Love is worse than nurturing

After interviewing the patient in the morning, the doctor accidentally clicked on a record when looking up the information in the computer.

It was written in the records that the tumor was in an advanced stage. The patient was a boy over [-] years old. The combination of such a young age and such a serious condition is rare in hospitals. The doctor immediately remembered that patient.

It was a patient I received one morning, a tall and thin boy, taciturn, who thought it was just an ordinary stomach problem, but he did not expect to find out such a result in the end.

At that time, it was still difficult for him to speak. For him, he was just one of the many patients he had treated in the morning, but for him, it was almost a death sentence.

High medical bills, painful chemotherapy, any of these can destroy a child in the prime of his youth.

What's more, even if you can survive these, the chances of being cured are very slim.

Those who don’t have money can’t be cured, and those who have money can’t be cured. He has seen many families who were hit hard at first, and then he was full of confidence in the treatment and prayed for a miracle. wait to die.

The doctor was impressed not only because of the young age of the patient, but also because of the other party's reaction.

A child who was only [-] years old, after learning about his illness, he was able to answer politely, and even said thank you doctor before leaving.

His ability to bear was much stronger than the adults he had ever seen, and he was so calm that the doctor didn't dare to think about it.

He was too busy and had to see twenty or thirty patients in one morning. Although he was told to come to the hospital early, he forgot to pay attention afterwards.

The doctor asked a nurse to check if there was a 19-year-old tumor patient in the inpatient department, and the nurse said no.

Sitting in front of the computer in silence for a while, until a colleague came over and asked the doctor to go to the cafeteria for dinner.

The doctor cheered up and left the office with his colleagues, trying his best to think positively.

Maybe his family took him to a better hospital for treatment. He is only 19 years old, and he has to fight no matter how difficult the disease is.

People come and go in the hospital, life and death are staged every day, they are doctors, how can they save everyone, everyone is doing their best and obeying the destiny.

Sickness is a very strange thing. When you don't know it, it lurks quietly. When it is discovered, it seems to race against time to worsen.

Gao Han can feel the changes in his body every day. He gets tired easily, gets thinner and whiter like a ghost, and he can't eat. He suffers from stomach pain every day.

His spirit was also not very good, he was drowsy, and sometimes he woke up in a daze, feeling that he would sleep to death one day.

If you really die in a dream, you are probably very lucky, at least you don't have to suffer when you are dying.

But fortunately, he paid enough tuition fees, and his last account was settled.

On the day after paying the tuition fees, he sent messages one by one to resign from all the part-time jobs. The people there were pretty nice, and after making sure that he would not come, he paid his salary so that he would not be penniless after paying the tuition fees.

After paying the tuition, it seems that there is nothing to do.

In the past, he was too busy, and he didn't even have time to worry about the spring and autumn. He had to run every day to grow up and provide for himself to eat and study.

No matter how busy he is now, he can't afford his broken body and gloomy tomorrow, but he is not busy anymore.

Gao Han touched the red string in his hand, he took a taxi to the hospital, got off and bought fruit and perfume lily.

The last time he left the hospital was only three weeks ago, and within twenty days, his tattered world collapsed.

He wanted to see if the old woman who gave him the red rope was still there. He remembered the ward she mentioned, and she also said that the nurse in charge of that ward was a good girl with a big temper and a soft heart.

After entering the hospital, I asked all the way to the ward in my memory. I pushed the door and went in. There was only a middle-aged man on the bed by the window. A fierce nurse was helping him to lie down, and his hands were moving carefully.

Gao Han went in and asked the nurse if there was still a white-haired old woman in a wheelchair in the ward who was hospitalized here some time ago.

The nurse looked at him vigilantly and said, "You don't even know the patient's name when you come to see him?"

Gao Han smiled awkwardly: "It's just that I met her in the hospital before, and she gave me her safety rope. I just finished working these days, and I want to see her."

As he spoke, he pulled out the red string in his cuff and showed it to the nurse.

The nurse knew this red rope, and it was carried by the grandma every day. One day, she suddenly disappeared and she asked. The grandma said that she met a child who was very good, but she was seriously ill, and the red rope was given to him. .

At that time, the nurse even said to grandma that she couldn't save herself and was worried about others.

It seems that this is the person in front of him.

You are really young, what kind of serious illness can you get at a young age?

The nurse's eyes turned red, and she said ferociously, "I came to see it after everyone left. Why did you go so early? Don't block me. I'm going to change the medicine for other patients."

Gao Han hurriedly asked again: "Have you been discharged from the hospital, is there any contact information?"

"If you leave, you will die, understand, don't delay my work."

The nurse, who was less than 1.6 meters tall, was so small that she pushed the cart full of medicines out with her head buried.

After going out the door, the nurse wiped the rabbit-like eyes with her sleeves, and saw a patient carrying a large basin of water, and immediately chased after her, her delicate voice was like frying chili peppers: "Put me down, you go back to bed and lie down." go."

How can the hospital accommodate so many sorrows of parting, it would be nice to take care of the things in front of you, who cares about the people who are not there.

This broken rope will not be protected if it is separated from people, so one of the two must be kept.

Gao Han casually gave the things in his hand to a family who went through the discharge procedures, and walked out of the hospital gate.

In an office on the fourth floor, the doctor who sneaked up to get up and move around, walked to the window to breathe air, saw a familiar figure walking out of the hospital gate, but couldn't remember where he had seen it.

