Cloudy but no rain

Su Fengmian sat beside her mother's bed, silently looking at the old man who had brought her into the world and accompanied her for 40 years, and looked at her dyed black hair, without any gray, but with wrinkles on her face Still showing her age.

He always felt as if his life was nothing more than a play for dozens of years, and the performers would always have their end.

He didn't know how long his mother's body could last.

According to the doctor's words, her organs were gradually failing, and she had more and more complications after cerebral hemorrhage.

It has been a week since Su Fengmian came back to take care of her.

Only on the first day, my mother could have a simple conversation with him and eat a little food. In the remaining days, her health went from bad to worse. Until now, she has been unable to speak, and speaking will be very difficult and tiring.

In the morning, she was discharged from the hospital and returned home, only relying on a bottle of oxygen bottle brought by the hospital and simple glucose suspension water to support her life-she even had difficulty breathing on her own.

Su Fengmian didn't intend to let his mother be discharged from the hospital, but wanted her to spend her last days in the hospital, so that her life might last a few more days.

But this morning, when Su Fengmian returned to the hospital, he found that his mother was not asleep, but unexpectedly awake.

After she saw Su Fengmian, she even said a word.

She said she wanted to go home, Su Fengmian agreed and took her home.

This house is the place where Su Fengmian grew up, the first phase of the old residential building.

After work, Su Fengmian bought a new house in this city and seldom came here.

Before I went to the north, I only came here to see my mother during the holidays, and I probably won't come here again.

Seeing his mother talking this morning, Su Fengmian knew that this was a flashback, the last hormones and energy released after the cells in the body were about to die, making people breathe one last breath.

"anyone there?"

At noon, Su Fengmian heard someone knocking on the door, he went to open the door, Wen Nan stood at the door with a sullen expression on his face.

"Why didn't you tell me when you took your mother out of the hospital?!" Wen Nan entered the room, took off his coat and threw it on the sofa, "I kept watch for you all night last night, you are fine, I just left, You just took her out of the hospital without saying a word, and you didn't listen to your phone, do you know that I am very worried!"

When Su Fengmian heard Wen Nan talking to him angrily, it almost went in from one ear to the other, and there was no disturbance in his heart. He stood by the door like a log. After Wen Nan came in, he didn't even close the door.

"You're talking..." Wen Nan turned around and fell silent. She saw Su Fengmian standing there disoriented, and her heart skipped a beat, "That, isn't it, already gone?"

Su Fengmian seemed to be very sensitive to these two words, he turned his face away, nodded, and responded with an "um".

"I... I'm sorry." Wen Nan walked to him, closed the door gently, and said in a deep voice, "When did you leave?"

"One and a half hours ago, I found that the number on the oxygen tank stopped jumping, so I knew she was gone." Su Fengmian's voice was like the cold wind in winter without any temperature, but it was not hysterical, just like stagnant water, without ups and downs.

After all, he went back to the bedroom and stayed beside his mother's bed as usual.

Wen Nan didn't say a word, she didn't go to see Su Fengmian's mother, she didn't dare.

She just sat on the sofa, looking at the coffee table in front of the sofa in a daze.

The cups on the coffee table were from a week ago. She never expected that it would be so easy and sudden for someone to leave the tea to cool down.

After a few minutes, Wen Nan asked: "Your friend, does he know?"

When Su Fengmian heard this, he woke up a little bit, and after he woke up, he felt a twinge of pain in his heart.

Fortunately, Wen Nan didn't ask any more questions.

"Although, although I shouldn't be so ruthless, you should contact the funeral home as soon as possible." Wen Nan said softly, "Do you need my help?"

"No, I'll contact you now." Su Fengmian came out of the living room to find his phone, turned it on again, and the first thing that popped up was Ji Zhifei's call record, which he slid to delete without thinking, and at the same time deleted his phone number Blocked from WeChat——Before handling his mother's funeral, he didn't want to be disturbed by anyone, especially Ji Zhifei.

He was already in pain right now, the pain was just saturated, filling every crack and corner of his heart, so he didn't want to accept a little bit of torture to make him collapse.

He contacted the funeral home, and half an hour later, the car arrived. He watched his mother being covered with a white cloth and carried into the car; Wen Nan drove him to follow the car to the funeral home.

In fact, cremation of corpses is not complicated, and registration information is not difficult. All the procedures are very simple. Su Fengmian thought, probably because the funeral parlor does not want to add to the worries of the family members, so all procedures are very simple, let alone for a person who is no longer alive except for his son. For the widowed elderly who have no close relatives, her funeral is even easier.

"It's like this," the staff in charge of his mother's funeral said to Su Fengmian, "The deceased bought a tomb before he was alive. May I ask you whether you choose to bury it directly or take the urn back and bury it later? ?”

Su Fengmian didn't know that his mother bought him a tomb, he felt uncomfortable hearing it, and said, "Go to the burial directly."

"Okay, please sign first, and we will arrange personnel to accompany you to deal with it in the afternoon." The staff handed over a confirmation letter and a pen.

