Before and After Divorce

In the middle of the night, the pattering rain started to fall quietly while people were not prepared. Su Yan turned over on the empty double bed, lay on his side and watched the raindrops hit the bay window, and then meander down.

During this time he was always in a light sleep.

When I can't fall asleep, I lie down and watch the night of Xiangshan Mountain, until the sun rises.

At his age, the state of laziness will slide straight down like a cliff.

I can't get up the energy to welcome a new day, and I look forward to the sunrise when I can't sleep, but when I look forward to the sun, I find that there is really nothing to look forward to, so every day feels boring.

The lingering rain continued until the early morning, and the obscure sunlight struggled to peek out from the gloomy clouds, and stingily sprinkled in secretly, unable to illuminate the entire bedroom.

He was alone in the room.

The ceiling was off-white, and the walls on all sides were also off-white. He lay on the bed, stretching out his limbs but couldn't touch anything.

Only the lonely sound of rain, tick tock.

Like a vine growing out of a swamp, it entangled him ghostly with a cold dampness.

WeChat suddenly rang.

Su Yan stared at the ceiling dully for a few seconds before reaching out and taking the phone.

Not surprisingly, it was Wen Zichen's WeChat.

"Brother Yan, what do you want for breakfast?"

The bedroom and study on the third floor were his private domain, so Wen Zichen wisely didn't dare to come up, and usually only sent WeChat when he was called.

"Whatever. I get up later."

He only replied a few simple words but felt very tired. The WeChat rang again. He knew it was Wen Zichen's reply, so he didn't bother to open it again.

His profile picture on the WeChat interface is still the back view of Xiao Xia throwing himself into the sea in "Whale Language".

Every time it is opened, the heart will suddenly curl up - pain, but also like a strange pleasure.

He was more or less a self-destructive person.

Thinking like this, he pulled the quilt over his head, as if sinking into the deep sea, and the tide of memories surged up...

He took a deep breath and sank in like masochistic.

When chatting privately with Xu Zhe, he said that he was fascinated by Xiaoxia's back.

When a person breaks with the world, he destroys his body and spirit together without leaving a trace, and there is a kind of pure beauty.

He asked Xu Zhe, is this a terrible idea?

Xu Zhe said, probably everyone has a little bit.It's just that people become gray when they grow up, weak, ambiguous, and sometimes as long as they are about the same, the world is still good, so middle-aged people have no idealism, only the romance of teenagers is decisive .I asked Xia Tingwan to play Xiao Xia, and Yang Dechang asked Zhang Zhen to play Xiao Si, and I drew a knife and stabbed him in "A Brighter Summer Day"—the ideal was shattered, so he disappeared with the world.

When Xu Zhe said that, Su Yan suddenly remembered how his younger brother died in front of him.

The young body that was run over by the howling train.

When it was shattered, it was not a loud bang, but a soft puff——

As Eliot wrote: This is how the world ends, not with a bang but with a whimper.

The bloody color of dahlias occupied his field of vision.

That year, he, the coming-of-age ceremony given to him by the world was dripping with blood.

But he still didn't break with the world.

He put Su Jin's diary in the cabinet in his heart, locked it firmly, and then continued to move forward indifferently, maybe he would rather believe that he was not hurt by it.

He was born a middle-aged man, and he pursued all the romance and daring because that was exactly what he never had.

The first time I saw Xia Tingwan was at the celebration banquet when Xia Tingwan returned to China after winning Cannes best actor.

Xu Zhe knew he had gone, but he didn't ask Xu Zhe to introduce him to Xia Tingwan.

He was leaning on the railing on the second floor of the hotel, watching Xia Tingwan standing in the middle of the first floor from a distance. The young man took the first glass from the top of the champagne tower and drank it vigorously——

Amidst the crowds, Xia Tingwan was as magnificent as a blooming rose.

He watched like this, the celebration banquet was halfway through, the other actors and screenwriters of "Whale Language" and other main creators basically shuttled between the major media to connect with each other, only Xia Tingwan slipped to the corner and found a stick Pillar.

Su Yan found it interesting. He stood on a high place, but he could still see Xia Tingwan just by changing the angle.

The boy hid behind the pillar and secretly lit a cigarette, as if he was playing with himself, exhaled a string of smoke rings, and then exhaled a higher circle.

After that, he seemed to be tired of playing again, leaning his head lazily on the pillar, tapping the pillar with his fingers in boredom, as if he was tired of everything intertwined with cups and cups, and it was hard to tell whether the posture was decadent or rebellious.

