you are the star that fell into my eyes

At dinner time, Xie Nu and Xu Qiao knocked on the door of their room when they saw that Shi Chen and Luo Zhan had not moved.

With a sound of "click", the door opened, and Shi Chen and Luo Zhan walked out one after the other. The two of them didn't speak, but kept their faces sullen, as if there was some deep hatred.Xie Nu looked at the two of them, keenly aware of something unusual.

Coughing a little, breaking the atmosphere like dark clouds, he let Shi Chen and Xu Qiao go first, while he grabbed Luo Zhan and went to a small corner to understand the situation.

However, he never expected...

"Tell me again, where did you kiss?!" Xie Yuan was shocked, he just felt that he was struck by lightning, and he was burnt on the outside and tender on the inside, and he couldn't recover for a long time.

"Here, here, neck, chin... almost mouthed," Luo Zhan pointed to Xie Neng one by one.

"..."

Xie Nu slowly gave a thumbs up: "You...have the kind..."

"Damn! Who wants you to boast!" Luo Zhan roared.

"Then, where did you touch it?" Xie Nu continued to ask.

Luo Zhan was dissatisfied: "Why are you so gossip?"

"Boom!" Xie Nu slapped him and called out, "You gossip! I don't understand the situation!"

"Okay, okay, I say I say!"

After a lot of tossing, Luo Zhan told Xie Neng the rest of the situation, finally heaved a long sigh, squatted on the ground as if losing his soul, and murmured.

"I'm scared, thank you," Luo Zhan said softly, "I never thought we would get in touch so early, I thought I could control it, I thought I could wait until later, I thought..." Luo Zhan gritted his teeth , "It turns out that everything...is still not worth the little desire in my heart..."

Xie looked at Luo Zhan angrily, and there were thousands of jokes and ridicules in his heart, but he couldn't say them all, and he suddenly understood.

When you really like someone, you are afraid, humble, afraid of not being good enough, afraid of being a burden to him, hesitant and not knowing what to do, always feel that if you do something wrong, you will lose the whole world, just say One wrong word and you will be hated.

I am a flower that will wither when I see you, not because I don’t want to, but because I feel inferior.

As long as I face you, I will feel that I am not good enough. Even if I am good, I will feel that I am far behind you. It is not that you are good enough, but that you are unmatched and unattainable in my heart. .

But, because of this, it is also very brave to really like someone.

He was weathered and clumsy, and he stumbled and wanted to become better for him.Even if the chances are slim, even if you are too humble to hold your head up, even if you face all the impossible, you will pursue, long for, and fall into the dust, but you still want to bloom for him.

No?

In the vast sea of ​​people, you are unparalleled in my eyes.

You are incomparable, I love you so much.

So, I was also terrified.

"Tell me, what should I do..." Luo Zhan lamented.

Xie An thought for a while, and said objectively: "I think you're cold,"

"I think so too..."

After dinner, Shi Chen looked as usual, Luo Zhan relaxed slightly, but his eyes of gratitude kept sweeping Luo Zhan and Shi Chen, now even Xu Qiao, who had been wandering all the time, could see that there was something wrong with them, Luo Zhan was anxious He glared at Xie Ning several times, and at the last moment he coughed and called for the check, only then stopped Xie Ning's wonderful little eyes.

On the way back, Xie Nu hooked Luo Zhan's shoulder and walked ahead.

"I just said, it's okay."

Luo Zhan blushed: "Can you close your eyes, don't you know how strange it is?"

Xie patted Luo Zhan's chest muscles angrily: "Hey, these are not important, the important thing is that there is no problem with the time!"

Luo Zhan suddenly had a bold idea: "You said... would Shi Chen like me too?"

Xie Neng: "...I didn't see it."

Luo Zhan snapped his fingers and said, "Look, he wrote me a greeting card, let me live in his house, played basketball games together, had fights, let me hold clothes... and you also said that he is not afraid of anything. Protect me, no matter how I look at it, how do I feel that Shi Chen treats me..."

Xie raised his eyebrows angrily: "You have imagined it."

Luo Zhan: "..."

Xie Neng: "You won't be overly sensitive just because you like him."

Luo Zhan frowned, thanked and said objectively: "He is kind to you, maybe it's because you took him out of the gloomy days. People are always grateful to those who change themselves and make themselves better. You're saving him." ', so he'll be extraordinarily good to you."

"Is that so?" Luo Zhan suddenly felt that he was a love idiot.

