Before and After Divorce

"Su Yan, when I came back today, I found that it was snowing outside. It's so beautiful."

"Ah."

"When you're not so busy, let's go to Mount Fuji. Go to see the snow - see the snow during the day, eat sukiyaki, soak in the hot spring at night, and then have sex after soaking in the hot spring."

Xia Tingwan and Su Yan lay under the fluffy quilt, he hugged Su Yan's arm, looked up at the bay window, and murmured.

In the night, Xuxu Baixue looked extraordinarily gentle, and it seemed that he could feel the snowflakes falling softly on his body through a layer of glass.

Su Yan smiled, he pressed up from behind and kissed Xia Tingwan's back, and said in a low voice: "Little guy, if you're so sloppy, why don't you finish this time first."

Xia Tingwan also snickered, the thing slipped out of his body when he turned around.

He got into Su Yan's arms, and then playfully clamped the thing between his thighs. When he heard Su Yan couldn't help but snorted, he raised his head and kissed Su Yan's lips.

"I love you."

Xia Tingwan said it again, blinked his eyes and asked, "Say, do you love me?"

"Love."

Su Yan looked at Xia Tingwan's eyes with a little helplessness in his cherished eyes, and said in a low voice.

Xia Tingwan smiled.

He knew the answer when he asked.

So I asked in a calm and unhurried manner, without any anxiety.

When a pair of peach blossom eyes are sweetly bent, it's like scooping up a handful of wet light from the lake.

He reached into the quilt to support Su Yan's still upright part, lifted his buttocks and sat in.

A drop of sweat dripped from the tip of his nose, Xia Tingwan panted impatiently, shook his head and said coquettishly, "Let's rest for a while...just a little while."

Su Yan was not in a hurry, but held his face gently, and moved it very slowly.

Xia Tingwan tightly wrapped his legs around Su Yan's waist.

He was very close to Su Yan, he could hear Su Yan's heartbeat and feel Su Yan's gentle breath.

Perhaps at that distance, Su Yan's eyes on his face were too hot.

Xia Tingwan's heart suddenly couldn't help beating in a panic.

He didn't know what he was thinking at that moment, but he subconsciously reached out to cover the scar on his right face.

Only then did he vaguely remember what Su Yan had said to him—that once there was a scar on his face, even a pretty person would become an eyesore.

After so long, he actually thought he had forgotten.

But the memory of the fear of those words was still sealed in the bottom of my heart. When it suddenly surged up, I couldn't control it, as if my heart had fallen from a high place in vain.

Su Yan looked at him with deep eyes, took his hand and tried to pull his fingers away from his face.

Xia Tingwan struggled a bit and refused to let it go. He whispered: "Su Yan, you... said that I had scars on my face, which was ugly."

There was a bit of stubbornness in his eyes——

But there is only a little bit. Looking deeper, the grievance is still soft after all.

Su Yan didn't speak, and pulled him into his arms and forcefully opened his fingers.

Looking at the long, narrow and obscure mark on his right face, Su Yan's eyes darkened ferociously. He pressed his chin and kissed the scar fiercely repeatedly, until Xia Tingwan felt his skin It was as if they would be roughly crushed.

"Not ugly,"

Su Yan apologized while kissing him, and said in a hoarse voice: "I'm sorry, Tingting. You are not ugly, I just..."

He froze there, as if he suddenly suffocated his breath when he mentioned that past event, and fell into silence for a moment.

"That morning, when I woke up and saw you sleeping soundly on my shoulder, for a moment, I seemed to have forgotten everything before, including the car accident and wanting to divorce. I don't remember anything. The dream It's so light, so beautiful, just like the year we first got married, you wake up next to me every day, lying in my arms like a bird, like it will never fly away. I want to bow my head and kiss you, Then, you woke up - when you turned your head, I suddenly saw that scar, I..."

"Tingting, I really..."

Su Yan finally couldn't continue talking, he said dejectedly: "I'm sorry."

Xia Tingwan couldn't take it anymore, hugged Su Yan's neck tightly, even his legs were stubbornly entangled with Su Yan.

He suddenly thought, fortunately their bodies are still connected in that secret place, otherwise he would really collapse.

Being loved to the extreme, I actually feel pain.

If he was a hedgehog, he wished he could pull out every one of his thorns with his own hands, and then tremblingly offer it to Su Yan.

But not.

Can't do that.

He won't hurt himself again.

If he hurts one point, Su Yan will love the remaining nine points for him.

He only shed a drop of blood, and Su Yan's heart was already dripping with blood.