Su Yan stood on the second floor and watched intently. From such a distance, he couldn't see Xia Tingwan's eyebrows clearly, but the beauty of the flowers in the mist still took his breath away.

During that short night standing on the second floor, he fell ill like a high fever.

His breathing became short of breath, his face became hot, and the heart in his body seemed to be on a roller coaster.

He became weak and dizzy, but his eyes became brighter and brighter.

He had no choice but to fall in love at first sight.

After that night, the 31-year-old armed himself like never before.

He knew that it would be the most important battle of his life.

The moment when he is close to Xia Tingwan is the moment when he is closest to his ideal—whether it is for love or for himself.

He dressed himself up as a nearly perfect Su Yan

Because in his heart, only Su Yan like that can be worthy of Xia Tingwan.

Su Yan has no experience. To pursue this matter, he partly relied on his years of comprehensiveness in the power and money market, but when he armed himself, most of the time, he was still just acting on the instinct of an ordinary man——

When Xia Tingwan needs him, he will show up at any time; what Xia Tingwan wants, he will give.

After he went to Feng County to deliver crayfish, Xia Tingwan began to send him occasional wechat messages on his own initiative.

Sometimes it's a selfie, sometimes it's some trivial things in life, he can answer them properly

It's just that Xia Tingwan sometimes sent out an expression aimlessly, and he racked his brains, not knowing how to reply to continue the conversation.

Later, he simply worked with his assistant to make Xia Tingwan's appearance in "Whale Language" and the show frame by frame into emoticons.

After Xia Tingwan suddenly saw it, he was surprised and shy, but replied with a little pride: Why do I look so beautiful every frame, ε=(′ο*))) Alas, the emoji package is accepted.Since you are so powerful, I will make you my number one fan.

He was honorably awarded, and was so happy that he played electronic music on the car stereo, and swayed his body a few times to the rhythm while driving the car.

That kind of happiness is so pure that it is not like what people of his age would still have.

Pursuing Xia Tingwan is a sweet torture.

Xia Tingwan is a wild deer, it acts entirely on curiosity and instinct, it will trample him with its little hoof, it will lick him gently with its tongue, sometimes it will drive him away with its horns when it gets angry, but if you look He really flinched at this, but he would lean over to show him its soft ear roots, coquettishly asking him to come back and touch it.

So if it is pure pursuit, it seems not very accurate.

Pursuit is one-sided madness and obsession, but he and Xia Tingwan are two people's game - you advance and I retreat, turn and turn, and be fascinated.

He once accompanied Xia Tingwan to Japan, Xia Tingwan drank several times the plum wine without ice, half drunk and walked with him in his arms.

Under the neon lights of the night under the Tokyo Tower, he hugged Xia Tingwan, the boy squinted a pair of glowing peach eyes and suddenly turned sideways to kiss her.

His heart was beating violently, but Xia Tingwan suddenly changed his mind midway and pushed him.

Pushing, but not completely pushing, and halfway through pushing, he reluctantly circled his neck back, but this time he didn't kiss him at all, and only bit his chin hard.

There was blood on Su Yan's chin, and he couldn't even shave his beard for two days, and he couldn't even put on an OK bandage. His unshaven beard was so funny that he looked like a cartoon character.

He was stunned by the torment, and he restrained himself somewhat after returning from Japan, thinking that Xia Tingwan also needed a little space.

But the two of them hadn't faded away for a week, Xia Tingwan first posted a message on Moments, writing pitifully that his feet had blisters from walking in the mountains while filming, and he couldn't eat anything, and then sent him a private message, Say you want to eat hairy crabs.

He was on a business trip in the Middle East at that time, and there was something wrong with the adapter brought by his assistant, and his personal mobile phone couldn't be charged, so he didn't reply until a day later.

But Xia Tingwan had never received this kind of cold reception from him, and he was ignored by condescending to him, probably out of embarrassment, so he immediately ignored him awkwardly.

He didn't respond to anything he sent, and he didn't answer the phone calls. He had no choice but to call Zhao Nanshu and asked about the location and end time of the filming.

After finishing the work, he flew back from the Middle East in a hurry, and first found a way to directly transport fresh hairy crabs from the farm to T County next to Huabaishan Mountain, where Xia Tingwan was filming. Arrived at T county.

