Male heart trembling

A few days before the New Year's Eve, I returned to Yantai and my hometown.Although there are not many people in this hometown who sincerely welcome me, but since I don’t need to work outside this year and don’t need to worry about my studies, I still want to go back for the most important festival of the year.

But I can sit on the sofa in the apartment by the seaside in Tianjin, put my feet on the coffee table casually, drink yogurt and watch variety shows and laugh, but I am embarrassed to eat at the coffee table at my father’s house in Yantai A melon seed on top.

As soon as I entered the apartment on the Haihe River in Tianjin, I could take off my shoes, hide my coat, remove all the shackles, walk around comfortably and drink water to quench my thirst, but I was in my mother's house in Yantai. Standing awkwardly in the hallway, I am embarrassed to walk around unless others lead me.

After the father and mother divorced, they formed their own families and formed a complete family. As their biological son, I can only be a guest of these two families.I dare not call my father Dad loudly in front of other people's wives and children, and I dare not call my mother Mom loudly in front of other people's husbands and children.

I politely appeared by their side and in their respective families, and I did not act like a spoiled child or beg for pampering from my parents after a long absence.I'm just a guest, a guest with a sensitive identity who isn't particularly welcome.

On the day of the New Year's Eve, they all have to celebrate with their respective families, and I am very sensible not to disturb them.I came to the old house, this small house that was nailed down before my grandma was alive, and it belonged to me. It was dusty and cold everywhere. Even if I could feel the warmth from my memories, it was only in my memories.

I stood in the living room and stood blankly for a long time. Mr. Tang sent me a WeChat message asking me what I was doing. I didn’t dare to chat with him by voice, because I was afraid that my wronged voice would make him worry, so I could only tell him in words, I I'm watching the Spring Festival Gala at my father's house, and I'm going to my mother's house tomorrow on the first day of the Lunar New Year.

"I can rest assured that."

Mr Tang said.

But I was standing in a room with no lights on, and my nose was filled with the smell of dampness.I called my relatives, wished them New Year's greetings, and said that I had a red envelope to give to their children.The relatives were very polite. They knew that I was very poor and that I was just a student. They didn’t want my red envelopes anyway. They only let me go to school and study hard.They spoke calmly and caringly, but none of them invited me to their home.

I don't blame these relatives, a child who doesn't even care about his parents, why bother to blame others for caring?I also understood the current situation from the helpless eyes of my parents. With the passage of time, their unhappiness because of the divorce and the indifference they vented on me have gradually disappeared.But when they felt that they should maintain the care and love that parents should give to me, they became new obstacles because of their respective families.

So on this New Year's Eve, I left the old house that belonged to me, walked into the best hotel in Yantai alone, and opened a VIP room.I chose to spend so much, just hoping to let the brightly lit room dispel the grievance, loss and sadness in my heart.

I want to appear in the top suite, and I want to wrap my fragile self in luxury. Only in this way can I remember the fact that I was supported by Mr. Tang. Only in this way can I know that there is a brother Wu who loves me so much by my side.

From the first to the fifth day of junior high school, although my parents occasionally called me to ask me where I was and what I was doing, they never invited me to their home again. From their tone, I could feel that my presence had brought a new feeling to their new family. Here comes trouble.

But on the morning of the sixth day, first my father called and asked me to meet alone, and then my mother called and wanted to meet alone. I happily went to the appointment and went to the appointment with them separately.They gave me a sum of money, although not as much as Mr. Tang, but it is enough for next year's tuition and living expenses.

This is their private money, right?I secretly wondered.

Looking at the backs of them leaving, I finally faced the reality that my parents are not entirely my own parents, and even in competing for family affection with those half-parents or half-parents, I only occupy a small part .

We can only meet like thieves, get their support like thieves, and say a few words of concern like thieves.Everything is like a thief.But they are clearly my biological parents.

On the night of the sixth day, I finally couldn't bear the grievance and sadness in my heart, so I called Mr. Tang, and I burst into tears when I heard his "Hello".

I told Mr. Tang that I only went to my parents' house for less than an hour, and spent the rest of the time alone.

Mr. Tang asked me how I lived alone, and I said that I lived in a hotel that cost 2988 a day, and had a buffet that cost 298.Mr. Tang didn't say anything, he didn't care about the money, but asked again, why didn't he tell him the truth earlier.

I whispered: "I don't want you to feel that I was abandoned by my parents, and I don't want you to feel how wronged you are this New Year."

Mr. Tang paused for a moment, then said: "You really don't make people worry. You've won if you love me to death, right? I still have social engagements. Go to bed late today and wait for my call."

I asked in a low voice, "What are you doing?"

Mr. Tang said furiously: "If I don't hold you in my arms, can you relieve my heartache? If I don't hold you in my arms, besides being wronged outside, what else can you do to make a face?" ? Don't sleep at night, wait for my call, if you dare not answer, don't come back!"

After all, he hung up the phone. Although he was fierce, he was so reliable and warm.