Epigenetic edge

Chapter 14 Finale

The day I met you was a sunny day, the sun was shining warmly, you were in the sun, and I was in the shadow.I chase the light, pretending to be in the same world as you.

Echizen Minamijiro, that was a dream in his youth.Ignorant and fearless, young and reckless.There is nothing else in a pair of eyes except him.Presumably, only at this age and under such circumstances is it possible to have desperate courage and reckless love.

His love is far more important than my own pain of life and death.If he loves, it doesn't seem so painful to live for him.If he doesn't love me, then death is a relief.Don't ask me why I haven't considered their worries, no one is me, I don't have as much love and expectations as you.

My life and death may be their regrets and tears, but that is not the loss of the loved one leaving.I am the one who is not loved.Liking is not love, appreciation is not love, pity is not love.As Echizen Minamijiro said, love cannot be given away.Love is when you see him and be unique.No matter what kind of relationship, you can easily like many people, but love is rare and precious, very few.And I, apart from the young and ignorant, only loved one person.

I'm very sorry.I am afraid of the pain and coldness of death, but I am even more afraid of the unknown future and the sadness and loneliness of not knowing whether there will be an end.I don't want to turn on the light alone and keep my eyes open from dark to dawn.Too cold and too silent.I don't want to suffer for a few more months without interest, and I don't want to be a burden for others for a few more months.Since we want to separate, let's go earlier.

Ye Shenyi slowly closed his eyes, and the anesthetic slowly paralyzed his whole body along the flow of blood.He lost consciousness and felt a little pleasure.He conceived and portrayed in his mind the face he had engraved in his heart, Echizen Nanjiro, the person who pulled Ye Shenyi out of a world of one person.

He adores him.That man, who has a nearly perfect life, an immortal career, a happy family and a happy life, is born with the power to attract him.He relied on him for 12 years, loved him for half a year, and felt...very painful...

From having nothing to thinking that he has him, in the end, he still has nothing.

If, I mean if, if someone has a next life, please remember that you must never meet him again.

As for the answer, that kind of stuff... doesn't make sense anymore.

Ye Shenyi was pushed out of the operating room, and the operation was considered a success.But the most dangerous thing is not the operation, but the subsequent inflammation, infection and recovery.Before the effect of the anesthetic was over, Ye Shenyi was pushed out with his eyes closed, Ryuzaki Sumire and Koshikaki Nanjiro only glanced at him, and he was pushed into the sterile ward.

Ryuzaki Sumire kept watch all day, but after all she was too old to bear the fatigue, so she left first at night.Yueqiang Nanjiro insisted on guarding outside the door.Doctors and nurses advised him to come back tomorrow.The hospital didn't have a place for him to rest, and he couldn't enter the sterile ward. Could it be that he had to sit outside all night?

Echizen Minamijiro just laughed and laughed, and kept occupying the seat outside the ward.Through the transparent glass on the door of the ward, he stared at the sleeping person inside.He suddenly felt that that person had fallen asleep and slept so deeply that he would never wake up again.Sitting here couldn't help him with anything, but at least he could see him wake up in the first place.He even vaguely expected that if Ye Shenyi knew that someone had been waiting for him to open his eyes, would he be more willing to return to this world.

He waited until the clock on the wall was "tick-tick", and the hour hand went round and round.In the middle of the night, Yueqiang Nanjiro saw the nurses who made rounds in a hurry come and run away in a panic.After a while, a bunch of doctors and nurses on night shift came.Echizen Minamijiro watched through the glass as the dial of the instrument gradually calmed down.

From the initial first aid to shaking their heads and sighing, the doctors took only half an hour.Echizen Nanjiro watched them gather around the hospital bed, and he realized that he might not be able to wait for the man to open his eyes.

Men in white uniforms filed in and out.They noticed a man standing by the door and patted him on the shoulder reassuringly.They might have said something about doing their best or mourning, but Echizen Nanjiro didn't hear clearly.They said let's go in and see him for the last time, so Echizen Nanjiro went in.

