shadow in daylight gl

The light in the living room was soft, and the child who had been extremely excited playing on the grass just now fell asleep in An Huaixu's arms. His chubby cheeks were white and soft, his long eyelashes drooped, and his small mouth moved slightly from time to time.

An Huaixu watched the child laugh, and patted the child on the back lightly, lest he would not sleep well.

She pushed open the door, and Aunt Wang had already returned from shopping and was busy preparing dinner in the kitchen.

"Are you back?" Aunt Wang put down the food in her hand and was going to help her hold the baby.

"Go ahead, Yu'an is asleep, I'll just hug him to the sofa."

An Huaixu covered the child with a thin blanket, took out a wet towel to wipe the soft palms and fingers of the child, Aunt Wang poured her a glass of warm water, looked at Lu Yu'an's flushed little face, and smiled lovingly: "Yu'an Are you going out to play with toy cars again?"

An Huaixu frowned slightly: "I fell asleep just now, and he sneaked out."

Aunt Wang's expression changed, "He..."

An Huaixu leaned over and kissed Lu Yu'an on the cheek: "It's my fault, he fell asleep on the sofa, and he wanted to go out to play but couldn't bear to wake me up."

Aunt Wang touched the child's hand distressedly, and sighed almost inaudibly. It has been almost two years since she came to Lanting Villa to take care of Lu Yu'an. An Huaixu has no other relatives around her, only a few friends who often bring gifts To see the child, a young mother, even if the living conditions are good, it is still too hard to take care of the child alone.

Later, she learned from An Huaixu's friends that the other mother of the child had passed away in a car accident. An Huaixu had a deep conflict with the family, and they have not been in contact with each other since then.Fortunately, Lu Yu'an was cute, much smarter than ordinary children, and had a sweet mouth, which gave An Huaixu a lot of comfort.

An Huaixu took care of Lu Yu'an for a while, and then walked into the kitchen to help Aunt Wang choose dishes.

"Huai Xu, Yu'an is already three years old, and you still have to work at the law firm. After all, the child needs someone to accompany him." Aunt Wang sighed, and said slowly, "Fortunately, it's okay like today, just in case... "..."

An Huaixu's face turned pale, and she looked nervously at the sofa. She was not worried, but even when she was angry with Lu Yu'an, she only softened her heart.

When Yi Ziyue accompanied her to do test-tube babies, she only wanted a child like Lu Linzhong, so she chose a little boy.When the child was just born, it was white and clean, with a clear outline, and Lu Linzhong's shadow could be vaguely seen. She hugged the child like a lost and recovered treasure.

Seeing the loose expression on her face, Aunt Wang continued: "It's not a bad thing for a few more people to accompany the child to grow up."

The corners of An Huaixu's mouth were forced to bend, he put down the beans in his hand, nodded at Aunt Wang and said, "I'm going upstairs, Yu'an wakes up later and you call me."

Aunt Wang nodded and watched An Huaixu walk into the master bedroom on the second floor with a blank expression.Since she came to this house for so long, the door of that bedroom was always closed, and An Huaixu often went in alone after Lu Yuan fell asleep, staying for half a day, sometimes overnight.

Aunt Wang subconsciously looked at a few photos in the living room. The people in the photos had stretched facial features and bright smiles. They were prettier than many celebrities she had seen on TV. Lu Yuan's beautiful eyes were inherited from the photos. these eyes.

She remembered that when Lu Yu'an was just able to speak, An Huaixu still held Lu Yu'an and pointed to the photo on the wall, and said softly, "Yu'an, this is your mommy." The child obediently called "Mommy" to the photo. ", An Huaixu kissed the child, which was obviously something to be happy about, but An Huaixu cried.

Perhaps, because this person is gone, all An Huaixu's future happiness will be mixed with sadness.

The master bedroom on the second floor has been cleaned by An Huaixu himself, and the furnishings inside are still the same, except that there is an extra color photo, which is hung on the wall at the end of the bed.

An Huaixu looked greedily at the person in the photo, her thin lips moved: "Liu Liu, today Yu An asked me why you don't grow old."

The light in her pupils flickered, there were tears in her eyes, but the corners of her mouth were curved.

