amber affair

Gently parting his blood-stained lips, he said softly, "Before you leave, tell me, I'll see you off."

Why don't you just keep me?If you keep me, I will definitely not leave, but why don't you keep me, Sanada-senpai?Mom said that you like me, and you will be reluctant to part with me, but why don't you say anything?

Lowering his eyes in disappointment, his thick eyelashes trembling slightly, Ryoma said softly: "After returning to the United States, I will take AP. I promised you the four Grand Slam trophies, and I will definitely get them."

"Then, just keep working hard." The corners of his lips raised slightly, and a trace of bitterness flashed in his deep and condensed black eyes. Sanada hurriedly closed his eyes to prevent his painful expression from being seen by him.

Yes, you are destined to embark on the path of a professional player. I have known this for a long time.Therefore, I can't give you anything except to let you go and bless you.

I like you, Echizen.But this liking is wrong.You are destined to stand at the top of the world's tennis world, and you are destined to be watched by the whole world. I can't keep you selfishly, and I can't bind you with feelings that shouldn't be there.

So, I will never tell you that I like you.

(43)

It seems that there are only the last three months of this deep-rooted love; it seems that after these three months, one of them will go left, the other will go right, and gradually drift away.

From the moment when the countdown to separation started, Sanada let himself go and walked through the mountains and rivers of his hometown with this little wild cat who would definitely come to Kanagawa to report every Sunday.Let him remember this place called hometown, remember this love that will be buried deep in his memory, remember that there was such a person who liked him so deeply.

This love will not be forgotten with the passage of time, it will only go deep into the bone marrow, turning into a painful and bloody wound when touched.This love, apart from never saying I like you, Sanada gave everything to this kitten who disturbed his peaceful life.

Like the past few weekends, Sanada did not choose the many famous tourist attractions in Kanagawa, but took Ryoma away from the hustle and bustle of the flashy city, and wandered casually in remote mountain villages.

They are not people who like to be lively, so the mountains and fields that seem to go back in time can make each other feel calm physically and mentally, but it also adds a little bit of parting sorrow.

"Are you tired? Do you want to take a break?" Parked on a quiet street corner, looking at a small shop selling matcha not far away, Sanada looked down at the rare and well-behaved boy beside him, with a touch of pampering lingering in his deep voice.

Blinking his bright cat eyes that were as clear as water, Ryoma tilted his head and thought for a while, then hooked his lips into a smile: "If Sanada-senpai is tired, go over there and have a cup of tea." The unique young and hoarse voice is as proud as ever, fair-skinned Gently holding Sanada's wrist with his small hand, Ryoma walked quickly towards the destination.

Ordered two cups of homemade matcha from the simple shop, and a plate of delicate and lovely refreshments. Sanada sat in a secluded corner of the shop, staring at the petite boy who was sipping tea, his eyes filled with nostalgia.

"It's delicious." The fragrance of matcha flowed between his lips and teeth, picking up a hint of sweetness, making Ryoma squint his cat's eyes in satisfaction.Picking up a piece of round tea, tasting the soft and sweet taste, he blinked at Sanada and urged softly: "Didn't you say you are thirsty, why don't you drink?"

There was a slight smile on the corner of his lips, and the dimples softened his handsome face. Sanada stretched out his hand, and gently wiped away the food crumbs on the boy's lips with his rough fingertips, and said in a low voice: "Wait a minute to go down the mountain. Take a look at the temple, okay?"

Wrinkling his straight and small bridge of nose, staring at Sanada who had no intention of drinking tea, Ryoma simply picked up the tea bowl and handed it to his slightly smiling lips, and murmured with a smile: "Hey, drink tea, it's delicious."

Covering the white and slender fingers with the palm of his hand, he took a sip from the side of the snow-white porcelain bowl, and the fragrance in his mouth made Sanada sigh comfortably.The black eyes gently stared at the boy who opened his cat eyes and looked at him expectantly. He smiled: "It's really delicious, much better than Fanta."

"Cut! You are still far away, Sanada-senpai." Frowning his delicate eyebrows and glaring at Sanada angrily, Ryoma proudly cast a provocative glance, his fingers gently rubbed the rough palm, feeling a little itchy Make your heart full.Sanada-senpai still has a long way to go if he wants him to give up on Fanta.

After drinking tea, he had enough rest. With the kitten's cute expression still full of desire, he packed refreshments to the shopkeeper. Sanada held his slender hand and continued the unfinished journey.

