[Misawa] Dear Mr. Fox

It was as brief as the shower that night. Before the sun rose, it turned into water vapor and hurriedly rose and left under the gaze of the morning star.New York is still hot, Manhattan in the morning is the same as before, the traffic on Seventh Avenue is busy, and the lame pigeons take off and land at the feet of pedestrians.The Empire State Building does not seem to be as dazzling during the day as it is at night.Before returning to the team that day, Sawamura still spared a little time to run to the observation deck at the top of the Empire State Building alone under the scorching sun.He mingled among a group of Chinese tourists and followed them to the railing with the best view.The wind was strong, and the sound on the ground became distant, like the quiet breathing of the city.Farther away, the sun paved a layer on the calm sea of ​​New York Bay like a silvery snowfield.The broken light fell into his pupils, causing Sawamura to blink continuously. After a long time, the corners of his eyes were still red, and the tears could not be stopped no matter what.

How nice it would be to cry out cleanly.Things that were great when I was a teenager seem impossible to do now.

For example, when I heard Miyuki whispering farewell in the twilight of waking up from a dream, I grabbed his wrist desperately.you don't go.

For example, say to him as you did on the field:

Believe me.Come rely on me.Tell me about you, and how you feel.I don't have any reservations about you either.

But that was while he was still a junior and a pitcher.The best partner.Was that sentence, that word, that beautiful fate that first brought their worlds together, a blessing or a curse?What is Miyuki, who is no longer a catcher, to him?Former partners, teammates, seniors, alumni, framed by the old time, only exist in any ambiguous fragment of memory?

Sawamura raised his head and patted his cheek.Whatever was blurring his eyes was fine, and everything was blown away by the wind.The cascading skyscrapers have a panoramic view.The scene before me was real, on a lonely high place, like being on a pitcher's mound.Underneath is the earth and the abyss.The wilderness of the empty blue sky is almost within reach, and the whole world is visible as far as the eye can see.

He is here, always related to Miyuki.

But that's all.

Miyuki is not here long ago, will not come back, has no reason, and has no obligation to stay for him.

Thinking of this, the hand that was about to reach out froze in place, allowing the guy to escape.

Like a fox that never belonged to anyone, he knows the price of being tamed.

The satchel dropped by him at the subway station yesterday was picked up by his teammates.He took his luggage from Chris, took the bus with everyone to the airport, and prepared to return to Chicago. The always noisy pitcher was uncharacteristically depressed during this not-so-long journey, sitting by the window, bowing his head from time to time, Sometimes I look out the window.Sitting next to him, Chris seemed to hesitate for a while before deciding to speak.

Earlier, I received a call from Miyuki.

The apprentice turned his head and looked at him blankly, with a natural calmness in that surprised expression.

What did he say?

He apologized to me.Also please let me convey his apology to you.I said that the two of them were impulsive last night, but Sawamura is a public figure after all, let me remind you that you should pay more attention to your own life style in the future, even if it is a trivial matter, it is not good to be caught and hyped by the paparazzi.

Sawamura listened, the corners of his mouth turned up stiffly, and finally he couldn't help laughing dryly.Laughing sounds like crying.

what is this?Obviously, I have been away from baseball for so long.Still so annoying.Say what you think is right.I thought it would be good to take everything on myself, and I was done.

Among other things, I agree with this last point.

After listening to him, Chris added slowly.

Miyuki always likes to think about things alone.When I was in high school, whenever he took the initiative to come to me to discuss your problems, I was a little happy.But looking back now, I feel a little sad. Why didn't he tell you directly?

But at that time, maybe until now, Miyuki has been watching you.

Sawamura cannot excuse himself like a benevolent elder: impulsiveness is the prerogative of youth.A shallow, fragile, and indulgent physical relationship actually made him and Miyuki more alienated, making their parting a matter of course, and perfunctorily taking the difficult but necessary communication and thinking, and refusing to tear apart the flesh and blood connection to explore the secrets of each other, the accumulated years of heavy years, the tenderness and lies under the dust, the truth and the pain.In the end, apart from Naya Miyuki's gloomy dark brown eyes after taking off his glasses, the scorching heat spreading on his skin, and the sound of his heart beating—other than that, he still has nothing for this person. known.

If anything is left, it is a small ring lying in the pocket of the sweatpants at the moment.The pendant, which was originally hung on a slender silver chain, was still around Miyuki's neck yesterday, and when he raised his hand to take off his shirt, it fell impartially between his collarbones.A translucent elf lives on the surface of the marble statue.He could see God.Yu Xing bent down to press on him, and the ring also hung idly on his chest, and the coldness reached his heart for a moment.Subconsciously, Sawamura reached out and grabbed the pendant.

this one?

Miyuki narrowed his eyes and smiled mysteriously.It is like an ambiguous and uncapturable spot of light sliding across the surface of a thin metal ring.

A gift that could not be sent out, so I had to wear it myself.

How cowardly!It's rare that Miyuki is so cowardly.Obviously, the number of girls who cheered you up or sent you love letters in high school is countless.Ah, if I have to say, I smell of perfume now, and I can tell that there is never a shortage of women around me at a glance, or how can I develop a bad habit of messing around after drinking?

(Although, I took the initiative first.)

Is Sawamura-san jealous?

He snorted, shook his head, accidentally avoided Miyuki's kiss, and his hair brushed against the other's cheekbones.Unsent gifts?How is it possible, he wandered away for a while, trying to figure out the story behind the ring pendant.The simple and exquisite decoration is so suitable for this person. Who is it that is full of apprehension and courage, deep and unrepentant feelings, lingering for a long time under the dazzling spotlight of the glass counter, like finally finding a small star in a sea of ​​sand? Gold grains—treasures that exist only for him, like some innate part of his body that belongs to his flesh and bones.

No matter what kind of story it is, it has nothing to do with him, Eijun Sawamura, not even a spectator.

But the next morning, in the well-organized and empty room, he suddenly found the ring pendant that should have left with that person.It probably fell off accidentally during the intense action last night.The silver metal ring was left on the plain white quilt, and in the dim natural light of the room, it lost the shocking and moving light.

After all, it's that guy's important thing, so it's not easy to just throw it away. Give it back to him next time.Is there a next time?

Whatever.

With an attitude of relieving hatred or playing a prank, Sawamura put the ring on his ring finger.

That's weird, just right.

Walking out of the lobby of O'Hare Airport, I finally felt a little sense of return.Before the dissolution, the coach issued a new training schedule.What follows is the last sprint of the marathon-like long season. Whether he can win to the end and participate in the World Series depends on his performance in the next month.The next game will be in a few days, and the head coach specially told him to adjust his state, and after the evening training, he went to the indoor batting range to throw it to the batters.The implication is to consider letting him start next time.Sawamura froze for a while, then nodded, his calm reaction surprised every teammate except Chris.The tall foreigner rubbed his head, what's the matter, haven't you been clamoring to start the game?That's right.Lost your soul on top of the Empire State Building and can't come back?of course not.The game that was successfully won in the away game yesterday, the neon lights of the metropolis at night, the Empire State Building, the brief intersection with someone, the quiet Japanese tavern, the illusion and tenderness for a moment, a dream that cannot be returned, the ring pendant.Sawamura knew he had said goodbye to all of this, the moment the tidal breath of Lake Michigan flooded his nostrils; it was much more reassuring than the heat-laden sea breeze of New York Bay.despite this.

But here, something is missing.

Something is missing.