undercover dad

Sun Haiyang didn't sleep well that night. Nightmares appeared one after another. Either he got stuck in the swamp, watched faceless ghosts approaching step by step, tried his best to pull his legs but couldn't get out, or was caught by a group of wow-wah monsters. , the ferocious little evil spirit chased all over the woods, watching the people around him rushing out one by one, leaving him alone, no matter how hard he tried, his long legs would not exceed 5 centimeters at a time, and then desperately Looking at a group of little evil spirits with big eyes and big holes all over their faces, they grinned and rushed towards him...

But every time he dies incompletely, so before he can wake up from one nightmare, he is revived into another nightmare with full blood.

Played a night of infinite horror games in a dream...

Until I heard a crisp "ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"

He stared in a daze, and it took a lot of effort to open his eyelids. In a kind of confusion of "Damn it, where is this, have I timed?", he slowly woke up.

The wall stickers of Cockroach Bear and Tigger on the opposite wall gradually brought him back to reality.

He remembered, oh, this is not my own home, this is the home of He Xiaonian and He Xiaobao, this is the bed where He Xiaobao and I sleep, this is the first morning of my nanny career.

He struggled to support the bed with his arms, sat up with his eyes closed, and saw He Xiaobao who was sitting across from him.

He Xiaobao just sat across from him in a daze, from his half-opened almond eyes and frowning brows, it was impossible to tell whether he was awake or not.

The images in the dream drifted past his eyes frame by frame, and Sun Haiyang couldn't help shivering in the early morning twilight. He whispered a little tremblingly, "Xiaobao, are you awake?"

He Xiaobao glanced at him with half-opened eyes, then suddenly raised his neck, "Oh, oh, oh" and learned to crow again, then lowered his head, and asked softly, "Where's my little quilt?"

In shock, Sun Haiyang handed over the little blue quilt thrown beside him. He Xiaobao grabbed his own little quilt, touched and rubbed it with his little hands, and within a minute, he fell headlong on the ground. On the bed, fell asleep again.

Sun Haiyang was left alone in shock and speechless to ask the sky.

He sat on the bed blankly, looked at Xiao Bao who was sleeping soundly at his feet, calmed down, crawled to the side of the bed, checked the mobile phone on the chest of drawers, and checked the time.

The time displayed on the mobile phone is not too long, exactly 5:14.

He put down his phone, leaned back against the bed, and facing the joyful Tigger and Dick Bear on the other side of the wall, let out a long and slow breath: I'm going to die, fuck, I'm fucking... really going to die!

……

It was still early and people were exhausted, but the way he was called up was so unforgettable that it was impossible to fall asleep even if he wanted to. Sun Haiyang stared at He Xiaobao, who was sleeping soundly, in a daze for a while, then grabbed his phone again and opened WeChat .

The first unread message on WeChat is from his employer, He Xiaonian. He Xiaonian’s WeChat nickname is the same as his person’s, but there is a heart that needs to be beaten under the warm appearance. His nickname is: I would like to chat with others (rose )except you.

He stared at the nickname and the profile picture of He Xiaonian's half-drawn profile next to the nickname, and felt the urge to prick a row of small holes in the silhouette with a toothpick.

Gritting his teeth for a long time, he still opened WeChat and glanced at the contents.

This WeChat message is the task that He Xiaonian assigned to him last night after getting up early:

Get up in the morning and give He Xiaobao a drink of water. Make sure that the water temperature is adjusted at about 35 degrees. The boiling water is in the kettle, and the cold water is drying in the measuring cup. After mixing the water, you need to test the temperature. There is a thermometer in the dinner plate on the window sill in the living room , rinse with water before trying, be careful not to give him more than two glasses of water;

After drinking water, watch Xiaobao brush his teeth. You brush his teeth at night to ensure that every gap between his teeth is cleaned, but let him brush his teeth in the morning. You have to watch from the side, otherwise he will be lazy;

Peel half an apple or kiwi for him after brushing his teeth, and show him half an episode of Dora the Explorer, remember to only watch half an episode, or he will be late for school;

He is very likely to shit in the morning, you wipe his ass, after wiping his butt, you must use the shower to wash his butt, otherwise it will not be clean;

The kindergarten is at the gate of the community, turn left and walk southward for about 100 meters. The blue and yellow building is there. He is in the third class, and the teacher's surname is Wei;

I haven't thought of other things for the time being, let's think about it, if you have any doubts, find a way to solve it yourself!Don't bother me to sleep in the morning. When you come back, fry an egg for me, warm a cup of milk, have bread in the refrigerator, soak two lettuce leaves for me, and eat with cheese.

