King of 25 Cubs

Dazai thought for a while, and said in a firm tone: "If I say 'yes', you will definitely reject me."

I solemnly nodded: "Yes, I will refuse."

Every confession deserves to be respected. You must make it clear whether you like this kind of thing or not.

After hearing what I said, Dazai turned his head and gave a "tss", like an unreasonable child, hummed in a low voice: "Then I won't say anything."

I:"……"

So this is an admission, and then throw the problem to me?

If I made it clear that I refused, he would say: I didn't say anything, what are you refusing?

But if I pretended not to hear, he might say something more: Wu Guajiang didn't reject me, he must like me!

Damn, as expected of you Dazai Osamu.

I took a deep breath, suppressed the urge to hit someone, and reached out to move the soup bowl in the middle of the table aside.

"Dazai, I think we need to have a responsible conversation between serious, caring, reliable adults."

Hmm... Although one of us is 16 years old and the other is 18 years old, neither of us is a reliable adult.

Hearing this, Dazai straightened up slightly, and his whole state changed from his miserable appearance before.

It's as if the pearl oyster takes back the fragile and tender meat that is occasionally revealed, and puts on its own smooth and hard shell again.

He crossed his hands on his chin, rolled his eyes, and calmly said: "So, what does Wuguajiang want to talk about?"

"I mean hypothetical, listen up, hypothetical!"

I emphasized one sentence and continued: "Suppose you like me, and this kind of liking is not the kind of liking for kittens and puppies on the side of the road, but the kind of liking between men and women, then... you'd better give up."

I said in a cold tone: "Don't love me, there will be no result, unless you are bald than me."

Dazai glanced up, stroked his fluffy black hair, eager to try: "This means, if I want to pursue you, I have to shave my head first, right?"

Wait, why are your eyes lit up? !

Do you want to have a shiny bald head?

"... If you dare to shave your head because of this kind of thing, I really won't talk to you anymore."

Hearing my warning, Dazai showed a sleepy expression, folded his arms, and slumped on the table like liquid: "Oh, that's fine."

"And—" I changed the subject, and said seriously: I would not like a person, even I can't trust myself. "

Trust is the source of security, and love is built on trust.If there is no trust, what is love?

"Although I said before that the grievances and grievances between us are clear, I can't get back together with you from now on and treat what happened as if it didn't exist. After all, the night you jumped off the building, I still have to know that you lied to me. I was really sad that day."

"The trust has collapsed. Don't say I like you, it's good if I don't hate you."

Dazai's eyes drifted a little, like light snowflakes falling on the empty soup bowl.

After a moment of silence, he said to himself: "Even though you said so, you still made me noodles in clear soup. You didn't make spicy food because you felt sorry for my injury?"

Afterwards, he raised his head to look directly at me again, bent his eyes and smiled, the corners of his eyebrows seemed to fly up: "So Yugo still likes me, right? You still like me?" ①

This is the first time I've seen such a forceful way of giving myself a step down.

I bit my lower lip and struggled for a moment, changed the angle, and considered my words:

"Your liking for me, or your obsession, may have come from the fact that I held you back several times many years ago. But Dazai, the person I wanted to hold back at that time was actually not you."

My eyes fell on Dazai's wrist.

When I saw him for the first time that year, he was cutting his wrists in the bathroom, making blood all over the floor.

But now the scar has healed very well, and it is already very shallow, so shallow that it is almost invisible.

Noticing my gaze, Dazai tugged his sleeve and covered his wrist casually.

"The fake suicide lied to you only once. Before that, I never lied to you, including the first time we met."

"I know."

I looked away, rolled up my sleeves, pointed to the same place where Dazai cut his wrist, and gently drew a horizontal line with my fingertips.

"In the past, I almost cut off at this position. If it wasn't for good luck, Deng Tuzi encouraged me again, I might...really die."

"You too?" Dazai opened his eyes wide in surprise, "I've never heard of this from you."

"There's nothing to say, it's all in the past." I wrote lightly: "So I will save you, largely because I saw the former self in you, and saving you is just another form of self-help."

I laughed at myself and shrugged my shoulders: "I would be nice to him if I were another person. So you see, I am not worthy of your liking, or in other words - repaying your favor."

"So Yugo committed suicide before! Well, then we are the same person!"

Dazai said happily, he didn't argue with me about the difference between liking and repaying a favor, but he put me in his sphere of influence.

I:"???"

Wait, what's up with this "as long as you've committed suicide, round up and we're married" tone?

Dazai squeezed his chin, and continued thoughtfully: "You obviously wanted to die, but you still put down that knife, Yuguo is a brave boy."

This is the first time I have heard from others that "giving up suicide" is equal to "brave".

