Xiao Lang Jing

Song Qiran took a deep breath and woke up from the bed covered in cold sweat.From the moment he opened his eyes, the severe tinnitus returned. He held his head on the side, and his headache seemed to explode.

He didn't remember how he fell asleep, but he only remembered the last image he had on the monitor screen, which was an empty room with a black single leather bed in the middle of the room.

He knew where it was, he remembered, it was the special treatment room in the rehab center, the room in the rehab center where he had officially started his shock therapy.

He smashed the computer showing the video and interrupted the whole process of trying to recall the original scene again, because even if he only remembered the beginning, it was still too much for Song Qiran now.

He didn't expect the electric shock therapy to be so painful.

He endured physical migraines for ten years because of sequelae, but it was still less than one ten-thousandth of the pain his body could feel during electric shocks.

He stayed in the rehabilitation center for three months. From the second week onwards, interventional treatment was performed three times every two weeks. Calculated, he should have experienced at least fifteen electric shocks.Fifteen times.

Song Qiran clasped his arms and trembled all over.Liu Nengbin is right, when you think about everything again, all the feelings will come back, facing the memory is like a third party who is forced to reread that period of life, like a person who has not swum in half his life being thrown back In the water, he was panicked, ignorant and dull. All the conversations and scenes he had seen were covered in mist, separated by a layer, only the feeling of pain was like spikes, piercing through all the vague senses and reaching the nerves center.

Song Qiran propped up his hands with the help of the bedside table, on which there was a glass of water, Song Qiran swept it to the ground, the glass broke in two, rolled away far away, the water splashed all over the floor and wet the carpet.

That is one of his favorite rugs, European craftsmanship, which was selected and matched by Song Qiran himself, and purchased directly in Denmark through the supplier of the design firm. Blue-gray, when Song Qiran is too tired from work, sometimes he can feel calmer just by looking at it.

But it’s different now. Once the emotions that have been accumulated for ten years return to his body, he is now like a container that has been squeezed too slowly in an instant. Anxiety, anger, confusion, annoyance, all kinds of emotions are piled up in his body, He was about to explode.

Zhao Meng pushed open the door, saw Song Qiran standing blankly beside the bed at first sight, and saw the broken glass on the ground at the second sight, he frowned tightly, strode to the side of the bed, hugged Song Qiran, Keep his bare feet away from the carpet.

"You just had an injection, and Dr. Li said that you may have a short-term cognitive impairment. Can you recognize who I am?" Zhao Meng restrained his emotions, and asked as he held him firmly.

Song Qiran was almost at a loss for words.

In his eyes at this moment, Zhao Meng's face seemed as if it had been a lifetime away.He clearly remembered this person, and remembered everything related to this person, but his words were all blocked in his throat, and he couldn't say a word.

Zhao Meng sighed.

"It's okay, just rest and rest."

He gave Song Qiran a smile.When he laughed, he could clearly see two bruises under his eyes, and Song Qiran hugged his neck.He smelled aftershave on Zhao Meng's cheek.Zhao Meng should have just finished shaving, but his expression is still very tired, and the smile on his face doesn't look contagious.

"I know you." Song Qiran replied in a low voice.

Zhao Meng's eyes flashed, his movements stopped, and he looked at him with complicated and excited expressions.

Song Qiran still gave him a confirmation with a blank expression.

"I said, I know you, you are Zhao Meng."

His ending sound carried a sense of exhaustion, and now he feels very difficult every time he speaks a word, he really needs a rest, but he still can't help but feel a sense of relief.

He remembered what Liu Nengbin had told him, and that sentence explained the problem that even his relatives and family doctors didn't understand, how did his sequelae come about.

His parents thought he suffered too much, his second uncle thought it was Zhao Meng's accident ten years ago that stimulated his mind, and the family doctor thought he lost his memory because he was afraid of seeing flashbacks again and again.Now he knows, he just wasted too much time.

