Xiaqingshan

Miaomiao

as in the abyss

After Li Zishen went down the mountain, Song Huaijin once asked Xu Daoqian the reason why the senior brother went down the mountain.

Xu Daoqian had already seen through all the opportunities between their senior brothers, he only thought that your senior brother wanted to join the world, so he went down the mountain to join the world.

Song Huaijin didn't understand why his senior brother joined the WTO, he only thought that the other party was to help the society and help the people.It wasn't until later that I went down the mountain to hear that the emperor in the capital had ordered a group of ministers to be punished. From the Hanlin Academy to the Jinluan Hall, there were all people who were imprisoned and died.Song Huaijin wanted to ask clearly, but those people had already said several times before changing the subject of state affairs.

He had never learned divination and divination, so he had to ask his master Xu Daoqian to divination for his brother.

Xu Daoqian knew what he was thinking and put on a good posture, but he only gave a vague answer.As a master, as early as when Li Zishen came down the mountain, he was destined not to interfere with the fate of his great disciple.Xu Daoqian himself is also a person who has been in the world, but the world is too bitter and too troubled, he can't even save himself, he can only hide in the mountains, and be a seemingly open-minded person, but in fact he is powerless.

"The world is involuntary, and sometimes people can only go with the flow."

This didn't seem like something a master would say, and then he asked Song Huaijin why he asked such a question.

Song Huaijin looked into his eyes and looked very determined. He didn't want to lie, and he didn't want to lie.Before Shanggao Tushan, in order to survive, he was a bad boy who often told lies, and once deceived Li Zishen.But after Li Zishen took him to apprentice with Baiyun Temple, he secretly vowed not to deceive everyone around him with lies.

"Not only because he is my senior brother, because he saved me from fire and water, but also because..."

"Because you adore him?"

Song Huaijin was stunned, she didn't expect her master to question herself so bluntly, she even stammered: I, I like senior brother, it's my own business to please senior brother.Don't let senior brother know, how can a person like me like senior brother?

Xu Daogen sighed, thinking that your brother really won't know.When his eldest apprentice learned that King Yan passed away, he was seriously ill, and Song Huaijin took care of him in dismay. He saw it, but the two were born to be rivals, how could they find the opportunity?

Originally, the original score was nothing more than evil fate.

King Yan is Li Zishen's benefactor, but the chief culprit who made Song Huaijin homeless.Yet none of them can say that this is wrong.

One for revenge, one for revenge.After all, love will not be love, nor will it be only love.

Since then, Song Huaijin has been more diligent and indifferent, until one day she also said goodbye and went down the mountain. Only Fu Sheng and Xu Daogan were left on Gaotu Mountain.

Only then did Xu Daoqian realize that it was impossible for him to try to save his brothers and sisters, and it was impossible to save these two children who were destined to be enemies.

Didn't he persuade and warn Li Zishen?Didn't he stop Song Huaijin?

So far, he lived to be 160 and three years old, and suddenly he really saw through the suffering, love, hatred, hatred and ignorance in the world.

If you can't explain everything, or if you understand it, you will still do it.

On the second day, Taoist Xuanzhen no longer appeared in the Baiyun Temple on Gaotu Mountain.

Li Zishen's good friend Xia Xuanxuan bluntly wrote the letter, but became the first bird selected by Xu Dang in the imperial court. A struggle between saying that it is not small and not big caused a storm.Li Zishen couldn't take care of himself, but he still thought about his friends in prison.After the turmoil subsided, Xia Yuxuan fell seriously ill after being released from prison. Li Zishen sought medical treatment for him and took care of everything by himself.Afterwards, Li Zishen himself became sick from overwork, and it was not until the two of them recovered from their illnesses that they were able to fight against Xu Dang again.

It's just that the ministers who exercise power in the court have not been cleared up, and because of the ineffective relief of floods, officials' greed for money has aroused public anger.Li Zishen was so busy with this that he had little time to go back home to rest.However, the people were talking, and the disaster began in the counties and counties that were hit hardest.He was so busy with political affairs that he couldn't support himself, and because of the war, he couldn't wait to go to the battlefield in person.After several months, not only is it difficult to sleep every day, but also the chronic illness, even he himself understands that if he doesn't take a good rest for a while, he may not have much time.

