Epigenetic edge

Chapter 11 Intoxicated

Ye Shenyi started to take medicine, and he really started to lose his hair, his stomach pain became longer and longer, and he vomited blood more and more often.

Sitting in front of the window, basking in the sun, he asked Echizen Nanjiro: "Am I ugly? You won't like this ugly look."

Echizen Nanjiro poured the porridge into a bowl and handed it to Ye Shenyi: "Tsk, I'm too thin and I want to gain weight back. I won't be able to recover after surgery."

Ye Shenyi tilted his head to look at him, how could he fail to notice Echizen Nanjiro's intentions and vague attitude after a long time.But he is willing to go on like this, as long as he wants to get along with him, there will be a chance, the same.So he took the hot porridge with a smile and ate it slowly.

He suppressed all his emotions in his heart, and suppressed all the painful and unbearable resentment.Gradually, it seems that the mentality is also changing day by day.He went from being stubborn to being obsessed, he didn't think about anything anymore, he only wanted that chance of Echizen Nanjiro loving him.

So, they live in harmony.Echizen Nanjiro flipped through the article on Ye Shenyi's desk, and casually said, "Young man, are you ready soon?"

"Well, just polish up the sentence a little more." Ye Shenyi swallowed the porridge in his mouth and said, "Tomorrow, will you accompany me tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow..." Echizen Nanjiro touched his chin and thought for a while, "The day after tomorrow. I won't come tomorrow, I will accompany you the day after tomorrow."

"That's it." Ye Shenyi didn't ask Echizen Nanjiro what's the matter, he just agreed.

In the middle of drinking the porridge, Ye Shenyi vomited again, and drank the porridge slowly after vomiting, and finally finished the next half bowl safely.

Echizen Nanjiro took him downstairs to bask in the sun, Ye Shenyi took his hand and followed him out for a walk.He really likes the feeling of basking in the sun and taking a walk with him, no, as long as Ye Shenyi does anything with him, he likes it.

Ye Shenyi doesn't know how to act like a baby, but after thinking about it, he still said, "Call me by my name. Can you call me by my name?"

The sun shines through the leaves and casts dappled shadows on the grass.Not far away were patients who also came down for a walk and several children in the hospital. They seemed to be in a good mood and were smiling, especially the noise of the children.

Mottled light spots hit the two people under the tree, they walked side by side, Echizen Nanjiro couldn't see Ye Shenyi's expression, but he learned to follow Ye Shenyi's mind in small things.He said, "Ye Shen or Yi?"

"I like that you call me the last one." Ye Shenyi raised his head and smiled.

He had lost a lot of weight, and there was a clear cyan under the corners of his eyes, and his entire face looked tired and bloodless.It is not good-looking enough, even if the foundation is good, it is not as stunning and beautiful as before.But when he smiled, his brows and eyes were bright, which was still very exciting.

"Ah, Yi." Echizen Nanjiro called out.

Ye Shenyi smiled happily, he nodded heavily: "Yes, Nanjiro."

The wind blows through the treetops, the leaves are whirling, and there seems to be the smell of sunshine and green grass in the breath.

He always felt that Echizen Nanjiro didn't love him at all.He thought over and over again, coupled with a little intuition and a little feeling, he felt that Echizen Nanjiro might also love him a little bit.

Until he saw Echizen Nanjiro and Echizen Rinko.With your surname, crown my name.They are a husband and wife who have lived together for many years and have always loved each other ever since.

He was there to hand in the manuscript.Naturally, he ran out of the hospital secretly.Rather than letting Echizen Nanjiro accompany him to go out to work, he prefers to get things done in advance so that he can spend time alone with Echizen Nanjiro.

After handing in the manuscript, he went into a mall, and he needed to buy another hat.Then he saw Echizen Minojiro at the corner of the shelf.He rested his hands on the cart, which was full of various things, including packaged vegetables and weighed fish.

A woman with long chestnut hair was holding a lady's round hat on her feet.Echizen Minamijiro seemed careless, but his eyes kept following the figure of the woman.It seems that he doesn't care, but once the woman has a problem, he will definitely catch her.

That was the first time Ye Shenyi saw Echizen Rinko.He felt that probably all the beautiful words in the world to describe a woman could be used to describe her.At least in Ye Shenyi's eyes, this woman is virtuous, beautiful and gentle.

Echizen Rinko tried on the hat, then turned to Echizen Minamijiro with a smile, as if asking him if he looked good.Echizen Nanjiro glanced lazily, did not know what he said, Rinko was so angry that he wanted to put his hat back.Echizen Nanjiro stretched out his arm to intercept it, and put it into the shopping cart.

Ye Shenyi stood behind the shelf, looking at Echizen Minamijiro and Echizen Rinko, he suddenly understood the difference between love and not love.He saw the person that Echizen Nanjiro had in mind. It turned out that when Echizen Nanjiro fell in love with someone, he could no longer pay attention to other people and things.Beneath the loose skin is a very serious heart.

People really can't expect things that don't belong to them.Because what is not yours will never be yours.No matter how many times Echizen Nanjiro said, this moment did not make Ye Shenyi believe from the bottom of his heart that Echizen Nanjiro...does not love him.If you have seen the eyes of Echizen Nanjiro looking at Echizen Rinko, you will understand the difference between love and not love.

However, it was too late for him to understand.The heart is given out and cannot be taken back.Once love is given, there is no way to say no to love.He had given all his enthusiasm to Echizen Minamijiro, and he couldn't convince himself to let go.

