar without saying a word.

By midnight, there were already seven or eight cigarette butts on the ground.

He can't sleep.

He didn't dare to sleep either.

As long as he closes his eyes, Jiang Lai's face will appear in his mind, with anxious and frightened calls one after another, and the cold lake water emerges from his heart, soaking everything in him bit by bit, until the end Waking up almost asphyxiated.

He kept repeating this dream, and when he was awakened, there was silence around him, only the sound of his breathing.

The air conditioner was not turned on in the room, his hands and feet were so cold that he almost lost consciousness, the cigarette clip between his fingers was unstable, and with a light shake, the ash fell on the back of his hand.

He stared at it in a daze for a while, and a few seconds later he felt the pain of his skin being burned.

After taking a puff of cigarettes into his lungs, a violent nausea gushed out of his chest. He bent down and coughed all the time.

It's already bright.

Hou Yi went on vacation earlier than the rest of them. The day after he came back, he went to the University of Medical Sciences to find Jiang Yu. He waited in the cold wind for a long time, shivering from the cold, and when he looked up again, he almost jumped when he saw a figure not far away. Just froze in place.

The surrounding students couldn't bear the cold wind, and trotted away in a hurry.And that figure walked slowly, with extremely light steps, and did not respond to the cold wind blowing on his face, so thin that he seemed to fall down at any time.

Hou Yi hurried over to take off all the gloves and scarves and put them on for him, and looked up to see Jiang Yu's appearance clearly.

His face was pale, and his eyes were like a pool of stagnant water.

The heating in the nearby restaurant was fully turned on. Hou Yi brought him a pot of hot water to warm his hands and let him drink it to warm his body.

"Why have you lost so much weight?" Hou Yi frowned, "I was looking for you and you didn't say anything, which scared me to death. What happened to you and Zi Luo? Why did you suddenly separate?"

Jiang Yu still didn't speak, Hou Yi stood beside him: "Okay, you don't want to say I won't ask. But you can't treat yourself like this, look at what you are now, if Luoluo sees it-- "

Facing Shang Jiang Yu's gaze, Hou Yi's voice stopped abruptly.

He looked at Jiang Yu and forgot what to say. He only felt that when this person was mentioned, his emotions would fluctuate.

After calming down, the waiter brought some hot dishes, followed by two bowls of hot noodles. Hou Yi looked at it and hesitated: "I went to find Zi Luo before I came back."

Jiang Yu rubbed the bottle body with his fingers, the store was very warm, and he didn't seem to be so cold anymore.

"...He also lost weight, and he didn't go to the piano room anymore, and he didn't follow him when he was on tour." Hou Yi said, "I also asked him why, and he didn't say anything, just like you."

The face was emitting heat, Jiang Yu looked at it for a long time, then raised his hand and rubbed his eyes.

"Do you know why Meng Shu and I separated?" Hou Yi smiled, "There is no reason, it's because I'm tired and I'm with a senior from our school."

"Actually, when I was with Meng Shu, I once really seriously thought about whether I should go on with her forever. But." Hou Yi paused and lit a cigarette, "Emotions are really useless. I can't control it, I'm scum, I'm sorry for her, I admit it."

"A few months before I went to City A, I thought about whether to separate from her, and I didn't think it would last long." Hou Yi looked up and looked at him through the thin smoke, "But I really didn't think about you We will be separated from Ziluo."

"The two of you grew up together, and your relationship is always stronger than others. Although neither of you wants to say the reason, I still think... Tsk." Hou Yi frowned and thought for a while, "No one thinks See you like this."

While talking, the kung fu noodles were slowly getting cold. Hou Yi called the waiter to heat it up. Jiang Yu kept his head down, and Hou Yi stopped talking. Seeing that he hadn't eaten, he brought some vegetables for him.

When the face came up, Jiang Yu didn't move.

"Not to mention, I still have to eat." Hou Yi said, "It won't be so cold after eating a bowl of noodles. How can I finish eating so many dishes?"

Jiang Yu moved his fingers, shook his head, and said, "I can't eat it."

Hou Yi didn't understand: "What do you mean?"

Jiang Yu kept silent.