But how can I let it go?How can I not contribute to Li Changying?

The Empress Dowager asked him to let go of the responsibilities that did not belong to him and leave Beijing, only wishing that he could entrust ordinary people in his next life.But Li Zishen couldn't persuade himself.

Until the army approached the city, he seemed to return to the situation 20 years ago.It turns out that 20 years have passed, and everything in the world is really like reincarnation, so similar.

The last time the Empress Dowager saw him was already the fourth day of the siege.The defenders were defeated one after another, and Li Zishen tried his best to defend the gates of the city, holding the army out of the gate for three days with one man's strength, but the besieging soldiers did not disperse, and the people in the city also suffered from the siege.He also has not closed his eyes for three days.

Before Li Zishen entered the palace to meet the little emperor, the queen mother stopped him on the way.

She understood that the child in front of her would eventually end up with the same fate as his family, his father, and his mother, so she could only choke up and say, Lin'er, Lin'er... In the next life, let's give birth to an ordinary family.

The little emperor has no real power, but just a puppet under the jester. Li Zishen helps him cultivate his party members and regain power, but the affairs of the world cannot be settled by these power struggles above the court.The Xu party had already fled the city, and maybe a new emperor would be established soon, and it might lead to the leader of the rebel army who claimed to be the blood of the Yingzong, but none of this had anything to do with Li Zishen.

He wants to protect the young emperor in front of him, this young man who has never been crowned, this child named Li Changying who belongs to King Yan.He taught Li Changying a lot, and now he is here to resign.

"My lord, Li Zishen is here to bid farewell."

Li Changying's eyes were red, seeing the young master's tired face, his body was broken, he wished he could rush to the battle now, but Li Zishen still insisted, asking him to grant his farewell.Li Changying knew that many people had already left. The young master's friend, Mr. Xia, wanted to defend the city together, but was forcibly taken away overnight by an old friend, a chivalrous man named Chen Ruyuan.But Li Zishen did not leave.

"It's not your Majesty's fault that I voluntarily defended the city. The King of Yan once showed me kindness, and I have to repay it in this life. If I talk about it now, it's my share. I've been the Grand Tutor for so many years, so naturally I can't sit idly by. Your Majesty will only regard this as the last lecture for His Majesty."

"It's about this time, what else is the master going to teach?" Li Changying asked him.

Li Zishen just looked at him and stopped talking.

The final homework is to die for the country, which is the responsibility of the courtiers.

He is what he understands best.

Before leaving, the little emperor grabbed Li Zishen's sleeve. This young man with long hair pulled back lightly, with some gray spots on his temples, had thin and slender wrists.Li Zishen slowly took his hand down, looked at the little emperor who was taller than him, and said calmly, Chang Ying has grown up.

This was the last time Li Changying saw Li Zishen in his life, and the last sentence he asked him was: Master, don't you tell me your real name?

Li Zishen stood at the door and shook his head.At this point, turn around and leave.

When Li Zishen was young, an expert once counted a life calamity for him, and he was doomed to be in danger of fire, so he named him He Zhihong, and wanted to suppress fire with water.

During the Five Kings Rebellion, their family stayed in the capital and refused to flee south. The rebels asked the He family master to write an imperial edict to declare his "orthodox" status.During the He family era, they were all scholars, from the official to the chief assistant of the cabinet, they always valued reputation and loyalty the most.

So one night, Li Zishen, who was just five years old at that time, and then called He Zhihong, fell into a drowsy sleep after dinner. He didn't know his grandfather, parents, and his family, except for the servants who had been released long ago. The three of them sat together at the entrance of the house, and his grandfather set fire to this old family house at the west end of Xuanwu Street.

When he was rescued from the thick smoke and fire, the place was already in flames, and his family had already been martyred.

The soldier who rescued him was under King Yan's command, but there were too many homeless children like him in the city, and there was no time to take care of him.He didn't know where he should go, he just wanted to die with his parents, so he decided to find his parents.King Yan personally stopped him, saying that his parents kept him, but they just didn't want him to go, so why would they go against their parents' wishes?

In this way, he survived.