I missed the season when the cherry blossoms are flying, and there are still towering spruces to see in the silent mountains and forests. This journey is not boring.Occasionally chatting for a few words, commenting on the natural and beautiful scenery around me, I have reached the temple on the top of the mountain before I know it.

Perhaps because of the location on the top of the mountain, there are almost no tourists in the quaint temple, only an old monk sitting drowsy in the warm autumn sun.Hearing the sound of footsteps, he opened his eyes slightly, staring at the two teenagers who came with him, and a tolerant and tolerant smile flashed across his eyes that had experienced everything in the world.

"Excuse me, we just want to take a casual tour, won't it be inconvenient?" Sanada bowed politely to the old monk, maintaining his usual cold and serious expression, and asked softly.

Smiling slightly, the old monk waved his hand casually and said, "Don't be too restrained, you can do whatever you want. However, I have a request. After the tour, please come and talk to me, young man. You know, a People live here, and it’s rare to have someone to talk to.”

Although puzzled, Sanada politely agreed, and then left with Ryoma.

The temple is small, and despite their slow pace, Sanada and Ryoma make a quick turn around it.Taking advantage of Ryoma's time to go to the bathroom, Sanada slowly walked towards the vestibule and came to the old monk who was still sitting under the eaves.

"It's hard to see a child as calm as you now, young man." The wise eyes smiled, looking at Sanada's condensed and handsome face, the old monk sat up straight, and said with a light smile: "You have something on your mind, because Is that the cat-like child just now?"

A hint of doubt flashed across his black eyes, Sanada lowered his head silently, and straightened his lips.

All the worries are because of reluctance; reluctance is only because of liking.In two months, they will separate the two ends of the ocean, and then spend their lives forgetting.This feeling is doomed from the beginning; the feeling that is not recognized by the world is doomed from the beginning to be pressed in the deepest part of my heart and then forgotten.

"Is it because you like it?" Looking at Sanada's complicated and gloomy handsome face, the old monk still smiled lightly, and looked at the blue sky in a blink of an eye. "You like that child, and you feel that this liking is wrong, don't you?"

Raising his head suddenly, his black eyes stared at the old monk's old face in astonishment, the corners of Sanada's lips twitched slightly, and his breathing was a little disordered.

Already, is it so obvious?He thought he was restrained enough, and suppressed all his emotions so as not to let it show, but is it still so obvious?So, why didn't this strange monk feel the slightest bit of contempt, why wasn't he even surprised?Doesn't it make many people feel dirty and contemptible to fall in love with a boy of the same sex?

"If you like it, you like it. It has nothing to do with gender." As if to respond to Sanada's doubts, the old monk smiled lightly, his hoarse voice was so flat that there was no trace of ripple. "Or, because he's a boy like you, you're too timid to tell?"

"No." A rebuttal was squeezed out between tightly pursed lips. His deep black eyes were full of confusion and pain. Sanada buried his head deeply, and clenched his hands flat on his knees into fists.

"Then why not?"

Bitterly twitching the corners of his lips, Sanada's eyes were struggling and helpless, and he replied hoarsely: "Because I don't want to trouble him. He will return to the United States soon, and he is destined to have some achievements in the world tennis world. I You can't tie him down."

It wasn't that he was afraid that this relationship would be despised, or that he was never afraid of these gossips, the only thing he was worried about was the child.If he expresses his intentions, if one day this relationship is exposed, how the child's reputation will be hurt, he dare not think about it, and he will never do anything that will hurt the child.

Shaking his head, his wrinkled hands lightly covered Sanada's clenched fist, and the old monk smiled and sighed. "But in my opinion, the child's distress is because you refuse to speak out. Remember, young man, happiness is only in your own hands, don't let happiness slip away, and leave a lifetime of regrets."

Are you happy?How can they be happy?This relationship was originally not blessed; there is no happiness in a relationship that is not blessed.He is not afraid of being slandered by rumors or despised by the world, he is just worried that the child will be hurt.

Keeping his head down in silence, Sanada's face turned pale, only breathing weakly.

"Senior Sanada?" When Ryoma returned to the atrium, what he saw was Sanada sitting beside the smiling old monk with his head bowed, his face full of pain, and he felt a slight pain in his heart.He walked forward quickly, held his handsome face with his hands, fixed his golden eyes on his blank and lost eyes, and asked, "What's wrong with you, Sanada-senpai?"

"It's nothing." Averting his eyes, taking a deep breath to calm his chaotic and painful emotions, Sanada tightly held the warm little hand next to his cheek, and whispered hoarsely: "I'm fine, Echizen. I'm just a little tired."

He looked at the smiling old monk suspiciously,