Meet·Lijiang

When I returned to this city again, I wanted to get an answer with a tolerant question, but what this city gave me was still a gray silence.Vulgar people are still vulgar, and I know that the world does not become brighter because of my transformation.She said that people should live in the present, because living in the present is living in the future, so although I can't make the whole world bright, I can make my life happy.

-------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------- --After Zhuang Sheng's travel notes were turned into a strange topic, it took a while before Zhuang Zijing calmed down and continued: "What I want to say is that now, my dependence on you suddenly reminds me of my dependence on Yan Yu back then. I was a little scared and felt a little unreal. Just like when I knew my life experience, I just wanted to find you quickly, just like at this moment, when I return to this city, because I have you, I don’t feel too sad.”

Yang thought about it, and then said seriously: "Actually, when a person falls into the water, it's good to make that piece of wood. Maybe this piece of wood can't be regarded as love, but love should be a piece of wood at this time."

Zhuang Zijing looked at Yang Hui: "Do you really want to make that piece of wood?"

"I'm just a little regretful that I didn't have the opportunity to make that piece of wood when you needed it so much." Yang Hui's voice was a little affectionate.

"Aren't you afraid that when you go ashore, the plank won't be as important as it was in the water?"

Yang Hui shook his head: "I am only afraid that when you are drowning and need a plank, I will not be able to become a plank. I once said that love does not need to worry about whether it will grow old together from the beginning, because the worry itself is keeping away from growing old together. This result. The love that can really go to the end should not be afraid of giving. In fact, even if it fails, at least there will be no regrets. And I think the last thing in love is not to break up, but to regret.”

Zhuang Zijing nodded: "Yes, that's what you said about living in the moment."

The driver didn't interrupt again, but the two of them didn't continue the conversation. When the taxi entered an alley, Zhuang Zijing said softly, "We're almost there."

Then there was silence.

The taxi stopped at the entrance of the community, and Zhuang Zijing and Yang Hui got out of the car. This is an old community, although it looks a bit dilapidated because of its age, it is still expensive because it is in the center of the city.

Zhuang Zijing looked up at the creeper that had already climbed up the wall and said to Yang Hui: "All the savings and investment income of the first three years of my work have been used in this house. Before that, we rented next to the community. In a small three-story building of a nail household, because it is a nail household, sometimes there will be power outages and water cuts, but the rent is very cheap. And Mo Shu’s family lives in this community, so when I have some money, I use it in this community I bought a second-hand house with a mortgage and put my mother’s name on it. This is my mother’s greatest wish, because in this way she feels that she and Moshu’s family are on the same platform and will not be looked down upon.”

Yang Hui looked at those creepers with only a few residual leaves in the autumn and felt a little bored: "It is really sad to live in the opinion of others like this."

"Yes, sad." Zhuang Zijing said softly.Looking at this community, she felt a lot of emotion in her heart. She had put in a lot of painstaking efforts here, and she once made herself think that she saw hope—Zhuang Zijing once tried to understand her mother's thinking, and came to the conclusion that when life is entangled by poverty, dignity is Conclusions that go nowhere.So when she used up all her savings to buy a house here so that her mother, like her poker friends, could enter and exit a regular residential area without worrying about water and electricity cuts, she thought that the whole world would turn in a good direction develop.

Including the almost broken family relationship.

It’s just that I didn’t expect that my act of working so hard for the whole family would be translated by Li Feng as: Zhuang Zijing is a rich man, and Zhuang Zijing is very capable of earning money. Zhuang Zijing can buy a house in three years, so of course she has more money to take Come out to spend.

Therefore, all the good beginnings turned out to be the cause of pain again.

Zhuang Zijing sighed softly.Perhaps only a sigh can sum up these unspeakable pasts.

The community is not big, the two of them had just entered the gate of the community when they heard Li Feng's voice unexpectedly.

On the ground floor of the community, a family converted their house into a mahjong parlor. This is the place where Li Feng played cards with his neighbors. Zhuang Zijing and Yang Hui stood outside the mahjong parlor, listening to the noise of the players and the collision of mahjong. and Li Feng’s vulgar and piercing voice: “She has long since disowned me as an old woman. This time I went over and dismissed me like a beggar. I’ve raised her for so many years and she still remembers a fart. Now that I’ve found her What am I if I lost the parents who gave birth to her and found a rich family? If I had known that it would be better to have a dog, maybe I would still be grateful for my kindness in feeding me every day.”