After arriving in T County, he calculated the time when Xia Ting would leave the mountain late, and steamed the hairy crabs in advance at the hotel. He brought eight pieces of crabs, packed the crab vinegar and shredded ginger in small boxes, and warmed them up again. A bottle of rice wine, and then hired a car to wait at the intersection of the mountain.

When Xia Tingwan came out from the intersection, he really looked like he was brought in the deep mountains, with a disheveled face and a little thinner.

When he saw Su Yan, his eyes lit up, but then he straightened his face, as if he was about to turn around and leave.

Su Yan chased after him, and coaxed Xia Tingwan back with a single sentence: "I brought the hairy crabs and wine, you go back with me now, when you arrive at the hotel, the crabs have just been steamed and are still steaming."

……

After Xia Ting took a shower late, he happily sat at the table without even drying his hair.

He was very anxious, and was scalded by the hot hairy crabs and kept changing hands, but he was unwilling to wait for a while, and wanted to crush the crab claws with his teeth.

"Do you still have teeth?"

Su Yan quickly snatched the crabs, crushed the claws of each hairy crab with crab claws, and then carefully unloaded the meat before feeding it to Xia Tingwan.

Xia Tingwan wasn't polite to him either, holding the rice wine jar and sipping it one mouthful at a time, lazily waiting for him to feed him, drinking until his face turned red, and then he got into the bed contentedly.

T County is too small, the best hotel is only a three-star hotel, named Fulin, the decoration also has a rustic and rich feeling, red carpet and golden elevator, and the highest-grade suites also have a feeling that lasts for years The smoke smell, the dim lights and the old-fashioned TV complement each other to show a sense of age. It is really not a hotel that can make people feel comfortable.

But Su Yan always thinks back to that night, the dim lights are warm and bright orange in his memory.

Xia Tingwan was wearing a nightgown, complaining to him under the quilt.

"I really had several blisters on my feet, and it hurts to death when I walk... Alas, the pain is sore now, I don't want to go to the mountains to film anymore, it's too painful."

The teenager complained with a childish squeamishness.

But Su Yan is used to talking about working hard, but actually playing, even if it is a little bit of kneeling, he can't wait to find a substitute actor. He only thinks that Xia Tingwan is still crying, and he should go to the mountains to play tricks obediently After the filming is over, no matter how you think about it, it is very cute.

He walked over and touched the boy's head: "Shall I rub it for you?"

Xia Tingwan declined in a low voice, but the rejection was not thorough: "No, it's not very good, is it?"

Su Yan smiled, didn't ask any more questions, but sat on the edge of the bed, grabbed Xia Tingwan's feet and pulled them out from under the quilt, revealing a section of slender white legs.

The boy's feet felt small in his palm, the insteps were slightly swollen, and the soles of the feet had marks left by blisters. The round toes were slightly raised, and the ankles were thin, like a fragile flower branch.

Su Yan held the sole of the foot, rubbed it lightly and sometimes heavily for a while, then couldn't help but bowed his head and kissed it.

He explained in a low voice: "I was in the Middle East before. There was a problem with the charging converter. The phone was out of power for a day. I didn't mean to ignore you. Don't be angry."

Xia Tingwan's face turned red all of a sudden, she didn't know if it was from drinking, or she just became shy, she turned her head away from Su Yan: "Yes."

After a while, Xia Tingwan suddenly said: "A few days ago, the director gave me a play lecture, and there was a scene that I couldn't always act well. He said that I had to act with the energy I really wanted, but I acted too poorly. Why? I can't even pass..."

"What do you want?" Su Yan raised his head and asked.

Xia Tingwan didn't answer, but the peach blossom eyes looking at him were moist.

"Sex?" Su Yan suddenly understood, and his heart trembled suddenly.

With this trembling, the wolf nature in his heart burst out all of a sudden.

He thought for a while, then lowered his voice, and said slowly: "There is a way to act well. You should act as appetite. Sexual desire and appetite are interlinked—"

"You think about your favorite food. You think about it for a long time, but you can't eat it. Finally, one day someone brought that thing in front of you. The longing in your eyes, you want to open your mouth and swallow it in one bite. The contradiction and greed that you can’t help but want to eat slowly is sex.”

He spoke more and more slowly, and his voice was slightly hoarse.

But the strength of his hands also increased quietly, five fingers passed through the boy's toes ambiguously, entangled and stroked, and at the end, he pressed heavily on the soles of Xia Tingwan's feet.

The boy's body jumped up, his breathing was short, and he leaned against the head of the bed with flushed cheeks.