Wen Nan looked at him with some surprise. Generally speaking, family members would take the urn home to pay homage for a few days, but Su Fengmian directly chose to skip this step.

"Don't look at me," Su Fengmian noticed Wen Nan's gaze, and said to Wen Nan, "I'm just sad."

"Well... I know." Wen Nan suddenly understood, although she knew that Su Fengmian was just escaping - Su Fengmian was best at escaping, every time he encountered something that didn't go his way, he just wanted to hide. That's right, it's still the same when I grow up, it hasn't changed at all.

He hasn't come back to this hometown for many years, just to avoid his mother. According to him, he went to work in another city for a year more than ten years ago to hide from someone, and now he doesn't know what he wants to escape.

In short, this is his temper, Wen Nan knows that no one can persuade him.

Su Fengmian went to the cemetery in the afternoon, while Wen Nan went back to the city to pick up his son after school.

Before going in, Su Fengmian was very nervous, he knew that there would be not only his mother's tomb, but also his father's tomb here.

He had never visited his father's tomb since his burial.

Su Fengmian followed the staff to the monument that his mother bought, and saw that the tombstone of his father was next to it.

Only then did he know that his mother should have bought his own land when he buried his father.

Suddenly, Su Fengmian felt an unspeakable sourness in his heart, more sour than unripe plums, more astringent than unripe kiwi fruit.

People of the parents' generation seem to have started to plan the future of themselves and their partners little by little since they left their own homes, even planning for death.Regardless of life or death, they will choose to be together. Compared with the contemporary fast-food love, theirs can be regarded as real love, not just love.

He thought, what happened between him and Ji Zhifei last night, he was the only one who had the idea of ​​love, but he didn't know that Ji Zhifei was just lustful.

"Okay," the funeral home buried Su Fengmian's mother's urn, turned around and said to Su Fengmian as usual, "the days will get better."

Su Fengmian forced a smile, and they left, leaving Su Fengmian standing between the two tombstones alone.

He offered white chrysanthemums to both tombs, and weeded his father's tomb.

In fact, he was very sad, but he couldn't cry.

He knelt in front of his father's tombstone, unwilling to stand up for a long time, until it was getting late, and the gravekeeper came to persuade him to go home, saying that the cemetery would be closed today.

"Come back sometime," said the cemetery keeper, sighing softly, "The dead are gone forever, and they will be here forever. For the living, it is another kind of future."

Su Fengmian didn't want to leave at first, but after hearing this, he staggered to his feet and left here with heavy steps.

"Sorry, the number you dialed is turned off, please try again later..."

At six o'clock in the evening, Ji Zhifei was sitting in a taxi wearing earphones, heading towards the airport.

It was repeated over and over in his earphones, and he dialed it over and over again.

He called Su Fengmian from morning to night, but he didn't get through.

From the time when the user was busy at the beginning until the user turned off the phone, Ji Zhifei knew that Su Fengmian must have seen the call he made, but he didn't want to hear it, so he turned off the phone.

"I'm sorry, you..." Ji Zhifei was so impatient that he ran out of patience, and finally stopped calling.

He opened WeChat, and the homepage seemed to be bombarded with news—he just didn't process the information for half a day, and the messages would pile up into mountains.

These messages contained the words "Sorrow and Succeed" sent by a small number of people—everyone in the hospital who was familiar with him sent them to him.

He numbly opened one after another, eliminating those little red dots, not even bothering to thank you.

It wasn't until he clicked on Li Jinxiu's WeChat that Ji Zhifei felt something was wrong.

Li Jinxiu sent more than one message twelve hours ago, but when he clicked on it, the number in the little red dot next to the dialog box was one.

He glanced at the message sent by the other party.

"Hey, let me tell you something. Your girlfriend passed away. The case was just filed in our hospital. It's a matter of condolences."

He frowned, and after a few minutes, he suddenly realized that he knew the reason why Su Fengmian could not be contacted suddenly.

Su Fengmian must have read his mobile phone information, made a misunderstanding, and then ran away like a child.

For a while, he didn't know whether to cry or laugh, although more of it was anger and helplessness.

Ji Zhifei just wanted to find Su Fengmian and give him a good explanation, but this city is not small, and he had no idea where Su Fengmian was at all.

After knowing the reason for Su Fengmian's anger, he became even more anxious. He didn't want the step he took with great courage last night to be missed.

He immediately sent a WeChat message to Su Fengmian, and in the chat box with Su Fengmian, the background was Su Fengmian's photo.

He stared at the photo for a long time, and began to edit the message in the input box.

Ji Zhifei had never written so many words to a single person in WeChat. He took a deep breath, and after clicking send, his heart was still hanging in his throat, and he only saw a red exclamation mark next to the green conversation box. waited treacherously.

"Damn." He turned off the phone screen, couldn't help but cursed in a low voice, not Su Fengmian, but himself.

If he had explained his intentions to Su Fengmian after finishing the work last night, the matter would not have developed to this point strangely.

Obviously he said that he should always be young, why in love, he can't always be brave like a young man.