Sparkling

He actually has a family on Xiaoshan Island.

An old house built with stones, the two ends of the eaves are raised high, like proud swallows.In front of the house is also a waist-high small wall built of stones, with flowers and grasses protruding from the cracks in the stones. When the sea breeze blows, the flowers and grasses on the wall shake together. With this shaking, many days and nights pass by. up.

This was his former home, father, mother, grandpa, grandma, and him, once squeezed together in this small home, lived happily and happily.

This home is now his own, and he, the only owner, has already abandoned the old house and headed for the bustling modern city, no longer thinking about the old stone house.

He remembered something, and hurriedly searched for it, but of course he couldn't find anything.

He didn't even have time to buy a bottle of water, so how could he carry the key to the old house with him.

"cut."

He was a little discouraged, and ran back briskly, but he didn't even have a key. Should he break through the window and enter the house?

His thoughts rose and fell with the tide all the way, and an hour passed much faster than he imagined.In a short while, you can see Xiaoshan Island from a distance.It is the same as before, although it is winter, but it is still dark green, standing far away in the sea, except for a few more windmills for wind power generation, nothing has changed, what it was in the past ten years is what it is now.

I am used to staying in the cold city in the north, but at first sight of the lush greenery in winter, I am not used to it, since this is where he grew up.

With the long whistle of the flute, the boat finally docked.

Ye Lin mixed with the crowd and got off the boat.Everyone on the island carried something more or less in their hands, but he was the only one with empty hands in his pocket, walking silently among the crowd.

The island is windy, but not cold.The scarves that are worn practically in northern cities look a bit stuffy here.He tore off the scarf and wrapped it around his hands.

The most urgent task now is to buy a glass of water, he is so thirsty that his throat is about to smoke.

There are only gray cement roads around the pier, with a few tricycles parked on it, and it is very empty as far as the eye can see, and there is no shop in sight.

He stood at the intersection hesitated.Although the island is not big, the port is still some distance away from the village, not too far away. It takes about 10 minutes to walk there.He grew up here since he was a child, but after all, he has been away for seven or eight years. When he walked, the surrounding roads were still dirt roads of dirt, sand and gravel, but now they are paved with large patches of cement, which has become strange.

Anyway, just walk around.

He took a step and walked leisurely.I bought a bottle of water from a small vendor at the port, took a few sips to quench my thirst, and hooked the remaining half of the bottle with two fingers, dangling beside me as I walked.

After walking a few steps, the phone in his pocket vibrated.I took it out and saw that it was a colleague.

He hesitated for a moment, suppressed the desire to hang up, and pressed the answer button.

"Hey."

The other party's voice came over, as indifferent as usual, but he could hear the suppressed impatience.

Ye Lin tightly held the phone, just hearing such an indifferent voice, his heart couldn't help shrinking.

He has become very afraid of people lately, and also very afraid of other people's impatience.But in order to maintain a connection with reality, one has to endure.

"Hey Ye Lin, where are you?"

"I..." He looked around like a fool, not knowing how to answer.

"You haven't handed in your materials yet, so I'm missing you."

The tone of the other party is already a little bad.

Ye Lin was silent for a moment, trying to be calmer as much as possible, but she still stumbled a bit when she spoke.

"I-I know."

"You know? It's all because of you. Our team's performance this month is gone again. You just say something with a shy face, you know?"

It wasn't the first time he heard such words, but he couldn't remain indifferent anyway.

He realized from the first two years that he was not suitable for the current company.

Be it personal or work.

No matter how hard I try to convince myself, I still can’t agree with the value of my current job. No matter how hard I try, I can’t like what I have to do every day. No matter how much I work overtime, there are always mistakes of one kind or another.

Being ridiculed for being naive, there are a few people who can like their work, but it's just a meal.

He also wanted to convince himself like this, but he couldn't.

Some people can do things they don't like for decades, but he can't.

During the long-term repression, this dislike gradually turned into disgust. He sincerely hated what he did here and the people he saw, but what he hated the most was himself who could not escape.

The other end of the phone began to complain sharply, and amidst repeated scolding, Ye Lin's heart sank all the way, and his expression became colder and colder.

"In short, the materials must be handed in before two o'clock in the afternoon. This is the deadline. Do you hear me?"

Ye Lin didn't make a sound.

"Hey! Where are people!"

"I'm not going back."

He came up with such a sentence without beginning or end.

"what?"

The other party was obviously stunned, as if he didn't understand.

"I'm going to resign."

There was a sneer, quite disdainful.

"Who is this set for? Anyway, if you don't show up before two o'clock in the afternoon, you will be at your own risk."

The other party seemed to be threatening, said a harsh word, and hung up the line with a click.

There was only a beeping busy tone on the phone, even this insignificant voice made Ye Lin feel cold, he felt that there might be something wrong with him.

My head hurts again, and the pain in my stomach, which has been empty since last night, also flares up at this time.

So sad.

It was so uncomfortable that I was a little unstable when I stood, but there was a sense of self-harm in my heart.