Later, he left the capital alone, and as a child he went around to survive, met Xu Daoqian, worshiped as a teacher, went to Gaotu Mountain, and spent his youth in Baiyun Temple.Xu Daoqian gave him a new name, Li Zishen. The surname was chosen by him. It was the surname of King Yan, and the first name was his master Xu Daoqian.

However, it backfired.

Li Zishen hadn't been home for a few days, and his only servant, Ping An, had already cried several times, seeing him come back now, seeing his young master like this, how could he survive for a few more days? !

Pingan was in a hurry to ask him to rest, and was going to decoct him, but Li Zishen told him not to worry.

Li Zishen took out the divination tools again, and this time was the last time he did the divination.

The result is naturally expected.

When he was young, his family named him Zhihong, and entrusted him with a wish to suppress fire with water, but he did not expect that the leader of the rebel army, Yingzong's exiled blood, should be called Li Changhuan as usual. It's his younger brother Song Huaijin, named Chang Huan, who can be said to have all the words for fire.

Li Zishen smiled wryly, his heart felt aching, the tortoise shell in his hand had already been stained red with blood before he knew it, he lowered his head to look, a mouthful of blood had filled his mouth at some point, and sprinkled in front of him.

Ping An was shut out by him, and he had never seen such a scene, otherwise he would definitely cry.

He remembered that when Chen Ruyuan took Xia Yuxuan away, he once said that if brother Xia still remembers my time serving soup and looking for medicine, he can go to the capital for me to have a look.Suddenly, I felt that what I said was true, and everything in the future had been finalized.Li Zishen picked up the pen and wrote a letter with the last of his strength, then took out something from a box on the bookshelf, and called Ping An in.Together with his seal, it was handed over to Ping An.

"Take my seal and go out of the city. Find someone and give him the letter and this thing, and he will let you keep it." "But the young master is not coming back safely? I'm not here, who will fry the young master?" Medicine?" Ping An didn't want to leave.

Li Zishen tried his best to smile, "Go at ease, His Majesty will send someone here."

The servant left with anxiety, but he didn't know that no one would come again.

He followed behind Ping An, closed the vermilion gate by himself, and set up the gate.No one knew better than himself that he was hopelessly dead, that there was no cure for him, and no one could save him.

On the way Li Zishen walked back to the study step by step, the corners of his somewhat dirty white clothes were always hanging on the side plants.He smiled wryly, the commoner came, and eventually the commoner left, how could the grass and trees pull the clothes, so reluctant to give up?

There are many manuscripts in his study. He likes to read history, which is also the hobby of his father He Jing.He read a lot of books in his father's study when he was young, and wrote a lot of articles when he returned to the capital when he grew up. Now it is convenient to put them in this room.He took the burning candle beside him, and lightly lit the manuscripts one by one.

He remembered what Xu Daoqian said about losing his seniority. It turned out that the master had always worked hard to preserve the last blood of his best friend's family.

And he failed his master's expectations after all.

He remembered the unyielding look in Song Huaijin's eyes when he met Song Huaijin in the border town.

He thought of the feeling that he wanted to die when he saw the remains of his parents in the capital.

I knew that everything in the world was nothing compared to the heaven and the earth, but the epiphyllum in the morning dew, but...

It turns out that 20 years ago is no different from 20 years later.

Li Zishen knelt down in the direction of Mount Gaotu and bowed three times. In the midst of the fire, it was as if he had returned to the only place in the world. On Mount Gaotu, there were long white clouds.

In the light of the fire, Li Zishen suddenly seemed relieved and let go of some heavy burden. He smiled and muttered to himself: I can finally go back...

Li Zishen lived to be 25 years old. Together with his family members who died in the fire decades ago, they still died of the fire after all.

On the third night when the soldiers approached the city, Song Huaijin should have had a sleepless night, but this was not the case.

The lights on the city gate that should have been on went out, and it seemed that no one was defending the city, but Song Huaijin did not choose to attack the city immediately, but chose to camp on the spot.

He knew Li Zishen best.They grew up together, worshiped the same master, learned the same art of war, read the same books, and fought in the same formation. He even recalled Li Zishen holding his wrist and showing him The scene of the small house on the sand table.So he chose to camp.