It took him too long to find the person he had lost at the beginning.

Song Qiran pulled open the collar of Zhao Meng's clothes. He wanted to kiss Zhao Meng's neck, but he saw a series of leaking red scars under the two tightly buttoned wind buttons.

Zhao Meng covered that area, he seemed very nervous, Song Qiran's unexpected movements made a panic expression appear on his face.He seemed very afraid that Song Qiran would find out.

But Song Qiran had already discovered it.

He hesitated for a while, but asked anyway.

"Is it me?"

He vaguely remembered that he had indeed smashed the computer.Since he did lose control for a while, it is not impossible to scratch or scratch Zhao Meng by mistake.

Zhao Meng looked even more panicked.

"Don't be afraid, I... No, it's okay, it's really okay."

Song Qiran could see that Zhao Meng was probably worried that he would blame himself.After all, he had such a problem before, as long as Zhao Meng was sad, he would be sad, and his emotional ups and downs were out of control. Even in the rehabilitation center, there were several records of abnormal behavior.

There was indeed something strange in Song Qiran's heart at the moment, but it was not self-blame.

He felt that he had changed a lot, as if Zhao Meng was the only piece of the puzzle that was lost in those long years. He didn't understand feelings and love in the past, because that part of himself was also sucked into a vacuum along with the blankness of memory. , but now all insecurities have been filled.He no longer had to worry about Zhao Meng disappearing suddenly, and he didn't have to worry that Zhao Meng would reject him. There was nothing in the world that could become an obstacle between the two of them.

Song Qiran suddenly smiled.His fingers caressed Zhao Meng's shoulder, climbed up Zhao Meng's neck, and finally made a circle around the Adam's apple, and entangled it.It almost turned into a gesture of pinching Zhao Meng in the palm of his hand.

Song Qiran had an unceasing impulse to break out of the ground.

You are mine at last.It's mine alone.

He was terrified by his own thoughts at that moment.He let go of his hand and lay on Zhao Meng's body panting.

He is familiar with that feeling, that is the state that he feels every time he is about to lose control of his emotions and get sick.

The current Song Qiran is the result of the fusion of the past Song Qiran and him. When he came back from his memory, he came back with all the wounds that had not been completely healed.

He bowed his head and bit himself.He bites so hard that he almost bites the skin and the back of his hand bleeds.

Zhao Meng yelled at him, threw him down, pressed him into the bed, and forcibly broke his wrist.

"what are you doing……!"

He put Song Qiran's hand in his arms with distress.At that moment, there was naked anger in his eyes. He looked at Song Qiran excitedly, but he couldn't bear to blame him. He thought he would see Song Qiran's fragile expression that needed comfort, but unexpectedly, Song Qiran turned to Song Qiran. he laughed.

"Do you think I was cuter when I first met you?" he asked.

At that time, Song Qiran didn't know anything, didn't remember anything, only had the most primitive intuition, and he held Zhao Meng tightly among thousands of people, almost wanting to keep him by his side in an unreasonable way. Even so impulsive that I don't even know the reason.

The former Song Qiran would definitely hug Zhao Meng without hesitation after waking up, kiss him recklessly, would be overwhelmed by the joy of reunion and falling in love, and would say all naive, seductive and stupid things without knowing it.

That kind of purity makes people want to get close, not to mention Zhao Meng, even he himself prefers the simple and straightforward self at that time.

But now Song Qiran can only keep reappearing all the old scenes over and over again. Zhao Meng's face keeps overlapping with the one in his memory. He remembers every detail about this person, but it seems that all the details are in order. It's all so strange.

He suddenly developed many emotions, but all the emotions were chaotic and difficult to distinguish. He seemed to be ecstatic at one moment, and very sad at another moment. He seemed to want Zhao Meng to stick to him tightly, leaving no room for him. I also feel that being so paranoid is full of potential dangers and I want to push the person in front of me away, far away.