"He is very sensible and never asks where you have been."

"Today is Saturday. I went to the law firm to work overtime in the morning and came back to accompany him. Maybe I was too busy recently. I accidentally fell asleep on the sofa. He didn't want to disturb my rest, so he ran out of the house by himself."

"Not only does he look like you, he is also as considerate as you..." An Huaixu wiped the tears from the corners of his eyes, "I always feel that I don't have enough time with him. Take care of him."

There was only silence in the room that responded to her. She curled her legs and sat against the head of the bed for a long time.

What would life be like if Lu Linzhong hadn't left her?

Maybe they will have children later, so that they can spend more time together.

I don't know if Lu Lin Zhongxi likes little boys, or he will tell his wife with a smile like other ordinary partners, that liking children has nothing to do with gender, because it is the continuation of the life of the loved one.

They can go to the maternity and baby products store together, choose the baby's small clothes, small socks, and cute feeding bottles, waiting for the arrival of the new life with anticipation.

I don't know if Lu Linzhong has ever hugged a child. She shouldn't be as comfortable with such a complicated matter as taking care of a child. She can take this opportunity to tease Lu Linzhong that he can't hold a child.

Together, they watched their children grow up day by day. On weekends, they took their children to the park, to the lake, to the shopping mall, to the cinema, and they would do all the usual things that a family of three could do together.

However, Lu Linzhong was gone, and she could only accompany Lu Yu'an alone.

The sky outside the window had already darkened. An Huaixu collected his thoughts and opened the door of the master bedroom. The child who was squatting at the door and playing by himself quickly trotted over and hugged her leg: "Mom, mom is finally out."

An Huaixu's heart softened, and he squatted down and hugged the child: "Honey, how long have you been waiting for me here?"

Lu Yu'an blinked: "Just for a while."

An Huaixu looked over to the dining room. Aunt Wang put the dinner on the table and said nervously, "I didn't even notice when he got off the sofa by himself."

An Huaixu's smile froze, the boy was getting bigger and bigger, and it was indeed more difficult to manage than before.

Lu Yu'an hugged her and refused to let go, so she could only carry the child downstairs and walk into the restaurant.

An Huaixu fed the child and finally put the fussy child to sleep. It was past eleven o'clock in the evening. She turned off the light in the bedroom and sat back in the living room without any sleepiness.

Before Lu Yuan was born, the living room remained the same. In the past two years, there were many children’s toys in the living room. She was also worried that Lu Yuan might accidentally damage the things left by Lu Linzhong because of her naughtiness, so she gradually took back some of the photo ornaments. master bedroom.

She did her best to give Lu Linzhong a family member, but as time passed, she felt that Lu Linzhong was getting farther and farther away from her.

The sky outside the window was dark, An Huaixu reached for the red wine glass under the coffee table, struggled and put it down again, she still couldn't be too willful.

One day in late May, when she came home from get off work as usual, Lu Yuan opened the door and ran towards her with a birthday hat in her hand: "Happy birthday, mom."

Birthday.

After Lu Linzhong left, she never celebrated her birthday again. This year is the fourth year.While An Huaixu was still dazed, Lu Yu'an had already put on her birthday hat on tiptoe.

"Huai Xu, happy birthday." The voices of Meng Qiu and Xu Zhongxuan came from the kitchen, and there were cakes and various dishes on the table.

An Huaixu smiled at them, and Lu Yu'an dragged her to the sofa. The baby on the sofa was covered with a soft blanket, and looked cute and cute when she was sleeping.

"Look, mom, sister."

The "sister" that Lu Yu'an referred to was Xu Nianqi, the daughter of Xu Zhongxuan and Meng Qiu, whose nickname was Niannian.He leaned over and lowered his head to plant a kiss on Niannian's cheek, the slyness of his smile reminded An Huaixu of Lu Linzhong.

An Huaixu pinched his face, and said patiently, "Yu'an, when you kiss my younger sister in the future, you have to ask my younger sister if she agrees, or ask Aunt Xu if she agrees."

"Why?" A pair of big eyes flickered, full of innocence.

"Because my sister is a little girl, she will be shy."

