Embroidered Pillows and Paper Tigers

Shen Yan fell asleep peacefully, Li Shi'an sat for a while, saw that the corners of his forehead were slightly wet with sweat, and stretched out his other hand out of nowhere to straighten his messy forehead.

The next morning, Li Shi'an woke up from his sleep on all fours. He really didn't know how he fell asleep while guarding someone, and even fell asleep in this position.But in my impression, Li Qishan didn't ask the two of them to eat last night.

Seeing Shen Yan staring at him, Li Shi'an naturally withdrew his legs that were on Shen Yan's body, and was still thinking about what to say to cover up his embarrassment, when there was a knock on the door, Li Qishan said outside, "Get up and eat."

Li Qishan is the kind of parent who is warm, thoughtful and traditional to his children and classmates. This morning, he made porridge and side dishes for the two children.

The three of them were eating, and Li Shi'an asked Shen Yan casually, "Did you practice dancing today? Did you not bring your practice uniform?"

When Shen Yan grabbed Li Shi'an's hand last night, Li Shi'an didn't take it away, which made Shen Yan hopeful that Li Shi'an would accept him. He wanted to be more sure, so he threw the question back: "At home, I went back to get it, and I can still come over ?"

Li Shi'an was taken aback, he didn't expect Shen Yan to be so sensitive, and he couldn't tell whether he still wanted him to come or not.

Li Qishan, who didn't know why, heard from the side and said: "Why can't you come? This age is rebellious, it doesn't matter, welcome to be with Shi'an as a companion, and it won't be too late to go back after the conflict with the family disappears."

Li Shi'an was just silent when he heard Li Qishan's words. He knew that Shen Yan's desire to stay was not only because of his relationship with his family. He didn't want the relationship between the two to develop in that direction, so he wasn't sure if it would be good for Shen Yan to stay at home like this. Seeing Li Qishan's reproachful eyes, he had no choice but to say, "Then let's stay for a few days."

Li Qishan nodded in satisfaction, he still had things to do that day, he drank the porridge, took a steamed bun, went to the hall to change his shoes, and said goodbye to the two children.

Shen Yan couldn't take it anymore, and asked Li Shi'an: "Is what you just said the truth?"

When Li Shi'an saw it, he thought it was a hunger strike, and he sighed inwardly: "Yes, yes, eat quickly."

After finishing speaking, she still didn't see any movement from Shen Yan, and seeing that his expression was still so bad, she worriedly said, "Let's go check it out."

Shen Yan shook his head.

Li Shi'an recalled the last time Li Qishan was hospitalized, and decided that the minor illness could not be delayed, and said, "I'll go with you, shall I?"

So the two took time to go to the hospital.

After registering the number, I went to line up at the door of the consultation room. I waited in line for a whole morning to see the doctor. When the doctor heard about the condition, the doctor issued a check-up without saying a word.After coming out of the outpatient clinic, the two sat outside the endoscopy room of the Department of Gastroenterology under the baptism of countless uncles and aunts.

An aunt saw the two of them approaching, and sighed: "I have a bad stomach at a young age, young people nowadays..."

Li Shi'an felt that Shen Yan was wronged, and it stands to reason that he was the one who didn't eat well.

The uncle from behind responded, "That's right. There is a young man on our street who eats takeaway every day. He is young. I heard that he was diagnosed with stomach cancer last month."

Is there any inevitable connection between eating takeaway and stomach cancer?The more Li Shi'an heard it, the more he felt that his time was approaching, and he wished he could register himself immediately and check his whole body.

Sure enough, I couldn't enter the hospital.

He sat with Shen Yan horribly until almost noon before he got in the line. When Shen Yan came out, his expression was a little painful. Li Shi'an hurriedly handed him a glass of water, but a nurse saw him and told them that they could only drink water after half an hour, and that they could drink water after an hour. Eat liquid food.

Li Shi'an had no choice but to show an embarrassed smile, and took the water glass away from Shen Yan's hand.

The list came out quickly. During the follow-up visit, the doctor looked at the list and gave a diagnosis opinion, saying five words: "erosive gastritis."

