Male heart trembling

Our rhythm of life has changed again. From Monday to Friday is the time when Mr. Tang and I have a deep relationship, and on weekends, he is going to play with Ms. Zhao, and I have to do a show with Ms. Xu.

There always seem to be stories on weekends. In the years when I was completely reduced to Mr. Tang’s plaything, I would always meet him in one place every weekend, do some physical fusion, and do my best to give him the greatest pleasure , and I can get a lot of money while enjoying the same happiness.

But now, it is still the weekend, but we are separated from each other, like two more and more proficient actors, wearing their own masks, welcoming their own women.

I have never seen how Ms. Zhao cooperates with being gentle and considerate in front of Mr. Tang, and the same Mr. Tang has never seen how Ms. Xu and I have a campus love in front of people.We chose to avoid it tacitly, because although everyone knew it well, seeing each other loving each other, don't say I was unhappy, even Mr. Tang, who had seen the world, was not happy.

So when this matter gradually developed into a normal state, we tacitly chose to avoid this topic, and only depended on each other in each other's lives, daily necessities, extravagance and indulgence, and doing things that made us both feel comfortable, happy and at ease.

That night, Mr. Tang held me in his arms with great interest, stroked my hand gently and said: "The other day you said that you were happy with Miss Xu because you were finally able to help me. I'm glad you can say that."

"I have always hoped that I can help you, not just in life. Although I am a man with little ability, I still hope to help you in more meaningful ways."

After I finished saying this, Mr. Tang didn't offer his heartfelt words immediately, nor sweet words. Instead, he leaned his face against my body and said for a long time, "He said what you said before."

I understand that the so-called "he" refers to Mr. Tang's previous boyfriend. I only saw him in photos. He was a handsome guy who was the same type as me. Adorable and stubborn.However, this is what he looked like before he was swallowed by money. As for how hysterical he was afterwards, I only heard about it, but I didn't see it with my own eyes.

I asked in a low voice, "He said it too? Then?"

"Speaking out of selfishness, I hope that you just take care of my life and stay by my side." Mr. Tang said: "It was only later that I gradually discovered that you both longed for success in your career, instead of being treated like a housewife. Buried in the family. I thought I'd dry you in bed, give you enough financially and you'd be happy, but that's not the case."

I smiled, turned around to face Mr. Tang, and said, "Of course it's not that simple. You dry me up, you give me money, but in the end it still can't erase people's desire for self-worth. Although I I love you, although being fucked by you is very enjoyable, although you can buy everything that this city sells to the outside world with your money, but from the very beginning I was thinking, even longing, that one day I can become a valuable person. You can reach out when you are in trouble.”

"Have you really thought about it that way?" Mr. Tang was even a little excited.I nodded fiercely, he touched my face, kissed my face that satisfied him, and said: "He wanted to start a business, and I spent a lot of money to build him a coffee shop." , but never made any money. Of course it’s nothing, as long as he’s happy. But this cafe has become a microcosm of his desire expansion process, his mentality changed, and he began to desire more from me Matter, and never ending."

I leaned against his neck and whispered, "I don't want anything."

Mr. Tang smiled bitterly and said: "It is because he and everyone before him had excessive desire for money and material things that we could only part ways in the end. So I hope you can take care of me in life, not Thinking about what you have and what you don’t have. Of course, I feel selfish when I say this, but I will definitely not reduce my contribution to you. It’s a pity that things always backfire.”

"Don't worry, I really don't want anything." I said, "I will study hard, find a serious job to hone myself, seek real skills, and then come to help you instead of you doing it." ...to do what they did."

These sweet words, these words that seem to be flattering, all come from my sincerity.I used to think about my future every lonely night. I don’t want to be a person who has been taken care of all the time. I long to be a partner in the true sense. The only way to do all this is to make myself an independent personality. People have their own work, their own abilities, and their own emotions.

However, when I told Mr. Tang these ideas for the first time, I still felt very sweet, as if I was expressing my determination.But Mr. Tang didn't think there was anything wrong with such words. He held me tightly in his arms and said, "What kind of fruit did I cultivate to get such an obedient person like you?"

I feel like I think this not because I'm good, but because of the most basic responsibility of a man.Maybe my acquaintance with Mr. Tang was disgraceful, and maybe the way of life I was taken care of by Mr. Tang was also disgraceful, but I believe that as long as I work hard, one day I can get rid of this curse and become a real person who can stand on the side of Tang. The man next to Mr.

Only in this way can we get along longer in the limited remaining life.