So he must love himself very much, and love himself brightly, strong and open.

……

Xia Tingwan kissed Su Yan's forehead over and over again.

They cuddled tenderly like two little beasts, and he rarely had the opportunity to hug the fragile Su Yan so intimately, there was a novel and warm feeling.

"Su Yan," Xia Tingwan propped himself up, and suddenly said, "Let's remarry."

Su Yan raised his head in surprise.

An almost negligible hesitation flashed across his deep eyes, but Xia Tingwan didn't notice it.

"Ah."

Su Yan responded vaguely, he was silent for a while, and said in a low voice: "Tingting...after a while, after a while, I will step down, okay?"

Xia Tingwan didn't know for a while whether he said he would remarry or resign after a while.

But the word resignation did attract his attention.

He opened his eyes wide and asked softly, "You mean...?"

"Leave Hengtai." Su Yan said calmly.

Xia Tingwan was a little panicked at first hearing: "Is it because work is not going well? You have been away on business for so long, did something happen?"

"No." Su Yan stroked Xia Tingwan's face and smiled, "I just don't want to do the family business any more, I want to study for a degree in literature or something. Tingting, do you agree?"

This is undoubtedly something that sounds extremely absurd.

Probably there is no second person in this world with Su Yan's wealth who would want to leave the position of Hengtai Group and decide to study for a degree in literature.

To make this decision, the wealth put down is calculated in billions, not to mention the power and status involved.

But Xia Tingwan heaved a sigh of relief after hearing this.

He laughed relaxedly: "I thought you had encountered some serious difficulty."

"I agree. Of course do what you want,"

He rubbed his face on Su Yan's palm, and said seriously: "I'll be with you, if, if we don't have enough money in the future, we'll live in a smaller house and stop driving such a nice car There are so many servants. I will go to film and make money for your study."

Maybe it was because his words were too naive, Su Yan couldn't help pinching the tip of Xia Tingwan's nose: "Little fool, you won't be short of the money you earned after retiring."

Xia Tingwan smiled foolishly.

In his heart, nothing is more important than letting Su Yan do what he wants.

Just like Su Yan never asked him such realistic questions as how much money he wanted to make and how popular he wanted to be.

Su Yan only asked him what he wanted to do.

So does he.

As long as Su Yan wanted to step down and study, he took it for granted, and didn't even need to discuss it any more. It was better to make out with Su Yan more.

He ambiguously held Su Yan's fingers with his mouth, one after another, slowly and meticulously.

Su Yan's eyes lit up again when he was seduced by him, and the part that was closely connected with his body clearly swelled a little.

Xia Tingwan didn't think it was enough, and suddenly sucked Su Yan's index finger in his mouth forcefully.

Su Yan took a deep breath, and finally couldn't help turning over and pressing him under him.

"I am rested, sir."

Xia Tingwan smiled sweetly, lying on his back with his legs wide open.

In fact, they used to do this often.

After getting married, he likes to lie in bed with Su Yan the most.

He couldn't keep up with Su Yan physically, so he always acted like a baby and wanted to rest for a while.

But he didn't let Su Yan go.

Let Su Yan stay in his body with the lingering rhyme just after he was released, and then skin to skin, chatting intimately, whispering and kissing constantly, and then wait for him to recover—then the second round, the third round wheel.

Like summer rain, pattering, lingering all night long.

Su Yan is so strong and energetic like a big cat in the night, always satisfying him to the fullest.

At the moment of courtship, Xia Tingwan thought that tonight was no different.

Xia Ting regained his energy after resting for a while, hooking Su Yan's chin with Bai Shengsheng's toes like teasing a cat.

Su Yan's eyes darkened because of being teased, he lowered his head and kissed Xia Tingwan's instep, and then tenderly squeezed his naughty toes.

"Well……"

Xia Tingwan couldn't help but moaned softly from his throat.

Su Yan leaned down and put his hands on both sides of his head, Xia Tingwan felt the scorching heat of Su Yan's body approaching him, as well as the unusually intense heartbeat.

He closed his eyes, wrapped his legs around Su Yan's waist impatiently, and waited excitedly for the moment to enter.

But after waiting for a long time, Su Yan didn't make any move.

He couldn't help raising his body and wrapping his arms around Su Yan's neck: "Sir, come in."

"Ah."

Su Yan responded.

His voice was dull, but he still didn't move.

In the next instant, Xia Tingwan felt his body sink in vain——

Before he could understand what was going on, he grunted and opened his eyes.