The students nearing the end of the term are all very busy. Jiang Yu didn't go to the laboratory these days, but was reviewing in the study room of the library, and went home when the time was up. When he got home, he found that the ground was a mess again.

Xu Meiyin was still mad, she picked up a ceramic cup and threw it on the ground, it instantly fell apart.

"Get out! Get out! What the hell are you running here to ask me for a son? I should ask you for a son! Your son killed my son and you want to take him away? There is no door! I'll just let him Stay in this home forever and never forget what happened!"

Xu Meiyin yelled at the empty surroundings, and smashed all the things that could be smashed nearby: "Who will give me back my son...you give me back my son, what are you... ..."

Xu Meiyin didn't notice him, Jiang Yu watched for a while, and then slowly walked out of the gate.

He sat on the stone pier and stared blankly for a while, thinking that his and Zi Luo's birthday was just around the corner, but when he took out his phone, he suddenly realized that it was useless, Zi Luo's contact information was forcibly deleted by Xu Meiyin, and his phone number was deleted Pull the black, all the records for so many years are gone.

...the records of so many days and nights are gone.

Jiang Yu knew that deleted friends could be added back, and blocked phone numbers could be pulled back. He could call and listen to Zi Luo's voice. Repeat that sentence countless times through the phone... I hope Zi Luo can hear it.

……I miss you so much.

Jiang Yu shrank himself into a ball, and his fingers tightly grasped the cold stone. He was thinking about the person far away in City A all the time, and wanted to say this sentence all the time.

There was the sound of tires ahead, and after Xie Xiaoan parked the car, he saw a figure in front of the door.

"Xiao Yu?" She stepped forward, "What are you doing sitting at the door in this cold weather?"

As soon as the words fell, Xu Meiyin's roar sounded again, and Xie Xiaoan sighed: "Come back with me, I'll get you something to eat."

With a tingling pain in his stomach, Jiang Yu stood firm in the cold wind. He glanced at Zi's yard and shook his head slightly.

Xie Xiaoan didn't insist anymore.

Before entering the door, Jiang Yu turned to look at Xie Xiaoan, and called out, "Aunt Xie."

Xie Xiaoan smiled lightly.

Jiang Yu said, "I'm sorry."

The weather in City A is better than that in Zhangcheng, Zi Luo didn't wear a scarf, and prepared the materials needed for the end of the term, and just returned to the rented hut.

The curtains were not drawn, and the room was illuminated by the light from the outside, and it was still possible to see clearly without turning on the lights.Zi Luo glanced at the time and sat motionless by the window.

It was almost midnight.

In the silent night, the door was knocked suddenly, Zi Luo turned his head almost suddenly, his eyes fixed on the door, he stared at it for a while, and when he opened it, he saw a smiling girl.

Zhenxi was still carrying the violin, looked at him and smiled: "I finally waited for you to come back!"

This girl is Tian Lang's apprentice, and has won many awards in violin competitions. Seeing the video of his performance, she always invites him to be her partner.Zi Luo felt tired, seeing that she was a girl, he didn't intend to let her into the house: "Go back."

"How many times have you rejected me, don't be so hard-hearted. We are two partners, and No.1 must be ours. This award will be of great benefit to us studying abroad in the future." Zhenxi looked at him expectantly, " I didn't intend to pester you, I was not satisfied with my partner, you just cooperate with me once, we win-win."

Zi Luo nodded slightly and looked at her: "I don't plan to go abroad."

"I know from my master that you have been contacted by an American conservatory." Zhenxi said, "Although I don't know why you don't continue to tour with Teacher Cheng, these opportunities can't be asked for no matter how many people ask for them. You really Do you want to give up?"

The girl looked past him and saw the piano bathed in moonlight.

In the end, Zi Luo didn't say anything, and sent her home safely, and walked back to the apartment.It was very cold at night, and the wind blew by. He stood downstairs and looked up. The building was too high, and he didn't know which floor was the one he lived in.

He went to look at the moonlight covered by clouds, and it was already past twelve o'clock.

"Happy birthday." He said softly.

Suddenly there was a soft sound from behind, like the sound of fallen leaves being crushed. Zi Luo turned around and looked, the street lights illuminated every tree, and there were only the reflections of the trees around.

