Cloudy but no rain

Monday is the beginning of a week of nightmares, at least for Su Fengmian.

Every Monday morning he would get up earlier than usual, rushing back to school in the darkness of winter dawn, the first period on Monday morning was his class, and he was also the head teacher, he was also required to attend the flag-raising ceremony after seven o'clock present.

During one morning at school, Su Fengmian received three or four WeChat messages and one or two text messages from Ye Fu Yi, asking him about insignificant questions such as three meals a day, or asking him if he was tired, and even more insignificant. thing.

Su Fengmian didn't think Ye Fuyi was clingy before, unless he needed Su Fengmian, this need included both physical and psychological.

For a short period of time before Ye Fuyi's business trip, Su Fengmian had difficulty communicating with him on WeChat throughout the day. The usual communication was an hour-long conversation. Su Fengmian called this kind of conversation "announcement".

But this time when Ye Fu Yi is on a business trip, he will ask about his "home" routine.

The most frequently asked questions were whether he had eaten, what he had for breakfast, etc., or asked if he was busy. He even asked whether Su Luoqi's foot injury was healed or not.

"Aren't you too tired to take care of the students and go to class?" Ye Fuyi sent a message to Su Fengmian a few minutes ago. Su Fengmian just finished a round of students' self-study, returned to the office, glanced at the wall clock, He was going to go home for lunch before the minute hand struck twelve, and he didn't plan to go back to school in the afternoon. He wanted to go to Ye Fu Yi's house.

However, Ye Fu Yi's sudden bombardment of greetings today made him feel a little shaken.

I don't know if I should really move out from Ye Fuyi's house. No matter what, I didn't tell the other party at all, and took away all my luggage while the other party was away. It seemed a bit like a kidnapped girl who fled. look.

Su Fengmian's state of mind is similar to that of running away, he is indeed a little afraid of Ye Fu Yi's demeanor, afraid that Ye Fu Yi's few words or gentle touch will make him stay in his house obediently.

In fact, what he is afraid of is himself, Su Fengmian understands that he is easy to compromise, and it is easier to compromise than it seems on the surface.

And Ye Fu Yi actually did nothing, except for a few phone calls a long time ago that made him suspicious, and nothing else after that.

On the contrary, he himself is more like a person who has done bad things and ate the forbidden fruit. Every time Su Fengmian thinks about Ji Zhifei, even if he just thinks about Ji Zhifei, he feels more guilt in his heart.

Now he was thinking about Ji Zhifei again.

Last week, I made an appointment with Ji Zhifei for dinner this Wednesday, Su Fengmian didn't intend to let Ji Zhifei come to his house alone, it would be too much like a reminiscence.

He stared at the words in black and white on the screen, and replied to Ye Fuyi: "We are going to eat, so you should eat earlier."

Ye Fuyi: Okay, I'll go eat when I'm done.

Ye Fuyi: Eat more.

There is no so-called second return with time difference.

This made Su Fengmian almost anxious, he turned off his phone and went to the garage to pick up the car.

Along the way, listening to the wheels rumbling against the concrete floor, my mood returned to calm.

Driving calms him down. It is easier to focus on the road than anyone or anything. Only when driving does he feel that his life is in control, even if there is a traffic jam - the road is real. Right now, even if he drives the wrong way, he still believes that in this familiar city, there is always a way to get where he wants to go.

As for people, people are completely different. Even the person right in front of him can be kissed and touched, but he can never say that he has seen the other person's heart, not even a tiny bit.

So Su Fengmian still didn't intend to tell Ye Fuyi that he was going to move out, in short, he would know when he came back in a week.

If there is anything that needs to be explained, let's talk about it later, Su Fengmian is a little tired.

He parked the car, took the keys of Ye Fu Yi's house, and returned to the house he had been away for a long time.

The furnishings inside are still the same as before. It seems that Ye Fu Yi has never lived in it. Maybe when he comes home every day, what Ye Fu Yi has to do is to take a shower and sleep. At most, he will call Su Fengmian and say a few words. Good night.