It was only then that Su Yan fell heavily on his body, with his head hanging limply next to his neck, only the rapid and muddy breathing sounded in his ears.

"Su Yan...Su Yan!"

Xia Tingwan's heartbeat stopped for an instant, he propped himself up and hugged Su Yan tightly, his hands were shaking violently, and he struggled to break Su Yan's face.

Su Yan's face flushed abnormally because he couldn't breathe, and his chest heaved violently, but he was obviously still conscious.

He patted Xia Tingwan's back, and after taking a few deep breaths, he pointed to the trousers that were taken off, and whispered a word: "Water."

Xia Tingwan's face turned pale with fright, hearing what Su Yan said, she quickly threw off the quilt and jumped out of bed.

He first dug out a small medicine bottle with unintelligible English written on it from Su Yan's trousers pocket, and without thinking about it, he staggered outside to pour water.

Although there was warm air in the room, the weather after winter was very cold. Running around naked and barefoot, just going back and forth like this was enough to make people's hands and feet icy cold.

Xia Tingwan didn't feel it at all, and when he hurried back with water and medicine, he was covered in cold air.

Su Yan seemed to have passed that strength, he was not panting so hard, and his face was flushed with a hint of paleness.

Subconsciously, he raised his hand to lift up the quilt, and struggled to squeeze Xia Tingwan's body under the quilt, before taking the water glass.

Xia Tingwan's fingers trembled, not knowing whether it was cold or frightened, he unscrewed the bottle cap and poured out several pills indiscriminately.

Su Yan picked one from his palm, swallowed it with water, and closed his eyes in pain.

Xia Tingwan knelt beside him, panicked, but didn't dare to disturb Su Yan for a while, so he could only clumsily hold Su Yan's palm with one hand, and lightly, one by one, with the other hand. Rubbing Su Yan's rising and falling chest gradually calmed down.

Su Yan's hand was a circle bigger than his, with slender fingers and well-defined joints.

Always warm and dry, making him feel safe and tender when holding him firmly.

It was the first time he felt the hand he was holding weaken so visibly.

Because of the cold sweat, it was very cold, and it was soft in his palm without any strength, just like the man with a pale face and closed eyes in front of him.

Su Yan...

Xia Tingwan's nose was sour, he didn't even dare to continue thinking, and the circles of his eyes turned red unconsciously.

He pulled Su Yan's palm up and put it on his face, and then covered it tightly with his hand, as if he wanted to heat up the hand.

In the next few minutes, every second seemed to be stretched hundreds of times.

After an unknown amount of time, Su Yan finally opened his eyes, and called hoarsely, "Ting Ting."

Xia Tingwan suddenly opened his eyes wide, his lips were trembling, and he barely restrained himself from crying, and asked in fear: "Su Yan, are you better? What's wrong with you?"

"It's okay." Su Yan subconsciously wanted to smile to comfort Xia Tingwan, but the corners of his mouth curled up with difficulty, and he whispered, "I was too tired when I was there, my heart was a little overloaded, and I had to catch the plane. I didn’t sleep much when I came back, and I didn’t adjust the jet lag, and then…”

He spoke very slowly, and when he spoke, his breathing gradually became more stable, and his complexion barely improved.

"Don't lie to me, it's not a matter of being tired, it's not a matter of being tired at all."

Xia Tingwan's expression became fierce uncontrollably: "Did you hide something from me? Before when you carried me downstairs, you were a little out of breath. At that time, you said you were tired, and I believed it. But now you carry me with you How could it be just a matter of being tired while preparing medicine? Su Yan—tell me, what happened? I, I..."

When he said this, he finally couldn't help biting his lips fiercely, and he couldn't help crying in a broken voice when he spoke: "I'm so scared, Su Yan...how are you now? How about we go to the hospital? "

Su Yan didn't speak immediately, but lowered his head and took another sip of water.

When he raised his head again, his expression was a little weak, and he hesitated for a while before saying: "When I was abroad, I was not very well, and sometimes I couldn't breathe. I hurriedly saw the doctor over there, and there was nothing urgent. The doctor also said that the condition was fine, so I just kept a bottle of medicine by my side."

"Ting Ting," he said with complicated eyes and a faint hint of distress, he hugged Xia Tingwan over: "It's okay now, it's over, don't cry, don't cry..."

Xia Tingwan hugged Su Yan, he didn't dare to use too much force, his breath was stuffed in his chest.

His eyes were red, and he said tremblingly, "What is it? How can you fool around with a heart problem like this? See a doctor, Su Yan, please, I really can't do this."

