Born to haggard my heart

I held the big emerald on my finger, immersed in the comfort she gave me, like a lamb that had been lost for a long time, found the flock, warm, down-to-earth, and relaxed.

Whenever I was shocked outside, I would always look for An Feifei's familiar smell, which made me feel at ease and gave me a sense of security.Probably at that time, I fell in love with him, I didn't know it, tears flowed down my face, but now, I can no longer look for that taste.

I'm just his stand-in.

An Feifei, I love you, so I hope you love me, not others.It's that simple.

I cry alone in the dark night, and taste my heartache alone.

A voice sounded in my mind: "Son, you are so sad, can you change your mind?" The voice of an old lady.

"What do you think?" I asked her

"You love him to the point of being sad. But not to the point where you would happily accept him even if he was used as a stand-in. You can't let go of yourself."

I swallowed a tear: "I can't do it."

The old voice sighed: "Poor child, you need the ability of this gem so much, but you are still so sad, I can't bear to negotiate terms with you. Do you know? Child, in nearly 2000 years , only I am her master, and human beings only possess her for a few decades, no matter how much they like her, no matter how greedy her abilities are. In front of her, human beings are just passers-by, and I am her real master."

"Tell me, what are the conditions?" I need her abilities so much.

"Of course it is an exchange condition. You can't get the ability of this gem for nothing without paying an equivalent exchange condition." I understand.

"What do I have? I don't have enough to trade it for."

The old lady smiled: "I don't need worldly things, you can exchange treasures with her all over your body."

I still don't understand: "like?:"

"For example, your appearance, your eyes, your sense of hearing, your sense of taste, your voice, your ability to move... choose one and exchange it with me, and the ability of this gemstone will belong to you."

I figured which of the choices she gave was important.

My appearance is obtained by peeling off layers of skin, so the pain still feels terrible when I think about it now, of course it is not allowed.

Taste, I love food so much, how can I lose my sense of taste?

eyes, vision?Absolutely not, when you were blind, you still remember You Xin, don't be blind again!

So I picked the thing that is least important to me right now: sound.

The old lady smiled with satisfaction: "Okay, your voice is very beautiful, I like it very much. We have reached a gentleman's agreement, the ability of this gem belongs to you. Your voice belongs to me."

"Okay." I held her tightly, feeling at ease, because I don't have to worry about losing her again.

Kai's museum is very large, and there are many tasks, appraisal, acquisition, exhibition, auction, various departments, division of labor, cooperation, all in an orderly manner.

When he goes to work, I always follow him. Sometimes I can see things from the Qing Dynasty at a glance, which makes him and the staff look up to him even more.

It is the staff who can get the things he can see in front of him that he can't see for sure, so he is allowed to give him eyes.

And to me, that message was too obvious.

He spends a lot of time abroad, and in recent years he has been engaged in the return of overseas cultural relics.Last time he came into contact with a gilt bronze Buddha in the Qing Dynasty and intends to buy it back.

After a while, I will go back to Europe.He wanted to take me there this time.I refused on the grounds that I did not have an ID card.

All my things that can prove my identity are with An Feifei.And I never mentioned anything about the past.

It's also rare that Kai didn't do what An Feifei did: I trust you, and you can't do anything to betray my trust.To exchange equally.

Kai just saw me as a person and trusted me even though he knew nothing about me and only knew a name.

As he said, once you get your hands on an antique, you can judge its dynasty, its value, its material, and its rarity. Behind this is the accumulated experience of countless appraisals, the precipitation of culture, and the appreciation of history. learn.

And it's the same when looking at people. After so many years in the antique shop, he has seen a lot of people's faces, all kinds of indisputable situations, and all kinds of stories about his ancestors are all made up.He has seen a lot of cunning, greed, hypocrisy, and all kinds of ugliness in human nature. At the age of 30, he has already seen people.