He stood by the bed and looked at the person lying on the snow-white bed who was buried in a piece of white. The face of that person was the bluish-white color of death, and his body gradually became cold and stiff, enveloped by the endless breath of death.He will never open his eyes and smile at him again.

Echizen Nanjiro squatted down, gently stroked his bluish-white cheeks, and silently said to himself: "Yi, I don't love you."

No one will know what he gave up and what he sacrificed when he said it himself and gave him an answer.The only thing that is certain is that he doesn't need to pay or give up anymore, he just lost the opportunity.Is he not late?It's still late.

Some things come too late, too late, and there is no need to say them again.It doesn't make sense anymore.

Echizen Nanjiro rubbed Yagami Yi's hair gently and almost carefully, and whispered but firmly: "Yi, I don't love you."

A thin drop of water slowly fell in a place where Echizen Nanjiro couldn't see, and sank into his hair.

Ok, I know.

Echizen Minamijiro didn't have a choice so he didn't have to.Love it or not, he has answered him too many times, again and again.When did you fall in love with him?Echizen Nanjiro didn't know either.The only thing I know is probably when I got into the grass and lay down in the dirt, and wanted to get that cheap gift back.That's when I realized I loved him.He knew what Ye Shenyi had lost, and he also knew what he was looking for.He didn't fall in love with him at his best, he knew how to love him at his palest.

But he spent his whole life never uttering a word of "love".Probably because I missed the time to say it, so I couldn't say it anymore.When he was in middle age, he loved a very gentle and beautiful boy, and then he died.He died in his best and most beautiful years, and withered when others bloomed.And he didn't keep him.

People can't ask for things that don't belong to them, and Ye Shenyi is probably the one thing that Echizen Nanjiro can never ask for.

Who would have thought that Ye Shenyi even made a will at such a young age, and he handed everything over to Sumire Ryuzaki.Of course, Sumire Ryuzaki also organized his funeral.You mean Echizen Minamijiro?He went to the funeral, and it seemed that was all there was to it.

From now on, a tombstone, Ye Shenyi is inside, and he is outside.After all, they are still people from two worlds.What is fake is what is fake.Their brief intersection is lost forever.Ye Shenyi's pain ended in an instant, and Echizen Nanjiro was the one who was still alive.

Time always goes by so fast, it seems that Echizen Minamijiro is also old in the blink of an eye.After Echizen Rinko passed away two years ago, Echizen Ryoma brought his wife and children back to live with him.Echizen Nanjiro was too stubborn, yes, stubborn, he wouldn't move out of that temple.Echizen Ryoma couldn't hold back him and had to move back to take care of him.

At first Echizen Nanjiro drove them away, but Echizen Ryoma didn't listen to him at all on this point, and gradually Echizen Nanjiro stopped talking.Karubin left many years ago, but the Echizen family has raised the blood it left behind from generation to generation, and it seems that it is still living in the Echizen family.

Echizen Minamijiro sat in a wheelchair, a few-month-old black-and-white kitten dozing on his lap.He couldn't tell if the kitten was Karubin's great-grandson or great-great-grandson.Echizen Nanjiro grabbed the kitten's tail and touched the kitten's ears, the kitten jumped up and scratched him unbearably.He withdrew his hand, but didn't avoid it.

The wind messed up his hair, which turned pale.He stared blankly at the bleeding back of his hand. The kitten didn't expect that he actually scratched its owner, and its cat eyes widened, as if frightened.Echizen Nanjiro smiled lowly, he rubbed the kitten's round head: "Ah, it's okay, it's not your fault."

The kitten let out a soft cry: "Meow~"

Its eyes are big and moist, and when it rubs against you gently, you will feel that it is gentle and has no edges and corners.Especially those eyes, which are soft and harmless, and have the best temper among the kittens.Ha, it turned out to be the same. He hid his sharp claws, making everyone think he was obedient and obedient.

Echizen Nanjiro was caught by a cat, and Sakurano hurriedly took him to the hospital for vaccination.Echizen Minamijiro maintained an indifferent attitude.Even more unwilling to listen to Echizen Ryoma and Sakurano's persuasion not to bully the kitten.He hugged the kitten every day, rubbed his head and pulled his ears, never tired of it.