Xie angrily nodded: "That's right. I told you a long time ago, he will always know, let you say, you are not, now you are fine, the time is so earth-shattering to know, although he seems indifferent, but in his heart Impossible without any toggle, nothing may be temporary, you can figure it out."

Luo Zhan shook: "... so scary."

Xie angrily shrugged: "I still say that, don't regret it."

Don't regret it, don't regret it, Luo Zhan wants to cry up to the sky, I regret it now! ! !

Back in the room, Luo Zhan threw himself on the bed, rolled up the quilt and kept his ears shut.

Obviously, he was evading. He had seriously thought about what Xie Nu said, but he still delayed it if he could, not to mention the time, even he himself was not ready.

Shi Chen didn't say anything. In the first half of the night, the communication between the two stopped at:

"I turned off the lights."

"Ah."

In the second half of the night, there was silence.

Luo Zhan turned over, but still couldn't fall asleep, he was prone to insomnia with things in his mind, but his mind was full of things.

After thinking twice, Luo Zhan tentatively said, "...time."

"...Well," Shi Chen made a hazy voice, indicating that he was listening.

Luo Zhan sat up in shock, turned his head and looked in the direction of the other bed in the darkness, he didn't sleep either? !

"Are you asleep?"

"No."

"Then do you want to sleep?"

"Ah."

"Then can I talk?"

"..."

Fuck!are you crazy!Luo Zhan rubbed his head for a while, why the hell should I ask some worthless questions? !It seems that I am very retarded!

After a while, Shi Chen said: "What do you want to say?"

Luo Zhan was brewing a few words in his mind, but the words were swallowed by his mouth, and he spit out: "Why didn't you sleep?"

To be honest, he didn't know what to say, he just felt that he needed to say something, otherwise the atmosphere would be awkward, until he went home, maybe it would be awkward when he went home.

Shi Chen closed his eyes and said in a low voice, "I was going to sleep, but I was woken up by you."

How about lying to ghosts, Luo Zhan habitually complained, want to sleep?They all lay down until two or three o'clock in the morning and didn't fall asleep.

Luo Zhan returned to the topic after complaining. After hesitating for a while, he asked, "You, what do you think?"

"What are you referring to?" Shi Chen asked.

"That's it..." Luo Zhan thought for a while, "I'm to you... um... boys to boys... um... gay!" The final word was finalized.

Shi Chen seemed to be choked, and coughed a few times while clutching the quilt.Luo Zhan suddenly felt like his heart was being grabbed, and with the sounds of Shi Shi, it went up and down, and the tension was accompanied by entanglement.

What do you mean... Luo Zhan felt a little stupid for the first time.

With a sound of "Pa!", the room suddenly lit up, and Shi Chen turned on the light.

Luo Zhan covered his eyes, the sudden brightness made him feel uncomfortable for a moment.

Shi Chen sat up from the bed, looking at Luo Zhan, he suddenly wanted to laugh.On the other bed, Luo Zhan hugged the quilt and curled up. The 1.9-meter-old boy shrank into a small ball and nestled in a corner of the bed. He was weak, pitiful, and helpless.

Shi Chen sighed: "Why don't you sit down first, so you don't get bored to death."

Luo Zhan moved when he heard the words, and stretched his body like a flower slowly opening. He raised his head, but he seemed to be crying when he was laughing. With his slender and strong body, it was a bit funny.

Shi Chen didn't know whether to laugh or cry, could it be...

"What do you want me to say?" Shi Chen asked.

Luo Zhan covered the squad leader's face with the quilt, only his eyes were exposed, and his eyes were bright: "The view on homosexuality."

Shi Chen looked at Luo Zhan fixedly: "Is it your opinion on homosexuality, or... your opinion?"

Shi Chen's eyes are too sharp, like a sword that can penetrate everything, Luo Zhan only felt that his gaze at Shi Chen was flawed, and he replied dryly: "It's all the same... right..."

Shi Chen smiled very faintly: "So, you are gay?"

Luo Zhan quickly waved his hand: "No, no!"

Shi Chen watched him not speak, and Luo Zhan was stared at with hairs. He swallowed and said, "I'm not... I'm just, just..."

"I like me," Shi Chen said for him, hitting the nail on the head, but Luo Zhan's tone was unexpectedly calm.

