Lan Juan

Young people are always rebellious, and the form of my rebellion is to hate Lan Juan.

I finally understand why Lan Juan, who doesn't seem to care enough about me, has worked so hard to raise me for so many years.The contradiction between her so-called frivolous and honest personality finally has a sufficiently understandable intermediary point.She - guilty.

One of her wedding invitations indirectly killed my parents.

I memorized a text, "I didn't kill Boren, but Boren died because of me." I said the same thing.

We naturally believe that everything in the world has a cause and effect, that blessings are blessings, and evils are evils, so that we can always remind ourselves to be a good person, an ordinary person who is unconventional, well-behaved, and obedient.Even if it's not as good as Zhang Jiqiang's, he will feel a slight sense of awe because of the funeral in his wedding. This is probably the reason why he tolerates me and treats me kindly.

Lan Juan is even more different, because my mother and her are close friends in the boudoir, and the responsibilities and debts are even heavier.

Of course my reason is enough to tell me that in fact all this has nothing to do with them, but the word "if" is always tricky.

I can't help but miss the vague father and mother in my memory, especially when I meet my mother's old friends, their sighing and slightly respectful kisses when they remember the old people are completely different from the tone of Lan Juan.

My rebellion was small, it didn't show on the surface, I just prolonged my time home from school, trying to respond to a love letter from a male classmate.

But when I wanted to hold hands with him in a beating heart, I found that I had a psychological barrier.

Because of the secret and unbearable voices I encountered and heard since I was a child, I am a little disgusted with men.

What was even more frightening was that I had an unspeakable affection for a female classmate who approached me frequently.She has a boyish head, is thin and handsome, like a brittle grass, it is difficult to add gender to it.The stimulation of interacting with her overwhelmed the others, holding hands and kissing seemed to blow up hundreds of battlefields, so I didn't have time to think about it, since I met dirty men and women, why didn't I have any resistance to women .

Probably because Lan Juan Hengchen's body was good enough that day, even in the messy mattress, she looked like a work of art with a different aesthetic.

It was not surprising that Lan Juan broke into me. This was part of my offense to her. What surprised me was her attitude.

That was the first time I saw Lan Juan who was hysterical and on the verge of going mad.

She kicked my partner out, wiped my hands and dragged me to the bathroom, took the shower head and started to rush at me, rinsing my lips that had been kissed and my breasts that had been stroked.

My half-developed figure was printed by the water, like a rebellion that was about to emerge.

Lan Juan smacked her nose twice, her eyes were red, she swallowed again and again, and finally scolded me through gritted teeth: "Pervert!"

I finally waited for the opportunity to declare war on her. I spoke clearly and tremblingly the words that had been brewing under my tongue for several months. I asked her with the contemptuous tone unique to adults, do you think you are not perverted? Are you having sex with those men? Come and play, aren't you perverted?

People like you don't know what love is, what is free and equal attraction, what is unrestrained and passionate purity.

You can only climb high branches and mess people up, you're just—a broken shoe!

I don't quite remember whether all these words came out of my shell at that time, I had a cold war, so that I missed the change of Lan Juan's expression.

But I remember that she threw away the water pipe, and turned it on to the maximum water flow on the ground, washing half of her wet.

Leaning against the door frame, she nodded and admitted: "I'm also a pervert."

"I fucked your mother."

In the past ten years or the next ten years, I have never had such a moment of falling into the ice cave, even when my parents passed away.I played this sentence in my head like it was stuck on tape, and the battery was pretty good.At that time, I was thinking, what does this "fuck" mean? Is it what I said earlier, she did it like a man, or did she tamper with some places and killed Lan Ping?

I'd rather she killed Lan Ping.

That way my upper and lower teeth wouldn't shake so much.

But Lan Juan didn't give me a chance to save my life. She seemed to hold it in for long enough, until I became half an adult, and then she started telling me this story.

I don't want to add "my mother" to this story, allow me to call her Lan Ping.

In Lan Juan's story, she and Lan Ping are a gay couple who met in a painting training class.At first it was just a teacher-student relationship, no one was aware of the unusual feelings, and by the time they realized it, it was out of control.

She was so infatuated with Lan Ping that even her widowed mother saw the tricks. Her mother was sensible, so she went to suspend her from school, had a sincere and deep talk with Lan Ping, and then arranged for her to marry Zhang Jiqiang, the son of an old friend.

You may be a little surprised that I use the word "reasonable" to describe Lan Juan's mother, but homosexual love was decriminalized in [-]. At the time of Lan Ping and Lan Juan, even when I was with my female classmates , Having a same-sex cross-border relationship is enough to be convicted of hooliganism.

Even Lan Juan, who always looked down on me, became furious. It was not easy for her mother to have a peaceful and deep talk with Lan Ping.

Her mother was not in good health at the time, and she was only worried about this. Lan Ping also had a husband and a young child, and neither of them dared to rebel, so she married in a hurry.

Lan Juan leaned against the wall and soaked the wall, and finally said that Lan Ping is a very cautious person and has never driven smoothly.

Was it because he distracted her that day that something happened?

She asked me, you and her mother and daughter are connected, you look the same as her, and even fell in love with a woman like her.Can you tell me if she was distracted that day?