Su Fengmian passed the kitchen and saw the unwashed bowls and chopsticks left by Ye Fuyi, piled up a bit high, white porcelain bowls protruding from the sink like an arhat.

Su Fengmian walked over to have a look, and the bowl and chopsticks seemed to have been soaked in the water for a long time, the water was turbid, and the air was filled with a little sour smell that was not easy to detect.

Ye Fuyi probably wasn't the kind of person who could do housework, so before Su Fengmian moved in, Ye Fuyi didn't have any extra furnishings in his home.

Su Fengmian guessed this point, if he can do housework, with Ye Fu Yi's age and income, he is probably a married man, unless he himself is not interested in getting married.

This is not Su Fengmian's prejudice against men in their 40s, it's just Su Fengmian's prejudice against Ye Fu Yi. In Ye Fuyi's eyes, Ye Fuyi looks like he should get married and have a family, regardless of whether the marriage partner is a man or a woman.

He reluctantly helped Ye Fu Yi wash the dishes, and he had lost the original impulse to make soup for Ye Fu Yi.

Su Fengmian's purpose of washing dishes now is not to make Ye Fu Yi happy, nor to treat himself as another owner of this family, but simply not to let mosquitoes breed.

After washing the dishes, he went to the room on the second floor to pack his luggage.

Su Fengmian's suitcase is placed in Ye Fuyi's closet. Ye Fuyi has a special cabinet for suitcases, and his own is also placed here.

Su Fengmian opened the cabinet slowly, and a smell of mothballs wafted out. He took out the empty box, opened the door on the other side, and looked for his clothes.

Su Fengmian and Ye Fuyi's clothes are usually arranged by Su Fengmian. He is too lazy to subdivide the clothes of the two of them, so the layers of clothes in the wardrobe, some are Su Fengmian's, some are Ye Fuyi's, intertwined, like Mille-feuille.

Su Fengmian caressed these folded clothes, feeling somewhat sad.

With plenty of time, he leisurely looked for his own clothes. There weren't many, and he quickly found them all. The closet was a little messed up by him, so he spent some more time tidying up Ye Fuyi's clothes.

While he was packing his clothes into the box, he glanced inadvertently at the closet, and he found something odd about it, but he couldn't say it was.

Su Fengmian sat on the floor for a long time, his arms were sore, he leaned against the foot of the bed to rest, put his hands on the mattress, and slept in a daze for half an hour.

He just finished reading "Mediocrity", and it is easy to dream about related plots in his dreams.Although this book is not as good-looking as he imagined, it is at least interesting.

He remembered in a half-dream that there was a scene in this book where the son found the luggage that his father left at home and learned that his father was not on a business trip.

Su Fengmian thought about it, and suddenly woke up. He hastily opened the wardrobe, and finally knew what was so strange.

Ye Fuyi's suitcase was still there.

Su Fengmian remembered that when he was packing and cleaning Ye Fuyi's house, there was only one suitcase in the house, and there were no big bags and small bags other than the briefcase, but now that he is traveling far away, how could he not even have a suitcase? take.

Su Fengmian sat in a daze, staring at the box for a long time, but the uncertainty in his heart finally prevailed, so he decided to call Ye Fuyi.

"What's wrong?" As soon as the phone was connected, Ye Fu Yi asked him first, which made Su Fengmian at a loss.

Su Fengmian asked bluntly: "Where did you go on a business trip?" He wanted to relax his tone, although he already felt like an anxious little woman, with boundless anxiety.

Ye Fu Yi paused for a moment and told him: "Dust City is just next door to Moon City, I will go back soon, do you miss me?"

Su Fengmian's eyes moved from Ye Fuyi's suitcase to the brown-black floor, and looked at his own suitcase again. He said, "It's not...well, I mean, a little bit."