How to do it?

Ye Shenyi sat on the bay window with his knees bent, leaning against the wall, his forehead tilted on the window frame.The window was wide open, and the cold night wind blew in, blowing Ye Shenyi's hair open, revealing a bloodless face.

Ye Shenyi held the wine bottle and drank half of it in one go.He half-closed his eyes, shrouded in the night and the evening wind.

It would be nice if... I met you earlier.If only I met you more than ten years earlier.Ye Shenyi seemed to have opened the door all of a sudden, he would never have a chance, and what he wanted would never be fulfilled in his palm.The warmth he thought he was grasping was actually just that momentary touch.

For more than ten years, he has pinned his emotions on tennis, and Echizen Nanjiro is his spiritual pillar.However, this is all his own dream.Nothing to do with others.Until that person stood in front of him alive, until he enshrined him in his heart.

How could it be possible to let it go.Obsessions are generally engraved in the heart.O my god, your worshipers long for a hand of yours.You can dislike his greed, but he cannot abandon his belief.Therefore, I am doomed to have no dignity in front of you.So there is no need to be humble, and I am not afraid of... becoming mean.

Echizen Nanjiro found Yagami who was drunk in Yagami's house late at night.He sighed with a headache: "Young man, it's too much."

He was called by a call from the hospital in the middle of the night, and spent half the night looking for him in the night wind, even Echizen Nanjiro couldn't help feeling angry. "It's really worrying that you have to at least leave a message when you're going out."

He held Ye Shenyi's shoulders, his hands were icy cold, it was shockingly cold.Echizen Nanjiro was startled, he smelled the smell of blood covered by the smell of alcohol.Ye Shenyi tilted his head and leaned against Echizen Nanjiro's chest, and he retracted himself into Echizen Nanjiro's arms stiffly and slowly.

"Nanjiro..."

"You..." Echizen Nanjiro smelled the wine and blood mixed together on his body, and said, "Young man, you must give me a reason."

Being so sick, he was drunk and blowing cold wind.Really desperate!

"If you want to die, it will be faster to jump from here." Echizen Nanjiro said in a deep voice.

Ye Shenyi laughed, "I can't bear it."

His cold cheeks rubbed against Echizen Nanjiro's warm chest: "Nanjiro, can you love me a little bit too." He begged him, "Don't try to fool me any more. Take a look at me. Take a serious look at me."

Echizen Nanjiro closed the window: "You're drunk."

"No." Ye Shenyi grabbed Echizen Nanjiro's sleeve, "I'm sober. Nanjiro, do you love me? Answer me seriously again, do you feel that you love me, or like me? Yes. Do you love me?"

His voice was soft but unambiguous.Echizen Nanjiro believed him subconsciously, so he remained silent.

"I don't want you to be responsible, I want you to love me." Ye Shenyi hugged Echizen Nanjiro's waist, "If you can love me, then... then it's okay if I don't see you again from tomorrow on. Take a look at me , take a look at me, okay?"

Tears rolled down in beads, he raised his head and looked at Echizen Nanjiro, "Can you just look down at me?"

Echizen Nanjiro closed his eyes and picked him up: "Go to sleep first, I will take you back to the hospital tomorrow morning."

Ye Shenyi's teeth were trembling slightly, and he grabbed the fabric on Echizen Nanjiro's chest: "I beg you... Echizen Nanjiro, I beg you... Just one o'clock, one moment, just look at me, you love me a little bit I know enough, okay?"

"I... I am a person with no future. Even if I survive the operation, I won't be able to live for long. I know that I am strong, and I know that I am not qualified to be greedy and shameless. But you... If you love me a little, I will be willing ..."

Echizen Nanjiro put him on the bed, Ye Shenyi tugged at his clothes, his arms wrapped around his neck, "Answer me, don't let me play a one-man show all the time."

Echizen Nanjiro took a breath, and put his hands on the bed: "Young man, love is not something that can be given away. I don't love you. Let go."

Ye Shenyi coughed suddenly, he turned his head and tightly covered his lips with one hand, and still refused to stop grabbing Echizen Nanjiro's clothes.

"Nanjiro...cough cough...then can you, can you, lie to me..." He tightly covered his lips, his fingers were blue and white, and sticky blood overflowed from his fingers , stained light blue sheets.He suppressed his cough, he begged him, could he lie to him, pretend, pretend to have loved him, lie to him, just for a while.He lay in blood, begging him.

He broke his bones, struggled and tore his flesh, begging him to love him a little bit.Even cheating is fine.

"You lie to me... cough cough... just this moment at night..." He curled up in pain.His white fingers had protruding muscles and bones, clutching Echizen Nanjiro's clothes, as if he would not give up.

But Echizen Nanjiro, he couldn't afford to lie.

He looked at Ye Shenyi, sweating coldly, Ye Shenyi whose body was twitching slightly.He watched him suffer and begged him to grieve.In the end, he just took off his clothes and left without saying a word.

Ye Shenyi embraced the clothes that were still warm but had started to freeze, and closed her eyes.After a long time, with trembling hands, he folded the clothes carefully.Then he got up and went to the bathroom by himself. He turned on the light, lay down on the sink and vomited again.

He pulled his hair behind his ears, and then lowered his hands, with long strands of hair entwined between his fingers, countless.He looked at himself in the mirror, pale and thin, ugly.

Ye Shenyi, people can't expect things that don't belong to them.Because those were never yours.You are doomed not to get that love.The one with empty hands and nothing is you.