Sauce for now!

……

Just for now!And a fucking exclamation point!

Sun Haiyang stared at the phone screen for a long time, and decided that when he had the opportunity to tie He Xiaonian's silhouette head in the future, he would not need a toothpick, but would use a stapler to order it directly.

……

He Xiaonian actually didn't sleep well last night. The wall separating his room from Xiaobao's room is not a load-bearing wall, and the sound insulation effect is not very good. He can clearly hear the interaction between Xiaobao and Sun Haiyang next door. sound.

From He Xiaobao hitting Sun Haiyang, crying and apologizing, to finishing singing the whole song "On the Golden Mountain in Beijing", to finally stopping and starting to snore, he could hear all these voices clearly.

After all, Sun Haiyang is a young guy. He has never met him before today, and he doesn't know what kind of temper he has. Once he is bullied by Xiaobao and becomes violent, he will explode, but the previous nannies may not be able to keep up with him.

While absently browsing various fashion information on the webpage, he paid close attention to the movement next door. He didn't go to the company's OA until Xiaobao and Sun Haiyang stopped talking, and opened a weekly sales report.

Last week's data was not very good, or in other words, after the summer, the sales data became less and less good day by day.

There is no way, the impact of online shopping on entities is too serious. Even mid-to-high-end fashion brands like their company have begun to experience a serious decline in sales under the double attack of the Internet and the economic downturn.

The company has already begun to shrink its product line. Last year, it sold two derivative brands, and cut off two series of products in the accessories department. There could be a hundred or so people abolished. This year, it has already vaguely felt that the upper class The product line of the clothing department has started to be compressed. Li Zihong and his group have cut off half of the SKUs for this order. This should be just the beginning. It is estimated that there will be a series of personnel actions in the future.

Headache!He Xiaonian rubbed his temples, and closed his eyes wearily.

Of course, the product itself is becoming less and less creative and unable to tell a story, which is also the main reason!

Fashion is too unreal, and the tastes of modern young people are too jumpy. You ride a thousand-mile horse and chase after you, panting, but when you look up, you find that he is riding a rocket, and he has already gone to the sky...

inspiration!

What designers need most is inspiration!

But right now, I'm alone with a five and a half year old kid who doesn't understand anything except messing around, not to mention inspiration, I'm going to lose all pain, sex, pleasure, and XX soon, all fucking Numbed by tossing!

Alas, I can only pin my hopes on this Sun Haiyang, I hope he can gain some strength and keep that brat safe!

……

When He Xiaonian woke up in the morning, the sky was already bright, he tilted his head on the pillow and yawned, tried to open his eyes, and then reached out to fish for the mobile phone on the bedside table.

8:42, perfect!It's my luck not to get up before 8:30!

He put on his slippers, wandered out of the bedroom, and suddenly heard the sound of running water in the kitchen. He was stunned for a moment, and then suddenly remembered the fact that there was another Sun Haiyang besides him at home.

It is estimated that Sun Haiyang is preparing breakfast for him right now!

Thinking of the young man with a face full of youth wearing an apron and standing in front of the stove waving a rice spoon, He Xiaonian laughed a little, forget it, don't bother others at this time, go wash up first Bar.

He took a shower in the bathroom, brushed his teeth again, was shirtless, and put a towel on his shoulders. When he came out, he heard the water still rushing in the kitchen.

Only then did he feel something was wrong, so he rushed to the kitchen in a few steps.

Sun Haiyang didn't wear an apron.

After sending He Xiaobao off, he came back sweating, took off his shirt, and went into the kitchen shirtless. According to He Xiaonian's request, he fried a half-cooked egg. It looked a bit runny from the front, but it also looked like it from the back. Still very loose-hearted, but he is too sleepy today, his mind is numb, and he is too lazy to rework.

Then I picked a few lettuce leaves, put them in the sink, turned on the tap, and waited for the water to fill the sink.

Most of the time, the sound of running water can help you urinate; but on rare occasions, it can also help you sleep.

Listening to the sound of rushing water, he leaned on the edge of the pool and fell asleep standing up.

When He Xiaonian entered the kitchen, he found that not only the water in the vegetable basin was full, but even the water in the sink was full because the drain was blocked by the vegetable basin.

The water surged out of the pool and flowed all over the ground along the edge of the pool.