"Look, look."

Su Yan patted him on the back lightly, as if coaxing a panicked little milk cat: "It's not that I don't want to look at it, but I plan to check it carefully when I get back. The doctor didn't say you can't have sex, I thought it was all right..."

He cupped Xia Tingwan's face, paused before whispering, "I guess I was too excited for a while,"

When he said this, he couldn't help but feel a little embarrassed, and smiled self-deprecatingly: "I scared you."

Xia Tingwan shook his head vigorously, he couldn't care about these things now, he took Su Yan's hand and begged, "Su Yan, let's go see a doctor now? OK?"

"Baby," Su Yan pressed his temples uncomfortably, and said softly, "I've been tossing about for almost twenty hours, and now I'm taking the medicine, so it's not dangerous. ——Just let me sleep for a while, and I'll go when it's dawn, dawn Hospital, okay?"

Xia Tingwan originally wanted to persevere, but seeing Su Yan's tired expression, he felt speechless.

He knew that Su Yan must have booked a plane ticket and rushed back as soon as he found out about the reality show.

Now that I think about it, I was probably busy with unfinished work on the plane and didn't have a good rest. After I came back, I spent so much time with him——

Sudden breathlessness is probably also related to overwork.

He was really worried, but looking at Su Yan's appearance, his heart was so distressed that his mind was confused, and he felt that what Su Yan said made sense.

He habitually obeyed Su Yan, and he didn't know how to disobey Su Yan's meaning.

"Hey, don't worry."

Su Yan kissed Xia Tingwan's forehead.

There was a trace of extremely deep tenderness in his expression.

Just like countless times in the past, he kissed Xia Tingwan like this, and said softly, good night, my little prince.

Su Yan quickly closed his eyes, and his breathing gradually became steady, as if he had fallen asleep quickly.

Xia Tingwan didn't dare to sleep, he just lay down beside the pillow tremblingly, touched Su Yan's chest every few minutes, and stared at Su Yan's face stupidly.

Just like this, I boiled it every minute and every second, and I didn't know how many hours it was.During that time, he felt as if he had thought about a lot of things, but when he recalled it carefully, he seemed to have thought about nothing.

It wasn't until the first light of day broke that I was in a trance and felt that my eyes hurt so much that I couldn't open them.

Seeing that Su Yan was soundly asleep, he quietly set a vibrating alarm for an hour later, and then held the phone in his hand.

Thinking about it, he closed his eyes and squinted for a while, and when it was dawn, he would accompany Su Yan to the hospital.

……

When I opened my eyes again, the sky was completely bright.

For a few seconds, Xia Tingwan's mind went blank for a moment, and he only felt a severe pain in his temple.

Immediately afterwards, he straightened up suddenly, and when he turned his head, he suddenly found that he was alone on the bed, and there was no sign of Su Yan beside him.

"Su Yan...?"

He tentatively raised his voice and called, but there was a dead silence in the huge master bedroom, and no one responded to him.

He threw off the quilt violently, and finally found his mobile phone on the bed. The time displayed on it had already passed the alarm clock time he set.

He tremblingly unlocked it, and the interface stayed on the alarm clock interface.

There is no display after the set alarm has rung.

He was pretty sure that he had set the alarm clock before he closed his eyes.

Xia Tingwan's heart seemed to be falling from the sky.

At that moment, he suddenly had a cognition that made him feel terrified——

It's Su Yan.

Su Yan deleted the alarm clock he had set.

His face turned pale all of a sudden, and he staggered out of the room.

The Su residence in the early morning is so quiet.

"Su Yan—"

Only his desperate cry pierced the tranquility.

……

The third floor was always clean, and Aunt Rong and the others hardly came up unless they were cleaning at a fixed time or when they needed help with things.

No one heard his cry, and no one answered him.

Xia Tingwan stumbled and ran to Su Yan's study room, and the fingerprint lock of the study room was still kept by him as usual.

As soon as the door was opened, the elegant furnishings inside were spotless, as if no one had disturbed it for a long time.

Xia Tingwan supported the door frame, her legs were so weak that she couldn't stand up straight.

Su Yan is not here.

……

Su Yan once told Xia Tingwan that before marrying him, the study room was his favorite place to stay in the Xiangshan mansion.

There seemed to be a small world for him, and he felt very at ease.

In the center of the study room hangs a huge oil painting of a whale in the sea, with a somewhat post-modern style. It was painted by a young artist friend of Su Yan who had already made a name for himself in New York when he was in college.