In the middle of the night, there was no light in the tent, and Song Huaijin suddenly fell into a dream while stroking Li Zishen's old hair tie tied around his wrist.The dream was intermittent, there were no continuous scenes and pictures, only people were talking constantly.

There are men, there are women, there are people Song Huaijin knows, and there are people who don't.There was Xu Daogen, there was Fu Sheng, and there was Li Zishen, whom he hadn't seen for a long time.It's like the night when Song Huaijin invaded Canglan City, in his dream, he suddenly remembered the old ballad that Li Zishen taught him. I heard that it was taught by Li Zishen's mother:

The rain in spring shocks the sky in spring and Qinggu, the summer is full of awns and summer heat is connected, the dew in autumn is cold and frost falls in autumn, the snow and snow in winter are small and severe cold...

What is a mother like?Song Huaijin had already forgotten.

Sometimes he would suddenly think of the woman who didn't love him.

In her memory, on the day when King Yan’s army invaded Mobei, she hugged herself to the little pony. The pony was neither tall nor strong. Knowing the way through humanity.

She pressed against Song Huaijin's forehead and stroked his hair of different lengths. The child in front of her looked more like his bastard father, only with those eyes, which were similar to hers.

For the first time, as if it was the last time, she was so close, she said to him, go away, never, never come back.

That day, he stared blankly at this woman who obviously didn't love him, and even showed hatred, and shed tears, but he couldn't call out A Niang.

He supported his horse alone and galloped on the grassland in the cold night. He didn't know where he was going in front of him, but behind him was the seemingly endless night of the faint grassland.The woman's voice came to his mind, singing softly and slowly the song of the prairie.

The grassland is not your home, there is no home between heaven and earth.You don't need it anymore, you just need to be able to survive.

Little wolf cub, you have to live.

His mother never called him by his prairie name, so much so that he even forgot that his original surname was Helian.There is always wolfish blood on his body.

That was his last memory of his mother.

He didn't know why he suddenly dreamed of Li Zishen and his strange aunt.

Wake up again, it's wartime again.

After leaving the camp, someone from the enemy came to deliver a letter, and was taken as a prisoner before him.

The child in front of him looked to be only eleven or twelve years old, and the letter and token were handed to him together.It was a piece of rough sapphire carved in the shape of a wolf.

Song Huaijin naturally recognized it, he gave it to Li Zishen as a birthday present.Afterwards, Li Zishen also returned the jade pendant on his body to him.

"How is this thing in your hands?!" He questioned.

The child replied, "Young master asked me to deliver the letter..."

He opened the letter tremblingly, and saw his senior brother's familiar handwriting.

Later, someone else's voice pulled him back here, and someone came to report that there was water in the city, which seemed to be on the west side of Xuanwu Street.

Ping An was shocked, thinking of Li Zishen's words before he left, and then realized that this was just a way to send himself away.

That's right, the few words in the letter were just to tell Song Huaijin to be a good person no matter what.

It's just that Li Zishen didn't know that Song Huaijin had never thought about becoming an emperor or killing anyone—he just wanted to take Li Zishen away.

Song Huaijin arrived in front of the house at the end of Xuanwu Street that he had heard about countless times, crossed the courtyard wall, and the house on the other side of the small pond was already on fire.

In Song Huaijin's eyes, it seemed that there was only this blazing light left between the heaven and the earth.

He rushed into the house and saw Li Zishen lying in front of the case.

The senior brother was right in front of him, but he didn't dare to reach out and hug the person who grew up with him.

He remembered that in the border town many years ago, Li Zishen took his hand and said to him, it's okay, I will take you away, and I will take care of you.

His eyes blurred for a moment, and he choked up.

"Brother, let's go back, let's go back, you and I go back... let's go back to Gaotu Mountain, let's go back..."

Song Huaijin didn't know what he was talking about, he didn't dare to probe Li Zishen's breath, but walked out of the fire step by step with Li Zishen who had already lost consciousness and could no longer answer him.The flame climbed to the corner of his clothes, but he didn't know it at all.

Until then, he really understood, what his mother said, there is no home for you between heaven and earth.You don't need any more.

He no longer has a home.