"Have you learned it?" Su Yan narrowed his eyes and asked.

Su Yan lifted the quilt from Xia Tingwan's body and pressed it up, Xia Tingwan immediately buried her head in his shoulder like an ostrich.

In such a posture, it seems that they are very close, but in fact they quietly avoid kissing and more hot staring.

In the dark and old bedroom, the atmosphere between the two of them was sticky, almost damp...

Su Yan stroked the back of the boy's head, felt Xia Tingwan's heartbeat pounding against his chest, and endured: "I'll teach you how to act, okay?"

Xia Tingwan poked his head out of his arms and looked at Su Yan. He wanted to free his ankle from Su Yan's grasp, but inadvertently kicked his toe on the majestic part of Su Yan's crotch.

Su Yan took a deep breath and backed away. For a moment, he couldn't tell whether the little thing in his arms was seducing him or torturing him.

Xia Tingwan's face was so red that it looked like the sunset glow was sprinkled on his face. When he touched it, he seemed to realize for the first time that the lust between men is so majestic and aggressive.From then to now, the first reaction was to pick up the scattered quilt and cover it between his legs.

Su Yan didn't even need to look to know that Xia Tingwan had quietly set up a small tent.

Xia Tingwan's chest heaved up and down, but his eyes became more and more flustered. He looked left and right, but refused to meet Su Yan's eyes.

The person also retreated further and further away, and gradually the whole person got under the quilt, only showing Su Yan the back of his fair neck.

"Su Yan," a small voice came from the tangle of blankets: "I'm afraid..."

Su Yan had no choice but to itch his teeth with hatred.

He leaned down, he just wanted to kiss Xia Tingwan, but he still couldn't help biting the young boy's delicate nape like a cat holding a cub.

"pain……"

Xia Tingwan let out a trembling cry. He was stuffed under the quilt, and his voice was muffled. After a long time, he finally poked his head out from under the quilt.

"It's my first time."

The young man's eyes were timidly wet. Although he was afraid, there was a faint stubbornness in his eyes, and he looked at Su Yan stubbornly: "I am curious and eager. I want to know what it feels like to have sex. I can't bear it." I can't stop trying to seduce you, but I'm still afraid, afraid of taking off my clothes, afraid of pain... Su Yan, will you force me?"

Su Yan closed his eyes and sighed.

"I do not know."

He had to say this, even though the crotch was already thriving, the pain made him frown.

What a natural little bastard, brazenly preying on beauty and committing crimes.

Seriously seduce him, then seriously reject him, and then look at him with wet eyes like peach blossoms, and tell him bluntly "I am the first time" boy, making him so weak that he can only bow his head and surrender.

"Then can you tell me... what it was like for the first time?"

Xia Tingwan tilted his head slightly.

"can."

Su Yan smiled wryly, he helped Xia Tingwan pull the quilt more neatly, and then held the boy's little face.

He took a deep breath, almost using all his romance and imagination, and said slowly, "The first time—it was like swimming in a summer stream."

"You see the sparkling water, and you think that the lust is too deep, so deep that it seems to drown you, so you are afraid. But in fact, if you close your eyes, take off your clothes and dive into the water, you will suddenly find ——In fact, you are a fish. So what is there to be afraid of? You are light and free, you can float on the water, or you can bury your head in it and swim, and the water waves will take you to where you want to go. In water...you can go anywhere, in the sky, in the ground, and in your sweetest dreams."

Xia Tingwan was stunned when he heard it, his eyes were originally looking at Su Yan, but when he heard behind him, it became more and more foggy, and his eyelashes trembled slightly like butterfly wings.

Su Yan kissed his earlobe lightly, and said in a low voice, "Honey, go to sleep for a while, I'm exhausted from filming."

Xia Tingwan grabbed Su Yan's hand with some reluctance: "Where are you going?"

"Go to the outhouse and deal with some documents."

Su Yan said in a hoarse voice.

This time he didn't tell the truth, he just didn't have the self-control to sleep in the same bed with Xia Tingwan.

……

After coaxing Xia Tingwan, Su Yan went to the outer room of the suite, turned on the TV and picked a random channel, and saw that "Animal World" happened to be playing, so he dubbed it along with the explanation inside, and just put it on.

Then Su Yan sat on the sofa, clicked on a file with his laptop, and looked at it casually.

After an unknown amount of time, around the time when he also felt drowsy, he suddenly heard a few light footsteps behind him.

Before Su Yan could look back, he found that the lights in the entire room had been turned off, only the old-fashioned TV screen was still slightly bright.