"Mom is a big girl, I kiss mom, is mom shy?"

The child's words were not taboo, and An Huaixu didn't know how to answer the child's question for a moment.

Meng Qiu came out of the kitchen with a freshly made egg tart, "We, Yu'an, really know how to make people happy, to say that mom is a big girl."

The kid who was praised soon forgot the doubts in his heart, and followed Xu Zhongxuan and Meng Qiu to have fun in the kitchen.

An Huaixu sat quietly in the living room, looking at the kitchen wistfully, the same place, the same light, but different people standing, but she still clearly remembered the first time she and Lu Linzhong were busy in this kitchen .

"Huai Xu, it's time to eat."

An Huaixu hid the dismay in her eyes, and smiled at the people in the restaurant. Anyway, today is her birthday.

After dinner, the night was getting darker, Xu Zhongxuan and Meng Qiu chatted with An Huaixu for a while, and were about to leave.

An Huaixu knew that Lu Yu'an was reluctant to miss it, so he led Lu Yu'an to the front of the courtyard, and said softly, "Do you want to go to Aunt Xu's house to accompany your sister?"

Lu Yu'an nodded, and An Huaixu patted his head: "Then go, I'll pick you up tomorrow."

Lu Yu'an walked two steps and then turned around, stood beside the car and waved to her: "Mom, happy birthday."

An Huaixu watched the car drive away from Lanting Famous Villa with gentle eyes, walked back to the house with a sad expression, picked up the red wine on the wine rack, and poured half a glass.

The wine entered her throat, and there was a lingering sweet taste on the tip of her tongue. This night should belong to her and Lu Linzhong.

How long has it been since she dreamed of Lu Linzhong?

But she was afraid of dreaming of Lu Linzhong, but she also looked forward to dreaming of Lu Linzhong.

Everyone told her that time had passed, and it was time to let go of the past slowly.If she also gave up and let go of her lover, who else will remember, who will miss?

An Huaixu stood in front of the floor-to-ceiling windows. Lu Linzhong used to sit here and read a book on the lounge chair. In their ordinary and inconspicuous daily life, time passed in a flash.

Now this corner remains the same, but An Huaixu placed a photo of Lu Linzhong in the built-in bookcase on the wall.

"Liu Liu, today is my 30th birthday." She leaned over and put the red wine glass on the side table, her eyes were misty and misty.

"Do you want to hear me play the violin? It's been a long time since I played the violin. I'm a freshman. Don't laugh at me."

An Huaixu took out the violin case from the master bedroom and slowly opened it. The violin inside was still the one given to her by Lu Linzhong. The surface of the violin is still smooth after many years.

She put the violin on her neck, closed her eyes slightly, and slowly pulled the bow, and the clear and sad music flowed from the strings.

Lu Yu'an held the doorknob on tiptoe, staring blankly at An Huaixu's back.He had already left with Xu Zhongxuan, but as soon as the car left the community, he felt more and more reluctant, so he clamored to come back to accompany his mother.

He never knew that his mother could play the violin, and his mother was so beautiful when she played the violin.

Why is mom so sad?

"Lin Zhong, from today onwards, I will be as old as you."

"In another year, I will be older than you."

Who is mom talking to?The photo in front of mom is of mommy.

The mommy he had only seen in photos since he was born.She is very beautiful, even more beautiful than Aunt Xu, especially her eyes.No one had ever told him, but he had sensed early on that Mommy was the person Mommy loved the most.

He remembered that his mother always smiled at him gently, and he also remembered that occasionally when he woke up, his mother sat motionless beside him, looking at the picture of his mother with an expression he couldn't understand.

Lu Yu'an pushed open the door sadly, ran behind An Huaixu with short legs, and looked at her with wide eyes: "Mom, I'm back to accompany you."

An Huaixu put down the piano and looked at the child in amazement. Xu Zhongxuan and Meng Qiu stood at the door and waved at her. They were the only two left in the room.

She held the child on her lap and her nose was slightly sore, feeling sad, gratified, fortunate, and regretful...

She looked at Lu Linzhong's portrait and murmured: Liuliu, look at how sensible our baby is, if you have a chance to hug him, that would be great.