Yang Hui frowned when he heard the voice.Looking sideways at Zhuang Zijing, there was a hint of bitterness in her confused expression.

Li Feng's voice continued to come from inside: "What is 20 yuan? Back then, I didn't throw her to the side of the road to feed the dogs. The kindness was more than 20 yuan. It wasn't born by me. Before he died, that dead ghost told me that he must If I want to raise her, I must treat her well. Am I not treating her well? I didn’t starve her and chill her. Let her study, and I didn’t say that I would let her go out to work to earn money at a young age. If it wasn’t this time I made an agreement with Zixuan in advance, can this girl be fooled so easily? She has a lot of money, but she just doesn't want to take it out easily..."

Yang Hui clenched her teeth, feeling that her anger had already rushed to her forehead, she clenched one hand into a fist, and with the other she directly lifted the curtain of the mahjong parlor.

The uproar stopped suddenly, and everyone in the mahjong parlor stopped their movements within a few seconds and looked towards the door.

Yang Hui and Zhuang Zijing's eyes fell on Li Feng who was holding a piece of mahjong at this moment.

The appearance of the two of them was obviously beyond Li Feng's expectation, she opened her mouth slightly, obviously not ready for what to do next.Looking at the two people who appeared suddenly, and seeing the angry look on Yang Hui's face, Li Feng knew that what he said just now had been heard by these two people.

The people around, after understanding the current situation in an instant, looked at Li Feng and Zhuang Zijing with various eyes - some were gloating, some were looking at the good show, and some were a little regretful.

Yang Hui clenched his fists tightly and took a step towards Li Feng, her face was full of anger.And when she took the next step, Zhuang Zijing grabbed her hand.Then Yang Hui heard a somewhat hoarse and broken voice: "Let's go back."

"Go back?" Yang Hui frowned, not understanding what Zhuang Zijing meant.Originally, he was going to visit Li Feng and wanted to thank her for her kindness in nurturing, but Yang Hui couldn't keep calm after hearing these words. Shouldn't such a woman be punished for treating someone she likes like this?Shouldn't she see clearly how ugly she is, how disgusting and disgusting she is?Shouldn't she learn to repent and apologize?

But Zhuang Zijing said back.So Yang Hui finally stopped walking towards Li Feng, and let Zhuang Zijing pull her out of the mahjong parlor, and then out of the community.

In the evening, a cold wind blew in the alley, Zhuang Zijing didn't look back at the neighborhood with ivy, but quietly left holding Yang Hui's hand.

There are many people that others cannot understand.Because they have their own logic.Yang Hui couldn't understand Li Feng, and Li Feng couldn't understand Zhuang Zijing either.In Li Feng's world, perhaps hypocrisy is more important than everything else. She can shamelessly deny everything that Zhuang Zijing has done to her, and she can find various reasons for her shameless behavior. logic alive.And using this to maintain her own logic and deny her own failure, she doesn't understand what she looks like in the eyes of others, she only knows how to establish a space of her own, and then she is full of malice towards everything.

"Therefore, there is always a reason for her pain. People who are full of malice towards this world, how can this world always tolerate it with kindness." Zhuang Zijing spoke in a low voice, more like talking to herself.

Yang Hui didn't reply, she was still angry.

Zhuang Zijing stretched out her hand to pull Yang Hui's collar: "Let's find a place to live and return to Lijiang tomorrow."

Yang Hui's voice was hoarse: "Okay."

After dinner, settled down in the hotel, it was already night.Zhuang Zijing sat in front of the window of the guest room, her eyes didn't know which corner of the city she fell on.Yang Hui sat beside her quietly, watching the emptiness with her.

"Before I came here, I imagined a lot of possibilities to meet, and I also thought about a lot of possible things to say. I think she may regret it, because it treats me like that, and now I have no chance to ask for money from my biological parents; or she will Ingratiate me, for the benefit of the future, because I was their main source of income before, and since then, I have enough reasons and enough ability to no longer meet their needs. I have imagined her hypocrisy, imagined Her worldly..."

"But you didn't imagine her stupidity." Yang Hui said looking out the window.She heard the exhaustion and regret in Zhuang Zijing's voice. She knew that coming back to see Li Feng was an important turning point in Zhuang Zijing's life. This trip can be ended, and those nightmares that have haunted her for many years will also be dusted during this trip.