In autumn, Echizen Minamijiro's health suddenly became bad, and he was admitted to the hospital not long after.Doctors said he was old.After Echizen Minamijiro was hospitalized, he slept longer and longer every day, and in the end he was drowsy almost every day.

He is dreaming every day, dreaming of many people and things from the past.Including those he deliberately wanted to forget that he wanted to seal forever.Ye Shenyi is the strongest stroke among them.He didn't have the energy to control his thoughts anymore, and he couldn't control himself not to miss.

He couldn't remember his appearance, his voice, or even their past.Whether it is happiness or despair, it has been too long.But he still misses, over and over again, the eyes he looked at him in his mind.He heard himself say, "Come out, come out well, survive, I won't lie to you, I will tell you the answer you want."

The boy glanced at him, very gentle and... silent.

If Ye Shenyi really survived, he might choose to repent and pretend to be stupid and forget.However, Ye Shenyi didn't give him a chance no matter whether he admitted or regretted it.Just like Echizen Nanjiro never gave him a chance, Ye Shenyi didn't give him a chance even if he agreed "yes".

Ye Shenyi died too early, he ended everything about them at that time.It stopped abruptly at the deepest moment, and they had no time to forget their feelings, and it was too late to fade away their love and hatred.Echizen Minamijiro can only seal it up, until now he has no ability to deliberately forget it.

During the dying days, Echizen Nanjiro fell asleep and woke up again, vaguely hearing someone calling him all the time.Someone asked him "Nanjiro... have you ever loved me? For a moment, a little bit, or an illusion...Nanjiro...you lied Lie to me... can you lie to me..."

He treats his deep love with contempt.Echizen Nanjiro couldn't afford to love another person.And Ye Shenyi was an existence he couldn't afford to deceive.It is precisely because of love that I dare not pretend to be sex. If "love" is spoken, there will be no room for it.Echizen Nanjiro left enough room for himself to retreat, but Ye Shenyi didn't.

He dreamed of a green meadow, which looked like a rippling lake when the wind blew, and there was a man sitting on the grass.He pulled back his long hair and turned his head. He looked at him and smiled, his brows and eyes were curved, and his smile was gentle and bright.

That person is...that person's name...is...Echizen Nanjiro opened his lips, his voice hoarse, and muttered to himself: "Yi..."

For decades, he sealed up that name for decades. He thought he had forgotten it, but in fact he still remembered it, and he still couldn't forget it.He never said "I love you" to him from the beginning to the end of his life, no matter whether that person is alive or dead.But he did miss him and remember him all his life.

In a person's life, he will meet two people, one is amazing for time, and the other is gentle for years.He always thought that Ye Shenyi was the former, but later found out that he was the latter.Sooner or later, the amazement of time will calm down in the years and become a memory, and the tenderness of the years has always been like a shadow.

One piece of tenderness is luck, but meeting two is a disaster.Echizen Nanjiro thought that Ye Shenyi should be the one who was amazing.It's just that he took care of his tenderness in his arms early, but it was too late to meet the surprise.He eliminated and suppressed the disaster early, and finally became the person engraved in his heart for a lifetime.

Ye Shenyi's love was too deep and too strong, and in the end he destroyed himself and fulfilled a period of love when he was young, but it also cut off Echizen Nanjiro's life.Ye Shenyi died too early, and loved too desperately.

If he can live, they still have time to correct their mistakes, learn to forget, experience more things and see more people, and then meet each other with a smile when they meet again, and each is well.Will let go of the past tacitly.Unfortunately, Ye Shenyi died too early.

If Ye Shenyi's fate is not so bleak and hopeless.Maybe it was all hands off in the first place.

If there was less of a little chance between them, they wouldn't have come to such a tragic and crazy point.

But there is no if in the world.

