Shen Zicheng

"Tomorrow I will be a lost bird,

"Tomorrow's me is a leaf swaying in the wind,

"Tomorrow's me is a bee flying forward..."

Her voice is gentle and slow.

I huddled under the covers, listening to her voice, fighting with drowsiness.

The sound of the door opening suddenly rose and fell.

Her voice stopped abruptly.

The picture book was thrown in front of me, I opened my eyes and followed her out of the room.

The light and shadow coming through the door showed the shapes of two people, pushing and arguing at the same time.

I grabbed the picture book, slid off the edge of the bed to the floor, and ducked under the bed.

I spread out the picture book in front of me, and followed her to read word by word by the light that came and went.

"Tomorrow I will be a lonely and helpless kitten." I read softly.

"Tomorrow's me will be someone's tears." The picture book reads softly.

"Tomorrow I will be a shining star." My shadow read softly.

The quarrel outside the door turned into the sound of beating.

I raised my neck and looked out the door, but the shadow covered my eyes.

The shadow is humming in my ear, the voice is gentle and slow.

I slowly fell into a deep sleep.

……

Slap after slap, he grabbed my shadow and slapped it slap after slap.

I hid next to the closet and covered my ears, but I could still hear him screaming and growling like a monster.

I worry about shadows.

Tired of beating, he stopped.

The shadow fell to the ground, with its head facing this way, something was flowing on its dark face.

She pushed the door open.

Then came the next round of bickering, shoving, and beating.

I crawled up to Shadow while they were wrestling, grabbed his hand, and stole him to the closet.

Shadow huddled by the closet and covered his ears.

……

The brave got the last weapon.

The Demon King heard the sound and launched the final offensive against the brave man.

I put my hands on the keys.

I got caught by the hair.

I fell to the ground.

I crushed her favorite gypsophila cluster.

My game console fell into the sky full of stars.

I fall in my shadow.

……

There is a flower blooming over there.

A bright red flower.

Burning heat and burning pain hug each other.

I searched for him and her in the firelight.

They melt in bright red.

……

More people appeared in front of me.

They said one sentence after another, sometimes gentle and sometimes serious, I was taken from one place to another, and finally there was only someone exactly like him left in front of me.

They handed me over to him.

He took me to his home.

I saw a monster in his house.

There are two eyes, the nose and mouth are neatly arranged, and there are no protrusions and piercing broken bones on the skin.

Neat and weird monsters.

The monster held out its hand to me.

The monster said to me: "Hello, my name is Shen Qiao."

……

I can't see my face clearly.

There is only my dark shadow in the mirror.

My shadow grows bigger and bigger, and sometimes it scares me.

I tell the monster my fears.

Monsters are friendly.

Although different.

The monster told me not to be afraid, my shadow is my friend.

I have to trust my friends.

I want to trust my shadow.

The shadow in the mirror smiled at me.

……

I always hear someone talking in my ear.

In the past, I couldn't hear those inexplicable words that were intertwined.

But then those voices gradually became clearer.

It was his and her voice.

They are calling me.

They are looking for me.

I started hiding under the bed again.

Shadow leaned against me.

I covered my ears.

Shadow began to record the frequency of those voices under the bed.

……

The monster's father used to seriously ask me to be normal.

My shadow and I were at a loss.

I caressed the shadow's face, it was a black mass with no specific appearance.

But in terms of shape, it resembles a monster.

Then I might be a monster too.

But the monster's father wants me to be normal.

So I started scratching Shadow's face.

Shadow was unmoved.

But the monster found out, jumped up and grabbed my hand.

The monster is sad.

A glistening liquid fell from those glistening eyes.

With a crying voice, he asked me not to do this.

He saved Shadow.

I suddenly feel very sad.

……

I began to imitate the behavior of the monster.

I'm like a bad silk doll.

In this way, the monster's father seldom yelled at me anymore.

But in this way, other people also gradually turned into monster shapes.

Yet no one wants them to be normal.

I am confused.

Am I the only one who is abnormal?

……

Everyone becomes a shadow.

It has the shape of a monster, and a dark face.

But Shen Qiao is still Shen Qiao.

Shen Qiao has a beautiful smile.

He often smiles at me.

Also often smile at the shadow.

Maybe smile at the shadow more often.

I can't tell.

Shen Qiao called me Cheng.

Also known as Shadow Cheng.