Gao Han walked down the street in a daze, and now he really couldn't find anything to do anymore.

Time is a fucking bastard, why, why can't it wait for him.

He took other people's safety and didn't even say thank you very much.

Maybe people can save their lives if they carry it, but I'm such a fucking bastard.

The eyes are hot and hot, and the burning makes people panic.

I have never cried since I was a child. Tears are the weakest thing. They are not worthy of food and clothing.

She didn't cry when she was forced to work three jobs, she didn't cry when she learned that her tumor was terminal, and she didn't cry when rumors were flying all over the sky and everyone excluded her.

But right now, he really wants to cry.

Even when I was walking on the street, my tears still fell, one or two at first, and then I couldn't stop.

He didn't know where he was going, and his tears were so blurred that he couldn't see clearly, crying while walking.

The big boy who was 1.8 meters tall was standing on the street crying like a fool.

This is the most stupid time in his life, Gao Han thought, just this time.

Gao Han walked aimlessly along the street, and Song Jiyang followed him every step of the way.

When Gao Han walked out of the hospital, Song Jiyang happened to come over, and he took a special look at the name of the hospital to make sure that he hadn't heard it before, so he wrote it down and prepared to look it up.

Gao Han was crying, crying so sadly, as if he would cry once in his life, and Song Jiyang's heart was broken to pieces.

Song Jiyang didn't know how to help him, he didn't even know how to touch him.

But now Gao Han was clearly out of control, Song Jiyang didn't dare to let him here alone, what if he kept crying and didn't see the passing vehicles when he crossed the street.

Perhaps Song Jiyang's worry was too strong, but he was not ejected, but followed for a long time.

When the sun was almost setting, Gao Han walked to a park and sat by the lake in a daze.

Crying and walking, exhausting all the physical strength of a patient, Gao Han didn't even bother to think, staring at the sparkling lake in a daze.

Song Jiyang also sat down, and put his hands on his head weakly, trying to comfort him.

But only one figure was reflected in the water, and Gao Han couldn't receive Song Jiyang's comfort.

When the last ray of sky light disappeared, Gao Han suddenly took off his boots and put them away, stood up, and approached the lake step by step.

Song Jiyang noticed it, and a huge panic occupied him. He began to try to touch him, desperately trying to pull Gao Han back, but he could only fail again and again.

What a domineering president, Song Jiyang is not a domineering president, his brother Song Cheng is, Song Jiyang is just a psychopath who fantasizes about his lover.

So when Gao Han tried to commit suicide, Song Jiyang fell ill.

"You come back to Gao Han!" Song Jiyang desperately wanted to touch Gao Han. Countless times, whether it was grabbing his shoulders, hands, or blocking him, Gao Han would pass through his body unimpeded in the end, getting closer to the lake.

"What were you doing in the past? There's a lake over there, sober up, okay? Is there any hurdle you can't get over... You fucking stop!"

Gao Han couldn't hear him, so he walked to the lake in a daze.

Now it was Song Jiyang's turn to cry, Song Jiyang scolded him while shedding tears: "Are you fucking out of your mind? Please come back to me, I beg you, don't go, I beg you...don't go..."

Why can't he touch it, God damn why he can't touch it when he sees it!

"Stop, I beg you, don't go over, ah—"

Gao Han entered the water with a blank expression, and the icy lake water instantly soaked his ankles, like vines following him like shadows, dragging people to go deeper.

No matter how hoarse Song Jiyang was, no matter how hoarse Song Jiyang was, how much he stretched out his hand to kick and block him, he couldn't stop Gao Han's footsteps.

Song Jiyang's voice was hoarse from crying, and he was engulfed by a huge powerlessness, dragging him into an abyss deeper than despair.

Song Jiyang gently embraced Gao Han, and when Gao Han took a step forward, he took a step back.

When the water covered his waist, Gao Han suddenly stopped, Song Jiyang was so frightened that his head was dizzy, his eyes lost focus, he could only cry and hug Gao Han, repeating his powerless words over and over again.

"Don't go, I beg you, you wait for me, you wait for me, don't go... I beg you, Gao Han."

"I beg you, I beg you, don't leave me..."

"Don't leave me behind!"

Gao Han touched his pocket, and took out a paper box that was about to be crumbled, with two pieces of chocolate candies inside.

Put the sugar in your mouth, the chocolate melts sweet and greasy, the surroundings are black, and the water is cold.

High-calorie sweets have an unparalleled soothing power, and Gao Han feels a little warmer on his body.

Folding the cartons of chocolates and putting them in his pockets, Gao Han walked towards the center of the lake with chocolate candies in his mouth.

The icy lake water flooded up, submerged breathing bit by bit, the silt at the bottom of the lake exuded the most disgusting fishy smell of Gao Han, Song Jiyang sank to the bottom of the lake with Gao Han.

Losing the point of strength under his feet, his body kept sinking, and Gao Han felt as if his back had already leaned against the bottom of the lake.

There is a cold shadow swimming around, and the consciousness is peeling off little by little.

Suffocation is uncomfortable. When the last bit of air in the lungs is consumed, the instinct of survival makes Gao Han open his eyes and struggle up.

There was silence under the lake, even the sound of the water stopped. He heard someone calling him, crying and saying don't go.

Before the last trace of consciousness blurred, there seemed to be a pair of hands holding him, Gao Han curled his fingers but didn't grab anything.

It was completely dark.

The author has something to say: Thank you my lords, thank you for being cool and domineering