Honestly, it's nice to hear people say that.

But Dazai didn't stop talking: "Obviously they put down their knives, but your supernatural ability wants to commit suicide again and again."

His tone was soft and gentle: "I think you shouldn't use this ability much except for saving people. But, does this violate your original intention of trying to survive?"

"Throwing down the knife is courage, and picking up the 'knife' again is even more courageous. Although I really want to praise Yugo for being braver than me, but—"

He looked at me fixedly, with a very serious expression, and said word by word: "Every time you 'suicide', do you feel scared or hurt?"

"Will you even occasionally have the mood of 'If this ability doesn't work, will I just die'?"

This time it was my turn to open my eyes.

I opened my lips slightly, and originally wanted to say "it's nothing", but the words suddenly stuck on the edge of my mouth.

are you afraid?

In fact, the fear of losing your hair is far more than the fear of death.

But if it's worth it, it's not entirely unacceptable.

Does it hurt?

Pain, it was a severe pain as if the soul was being torn apart, but it was not unbearable.

After all, my threshold for feeling pain has been raised as early as when I travel through and complete tasks again and again.

Obviously these are acceptable, but why can't I say a word, and even feel that my heart has been gently poked?

Most human beings will never be defensive about being cared for and understood.

I showed a distressed and angry expression: "You are too good at talking, I can't talk about you at all."

This person is really good at judging the situation. Every tiny move he made, every word he said, has been carefully thought out, and he completely stepped on the balance in my heart.

One more point, I may draw a line with him from now on;

One point less, and I might throw him out of my house.

Dazai moved his chair, moved a little closer, and asked me: "Then listen to me, will you be happy?"

Will you be happy?

can you?

"Although Yuguo is very strong, you probably don't need my help, but I will try my best to make you no longer have the opportunity to use this ability; in case there is a need, then... I am willing to be a listener, those The memories that were overwritten and reset, those memories that you fought alone, should not be obliterated by time, I want to hear you tell me all of them."

"You used to protect me, let me protect you now."

I pursed my lips: "Even if you say that, I won't..."

Dazai blinked at me, his body leaned forward slightly, and his tone was light and soft: "Everything I do has nothing to do with the relationship between a man and a woman, because the word 'like' can carry a limited weight, something like 'love' is very important to us. However, it always lacks a bit of thickness and layering, and it looks too thin after all.”

The warm yellow light fell lazily on the young man opposite.

He thought for a while, put his finger on his lips and chuckled twice, and when he spoke again, his lowered voice was a little softer than usual:

"You are not love, you are human."

The passage of time suddenly slowed down, and the gentle night breeze in early summer slipped in through the half-opened window, with the scent of vanilla from the garden, dispelling the desolation in the room.

I may have heard my own heartbeat.

It doesn't have to be a heartbeat though, it could be the sound of a clock hanging on the wall.

Tick-tick, plop-plop.

I asked myself again, would this be fun?

Will you be happy to be understood, needed, respected, protected and relied on?

Hugging each other for warmth, will you be happy?

I did not speak.

Dazai looked at me intently, his expression seemed determined and confident, but his eyes accidentally leaked a bit of tension.

After a long time, I stood up and pushed the chair away.

"If you want me to be your mother, just say so."

Dazai froze for a moment, and looked at me with a surprised expression.

"Huh? Wait?! I'm not—"

"When I am admitted to Dongda, we will reconcile."

I interrupted him with a straight face, and said quickly: "It's just a reconciliation, don't ask for more. You sit here first, and I'll get the medicine kit. Your wound needs to be re-treated."

I didn't look at Dazai's expression, and turned around directly.

Just two steps out, there was the sound of a chair rubbing against the ground behind me, and a person flew over and hugged me behind me.

"Hey!!!"

I staggered forward a few steps, and Dazai was hanging on me, heavy.

His hairy head was still rubbing against my neck.

Hiss, it's so itchy...

"I'm talking about waiting for me to be admitted to Dongdae University, not now!"

Shrinking his neck, he wanted to throw him off me angrily: "I haven't forgiven you yet! Let go, or I'll beat you!"

"I don't want to let go, let me hold you for a while, just for a while~"

Dazai's voice was ambiguous, and he said stickily behind me: "I was really nervous just now, don't look at me as if I was very sure, but when I saw the clear soup noodles, I almost thought it was the last meal."

My movements paused, and then the other party realized that I was entangled even tighter.

"It's pressing my hair, let go! Are you an octopus?!"

After finally getting Dazai off me, I left the restaurant and called Ango-san.

At this time, ordinary people have already gone to bed, but I bet that Mr. Ango, who is not ordinary, must still be working overtime.

Sure enough, the call was quickly connected.