In the sudden darkness, a body with the fragrance of shower gel slipped into his arms.

Su Yan was still in astonishment, subconsciously wrapped his arms around the young man's thin waist.

"I can not sleep."

Xia Tingwan's eyes were so bright that sparks could be seen faintly in his pupils, he lifted a corner of his nightgown with one hand, there was no underwear inside.

He just straddled Su Yan's waist with his bare buttocks like this.

Su Yan could hardly breathe for a moment, nor could he react.

Xia Tingwan was panting, his eyes gleamed with water, his eyes fluttered, shy but full of bold desire.

He held Su Yan's hand tightly, pressed it against the hot spot between his legs, and murmured: "Su Yan, I want you to take me swimming, take me to a dream, take me to—"

In the darkness, Su Yan's hands trembled involuntarily.

He had never seen such a sincere, undisguised vitality in other people.

"Don't light the lamp, don't take off my clothes... Su Yan, help me."

Xia Tingwan couldn't wait to swing her waist, and gently bumped against Su Yan's palm with her crotch.

Su Yan finally grasped the object that he had endured for a long time with one hand, and moved slowly and forcefully.

Xia Tingwan raised her head and half closed her eyes, covered Su Yan's eyes with her hands, and moaned passionately on Su Yan's body.

desire.

Colorful, wild desires.

Like a flame, it burned instantly between him and Xia Tingwan.

That is the truest connection that exists only between two physical bodies.

In the unlit room, only the old TV is still playing "Animal World", and the announcer inside is still explaining the habits of the blue peacock.

"The adult blue peacock's estrus period is from June to August. Through the contraction of skin muscles, the male peacock raises its gorgeous and dazzling tail feathers like a fan. It keeps shaking and makes a sound, commonly known as "opening the tail"—"

Su Yan firmly grasped the top of the boy's eruption with his fingers, hugged Xia Tingwan's body trembling with pleasure, and whispered hoarsely in his ear: "My little male peacock, you are in heat too. It's time, isn't it?"

Xia Tingwan was so ashamed that she shed tears, and buried her face in Su Yan's shoulder as if begging for mercy.

Su Yan smiled softly, held the boy's round buttocks with one hand and lifted them up high, and finally let go of the valve with the other hand: "Come on, open the screen and let me see."

The boy shook his head vigorously, sobbing and shot it out in Su Yan's hand.

-

They didn't do anything else.

After that night, this entanglement happened many times.

The estrus period of the little male peacock is not as short as it is explained on TV. Xia Tingwan enjoys it as soon as he opens his eyes, like something quietly recovers after the spring rain and grows vigorously, out of control.

Xia Tingwan began to pester Su Yan with joy, and when he was out filming, he would occasionally send messages like "I miss you" on WeChat. Just three words made Su Yan's heart flutter as if he was less than two years old. Ten's young man is experiencing first love.

He frequently flies across borders, sometimes just to see Xia Ting at night.

As they got closer, Xia Tingwan's temper became elusive. Sometimes Su Yan would suddenly become jealous when he saw Su Yan talking too much with other celebrities in social situations.

Fell on Su Yan at night, biting Su Yan's chin, Adam's apple, shoulders, and collarbone like a bloodthirsty little beast, leaving Su Yan with tooth marks all over his body, until Su Yan had to beg for mercy until.

Sometimes after finishing the work, his eyes would suddenly become gloomy, and he would huddle under the quilt and refuse to speak, even if Su Yan coaxed him for half the night, it would not help.

The inside of Xia Tingwan is self-willed and prickly.

Su Yan actually understood this early in the morning, but he wanted Xia Tingwan too much, even with the sting of being cut by a sharp weapon, his yearning forced him to forbear to move forward, and every step he took brought internal injuries.

Their relationship, in the eyes of outsiders, of course Su Yan should have the absolute upper hand.

That year he was at the pinnacle of his life and had just reached the thirtieth mark. He was energetic, but deep and sophisticated, and he was in charge of the huge Hengtai Group with ease.

The combination of him and Xia Tingwan should have been the most economically logical exchange like the exchange of money and sex.

But he couldn't do it in front of Xia Tingwan.

He was just an ordinary admirer.

When he was the craziest in love, he wrote a sentence to Xia Tingwan:

"You are a ray of light, you are the god of beauty in the world."

Later, I felt that the poem was too nasty, so I quietly deleted it and never sent it.