"It's true that we haven't seen each other for a long time. By the way," Ye Fu Yi changed the subject, "I have a few dishes in the kitchen that haven't been washed. If you are free... Please, please."

Ye Fu Yi seldom talked to Su Fengmian in such a childish manner. Ye Fu Yi didn't look like the Ye Fu Yi Su Fengmian knew all day long. He seemed very happy.

The kind that is different from usual, the real joy of putting down your guard.

"I've already washed it, don't worry." Su Fengmian's tone was dry, as if chewing wax, "Then, I won't bother you, are you still busy?"

"I'm done with my work during the day. After a while, I'll go to bed after dinner. You should also go to bed earlier."

"OK, bye."

"Well, goodbye, you hang up first."

The more enthusiastic Ye Fu Yi was, the more Su Fengmian understood that Ye Fu Yi was lying.

He hung up the phone and didn't know what to do in front of the huge wardrobe, so he could only lean on the side of the bed, burying his head in the flat quilt, a kind of great sadness overflowed from his heart, but it was not enough to cry the point.

Su Fengmian thought before that if he was with someone he didn't love that much, or with someone he liked but couldn't talk about love, it wouldn't be a big deal to live his whole life.

This proposition, in fact, still holds true today.

He knew that Ye Fuyi had concealed a lot of things, and he was unwilling to explore. Same-sex love without marriage itself is just empty words. To what extent it can get along, just go with the flow. If you can't go on, just go Let it go.

Although, Ye Fu Yi can be regarded as his serious middle-aged and first love, and he is a person who has spent a lot of energy to maintain the relationship.

But when Ji Zhifei appeared, Su Fengmian didn't even know how to face Ye Fuyi, he didn't dare to blame or ask Ye Fuyi, because he himself was not loyal.

The more Su Fengmian thought about it, the more tired he felt, as if he was walking in the water all the time, and the speed could not be raised, the resistance of the water was too great, he was not a fish, he knew that he could not handle the reality and the ideal like a fish in water.

Su Fengmian moved back to his own home, this move has no other meaning, he just wants to move back, he wants to take care of Su Luoqi.

At night, when he was lying on the bed, the pale light of the mobile phone made Su Fengmian feel even more depressed.

He still sent a text message to Ye Fu Yi in the middle of the night, saying that he would move out for the time being, and did not mention Ye Fu Yi's luggage.

"Your student is more important. You can move back after he recovers." Ye Fuyi didn't sleep, so he called him soon, "I haven't slept yet."

Su Fengmian tried his best to endure the questioning, but he became angry inexplicably. He didn't know whether it was because of Ye Fu Yi's concealment or his own weakness.

He contradicted in a low voice to the phone: "I don't want to move back."

Ye Fu Yi was silent for a while, this few seconds of silence was a bit lengthy in the night, he seemed to be stumped.

Hearing the sound of electric current, Su Fengmian became anxious, but still couldn't help explaining: "I didn't mean that, I meant..." Su Fengmian touched his forehead and wiped his eyes.

"I mean, I'm just not in a good state, and I don't mean to be angry with you." His tone was lower than when he was angry just now.

After hearing this, Ye Fu Yi didn't blame him, coaxed him a few words, and talked about unimportant words, Su Fengmian responded with a distracted heart.

"If you're tired, go to bed early. Good night." Ye Fuyi said on the phone at the right time.

"Good night."

"I love you."

This sentence had penetrating power, mixed with the electric current, it reached Su Fengmian's ears. Su Fengmian was sleepy, and it was almost the first time that he heard Ye Fuyi say that he loved himself, but he hung up the phone just after Ye Fuyi finished speaking. up.

He pulled the pillow, and was so silent that he almost wanted to cry. The sour feeling was swallowed by him and locked in his throat. This night is always long, and this feeling is always long, so long that he can't believe himself , Hearing the long-awaited "I love you", his first reaction was to hope that the other party was just coaxing him and not coming for real.