Lu Yu'an hugged An Huaixu tightly: "Is Mommy missing Mommy?"

"Yes." She sniffed and tried to smile at the child.

"Then Mommy must be thinking of you too."

An Huaixu kissed Lu Yu'an's forehead, Liuliu, do you really miss me too?The tears in her eyes dripped uncontrollably for a moment, and fell on the back of the child's hand.

Lu Yu'an hastily wiped away the tears on her cheeks: "The teacher in the kindergarten said that you are not allowed to cry on your birthday. Mom, stop crying."

"Well, good. I have Yu'an to accompany me."

For a while, the previously ignorant feeling became clear. He knew that Mommy would not come back again, just like a little rabbit he had raised in the kindergarten. He never ate the carrots he fed.

It wasn't until later that he realized that this kind of departure was death.

Life is pushed forward by time, after that night, An Huaixu put away the photo of Lu Linzhong in the living room, leaving only the one in the bookcase in the living room.

Thinking of the past, she couldn't let go, couldn't control her sadness, but she didn't want to be seen by Lu Yu'an.

Lu Yu'an is smarter than his age, and more sensitive.

She decided to have this child before, not because she wanted him to face the pain of life constantly like herself.She should be a better mother and give him more warmth and love.

Before the Double Ninth Festival, An Huaixu went to the kindergarten to pick up Lu Yu'an from school. The child took her for a walk by the lake, and suddenly raised his head and asked, "Mom, other children have grandparents, do I have them too?"

An Huaixu stopped in his tracks, the surface of the lake shimmering under the clear autumn sun was a bit dazzling.

She stood there for a few seconds, squatted down and looked at him at the same level: "Yes, if you want, you can go and play with them."

"Really?" The child's eyes absorbed the surrounding sunlight and became shiny.

"Yeah." An Huaixu replied lightly.

The child jumped up for joy, and that night An Huaixu sat in the living room and dialed An Chengyan's phone number. This was the first time she called home in the past few years.

On the other end of the phone, An Chengyan saw the caller on the phone and almost thought he was old and dim.

"Wrong number? Could something have happened?!" An Chengyan murmured while holding the phone, but Jiang Mu gave her a glare. She complained, "What are you talking about! Pick it up quickly!"

"Xiao Xu?"

An Huaixu took a deep breath and said after a while, "Are you busy on weekends?"

"No busy no busy!"

"Yu'an said he wanted to see grandpa and grandma."

There was a pause on the other end of the phone for quite a while before An Huaixu heard An Cheng say excitedly: "Okay, okay, then I'll pick him up on Saturday."

"Xiao Xu, it's been so long—"

Before he finished talking on the other end of the phone, An Huaixu cut off the phone expressionlessly.

In the past few years, she Ruyan has never returned home. In the past, there was only a gap between her and her parents, but now it is a gully that cannot be bridged.

She knew that her parents also cherished Lu Yu'an very much. When the child was born, they stayed outside the ward. Every once in a while, they sent people to send various things for the child, but she sent them back as they were.

But now, she gradually felt that her grievances to her parents shouldn't have caused Lu Yu'an to lose part of her family affection. She didn't feel relieved, but just let the child make a choice.

On Saturday morning, An Chengyan's car parked in front of the building early in the morning, and the elder's excited mood was already louder than words.

An Huaixu tidied up Lu Yuan's clothes and toys in an orderly manner. The child was very excited, and kept asking around her: "Is grandpa here? Is he fierce? Will he like me?"

An Huaixu responded lightly: "En."

"Mom, is that grandma in the car?"

An Huaixu didn't look up: "Yes."

Things were packed quickly, An Huaixu sent his son to the door, knelt down and straightened his collar: "Be polite, listen to your elders, and call me if you need anything."

He nodded obediently, "won't mom go with me?"

An Huaixu's eyes darkened: "Well, if Yu'an goes alone, will he be afraid?"

"Not afraid."

An Huaixu stretched out his hand to scratch the tip of his nose, and Lu Yu'an kissed her cheek reluctantly.

An Huaixu hung the small schoolbag on his son's shoulders: "There are your clothes and toys inside, go."