But fortunately, it was not sent out. If the media accidentally found out, it would be too embarrassing.

Xia Tingwan has always refused to take off her clothes in front of Su Yan, they can't make it to the end.

Every time Su Yan used his hands and mouth to release Xia Tingwan, but that was all.

Of course he is experienced and has enough skills to make Xia Tingwan linger in his arms, wishing he could spend time with him whenever he has free time, but he complains endlessly.

Such one-way sex is undoubtedly a kind of torture for a grown man, and he endured it for half a year.

Su Yan understands Xia Tingwan's fragility, if Xia Tingwan doesn't mention it, he won't mention it either.

Just like he never talked about his past.

Sometimes he doesn't know whether he is really that good at patience.

But in fact, if he was really that powerful, maybe he wouldn't have made a sudden move that year to force Xia Tingwan to marry him.

Many opportunities in a person's life are like a fleeting moment, and he really wants his little peacock to perch in his arms forever and never fly away.

He endured it thousands of times, but in the end he couldn't hold back once.

If you don't hold back once, the thousands of times before are like nothing.

In the end, the teenager married him and put on the ring he carefully prepared.

But it was red-eyed and unwilling to walk into his life.

He is probably guilty of original sin.He thought so often afterwards.

Until now, Su Yan often thinks of the first night at Fulin Hotel.

The boy relaxed in his arms like a cat, his face flushed.

They entwined their toes intimately, hugged each other and chatted while lying under the covers.

"Su Yan, is my place big?"

Xia Tingwan wrapped his arms around his neck and whispered in his ear.

"..."

Before he answered, he couldn't help laughing for a long time: "It doesn't seem to be very old."

Xia Tingwan was so angry that he turned his back and ignored him. He hugged the young man from behind, rubbed the side face of the young man with the stubble on his chin after a night, and said in a low voice, "But it's not small, and ..."

He stopped on purpose, and successfully hooked Xia Tingwan to ask: "And what?"

"And it's very beautiful." He whispered in Xia Tingwan's ear.

Xia Tingwan quietly turned his face back, he was a little shy, but he couldn't bear the praise, his eyes revealed a smug gleam, he seemed to have received some encouragement, and suddenly moved to Su Yan's side, curiously said: "Su Yan, can I see where you are?"

His eyes were wide open, and when he raised his face, the tip of his nose was raised like a deer, and he asked innocently.

The smile on Su Yan's face almost collapsed.

"Please forgive me," he said in a hoarse voice, gently cupping the face of the boy in front of him: "My little prince, if you torture me again, I really can't take it anymore."

It was the first time Xia Tingwan heard him call him that.

At first, he blinked his eyes in surprise, but then his first reaction was to look over timidly, as if he wanted to confirm again: "Su Yan, am I your little prince?"

"Will I always be your little prince? Always?"

The young man couldn't wait for him to answer, so he couldn't help but started to ask repeatedly, his eyes were filled with the mist of early spring, moist and hazy, he pursed his lips, and when he asked like this, there was a faint smirk on his expression melancholy.

"Always will be."

Su Yan replied.

Xia Tingwan listened to this, the misty fog in his eyes gradually dissipated, and the sun-like rays of light bloomed from those light brown pupils, he smiled lightly.

It was a smile full of sweet anticipation for tomorrow.

In Xia Tingwan's bones, there is vitality.

Wrapped under a seemingly rebellious exterior, this teenager is loving.

He loves food, loves sex, and loves every beautiful yearning that this world bestows on him.

That night, Zeng had no doubts that he would defend Xia Tingwan for the rest of his life.

He wanted Xia Tingwan to bloom unscrupulously forever, not to be bound by the rules of this world, and to be treated kindly like a little prince forever.

He once thought that the love he could give was infinite.

Regardless of day and night, spring comes and autumn goes, and it will not change until death.

After all, it was just a fantasy world he painted for himself five years ago.

Memories come to an abrupt end.

Su Yan opened his eyes and was still lying on the bed.

Gray room, four empty walls, he was the only one on the double bed.

That dim, warm light, that soft physical touch, that sweet smile——

Like the tide when it came, it faded away silently and left Su Yan mercilessly.

Su Yan stretched out his hand in vain, but there was nothing in the air.

"No..." He heard a broken moan in his chest.

In the lingering rainy weather, vines crawled into the lonely room and entangled his hands and feet.

-

Note:

Sothisishowtheworldends.Notwithabangbutwithawhimper." -TSEliotTheHollowmen