So sometimes I can't tell whether he is calling me or shadow.

But I think Ah Cheng should only have one.

There can only be one.

I want to compete with Shadow.

But Shadow looked at me for a long time, and then smiled.

……

Shadow fell silent.

It stopped talking to Shen Qiao, and always stayed beside it quietly, just like the first time I saw it.

But Shen Qiao will talk to me.

Shadow doesn't speak, so I have to answer him.

But I'm not as clever as Shadow.

Always stumbling.

So Shen Qiao would occasionally say to me: "Ah Cheng, you seem a little... different?"

I panicked from this.

Did he see my little tricks?

Isn't it me that he wants Ah Cheng?

Shouldn't Ah Cheng be me?

Am I not Cheng?

Shadow smiled.

……

I lost to my shadow.

Shen Qiao is happier facing it than facing me.

I lost to Shadow.

I lost to Ah Cheng.

I am very depressed.

Also very angry.

I grabbed the shadow and slammed it to the ground.

Shen Qiao stopped me, hugged my arm and yelled at me loudly.

Shadow was indifferent, always wearing the same smile as Shen Qiao on his face.

I am very depressed.

It was as if a piece of his chest had been gouged out.

I don't understand why it's Ah Cheng.

Is it because I'm abnormal?

I felt itchy on my face, so I reached out and wiped it, and wiped off the shiny liquid.

I looked up at Shen Qiao, there was a shadow reflected in those beautiful eyes.

I looked at the shadow again, and that dark face slowly took shape.

my shape.

It won.

……

I know I can't beat Shadow.

It is kinder than me, and gentler than me.

It helped me a lot, it always took the beatings for me, and it always stayed with me when I was hiding under the bed.

So I like it.

Shen Qiao is also very friendly.

He never disliked me, taught me how to talk to people, taught me how to behave like a normal person.

So I like him too.

So if he likes it more, I should obediently step aside.

……?

I still don't want to.

But I began to lose control of my shadow.

The shadow is disobedient.

……

There are fewer and fewer situations where I can speak, and the shadow always likes to interrupt my words.

I was a little angry, but whenever I wanted to teach Shadow a lesson, Shen Qiao would always come and pull me away.

So the shadow became more and more disobedient.

Reluctantly, I finally found a way to avoid the shadow. I pulled Shen Qiao to hide under the bed, where it is always safe.

But before that, Shen Qiao pulled me onto the bed faster than I could.

He blushed beautifully.

He stutters like I do.

Shadow tried to drag me under the bed, looking disturbed.

I struggled to avoid it, trying to hear clearly what Shen Qiao was saying.

But before I heard Shen Qiao's words clearly, I heard the door open first.

Shadow hid under the bed.

I saw Shen Qiao's father standing at the door.

After a short period of silence, there was a thunderstorm in transit.

……

Arguing, shoving, beating.

I hid in the corner, and the shadow hid in the corner.

Shen Qiao's father screamed and roared like a monster. He pointed at me and cursed at Shen Qiao.

I heard him call me a madman.

It's a neurosis.

I am abnormal.

Shen Qiao stood in front of me. I've never seen him flinch while holding on.

I feel uneasy. Although Shen Qiao's father often speaks to me in a dissatisfied voice, I have never seen him scold Shen Qiao.

Except today.

Is it because of me again?

Am I doing it wrong again?

Am I doing it wrong again?

Is it because of me again?

Because I am me?

Because I am not Cheng?

Because I am not Cheng?

Because I am not Cheng?

I turned my head to look at the shadow.

Shadow gave me a garish smile.

……

I haven't been to school since the day Shen Qiao's father lost his temper.

I remember the day he said he was going to send me where I should go.

Shen Qiao was more angry than his father, and said in a louder voice that I am not abnormal, I just haven't come out of the previous shadow.

They quarreled for a long time, and finally they broke up.

The same quarrel as before, the same scene as before.

I am terrified.

I was terrified that next time someone would grab my hair and throw me in the car.

Shen Qiao noticed my fear, he comforted me and told me not to be afraid.

I looked up at him, and that gentle smile gradually made me feel at ease.

I want to touch him.

But before that, I heard Shen Qiao say: "I will protect you...I will definitely protect you."

"A Cheng."

——A Cheng.

He was talking to Ah Cheng.

What he wanted to protect was Ah Cheng.

not me.

not me.

It was dark before my eyes.