Live separately

07

The new semester begins, the busy classes start again every day, and I start to meet new teachers and new people.I tell myself to do everything with a smile every day.I don't smoke anymore, and I don't drink much alcohol.I seem to be back to my most normal college life.Occasionally participate in some school activities, volunteer, no longer exist for his arrival on weekends, hang out with roommates from time to time, sing, watch movies, and the time passes happily.I just didn't expect Cheng Qing to sing so well, Liu Mingkang to be so nagging, and I missed so much.How silly of me not to understand my own life for the past year and a half for the sake of one person.I began to understand the meaning of separation.

I keep myself fully busy, even the weekends are full, and now I automatically ignore the once-a-half-monthly thing about going home.Therefore, my mother often called to complain, and I felt a little guilty, but in the end I just said some words of comfort.

After a while, my mother told me on the phone that Han Duo was going to get engaged, and the time was during the May Day holiday, so I didn't forget to go back.At that time, I was a little dazed, and I didn't know what it was like in my heart. Later, I didn't understand what my mother said.I don't seem to have any excuse not to go back during the May Day holiday, but will I go back?what to do?These two questions still fill my mind.For the next few days, I tried not to think about it, but I still hesitated.Later, I decided to go back because of a phone call, his phone.

"..." Looking at the familiar number, I finally got through after a long time, but there was silence, there was no sound on the phone, and I didn't speak.After a long time, the unbearable silence was suffocating.

"What's the matter?" "Yuyang..." Unexpectedly, the two chose to speak at the same time.If this kind of tacit understanding made me smile before, but now it is just embarrassment.

"Go ahead." I tried my best to look calm, but my voice still trembled unconsciously.

"You... called me some time ago?" After holding back for a long time, he actually asked such a stupid question, some time ago?It was already a month ago, and it was hard for him to remember. "It's nothing, I made a wrong call that day." I just want to end this conversation.

"Hmm," he responded softly, and fell silent again.

I'm really annoyed, I've worked so hard for so long, I hypnotize myself every day, I tell myself that a person is good every day, I thought my hypnosis was about to be effective, I thought I had really let go, but he came again easily of disrupting my life.

"Hang up if there's nothing to do." I was angry and wanted to hang up immediately.

"Yuyang..." He stopped me again, so gentle and cruel, "I'm getting engaged."

"I know." I said coldly.

"Will you come? I still hope you can be there."

I don't know why he is so cruel, and wants to let my heart accept Ling Chi so nakedly.

"I can't be at ease if you don't come." He said again.

I have never found him so selfish, so cowardly, and I feel sympathetic to him in my heart.After another moment of silence, I answered and hung up the phone.

The day before the engagement, my mother told me to go home early, and I complied. I could only make up my mind to spend an afternoon on the bus, but I didn't expect him to come and wait for me at the door early.I don't know whether I should be moved or sad, as the protagonist of the engagement, he must be very busy, and it is rare for him to be free these days, but this person just appeared here and specially came to pick me up to attend his important life event.As a brother, a friend, but no longer a lover.

When I walked to the door of the dormitory building and saw him beside the car, I didn't speak or move. I looked at that man with too many thoughts.He hesitated, but walked towards him slowly.He smiled and opened the co-pilot's door for me. Looking at his movements and eyes, I suddenly became frightened.I remembered a dream.

In the dream, it was also on such a sunny day, and also in such an afternoon, with the same action, he drove me in the car, and I was in that position, chatting with him, very happy.Talking and laughing along the way, when we arrived at a lake, the wide lake was sparkling in the sun, and the light spots were like diamonds scattered all over the ground. Then he kissed me, and I responded happily.Then I woke up from the dream and found myself crying.

Thinking of that dream, the steps I was about to take still changed direction, and I was suddenly afraid of that position, both afraid of what would actually happen, and also afraid that nothing would happen.Finally opened the rear door.His kindness was rejected, his eyes dimmed obviously, and his face darkened, but he got into the car anyway, didn't say anything, just started the car.He was four years older than me, but he always showed some childish emotions in front of me, often moody.This was the first time I took his car again since we broke up. I was uncharacteristically quiet, trying not to reveal any emotions.He glanced at me in the rearview mirror but never said a word.Silence all the way, torture all the way.