So Ye Shenyi discarded that seemingly ordinary hair rope.So that hair rope faded in color and was dilapidated, but it ended up in the ashes of Echizen Nanjiro.Life and death cannot be abandoned.He wouldn't even close his eyes without holding it in his hand.

If I can... If I can meet you in the next life... If I can meet you in the next life...

If there is a next life...

If there is a next life, senior, please remember not to meet me.

Ah, I see.

It's just that if there is a next life, boy, I hope to meet you earlier.Ah, it doesn't matter if you don't want to.

......

This life has passed, and I have a relationship with the next life.

The younger generation, each will be safe, and we will never see each other again.

The author has something to say: There is a hidden stalk here, that is, living is not lying to you, so dying is the answer to lying to you.

In fact, there are still a lot of things I want to say [Cover your face] The last chapter is only read and cried by yourself. In fact, I really want to expand on the hair rope in my mind, but I still haven’t written it in the end.Just talk about it here.

In fact, in the setting, this hair rope is the color that Echizen Nanjiro found after searching for a long time, and he weaves it patiently over and over again.It has been sealed in a small box in the cabinet.After Ye Shenyi's death, like that person with that name, he was sealed up by Echizen Nanjiro, pretending to forget it, as if he didn't exist.Never appeared in front of anyone in the Echizen family.Until the end, when Echizen Nanjiro was dying, when he could no longer control his emotions, Sakurano found him and took it out of the cabinet and put it in front of Echizen Nanjiro.But when Eshizen Nanjiro was a little more awake, he threw it into the trash can without even opening it.

Echizen Minamijiro is a person who is very responsible for his family, which is set in the introduction.For him, he has already felt sorry for his wife, and mental derailment is also cheating, so even if his wife has left, he can no longer feel sorry for her.However, he is Ai Yi.Even because Yi gave him so unforgettable, because he suppressed his feelings for decades, because he always felt that he was sorry for Ye Shenyi. He doesn't love himself), so the name Ye Shenyi and anything about Ye Shenyi is a taboo for Echizen Nanjiro.

Once touched, it is no longer that he can end it if he wants to.So at the last moment, he didn't even want to close his eyes without seeing the hair rope.This hair rope is the love that Ye Shenyi left behind, and it is the only thing related to Ye Shenyi in Echizen Nanjiro's hands.Fortunately, although the juniors didn't know why, they still chased the things back from the nurse and handed them over to him.

They both love each other so much.But one can't get the other's love until death, and the other shows deep love when he closes his eyes and becomes confused and unable to control himself.

I still feel that Nanjiro's love is too restrained, so I couldn't help but write these.But it seems that it loses its feeling when it is put in the text, so let's put it here to have a look.Anyway, every time Jie thinks about it, Nanjiro is also a heart, skin, internal organs, and six internal organs are hurting...cry until he can't stop. [covers face] What do you say?Jiezhi himself couldn't help but read it again, after crying blindly...I feel sorry for Yi [Paji] Why do I feel so sorry for him QAQ

Just, so angry, Nanjiro, why can't you be nice to him.Why can't you give him a good hug.Well, I know all his difficulties, and then I understand that although Yi doesn't have any advantage, it doesn't make sense at all, she is a meddler between husband and wife.However, Nanjiro just gave up Yi.He gave up Yi and chose family.He was right, of course he was.However, for the person who made the choice, he gave up a person he loved and chose another person he loved.And the one he gave up died.Even if maybe he didn't live long in the first place.However, he just gave up on him.

……

So Ye Shenyi discarded that seemingly ordinary hair rope.So that hair rope faded in color and was dilapidated, but it ended up in the ashes of Echizen Nanjiro.Life and death cannot be abandoned.He wouldn't even close his eyes without holding it in his hand.

After all... After thinking about it for so long for a lifetime, I really didn't give you anything.You don't bother to take the only thing that can be given to you, so I have to keep it for myself.

I'm always sorry for letting you see this terrible world.I have said many exaggerated things to you, I have been deceiving you, I have never chosen you, and I have chosen to give up on you time and time again.