He was not in a hurry to buy some medicine, or to eat.It's just that he moved away from the already heavy steps as if he was drunk, while feeling more and more obvious pain.

He was walking on the endless path around the island, the pain in his body made his heart loose first, he gave up the promenade he didn't know when to go, and stepped into the grassy slope next to him indiscriminately.

The grassy slope was a little high, so he had to use both hands and feet to climb up crookedly.Once he bent down, his eyes darkened suddenly. He felt like a dirty phone screen with only [-]% battery left, but his consciousness still refused to leave.While he staggered to the point of almost falling, he hung on to the last bit of consciousness, refusing to faint.

Let yourself fall, fall.While falling, he opened his eyes to see the darkness around him clearly.

After countless tired nights, when he finally turned off the computer in the office and dragged his heavy body back home, he was actually secretly looking forward to the critical point of collapse. It's good to kill life.

That tipping point came quietly.

Maybe it was because he was already dizzy from working overtime for days, or maybe it was because the wind on the way home was too cold, which gave him a headache. He just buried his face in the scarf, avoiding the cold wind that stabbed his face like a knife , has used up all his energy.

Walking home with difficulty, he couldn't move anything in his head, he just wanted to get into the bed desperately, bury his head to the deepest part, close his eyes and have a deep sleep.

The moment he opened the door, he knew that this wish had come true.

A smell of smoke that had been stagnated all night filled the room, stronger than the day before.This time, it was also mixed with the smell of cold food residue, which rushed out the moment the door was opened, making him want to vomit immediately.

Fortunately, there was nothing in his stomach to throw up.

He turned his head sideways and covered his mouth and nose with his arms, feeling a little uncomfortable in his stomach.

The room was empty, there was no one there, only the orange night light was on lonely.The ground was in a mess, with scattered clothes, kicked shoes, scraps of paper, and black scratches made by cigarette butts rubbing directly on the ground.

He stepped into the house without taking off his shoes, and the iron door slammed shut behind him, making it harsh and unpleasant.

There was no sign of anyone in the room, and the roommate probably went out.The current roommate is a nocturnal creature, the main activity time is from [-]:[-] pm to the early morning, sometimes going out, sometimes at home.The two people's schedules are perfectly staggered, and they don't see each other a few times a week.

There was a surge of anger in Ye Lin's heart. He is not a very outgoing person and would not initiate conflicts with others, but if his roommate was here, he might tear off his usual polite face and talk to him. Regardless of the big fight.

But no one, no one shares his joy, no one knows his tiredness, and even his anger can only be digested by himself.Standing in the middle of the living room, he suddenly felt very lonely and sad.

I went to the table and poured myself a glass of water, it was cool, and drank it down in one gulp, feeling sad for myself who could only calm down like this.

No matter how sad it was, it didn't help. The sadness in my heart aggravated the sadness in my body, and my head hurt more and more from the cold wind.

He doesn't really hate headaches.

Pain is one thing, but there is a masochistic pleasure.It seems that the more painful it is, the happier it is in my heart.Only when he has a headache, he can shout out the pain unscrupulously, no matter how hard he frowns, no matter how much he curls up into a ball, it is only natural and above board.

The headache gave him that privilege.

The pain oppressed him, and he couldn't control the direction of travel.Like a drunk man, he couldn't see the way in front of him clearly, he staggered into his room crookedly, couldn't hold the door, he fumbled for the doorknob, flung it back forcefully, there was a "bang", abruptly ringing in the dead of night.

When he was alone, he could ignore it, tear off the scarf almost roughly, and pull off the coat and sweater in one piece. His wrist lost strength, and the clothes just slipped from his hands, and he didn't care what posture he laid on the ground. I couldn't control it anymore, and almost crawled into the bed on my stomach.

The moment his eyelids were pressed down, he almost lost consciousness immediately and fell asleep like a coma.I don't know how long it took, maybe an hour, maybe two hours, the music with a strong rhythm in his ears gradually became clear, almost breaking through the uncomfortable dream, beating his head like a drum.

He was like a person trapped under the ice, feeling breathless, and when he finally opened his eyes with a big gasp, he heard his own heartbeat.

Boom, boom, boom, it was extremely strong, as if it was about to break through the chest cavity, and it jumped very fast.He had heard before that creatures with too fast heartbeat generally had a short lifespan. He lay on the bed, quietly listening to his faster and faster heartbeat, as if it was his lost life.

I fell asleep in a daze, and I don't know how long it took, the secret laughter and voices outside the door came along with the music, it should be the roommate who returned in the early morning, accompanied by the sound of hard soles stepping on the floor and stepping on dance steps.The thin door panel couldn't block the sound and light from outside, and leaked in through the gap, making him unable to escape and nowhere to hide.

He struggled to get out of bed, possibly falling again.Because at the end of consciousness, I heard a "boom", but it may not be, because I don't feel pain.

He didn't know much about what happened after that, and when he regained a clear consciousness, he was already on the train to the hill, awakened by the morning sun, as if everything last night was an illusion.