Li Shi'an was shocked when he heard the word "corrosion", and asked, "Is it serious? Are you going to have an operation?"

The doctor is a thin and small old man. He gave him a blank look: "You are only a teenager, are you still studying? Eat regularly, don't stay up all night, and don't put so much pressure on yourself when you study. Less than one-fifth of your life is over." , you guys are still early." After speaking, he prescribed a bunch of medicine.

As long as it's okay, when Li Shi'an went out, he breathed a sigh of relief, thinking that the old man could really speak, he said that Shen Yan's life was less than one-fifth of his life, didn't he just say that Shen Yan would live to be a hundred years old?

It was noon after the two finished taking the medicine, and they were about to take a taxi home, but they didn't expect to spray Lao Yu in the hospital.

Lao Yu was packing food and going to the hospital. His father was sick and was hospitalized. He was serving in the hospital recently. When he saw Li Shi'an and Shen Yan, he greeted him happily and chatted a little: "I haven't seen you coming to the studio recently. , Are you really not going to take the art test?"

Li Shian wondered which pot you would not open and which pot to lift, glanced at Shen Yan, and joked: "You can't afford to take the art exam, you support me."

Lao Yu happily said: "Okay. But it will be a few grades lower than your father's raising you."

Li Shi'an smiled.

Lao Yu turned to regret and sighed: "Actually, as long as people work hard in today's society, no one will starve to death. The cost of chasing dreams is already very small. If we don't walk on the road, we can only say that we are not brave enough." Some words stimulated Then he patted Li Shi'an's shoulder to comfort him, "But the teacher can understand you, I know you will never give up your hobbies no matter what path you take."

Thinking of the dusty album, Li Shi'an felt ashamed.

After exchanging pleasantries, Lao Yu was afraid that the food would be cold, so the three of them dispersed. Li Shi'an and Shen Yan returned home, and they ran into Qu Ya when they went upstairs.

Qu Ya met Li Shi'an on the first day she moved in. She remembered that the child was about to go out when she saw him yelling and then turned back to the house.

At first she didn't understand the reason, but later she understood through contact with Fu Youcheng, and also knew that the classmate Shen Yan mentioned was actually next door to their house.

Thinking of her son's escape for nearly a year, Qu Ya felt uncomfortable.

Looking down and seeing the medicine bag in Shen Yan's hand, Qu Ya was even more sad and complained, feeling that her son did not accept her devotion, and she even hid her illness from her.

Seeing that Qu Ya's eyes were red, Shen Yan signaled Li Shi'an to go back first, while he and Qu Ya went back to the next door.

"Why didn't you tell mom when you were sick?" Qu Ya questioned Shen Yan as soon as she closed the door.

"I didn't have time." Shen Yan explained, "It's not a big problem."

Qu Ya nodded: "Okay, I haven't had time, then let me ask you, is your classmate who made up the class the same as the one just now?"

Shen Yan didn't answer, he knew that Qu Ya would find out one day, but he didn't think about how to explain it.

Qu Ya burst into tears: "How long are you going to hide from your mother?"

Shen Yan denied it: "I didn't hide from you."

Qu Ya asked: "Then who are you hiding from?"

Shen Yan hated Qu Ya's knowingly asking: "You succeed in hiding, hide in this house! I don't like this place, you always know it!"

Qu Ya pointed out another way for him: "Then you go to study abroad."

"I'm not going! Don't even think about it!" Shen Yan was categorical, he had never considered studying abroad, and now that he knew that Fu Youcheng was a jerk, it was even more impossible for him to think about it.

She doesn’t want to stay at home, nor does she want to study abroad. Qu Ya feels that her son is not considerate enough: “He is willing to accept you and has the ability to provide you with the life you want. Why don't you want to face him?"

Shen Yan didn't understand why Qu Ya could always ignore the white eyes and disgust that fell on him: "He is willing to accept me? How did he accept it, can't you see it?"

Qu Ya weakly defended: "Those are all because you are too sensitive."

"I'm too sensitive? Then what is it if he hits you?" Shen Yan pointed to the wound on his face and shouted angrily, "What is this!"

Qu Ya squatted on the ground and sobbed. After all, she deserved it.