"Takaho?"

In addition to Mr. Ango's voice on the opposite side, there were also the sound of pages being turned and keyboards being tapped.

"Why are you calling at this time?"

"Mr. Ango, isn't it because of Dazai's erratic whereabouts that the danger cannot continue to decrease? Will it affect his cleansing?"

"It stands to reason that it will. Dazai's probation period will be extended indefinitely. As long as the probation period is not over, he will always be a 're-education prisoner'."

I blinked my eyes: "Then let me be his 24-hour watchman, which should reduce the danger and shorten the observation period?"

As a secret government organization that does not exist on the surface, the Ability Secret Service Section not only conducts espionage activities and maintains public security in the dark, but also has a job of "surveillance".

The Supernatural Secret Service Division has a list of unorganized supernatural beings whose abilities are dangerous and will cause damage to society.In order to prevent such things from happening, the Ability Secret Service Section will monitor these people and supervise all their actions. Once an accident occurs, they must be eliminated.

For example, the "murder detective" Ayatsuji pedestrian who ranked first on the list, his ability can ignore any cause and effect and make the prisoner die unexpectedly, so he is called "a super dangerous person with supernatural ability", and he has always been a member of the special agent department. objects of high surveillance. ②

In short, I have the authority to be a monitor.

Ango Sakaguchi was silent for a moment, and asked me: "Do you have any grudges against Dazai? Did he annoy you when you were roommates? Or did he annoy you when he was a teacher recently?"

"Why do you ask about this?"

Mr. Anwu's tone was very tangled: "Because you offered to be a supervisor, and the supervisor has the right to kill first and then act later. You don't want to take this opportunity to kill Dazai, do you?"

I:"……"

I didn't have this idea at first, but when Mr. Anwu mentioned it like this, why am I suddenly a little tempted?

But I definitely can't admit being tempted, so I said righteously: "As a living person and a dead ghost of the Supernatural Secret Service Division, how could I do such a thing that would damage the reputation and interests of the organization! Mr. Ango, you underestimate me .”

"Cough, sorry."

I changed the subject, made a fist with one hand, and said with righteous indignation: "I obviously want to use chicken feathers as arrows, and use my identity as a watcher to order Dazai to take off his clothes and do a hula dance!"

Mr. Anwu was choked, and after coughing for a long time, he said to me: "Ahem, cough...then if he jumps, remember to record a video and send it to me."

"ojbk!"

I said viciously.

After hanging up the phone, I took the medicine kit and went back to the restaurant.

After skillfully bandaging and applying medicine to the other party, I put away the tools and tapped the table with my fingertips: "I am your monitor now, and I will decide when your observation period ends."

Dazai blinked, "So?"

I took out my phone: "Anyway, you should do a hula dance first."

Dazai: "???"

The author has something to say:

①From the three-dimensional stalk

I said this in front of Osamu Dazai:

"I don't like Mr. Osamu Dazai's literary works."

At this moment, Dazai stared at me suddenly, moved his body slightly, his expression seemed to be poked by someone, but immediately leaned slightly to Kamei, and said to himself: "You just need to In this way, you still came, so you still like it. Right, you still like it!"

Now, I am also the same age as Dazai at that time, and I gradually understand how he felt when he received the young man who met him for the first time saying "I don't like your literature", because I have encountered such situations several times.

I once met a young man I didn't know at an unexpected place and at an unexpected time. His mouth was crooked with a smile, and his face was pale with tension. In order not to lose the opportunity to prove his honesty, he suddenly said There is such a sentence: "I don't like your literature, I hate it the most." Meeting such a literary assassin seems to be the fate of writers.Of course, I don't love such young people, and I don't condone such immaturity. I avoided it with an adult smile and pretended not to hear it.

It’s just that I’m different from Dazai. Furthermore, the literature of the two is different. I would never say “but you’re here, so I still like it”.

——Yukio Mishima, "The Age of My Experience"

②From Bungo Stray Dog's official novel Gaiden

————感谢在2020-05-0221:40:34~2020-05-0319:39:53期间为我投出霸王票或灌溉营养液的小天使哦~

Thanks to the little angels who threw the landmines: Pheasant Sifazi, Zhonggu, Huijiu, and Liuqingzi;

感谢灌溉营养液的小天使：陌式感伤69瓶；端木零、手机是我真爱32瓶；我的药总世界第一可爱、终古20瓶；子期15瓶；巡游星河、十三个芒果12瓶；Nasuki、依然如故10瓶；鹤先生家的婶婶8瓶；闲敲棋子7瓶；上杉绘梨衣、小虞6瓶；娜娜醬2瓶；saiiiii、夏妤婳1瓶；

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!