An Chengyan walked up to the steps, looked at Lu Yu'an lovingly, heard what An Huaixu said to the child, couldn't help but said: "There are all these families, Xiao Xu, come home with me."

An Huaixu avoided his father's gaze, and just patted his son's head: "Yu'an, call someone."

"Grandpa."

The child's voice was soft and waxy, and it hit the softest part of An Chengyan's heart for a moment. Time passes quickly, and time always leaves traces on a person's body.

An Chengyan stretched out his hand to Lu Yu'an, but he trembled a little: "Come, let grandpa hug me."

An Huaixu turned and entered the room, closing the door behind him.

The distance between a door is obviously very close, but it cannot be crossed.

Many years later, the distance between her and her family is still insurmountable.

Lu Yu'an was particularly impressed when he went to his grandparents' house for the first time. Apart from his grandparents, there were four other elderly people, all of whom were his great-grandfathers.

Grandpa and grandma prepared many toys for him, and they accompanied him to play racing cars by the Silver Lake. They were very happy. They walked along the lake to the end of the community, only to realize that the place where they lived was not far from grandpa and grandma's house.

Since it's so close, why didn't mom bring him here?

Since his mother allowed him to play with his grandparents, why didn't she come?

He didn't understand the answers to these questions, but he didn't ask them in a sensible way. The company and love of his elders made him feel extremely happy, but he most wanted to share his happiness with his mother.

On Sunday afternoon, Lu Yu'an was sent back to Lanting Villa, and when he got home, he surrounded An Huaixu and told him how nice Jiang Mu and An Chengyan were to him.

An Huaixu just raised his hand to touch his head, and slightly bent the corners of his lips towards him.

The child's emotions are inherently sensitive, and his mother seems to be unhappy.

He climbed onto An Huaixu's lap, begging for a hug: "Mom is unhappy?"

An Huaixu paused in touching the child, and couldn't help laughing.

Lu Yu'an circled her neck: "Because I didn't play with my mother?"

"No..." The child's innocence easily made her laugh.

But her smile is also like the white snow on the branch, it will fall when touched lightly.

As Lu Yu'an grew up slowly, he could gradually see the melancholy in An Huaixu's misty eyes.Years and days, when she was alone, or when she stared at the picture of Mommy on the wall, nothing changed.

Only when he grew up did he realize that it turned out that it was an ocean of longing that could not be dispelled.

As time goes by, the thoughts get deeper.

When Lu Yu'an was eight years old, he came back from the Yunshan villa area with a safety talisman on his neck.

An Huaixu held the uniquely shaped talisman paper, and thought: "Who gave it to you? Grandma?"

The child nodded, half understanding: "Grandma said to wear it all the time."

She felt deeply in her heart, thinking of the fragmented safety talisman in the safe, some things were like omens, the talisman was broken when the person left.

Even if she reassembled the broken pieces, her lover no longer knows where his soul is...

"What else did grandma tell you?" An Huaixu put his hand on Lu Yu'an's shoulder. The child grows up fast. At only eight years old, he is already exceptionally handsome, with well-proportioned limbs and fair skin, but his demeanor is a bit in line with his age. Childish.

"She said, if I wear this amulet, Mommy can feel me, and I can see her in my dreams."

An Huaixu's heart trembled, and he caressed the peace amulet to travel far away.

She hasn't dreamed of Lu Linzhong for a long time, since Lu Linzhong just left, she has dreamed every night, and now it is only occasionally.In the dream, the face of the lover gradually blurred, far less clear than before.

An Huaixu walked back to the bedroom with a dejected expression, opened the safe, and stroked the lines on the box.

In the past, she only knew that grandma believed in religion, but she didn't take it seriously. As she got older, she became more in awe of things that she didn't take it seriously before, because her fate with Lu Linzhong was tightly bound by an old talisman.

Go back 30 years. If she hadn't gone to Manchester and rescued Lu Linzhong by coincidence when she was five years old, where would Lu Linzhong be?Will it be rescued by others?

If Lu Linzhong hadn't returned to China or worked in Xu Zhongxuan's company, would they have met?

If she hadn't boldly come together with Lu Linzhong, wouldn't Lu Linzhong have ended up...