Over the age of 35, her skin is gradually losing her youthful brilliance. She has no special skills. She was pregnant with Shen Yan when she was studying. The school at that time did not accept her, and she didn't even get her graduation certificate.

She has only insisted on one thing in her life, and that is to insist on giving birth to Shen Yan, but because of this incident, she fell out with her family.

She went to many men's homes just to support a child.She is not afraid of suffering, but she is afraid that Shen Yan will suffer and fail to pay for it. She can't even guarantee whether Shen Yan can continue to study. What she fears most is that her child's future will be ruined by her own incompetence.

However, after giving everything, the child still didn't understand, and all the complaints turned into complaints: "Mom... Mom married him because of you."

Shen Yan was most afraid of hearing this sentence, so he suppressed and said: "I never asked you to marry Fu Youcheng for me! You always pay for what you think is right! Have you ever thought about my feelings? I'm not touched at all, I Even feel like a burden! I feel like I'm a burden to you! How do you want me to think of myself?"

Qu Ya finally lost control: "You are a burden! If you don't do what you like and fulfill your dreams, you will always be my burden! When will you grow up? When will you understand my painstaking efforts? !"

Shen Yan was shocked by Qu Ya's words, his brain roared, he pushed Qu Ya away regardless, and rushed back to the room.

After about ten minutes of silence, the door rang, and Qu Ya said outside, "Come out, mom won't yell like that, let's talk about it."

Shen Yan opened the door: "Tell me, how to talk about it."

Qu Ya asked, "Why don't you go to study abroad?"

Shen Yan: "Fu Youcheng treats you so well, how do you let me leave with peace of mind?"

Qu Ya didn't like Shen Yan mentioning this matter: "This is an adult's business, what does it have to do with your studies?"

Shen Yan bitterly said: "Why is it okay? Do you remind me of the fists you bear every time I take a step abroad!"

"You..." Qu Ya was speechless, this is his son, sensitive and smart, proud and fragile, she doesn't want to abandon him, marrying Fu You and providing him with the best material conditions is the only thing she can do, but Even Shen Yan didn't want it, "What do you want from me?"

I want you to get divorced, leave here, go out to rent a house, whatever, as long as you leave.

Shen Yan moved his lips, but in the end he didn't say anything, turned around and pulled out the box behind him.

In the room behind him, every object exudes the aura of success, the walls, the wardrobe, and the sheets, like thousands of worms crawling on him, making him sick, and he doesn't want to stay there for a moment.

Shen Yan dragged the box out the door, and he sent a message to Li Shi'an: 【Can I come over now? 】

Li Shi'an received the message next door, and replied: [It's ok, don't you want to talk about it in the morning? 】

Shen Yan said: [I'm not talking about staying for a few days, but staying for a period of time. 】

Li Shi'an guessed that Shen Yan had a quarrel with Qu Ya, and if he came to their house after the quarrel, he would have run away from home, and he said: 【Are you quarreling with your mother?You have to solve problems, you can't hide from your mother like this. 】

After sending this sentence, there was no reply from Shen Yan, and when she opened the curtains, she was indeed in the swimming pool.

Li Shian said with peace of mind: Every time I encounter a problem, I hide in the swimming pool. I can't do anything about you, right?

He really had no choice but to go down and bring the man up.

Since this weather, Shen Yan has lived in Li Shi'an's house. Although they are not in the same room, they go to and from school together every day, and do homework together at night.

After not getting along for a few months, Shen Yan felt that Li Shi'an seemed to be a different person. In the past, when the two of them worked together, Li Shi'an was listless as if his spine had been pulled out, or else he was clawing around like a monkey, and had to look at it from time to time. Looking at Xiao Xie, it is very different now, sitting down is like Dinghaishenzhen, although it is not very serious, but the attitude is still good.

Compared with Li Shi'an, Shen Yan himself was a little distracted.

After Shen Yan inexplicably distanced himself from Li Shi'an before, he always wanted to "die" himself, that is, to confess his love to Li Shi'an at least once, even if he refused.

But now living in Li Shi'an's house, Shen Yan changed his mind.