And Sun Haiyang didn't know whether he was stupid or dead, but he just stood by the pool, looking down at the water flowing down like that.

He Xiaonian rushed over, quickly turned off the faucet, turned his head angrily, and yelled at Sun Haiyang: "Damn it! You..."

He turned his head and saw Sun Haiyang's tightly closed eyes, the obvious blackness under the eyelids, and a small patch of inconspicuous redness on the cheek next to him, which he judged to be the masterpiece of Xiaobao's fist last night...

He Xiaonian swallowed the swear words that were about to blurt out, looked at Sun Haiyang for a long time, and sighed heavily.

I was actually thinking of pinning my hopes on this kid last night, and I went to the doctor in a hurry!

He stretched out his right hand and patted Sun Haiyang's face, "Hey, hey, wake up, wake up!"

Sun Haiyang's head nodded, his body swayed twice, he didn't wake up, and he tilted to the right, and fell on He Xiaonian.

"Fuck!" He Xiaonian hurriedly caught Sun Haiyang's fallen body, this kid was taller than him, and his weight was not light, so pressed down, He Xiaonian's waist was forced to lean on the glazed platform, and it hurt so badly.

Besides, in the summer, the bodies of the two shirtless men are steaming hot, so skin to skin, it's really indescribably awkward!

"Your uncle! Sun Haiyang!" He Xiaonian tugged at Sun Haiyang's shoulder irritably. Sun Haiyang's head drooped on his shoulder, and he even smacked his mouth twice. The next string of halazi.

He hugged Sun Haiyang's shoulders and desperately dragged him out of the kitchen.

With anger in his heart, he moved very violently, like dragging a bag of cement, and threw Sun Haiyang onto the sofa.

Sun Haiyang was finally woken up by him, looked around in a daze, and sat up from the sofa in a daze, "Damn, the water, the water is not turned off yet!"

He Xiaonian was almost annoyed by him, he waved his hand irritably, "Okay, rest, when you think about it, the water will overflow Jinshan!"

Sun Haiyang smacked his mouth in a daze, and slowly came to his senses.

He was a little aware that he seemed to fall asleep while washing the vegetables with the water on, but he didn't know how long he slept, and he didn't know what the hell was going on in the kitchen.

But it doesn't matter, no matter how grand and tragic the situation is, there is only one ending, that is, he has to clean up by himself.

It's just...he looked up at He Xiaonian, and asked hesitantly: "Brother, what about your breakfast..."

He Xiaonian waved his hands weakly, "I'll go out to eat by myself, you can just clean up your room later and eat by yourself!"

After finishing speaking, he got up and was about to go back to the house to get dressed. When he stood up, he remembered something, and turned to look at Sun Haiyang with a frown.

Sun Haiyang was a little stunned by his disgusted gaze, he glanced up and down at himself, "What's wrong? Is there something...wrong?"

He Xiaonian still frowned, "Ocean, from now on at home, don't be shirtless, let alone naked, at least wear a vest and pants!"

Sun Haiyang took a look at He Xiaonian, who was also shirtless, and felt that he was really baffled. This He Xiaonian had too many fucking things to do, and his being shirtless was bothering him.

He couldn't help but get a little angry: "Why? Aren't you shirtless too!"

He Xiaonian stared at him, and lazily shook his shoulders: "We are different, I pay, you take the money! You can do whatever you are told, why are there so many!"

Sun Haiyang leaned back on the sofa behind him, and closed his eyes. He Xiaonian's words really brought out the fire that he had been holding back from last night until now. It also needs to be dignified, what he said...

He countered coldly: "Then you, the benefactor, are really kind. People pay people to undress, but when you come to you, you pay people to dress. What's the matter?" He glanced at He Xiaonian's face. The waist down, "You are so young, you can't tell, it's okay!"

Sun Haiyang looked at He Xiaonian so that the flames almost burned through his skin. He really wanted to pick up something and throw it at Sun Haiyang's face, but he looked around and didn't see any convenient weapons. I saw a mess that hadn't been cleaned up since last night.

He slowly suppressed the anger in his chest, no, I can't provoke this kid, I still have to rely on him to suppress the real monster king at home!

He smiled gently at Sun Haiyang, "Don't worry, if you want to try, there will be a chance for you to take it off!"

After all, he stopped looking at Sun Haiyang, turned around and wandered into his room in a smart way.

After He Xiaonian went to work, Sun Haiyang was left alone in the room. He looked around the room, thinking of the piles of rubbish inside and outside waiting for him to clean up, this time he really felt sad... …