Luo Zhan was stunned. Suddenly, Luo Zhan, who hadn't blushed for a long time, turned red like an apple. He faltered for a long time and couldn't utter a word. Finally, he just threw himself into the bed, like a short-necked ostrich. .

Shi Chen: "..." Why did I suddenly feel guilty about being exposed.

After a long while, Luo Zhan muffled his voice: "Can you...be more tactful..."

Shi Chen: "... next time."

Absolutely no next time!Luo Zhan swore viciously in his heart.

After tossing for a long time, Luo Zhan sat up with a blushing face until he was almost out of breath.

"Just tell me what you think," Luo Zhan smashed the jar, fell back, lay down from the head of the bed to the end of the bed, stretched all over, waiting for the "sentence" of the time.

Shi Chen's eyes moved slightly, he lowered his eyes to look at his exposed hands, and murmured, "I don't discriminate against homosexuals."

Luo Zhan's face returned to normal, and he listened carefully.

Shi Chen turned his head, but he didn't know whether he was looking at Luo Zhan or the glass door behind him.

"They're human too, nothing different."

Luo Zhan widened his eyes.Shi Chen continued: "I don't think it's a crime to like someone of the same sex. Although there is no law in this country to protect their marriage, they are still citizens of this country. They bathe in the sun, live normally, and be themselves. Likes or dislikes. Because the proportion is small, they will be special, but they will never be 'sick' and 'different'."

"Love has nothing to do with gender. What deserves love is the heart that dares to love."

"Life is so short, it is not easy to meet someone you like. If you still have to struggle with whether you are a man or a woman, then Qi is not in vain wasting your initial throbbing heart."

Luo Zhan was shocked, he stared blankly at Shi Chen.

The night was extraordinarily long, and the light yellow light shone from above the head, casting the upper half of the boy's face in the shadows. The warm light made his face soft, with indescribable tenderness and affection.

"What's wrong?" Seeing him looking at him in a daze, Shi Chen asked.

Luo Zhan smiled brightly: "No, I just didn't expect Shi Chen to say that."

"It's just my opinion," Shi Chen said.

"You haven't said what you think of me!" Luo Zhan suddenly remembered, and he asked eagerly, "You already know what I mean, why can you still chat with me so calmly?"

Luo Zhan suddenly stopped, and became serious: "Wait, wait, don't say it first, let me put it another way."

He grabbed the quilt tightly, took a few deep breaths, his face was full of tension.

"Student Shi Chen, may I ask, will you accept it? Accept the love expressed to you by a boy who is not handsome but not bad."

The dim light prolongs the time, Luo Zhan's hoarse and soft voice echoed in Shi Chen's mind, a moment of struggle flashed in Shi Chen's eyes, and he emptied himself at that moment.

The person you like also likes you, which should be the best thing.With apprehension and uneasiness, he holds his clean heart in front of you, without asking for anything in return, without asking for anything, just asking you, do you accept it?

Such a hard-won relationship, if he accepts it, he will cherish it even more.

However, Shi Chen felt sore, can I accept it?

Luo Zhan looked at Shi Chen's slightly lowered profile, and the melancholy enveloped the young man. Luo Zhan's heart twitched. The longer he waited, the more uneasy he became.

Finally, Shi Chen retracted his fingers and said in a low voice: "...Sorry."

At that moment, the world was wiped out.

Just like rejecting Fei Fei, the word "sorry" seemed to have the power to destroy all the expectations, and suddenly shattered all expectations of Luo Zhan. His self-righteousness and unconstrained guesses were all shattered in the voice of time, and he fell into the darkness. Isolate and helpless, the chill like cold iron reaches the bottom of my heart.

He's not a girl, and he didn't want to entangle her. He withdrew his head resolutely, but couldn't control it, and said tremblingly, "...I, I see..."

Shi Chen's hand tightened suddenly, and he heard... the sound of heartbreaking.

The room was silent, the lights were no longer bright, it engulfed them like an abyss.When did the depressive, dull atmosphere appear between them.

"I suddenly felt that I was hypocritical," Luo Zhan closed his eyes, and said with a half-smile, "Even if I was rejected, I still want to know the reason."

He turned his head, his eyes were reddish, he pulled the corners of his mouth, and asked with a forced smile.

"Can you tell me?"

Shi Chen suddenly didn't dare to look directly at Luo Zhan, he was afraid of seeing his disappointed expression, like the unbearable pain of life.Luo Zhan was like a needle piercing his body, as long as he trembled slightly, his heart would be pierced to the bone.