He didn't move, didn't look away.

A gust of cold wind came from far away, the fallen leaves were blown away, the shadow behind the tree swayed, the rustling sound sounded again, Zi Luo opened his eyes slightly, and stepped forward.

But that figure was retreating.

Jiang Yu stepped back in a panic, crushing countless leaves.

Zi Luo stopped there, quietly looking in his direction.

Jiang Yu kept shaking in the cold wind. He grabbed the tree trunk to support himself to prevent himself from falling. The figure in front of him was already blurred, but now he could hardly see clearly.

He thought, if the moonlight is brighter tonight, maybe he can see whether Zi Luo has been looking at him.

Starting this year, setting off fireworks and firecrackers is prohibited in Baihua Street, which plunges the Jiang family, which already has no Chinese New Year atmosphere, into a deep night.Meng Lu bought a lot of vegetables and brought Meng Chunxin over, and left after a while, letting Meng Chunxin talk with Xu Meiyin.

But Xu Meiyin's temper was really unpredictable, so Meng Chunxin just silently stayed by and peeled a small bowl of pistachios.

The gate of Jiang's house was locked, and Jiang Yu didn't even leave his room because Xu Meiyin was afraid that he would meet Zi Luo.

The bear was hugged by him, and he stared blankly out of the window, staring at the gap in the gate, trying to recognize Zi Luo's figure among the people coming and going, he kept thinking about the scene of Zi Luo passing by the door when he came back, I hope Zi Luo can stay for a while longer so that he can recognize him.

A cigarette was extinguished, and Jiang Yu heard the sound of a bell.

He was concentrating on listening to the movement, and only heard Xie Xiaoan calling Zi Chengmin, this year they still went to the old man's house for the New Year.Jiang Yu heard Zi Chengmin ask, has Luoluo been there?

But Xie Xiaoan's voice was so low that Jiang Yu couldn't hear the answer clearly.

The door rang, Meng Lu rushed back from the shopping mall to cook, Meng Chunxin was helping.At noon, lunch is ready, a table of hearty meals.

Meng Chunxin gave him meat, and Meng Lu asked him to eat more.

Before the meal was over, Jiang Yu went to the bathroom and vomited up. He didn't eat much, but his stomach was empty after vomiting, his legs were weak, and he sat on the ground in embarrassment.

The bathroom door was open, Meng Chunxin handed him a piece of paper, and called softly, "Brother Jiang Yu."

Jiang Yu didn't take the paper.

"I... after thinking about it, I'll tell you." Meng Chun couldn't bear to look at him, "I saw Brother Zi Luo, he left after a while after he came back, probably because he went to celebrate the New Year."

"He saw me too." Meng Chunxin said, "He didn't say anything, he stopped at the door for a few minutes, I could see that he was very worried about you."

"So, can you take care of yourself? He will be so distressed when he sees you like this."

Jiang Yu got up to wash his face, then looked up at the person in the mirror.

He couldn't eat anything for a long time, and would vomit up after eating a little. Because he often had nightmares, he didn't dare to close his eyes, and almost kept his eyes open every night waiting for dawn.

He doesn't like the people in the mirror, so Zi Luo should not see him.

A few days after New Year's Eve, Xu Meiyin said that she had already found a house and planned to move out of Baihua Hutong.The moving team moved things out bit by bit. Jiang Yu stood in the yard watching the withered persimmon tree, and heard the ringing of bells from far to near.

Sanbai hadn't seen him for a long time, and now he jumped on him excitedly. Jiang Yu touched its head and heard someone calling him.

Hou Yi carried some gift boxes in his hand and said to come and see him.

Jiang Yu didn't go to see Xu Meiyin in the living room, but Hou Yi said aunty to follow him into the house.

Hou Yi pinched Sanbai's big ears and said with a smile, this dog is really fat.

Jiang Yu took out a cigarette and handed it to him, but Hou Yi didn't pick it up and said, stop smoking.

He watched Jiang Yu finish smoking two cigarettes. Sanbai didn't like the smell of cigarettes, so he ran to the side to play, and the bell kept ringing.

Jiang Yu kept staring outside the gate, watching that the truck was almost full.