He said: "You are different from ordinary people. I feel that you are very clean, clean in heart, not fake, not pretending, not worldly, not kitsch, and a very pure person. Whatever you want to say, don't beat around the bush. When you are together, you don’t have to guess people’s hearts, and it’s not tiring.”

He looked at me with his usual affectionate eyes and continued to drive.I wore a mask, sunglasses, and remained silent as always.

I think if he wants to check, the huge and numerous advertisements I shot before are enough to arouse his interest.Call the magazine and ask, Monica is also looking for me, sorry MOnica.

I looked at my own advertisement that flashed by, and my heart was full of apologies to MOnica.I am not a person who likes to owe others.

Kai, don't ask, don't check, he trusts me so much, he falls in willingly.I don't like that.Because I know, falling in love with someone, but the other person doesn't love you, that kind of pain.

And now, knowing that he likes me, but I don't like him, I still follow him shamelessly, just because of the contract between me, him, and the ring.

I would die of heartache losing my emerald ring.Can't breathe, can't sleep.

But with the passage of time, I found that the power of emerald is gradually weakening, and its effect on comforting my heart is gradually decreasing.Just like taking drugs, drugs are still drugs, and drug addicts become more and more addicted to drugs, and then they feel that the drugs are not pure enough and the amount is not enough.

I miss An Feifei every day, I stroke the gemstone, press down this thought, and drive An Feifei out of my mind.It's just that the process is getting more and more difficult.

Want to sleep again?Sleep here.

Stop sticking your hands and open your mouth.

Don't move, wipe your mouth.

Even if he's a vampire, I'll feed him with my own blood.

. . . . . . . . .

Driving past the gate of New World Plaza, I looked at this huge building, and felt a twinge of pain in my heart. I couldn't stand this place. It seemed that An Feifan was present in every familiar place.

I wrote a few words on the notepad I carried with me: Let's go to Europe.

Kai took a look and replied with one word: "Okay."

Kai actually got me an ID card, and it was real, but the name was still for nothing.After getting the ID card, seeing my surprised expression, he smiled a little smugly: "Money can make Motui ghost"

So, we booked a flight to Northern Europe this winter.

The day before I left, I went to the pawn shop by myself and pawned off two cute owl diamond collar buttons waiting for them with big eyes.The clerk said he wanted □□, where can I get him □□.No, the price is greatly reduced. When I bought it, it was less than [-] yuan, but now it is only less than [-] yuan.

I took the money and bought a set of Nordic winter clothes. The Nordic winter is really cold!

I carried my bag and bought Kai a long camel-colored cashmere scarf.I eat him, drink him, and live in his place all day long, and I don't feel ashamed if I don't meet people anymore.

Take a taxi home and bid farewell to this place one by one. If it is possible, if it is far away, it will not hurt so much, I don't want to come back again.

When I got home, Kai came up to greet me: "Where have you been?" His tone was full of panic.He was probably afraid, afraid that I would change my mind just before I got on the plane.

I took out the long scarf and gave him a reassuring smile at the same time.

He looked at the things I bought, "I have prepared these things, you are with me, you don't need to worry about anything, I will take care of you."

But I don't want to live a good life being taken care of by others, I just want to be taken good care of by An Feifei. Once I leave him, I feel that nothing is right, nothing is right, everything is wrong.

I put the scarf around him and said a few words with my mouth: "Thank you."

He could feel it, he looked into my eyes, and grabbed my arm that was wrapping his scarf: "Needless to say thank you, I know you have something on your mind, and you can't let it go for a while.

But I will wait for you, and thank you.Because of your appearance, I realized how beautiful, fulfilling and happy it is to have someone in my heart who loves me.

Some bad things have become tolerable because of you. "Take me in your arms.

It turns out that everyone's feeling of loving others is different. Is my love too selfish?To love each other also requires the other to love oneself.Make yourself so miserable.

It is because he is full of hope for love now that he feels that love is so beautiful.