Luo Zhan fell into a long wait, he didn't know if Shichen would explain, Shichen just sat on the other bed like that, they were only two meters apart, but he knew that he would never be able to hug him as usual again.

"Luo Zhan," Shi Chen suddenly said, turning his face sideways.Luo Zhan saw it, and felt bitter in his heart, don't you even want to look at me?

"I can accept it, but I can't respond to your feelings," Shi Chen said softly, "My heart is on you, I can't stop your liking, and I can't stop any of your feelings, but I won't respond to you, nor can I I will promise you."

"I like you, and it has nothing to do with you. Is that what you mean?" Luo Zhan sneered and said mockingly.

no!Shi Chen really wanted to shout out that since he knew that Luo Zhan liked him, his world was extremely gorgeous, and everything in the past was worth it. He really wanted to hug Luo Zhan tightly and let the scorching temperature dance in his heart forever.But reality always blocked the road, forcing him to give up.

"Are you rejecting me because you don't like me, or because you don't accept homosexuality?" Luo Zhan asked again.

"I..." Shi Chen opened his mouth, but he couldn't answer, his answer wasn't here.

"Neither of them." After some consideration, Shi Chen finally chose to confess. Since he decided to give up, it's okay to let him know, at least let him know that he is not a humble crush.

"I like you, like you like you wish, no less than you like me," Shi Chen said solemnly.Only Luo Zhan is forever in his heart. If he can keep the last goodness, then he is willing to admit it at this moment.

Luo Zhan was stunned for a moment, and he opened his mouth dumbly, as if his body was no longer his own: "You, you say, say..."

Under Luo Zhan's dazed gaze, Shi Chen nodded heavily.

Instant shock and surprise broke through his head, "You like me! It turns out that you like me at Shichen!" Luo Zhan almost exclaimed, he covered his mouth violently, and his beating heart told him that this was not a dream.It is the rest of the life after a catastrophe, it is the spring of a dead tree, and the nectar of a long drought. It turns out that sometimes, just one sentence can overcome countless people in the world.

"Then why can't you accept it?" Luo Zhan didn't understand, since he liked it, why didn't he take a gamble.

Shi Chen shook his head, his helplessness and worry were seen by Luo Zhan, Luo Zhan couldn't smile anymore, he had a very bad premonition. "Like" became heavy, hitting the softest place in my heart.

"I can't accept it, because you, Luo Zhan, don't you know where you are? You will inherit your father's company in the future. How many eyes will be staring at you at that time, and how much your every move will affect you?" Do you know? Have you thought about it? I don’t discriminate against or oppose homosexuality, but that doesn’t mean everyone doesn’t discriminate against or oppose it. How far can homosexuality go in this country and society? They can’t even declare happiness openly !" Shi Chen's emotions were a little intense, as if he wanted to pour it all out in one breath.

"So, Luo Zhan, don't expect anything more, we, it's impossible," Shi Chen almost gritted his teeth and said this sentence, every time he said a word, his heart hurt a little, until the final tear Broken, heartbroken.

His eyes suddenly became sour, and tears gushed out. Luo Zhan was stunned for a moment, then stretched out his hands to cover his face, warm tears silently overflowed from between his fingers, and dripped on the quilt, one drop or two...

My boy, you have perfect thin lips. You can speak the most beautiful language in the world, but you utter the cruelest words.

Heaven and hell, but between your words.

You know me, my heart is pierced like a knife?

Luo Zhan bit it desperately to keep his crying from coming out, as if this could maintain his remaining dignity.

Shi Chen turned off the light, turned over and lay down on the bed, wrapped himself in a quilt from head to toe.

His heart has been cracked into pieces, he is not strong enough, unable to be calm, unable to be indifferent, he obviously likes it so much, but he can only refuse by gritting his teeth.

Rejecting is far more difficult than agreeing. In any case, the person who refuses will have a sense of guilt. It will erode your thinking and make you bear a burden, a burden that you can do but don't do.

However, if you don't refuse, I can't imagine how many hardships and hardships there will be in the future. I can only protect you like this.

Luo Zhan, I see your heart, but I can't hold it...

Actually, "I'm sorry" should be me.

Under the quilt, Shi Chen's eyes were red.

After persisting for a long time, he finally burst into tears.

The author has something to say: Shichen's point of view is my point of view, yeah!

I am a sweet text writer, currently yes, self-awareness is also yes, um, just sauce!

(hope no typo :p)