The furniture is a complete baker set.

Su Yan told him that Baker is the designated brand for the VIP lounge of the Academy Awards ceremony.

He invited European designers to communicate with the brand to order a complete set, each of which is carefully designed and hand-polished.

Mature men seem to have their own little joy in their hearts.

Su Yan seldom showed off his property in any form, but when talking about the decoration of the study, he couldn't help explaining it seriously, even the texture of the wood had to be carefully mentioned.

Xia Tingwan couldn't help yawning at that time, Su Yan stopped talking.

He didn't have much interest in Su Yan's study later, it seemed too elegant and old-fashioned, and every detail was so meticulous that he couldn't relax.

But he's also annoying.

When the mood comes, he will sneak in naked while Su Yan is working, sit on the luxurious mahogany desk with his legs wide open, and press those incomprehensible documents and materials under his bare buttocks, Don't let Su Yan continue.

He recklessly flew into a world he didn't know well, destroying a certain higher level of refinement and order.

He took a strange joy in being a nasty but beautiful little bastard.

Because he knew that he would be forgiven forever, and would be held in Su Yan's arms and gently arrested.

……

Sometimes people's thoughts are so uncontrollable, between flashes and flints, those pictures in memory seem to be coated with a layer of soft warm light, turning back and forth in the mind a few times, making people want to stay there forever, don't Back to reality.

Xia Tingwan took a deep breath,

He tried his best to keep calm, but when he turned around and walked downstairs, his heart sank more and more.

When they reached the first floor, they saw Aunt Rong standing in the lobby.

I don't know if it's because his face is too pale, Aunt Rong looks very worried.

Xia Tingwan opened his mouth, let out a dry murmur of unknown meaning from his throat, adjusted his voice before saying hoarsely: "Aunt Rong... Where is Su Yan? Where did he go?"

"Xiao Xia, drink some water first."

Aunt Rong, who has always been calm and peaceful, panicked, poured a glass of warm water and handed it to Xia Tingwan.

She watched Xia Tingwan hold the cup but refused to take a sip, and she couldn't help showing a very embarrassed expression on her face.

She hesitated for a while, then said softly: "Mr. said that he will be away for a while. If there is no problem, he will come back. Please wait for him."

"Where did he go?"

Xia Tingwan shook his head, and asked the exact same four words again.

His expression was so stubborn that it was almost scary.

Aunt Rong lowered her head, bowed apologetically to Xia Tingwan, then closed her mouth in silence.

Xia Tingwan felt cold in his heart.

He twitched the corner of his mouth meaninglessly, bypassed Aunt Rong and continued to walk outside.

Along the way, he grabbed every servant in the Xiangshan mansion and asked them over and over again.

"Where did Su Yan go?"

Where did Su Yan go?

No one could answer him.

The expressions on everyone's faces were similar, and their answers were exactly the same. There was a little panic and a little helplessness on their faces, and in the end there was nothing but a helpless apology.

Every time Xia Tingwan asked, the despair in his eyes filled up again.

There was an almost uncontrollable anger and mania in his chest, and he wanted to roar loudly, but he couldn't release it.

He staggered and opened the door, and walked into the yard wearing only a thin nightgown.

The morning after the snow had just fallen was so cold and windy, but he seemed unconscious.

He grabbed the servant who was sweeping snow on the driveway, his voice was so hoarse that he could barely hear what he was saying: "Can you... tell me, where is Su Yan?"

The male servant was startled and shook his head vigorously: "I don't know, I really don't know."

Still the same answer.

Su Yan had already told everyone how to answer him.

"Plop" sound.

Xia Tingwan couldn't hold on any longer and knelt down in the snow.

The biting chill rushed into his knees through the thin pajamas, and his lips turned white from the cold.

Aunt Rong followed behind, and seeing this scene, she was even more frightened. She rushed up and tried to put the coat on him and pull him up, but Xia Tingwan pushed him away hard.

"roll!"

Voices ripped apart desperately in the wind.

He trembled and wanted to grab something, and scratched the ground unconsciously.

But the cold snow couldn't be grasped no matter what, it all melted into icy snow water in his hands.

"You all know what happened—"

He was trembling all over, like a desperate trapped animal, his eyes were red, and he shouted: "You know that Su Yan is sick, and you know where he went. Every one of you knows, you already knew—— Right?"

"But none of you told me. None of you told me!"

He raised his head, grabbed Aunt Rong's hand, and begged helplessly: "Please, tell me——I am his lover, Aunt Rong. He can't hide it from me like this, really can't."