Shen Yan felt that Li Shi'an was like... like his hermit crab, timid and cautious, he would retract into his shell whenever he smelled uneasiness, and it would take a long time to get out. This time he managed to get out, Shen Yan I don't want to scare him away again.

But he didn't want Li Shi'an to feel that he had given up. Now it's the right time, place, and people. From time to time, he pretended to touch Li Shi'an's hand with an eraser, or pretended to rub Li Shi'an's cat's paw pad intentionally or unintentionally when giving a lecture. earlobe.

Of course Li Shi'an felt these small movements of Shen Yan, he was speechless, and felt that after Shen Yan's emotions became enlightened, he became a hopeless big slut.

But then again, he doesn't seem to be offended.

So he asked himself: So... am I crooked too?This question really puzzled Li Shi'an for several days.

One night there was a knock on the door, and Qu Ya came to look for Shen Yan.

Qu Ya gave Shen Yan enough time to calm down, but Shen Yan still refused to see her, Li Shi'an went out to deal with it in embarrassment, and beckoned Qu Ya to come in and sit down.

"No, no, no," Qu Ya knew that the two children would feel uncomfortable if she went in, so she quickly refused, "Did Auntie interrupt your study?"

"No, I had to rest for a while." Li Shi'an had no choice but to stand on the door and talk to her.

Qu Ya was wearing a camel sweater and her chestnut curly hair was permed. She exuded a gentle aura, which made Li Shi'an feel very comfortable. This was the definition of "mother" in his impression, so the feeling of embarrassment gradually disappeared.

"Is Xiaoyan still practicing dancing on weekends?" Qu Ya began to ask about Shen Yan's situation.

"Practice." Li Shi'an thought for a while and added, "I usually practice."

Qu Ya nodded comfortingly, and handed over a bag: "This is the scarf and gloves woven by Auntie. It's getting cold, and it's so cold at night when you come back from dancing practice on weekends, so you ask him to bring them. Auntie also knitted one for you." Set, you see if it fits, if it's not suitable, tell auntie, auntie will take it back and change it."

Li Shi'an was embarrassed: "Thank you, Auntie."

Qu Ya smiled and said, "You're welcome, it's Xiaoyan who caused you trouble." After a pause, the two of them really had nothing to talk about, and Qu Ya said again, "Xiaoyan likes ballet very much. Praise him for being very talented, and going abroad will undoubtedly help him in his future career, but this kid is too stubborn, and he won't go abroad if he says he can't go abroad... Can you help Auntie persuade him?"

Li Shi'an was a little embarrassed, but still said: "Auntie... I will try."

Qu Yahong left with eyes wide open, Li Shi'an went back to the room and knocked on the door, pushed the door in and saw Shen Yan reading a book on the bed, he handed over the gloves and scarf knitted by Qu Ya: "Your mother asked me to find you one, and let I advise you to study abroad."

"How do you plan to persuade?" Shen Yan took the bag and understood Qu Ya's meaning at a glance. He only took out one set and stuffed the other set into Li Shi'an.

Li Shi'an took it and sat down beside the bed and said, "I don't know."

"Then don't persuade me."

The fact that Qu Ya wanted to send herself away to whitewash the peace made Shen Yan very depressed, he put the book aside, his hands just hung down naturally on the protruding knees.

Li Shi'an remembered the night when he first met his grandparents, he should have looked like this when he was crying in the alley. At that time, Shen Yan didn't say anything, just quietly accompanied him.

He also took off his shoes and sat on the bed, leaning against Shen Yan as a comfort.

Li Shi'an's action made Shen Yan slightly startled, and couldn't help pulling Li Shi'an's hand.

When the soft palm touched his fingers, Li Shi'an tried to break free, but Shen Yan didn't let go.

Li Shi'an didn't take another step. If it's nothing to hold hands the night Shen Yan was ill, what about this time?

do not know.

Sometimes he felt that he was more reluctant to part with Shen Yan, and sometimes he felt that he was not, because sometimes when he saw him, the heartache and pity in his heart had already surpassed the scope of friendship.

Li Shi'an is very contradictory and confused, so he can only push and let go in this contradiction and confusion.