There are too many emotions coming up all at once, and people become not crisp.

"I'm sorry," Song Qiran said to Zhao Meng suddenly, "I really want to do something to comfort you, but I'm afraid you won't get used to it."

Zhao Meng was stunned.

"What stupid things are you talking about?" He looked at Song Qiran with straight eyes.

Song Qiran couldn't imagine what he had experienced in the past ten hours.

At the moment when his lover, whose mood fluctuated suddenly, fainted in his arms, Zhao Meng's whole body seemed to be drenched in ice water.Song Qiran, who was unconscious, could only utter the syllable "pain". Zhao Meng hugged him with all his strength, but he was still shaking as if he was freezing in the ice and snow. His lips were pale and he was sweating profusely. It was pulled to pieces and smashed into pieces, but no matter what he said into Song Qiran's ear, that person didn't respond to him, just kept crying out for pain.

Dr. Li was afraid that the sudden stimulation would make him bite his tongue, so he could only stuff a piece of medical gauze into his mouth, and asked Zhao Meng to fix Song Qiran's body.Zhao Meng saw that his baby was crying, but he could not make a sound, so he could only shed tears silently, and every knuckle stuck into the skin and flesh of his shoulders turned white with force.

Zhao Meng himself almost collapsed.

This is not counting the time when Dr. Li said to Song Qiran that "he may have some cognitive confusion" after recording Song Qiran's EEG.

Zhao Meng didn't understand that word, so he repeated it several times.

What is cognitive confusion is that there will be illusions, and it is impossible to distinguish between memory and reality, that is, it may be unconscious, and it may not even recognize who he is.

How could Song Qiran not recognize who he was.He is like a bone in Zhao Meng's body, growing out of his heart, liver and heart.Zhao Meng had to cut out his own heart and lungs in order to accept the possibility that Song Qiran would look at him with strange eyes.

Before Song Qiran woke up, he spent his whole life trying to calm himself down. He imagined ten thousand possibilities, no matter whether his baby could return to its original state or not, he would decide for this person for the rest of his life.

Just now he asked Song Qiran if he knew who he was, Song Qiran was silent for such a long interval as if the mute button was pressed, Zhao Meng felt that he might have gone crazy from that moment on.He was actually seriously considering whether to lock Song Qiran in this room, lest his family and his powerful second uncle forcibly take him away from him.

He is the people's policeman, he shouldn't have that kind of thinking.But after finding out the truth about that period with great difficulty, it will really drive people crazy to miss their lover.

So now Zhao Meng really doesn't think there is anything unusual about Song Qiran's state.

If you want to fall ill, then the two of you should fall ill together.

"You are the best in the world and you always will be."

Zhao Meng held Song Qiran firmly, and kissed him like a storm.Then he let go of him and sat beside him on the bed in silence.

Song Qiran was crying, he hiccupped like he was drunk, and covered his mouth while crying and laughing.

Dr. Li knocked three times on the door.

Zhao Meng turned around.

"Master still needs another injection." He heard Dr. Li's steady voice.

Zhao Meng touched Song Qiran's side face, and said softly to him in the lightest voice:

"Sleep, just sleep and sleep."

At the moment Dr. Li and his assistant entered the room, Zhao Meng brushed shoulders with them and walked out.An acquaintance who had met him before was sitting on the sofa for receiving guests.

Zhao Meng sniffed, rolled up his sleeves and asked Yue Lan, "What would you like to eat?"

Yue Lan's expression was terrified, she shook her head quickly.

"Don't worry about me... I'm not hungry."

Zhao Meng couldn't agree with her attitude.

"You have to take good care of yourself," he said to Yue Lan, "You owe him an explanation, and I want you to explain it clearly to him yourself."

The author has something to say

A Ranran who just woke up with cognitive confusion, he will be fine, the next chapter is Yue Lan's story to tie everything together