Suddenly, he heard a familiar beep——

He turned his head to look for the source of the sound, and saw Sanbai biting the recording doll and looking at him, Jiang Yu immediately dropped the cigarette in his hand and rushed over, trying to get Sanbai to let go of it.

The beep is still ringing.

"Press 3 and you can say the keyword Dai Dai will search for the recording for you..."

Jiang Yu shouted: "Three hundred!"

"...Press 0 for encrypted recording, just enter the password..."

Jiang Yu stopped walking.

what?

Hou Yi helped him catch Sanbai, Jiang Yu took the doll back into his hand and patted it, his heart was beating violently, and he pressed 0 several times.

The doll prompts: "Please enter the password."

what password?How could he know!

Jiang Yu's hands were shaking all the time. He seemed to have lost his mind. He entered the wrong password several times in a hurry. His hand stopped, and the doll also stopped for three seconds, prompting: "I found a password for you. Prompt, press 1 to play."

Jiang Yu pressed 1 and heard Zi Luo's voice.

Zi Luo's voice, which I haven't heard for a long time, said: "—the password is 1314, idiot."

Jiang Yu entered these four numbers with trembling hands, followed by more Zi Luo's voices, with laughter, doting, happiness, expectation, unbearable, and Distressed——

Jiang Yu, happy birthday, the person I like is you, idiot.

Well, you impatient person didn't find the recording here, then—Jiang Yu, I want to be with you forever.

Jiang Yu wants to be happy every day.

Secretly telling you that I'm saving money and I want to rent a house while I go to college, just the two of us.You haven't found the recording here?You are really a big fool.

Big fool Jiang Yu.

Every time I see you smiling in front of me even though you are obviously unhappy because of family affairs, I hope that time will pass faster and faster.I want to leave with you, every day, every second, like crazy.

……

I never thought about what it would be like without you by my side, it turned out to be so difficult.

You fell asleep next to me, very solid, I think, it would be nice if you could stay like this forever.

Don't buy standing tickets anymore, I feel bad.

Jiang Yu, don't leave my side, even if we meet several times a year, don't leave me.

……

Hou Yi saw Jiang Yu retreating step by step, his eyes were bloodshot, his eyes were terribly hollow, his face was pale, and a few seconds later he knelt heavily on the ground, bumping his head against the wall again and again.

He hurried over to hold him back, but saw his red eyes filled with tears, slowly sliding down his face.

He heard Jiang Yu crying, from the initial forbearance to wailing with great pain.

He had never seen anyone cry so heartbreakingly, and he never thought that Jiang Yu would cry like this.

It was as if the blood in his whole body had rushed to his brain, causing long-term tinnitus. The suffocation in his chest was like a lake submerging him bit by bit. Jiang Yu couldn't hear anything. He tore it again and again, and slammed his head against the wall in pain, unable to regain his sanity.

...Zi Luo knows everything.

He knows everything, only he knows nothing.

This person who has always brought him hope and led him forward has been planning his future.However, he left Ziluo once when he was choosing his choice, and then completely left him in the choice with his family, and he could never find him again.

...he regretted it.

He regretted it. If he hadn't chosen to stay here, if he had applied for University A, wouldn't grandma not have passed away? Those who loved him would still love him, and Zi Luo would still be by his side?

But why did it become like this.

Why can't I go back to anything.

The moving team came twice, Jiang Yu looked at the locked door of Zi's house, and pressed a small envelope under the dead wood branch in front of the door.

He sat in the car and looked at this alley, which was filled with memories of 22 years between him and Zi Luo, whether they were happy or sad.

A small piece of the wall at the door of a house was cracked. Jiang Yu suddenly thought of the time when he fell down and was carried home by Zi Luo when he was a child. Luo carried him hard and walked forward, no matter how tired she was.

Zi Luo had really carried him on his back before he was five years old, Jiang Yu remembered.

……

The alley returned to calm, and after a while, the envelope was opened, and a jade and a key were held in the man's hand, and a few lines of delicate handwriting came into view.

Aunt Xie, thank you for your care and love over the past 20 years.I am very worried about the persimmon tree in the yard. I hope it can still sprout and bloom when I am away. Please help me take good care of it. ——Jiang Yu.