Whether it is hypocrisy or worldliness, whether it is selfishness or greed, the dust will eventually settle and you will be freed from it.But unexpectedly, this trip could not realize the original idea after all.

Zhuang Zijing sighed softly: "Not everyone can be saved. Foolishness and selfishness may have doomed a person's thinking, and no one can save it. I can't save it, and you can't save it. Even if you are from the mountain Qingsong can only infect those who know how to look at the scenery. Even if you are a bodhisattva who saves the world, you can only save people with good thoughts. So although it is a pity, there is really no need to continue. Besides, I am not a saint, how can I Saved such a rotten heart."

"It's true that she's hopeless, but I don't want to save her anymore, I want to beat her up." Yang Hui clenched his fists, his anger still lingering.

Zhuang Zijing turned her head to look at her, with a slight smile on her lips, "I always thought you were very calm and open to everything, why are you so impulsive today."

Yang Hui let out a long breath: "Because she went too far."

Zhuang Zijing stood up: "Let's go to bed, it's cold, I still like you to hug me."

Yang Hui's anger disappeared completely in Zhuang Zijing's soft words, she quickly stood up and followed Zhuang Zijing into bed.

Turn off the headlights, leaving only a dim yellow desk lamp, the whole space seems to become slow and sticky, Zhuang Zijing gently slipped into Yang Hui's arms: "I've already seen it."

Yang Hui put his arms around Zhuang Zijing, and kissed her lightly on the forehead: "I'm just angry. I think you've been bullied, and I should at least bully you back."

Zhuang Zijing buried her head on Yang Hui's neck and chuckled lightly: "I wouldn't be really happy if I was bullied back, so why bother to bully me back? What I need is not to vent my anger, but to end it. Even if I didn't speak this time, I didn't The debate is right or wrong, but it is now the end. This is the end, although it is unexpected, but it is acceptable. Maybe she and I are not from the same world. A stupid and selfish person naturally has the life she should have. And I should also have my life. She no longer kidnaps me, and I no longer care about her, that's good. So you don't have to be angry, a scene ends, although it is a bit unexpected, but it is a serious drama. In fact, think about it, Even if we really met and sat down to talk, a person like her would certainly not cry and regret, even if she did, it would not be her heart. And we are not saviors, and we cannot be saviors."

Yang Hui understood what Zhuang Zijing meant, and the unbearable anger finally dissipated. She hugged Zhuang Zijing lovingly, and said softly, "You are right, we are not the saviors of the world. We cannot save the souls who have already gone to hell. Everyone has their own life, and they should be responsible for their own life. Different paths do not seek each other, so even if fate has brought you together for more than 20 years, people who are not on the same path really do not have much basis to sit down and talk. So it’s fine now, let’s end it like this. Because of her stupidity and selfishness, she lost your possible help to her in the future, and also lost the interests she wanted most. This may be her fate. Your own punishment. And you, because of your kindness and nostalgia, once again clearly see that she is different from you, so you can end it, you can let it go, this may be your own reward to yourself. "

Listening to Yang Hui's interpretation, Zhuang Zijing smiled, yes, she returned to this city again, was so close to her again, listened to those dirty and vulgar words again, suffered once again, and then, as Yang Hui said, she got The best reward is to let go, let go from the bottom of my heart.

This is the liberation of my own life, and then I can finally be free.

Zhuang Zijing raised her head slightly, her lips lightly fell on Yang Hui's side face, her gentle and delicate kiss was small and seductive, and then her voice rang in Yang Hui's ear in a low voice, so gentle and sweet that it penetrated to the bottom of my heart: " If I'm the one who fell into the water and you're the plank, how can I convince myself that I'll still love you when I get ashore."

Yang Hui looked at the ceiling, the breathing in her ears and the delicate kisses had already made her heart beat faster, not to mention the piercing voice was even more difficult to hold back, she tried her best to restrain her impulse, but her voice was still a little trembling: " Then when I go ashore, I will know whether I am a board or a bed board."

Zhuang Zijing buried her head in Yang Hui's neck: "I want to love you, but I'm afraid there will be no ending."

"Then it's better to let me love you. I'm not afraid of no ending, because I will only make a person who is afraid of no ending be afraid to leave me."

"Where did you get your confidence all of a sudden?" Zhuang Zijing said.

"I don't have self-confidence, I only have ego. Because I want to love you, I decided to love you."

"Can love be so simple?"

"Love is not complicated."