I'm so sorry, watching you cry, I can only turn a blind eye.I know your pleading and fragility, I thought maybe I can keep you.It's just that I didn't choose you.

So I watched you in pain, watched you despair, watched you sleep into the extreme darkness and never wake up.I thought about lying to you, anyway, I have lied to you so many times, I have lied to say that I can try to love and I have lied to say that I don’t love, so if I lie to say that I love you, I can let you live, so there is nothing wrong with it.

Unfortunately, I can't afford to lie.Maybe it is because of love that I can't afford to lie to you.Speaking out means acknowledgment and betrayal.Even if I have indeed betrayed.Even if I do love you.But I still can't say it, if I say it, I can't lie to myself, there is no room for it.

I want you to know that this world is warm enough and full of expectations.But it seems that all I give you are lies and loneliness.I looked back and racked my brains over and over again. The man in my memory was not gentle enough and impatient with you. He never accompanied you through night after night when you couldn't sleep well, nor comforted you when you cried and begged. One sound.

If such a person says that he loves you, it will be ridiculous to hear it.

He complained uncontrollably in front of you.The only thing he can do for you seems to be that not very tasty food.Well, he doesn't dare to tell you that he is studying for you.Is very worthless.

Just such a person, what do you love about him?

He only reluctantly only perfunctory and evasive towards you.He wants to forget you, he has been trying to completely forget you for decades.He never went to see you outside the holidays, never took the initiative to think of you, and every time he thought of you, he would deliberately forget again.

Yi, he is really a terrible person.He met you, but didn't treat you well.He wants to give you a beautiful enough world, but in the end only he himself thinks that the world is beautiful enough.

If possible, I have thought that I must treat you well... If I can meet you in the next life... the next life...

If there is a next life...

If there is a next life, senior, please remember not to meet me.

Ah, I see.

It's just that if there is a next life, boy, I hope to meet you earlier.Ah, it doesn't matter if you don't want to.

This is Jiezhi’s brain hole when he was in junior high school. It seems that [covering his face] is a long time ago now.I also wrote it a few years ago, but it has been incomplete.Now that I have finally finished writing it, how can I say it, I still feel that it is a bit different from the original idea. It turns out that everyone in the Echizen family and the tennis club are not so marginalized. Sakura is their role, and there is also a person I originally set who likes Ye Shenyi. The primary school girls were all cut off by the referee.

As expressed here, some things are just not the same after a missed time.When I was a child, I was very biased towards Yi, and I felt that I wanted to use my identity as a junior to help the dead Yi and hurt him.And a large part of the responsibility for Yi's death rests on Echizen Nanjiro's body, which is weakened here.My old self was a bit too black and white.But in fact, Echizen Minamijiro has done the best in the worst situation.

Believe me, I love him and don't want to black him!Nanjiro is a man standing on the altar!He is responsible and very responsible!

Echizen Nanjiro's feelings are also more obvious. Love is mutual. In fact, before getting drunk, when playing ball on the grass, there was an ambiguous flow between Echizen Nanjiro and Yi, but neither of them realized it.

But now... how can I say that Yi is a bit of a trifle here, Nanjiro is married!Writing about Yi and Renzi is too uncomfortable.Lunzi is very good, Yi is wrong.So... this is just Yi's love, hoping to minimize the damage.

Oh, yes, stomach cancer here, I don’t remember if I said it before, so let’s say it again.Many cancers can only live for a few months even after surgery.Because many cancer operations are cut off, and the cancer cells are very harmful to the immune system. Even if you survive the surgery, your life will become very fragile.Yi him, it's really hard to survive.As for the result if you go to the doctor earlier, the result will not change. Although the cure rate of gastric cancer is quite good now, the medical level was not as high as it is now many years ago.Whether it can be cured depends on the probability, which means that if it is detected and treated early, it will be cured.Well, but if you are sick, you must go to the hospital as soon as possible!Don't learn from Yi!this is not right!Going to the hospital for treatment and maintaining a beautiful mood is very helpful to the body. (ps, as our teacher said, mood has a magical effect on the treatment of facial expressions in many cases. Smile more~)