The most wonderful, mysterious and unspeakable thing about life is that one thought and one action can change all future trajectories.

What is doomed in the dark is fate.

They are meant to be together.

An Huaixu dialed the phone number at home, and it was Jiang Mu who answered the phone.

The two were silent for a while, and the atmosphere became stiff.

After a while, Jiang Murou said: "Your father is not at home, I will tell him later."

"I'm looking for grandma."

"Okay." Jiang Mu's tone trembled slightly, he put down the receiver, and after a while the call was connected to the room.

An Huaixu's grandma just celebrated her 85th birthday last month. The old man's spirit is not as strong as before, but she still eats vegetarian food and worships Buddha as before.

"Xiaoman?" The childhood nickname made An Huaixu feel a little dazed.

"Grandma." She responded, and her tone softened, "Did you ask for Yu'an's peace talisman? Is it the same as the one I used to have?"

"I didn't ask for it. Master Dezheng personally came to give you a gift. He still remembers giving you the peace talisman and knows about it."

An Huaixu gripped the phone tightly, asked a few questions in a hurry, and hung up the phone.

Lu Linzhong's urn was placed on the shelf by the window, her eyes softened, she reached out to caress the ring on the side, her eyes were full of vicissitudes, as if she had traveled through time and the distance between life and death.

After a long time, she sighed sadly: "Six or six, ten years, we have been separated for ten years."

Lu Yu'an remembered that one afternoon not long after he put on the peace talisman given by his grandma, a master dressed unusually came to the house, with solemn and compassionate eyes, like a Buddha in a temple.

His mother had a long talk with him in the study, and he only remembered that when the master left, he took away the urn containing his mother. When her mother came out of the study, her face was pale, and there was a deep wound on her palm, and the blood was still wet.Mom didn't explain anything to him, just kowtowed to each other solemnly to thank him.

Although he didn't understand, he was obedient and did as he was told.

That afternoon, the sunset was gorgeous, and he remembered that his mother's pale face had a relieved smile that he had never seen before, full of hope, like a flower bud hanging on a branch looking forward to the first sun in the morning, like a long drought. The young wheat seedlings look forward to the first rain in early spring.

As time passed, he gradually heard some old things from his elders.

Although only a few words, he can already understand how much they loved each other before, and he can also understand why there is always an indelible melancholy in his mother's smile for so many years.

Two people who love each other deeply, one leaves first, and the other lives in this world, how much lovesickness the living will suffer.If it weren't for him, maybe she might have decided to leave.

That year, his mother suddenly opened the door of the master bedroom on the second floor. As he saw, it was full of old things from the past. The traces of their love in the past were preserved intact without being stained with dust.

An Huaixu stood in front of Lu Linzhong's portrait with a calm expression.

There are wrinkles on her face, her movements are no longer as agile as when she was young, and she even has a few gray hairs.

Maybe everything has changed, but one thing has not changed.

She loves her lover.

"Yu'an, mom is going to find your mommy soon." An Huaixu looked up at Lu Yu'an, he was half a head taller than her a long time ago.

The moonlight outside the window spread under the two of them, curling and blurring, the cool summer breeze poured in through the window, and the soft chirping of insects rang in the ears.

After that night, the mother he loved most left him.

Lu Yu'an's throat was choked, and tears welled up in his eyes. He rolled his eyes, and his eyes fell on the shelf under the portrait. In the middle was the urn of the deceased. Next to it was a bracelet with a unique shape. Within a square inch, the two rings are close to each other, like two lovers leaning on each other.

They have embraced, kissed, and been intimate like this in the past...

At this moment, he understood that leaving might be a relief for his mother in this life.

According to his mother's last wish, he took the urn to an ancient temple in a small city in the south, and handed it over to the master who came to the house when he was eight years old.

This young man knelt in front of the ancient temple pagoda with tears streaming down his face, and solemnly kowtowed three times to the heaven and earth, "Mom, I have fulfilled your last wish for you, so you can go away with peace of mind."

When he returned to Jincheng again, he took the bracelet left by his mother and walked into the jewelry store called Serendipity.

The author has something to say: In the next chapter, they are coming.